Pure Requiem

by Aja James

  “I found another one,” she rasps with delight.

  “Right here.”

  She spreads my ass cheeks open with her strong hands again and spears her tongue close to my anus, but not quite upon it, presumably tagging another “star” as hers.

  My breath hitches in my throat, my heart balancing on a knife’s edge.

  My mind expects pain, but my body feels pleasure. The combination is as heady as it is confusing.

  “Lever up a little, baby.”

  Baby?

  She’s never called me such. I’ve heard the endearment used between Gabriel and Inanna, Tristan and Ayelet, Cloud and Aella, but not with the other couples in the Shield, and not very often.

  It is another one of those modern colloquialisms that I do not entirely understand. While I can see the merits of a male who is larger and stronger calling his female this, I cannot wrap my mind around a female calling her Mate the same.

  And yet…I liked it when Ishtar used it with me just now, I decide.

  I like it a lot.

  I do as she requests, and as soon as I push up on my elbows, one of her hands massages its way from my perineum to cup my scrotum and give it a lingering squeeze, before rhythmically clenching and releasing its way up the column of my sex. At the same time, I feel her warm breath blow into the seam of my buttocks, teasing my anus, making me tighten the surrounding muscles reflexively.

  Gods, what is she doing to me?

  I’ve never…she’s never…These feelings she evokes in me defy description.

  Her hand is slightly wet from the rain, but her palm is hot like the rest of her. She begins to milk my staff with hard, possessive pulls, her fist screwing over the top of my swollen cockhead to collect and spread my slickness before twisting back down over the length of my sex. Her other hand spreads my ass cheek as she licks slowly from the base of my sex, over my sacs, across my perineum, and through the valley of my buttocks, glancing just barely over the tender tissues of my anus.

  She does this repeatedly, over and over.

  Her hand pumps my cock in a steady, relentless rhythm, but her tongue grows more daring with each pass between my buttocks. Until I feel the tip, and then the flat of her tongue, swipe and linger over the tenderest part of me, each time for a longer duration than the last.

  You taste so good, Tal, she says in our joined minds. Salty, sweet, spicy, clean. You feel so good. Steel and silk. So slick and wet here at the crown. Will you come for me, baby? Will you let me in?

  Fuck. Her words are my undoing.

  My hips move on their own accord, trying to increase the friction of her hand around my cock by pulling back when she pushes forward. My arms quiver with the stress of keeping my body slightly off the ground, when all I want to do is let go and pound a hole into the earth.

  I want to take control so badly.

  She commands me to release, but she doesn’t let me. Her hand squeezing my base and balls whenever I am close to the edge. The pressure inside builds to an unbearable crescendo, until the pain of my thwarted release overcomes the fear and pain in my mind.

  I can feel the tendons in my neck pop as I shake my head from side to side, chasing that impossible high that she dangles just out of my reach.

  Come. Now, my love. Come for me.

  All at once, I let go, clenching my body tight, before releasing my seed in jet after jet of hot, milky ribbons into the grass, overflowing her hand. And in the midst of my mindless euphoria, at the moment of my release, I feel a hot, wet, slippery muscle spear into my unclenched hole, reaching deep.

  Fucking gods!

  A hoarse shout tears out of my throat at the indescribable sensation of being penetrated and jacked off at the same time.

  There is pain, so much burning pain. The strength of her fist around my tortured, sensitive, pulsing sex. The invasion of her tongue into my body, into the core of my unhealed wounds, like rubbing salt upon raw, bloody flesh.

  But there is also pleasure. Undiluted, unfathomable pleasure. The freedom of my never-ending release. The healing venom in her saliva that spreads inside of me, numbing, soothing.

  And then, she slowly moves her tongue around, thrusting, licking, until the tip repeatedly, ruthlessly, rubs against something inside that racks my whole body in uncontrollable shudders of intense pain and pleasure.

  “Stop…It’s…too much…Fuck…”

  I can only stutter the barely intelligible words through gritted teeth, my body completely beyond my own control now.

  I am a slave to Ishtar’s will. She is remaking me from the inside out.

  She doesn’t stop. She doesn’t let up. She commands me with her greater animal strength, drawing out my release endlessly with her hand, fucking my hole with her strong, nubile tongue.

  It seems that she’s touching everywhere inside me, everywhere that I’m torn, broken, bleeding and raw. It hurts so much I can’t breathe. I’m beyond thought.

  But at the same time, a fiery warmth spreads through my insides, until the pain transmutes into pleasure, and my whole body contorts in a head-to-toe vise—

  Suddenly, she pulls out and turns me to my back, a split second before I unleash the hardest, most explosive orgasm I’ve ever had. Just as her mouth closes tightly over my erupting cockhead, sucking down my cream into her throat as both hands milk my column and balls, squeezing, pulling, pushing, owning.

  It is all I can do to gulp for breath, my voice long gone.

  When she milks the last drop out of me, and my body is nothing more than a puddle of fried nerves, turned inside out, satiated beyond belief, yet amazingly throbbing for more, she climbs up my body and lays herself over me, devouring my mouth in a still hungry, needy kiss.

  I can taste myself on her tongue, and a primal, triumphant growl reverberates through my chest.

  “As I said, you have the most magnificent ass in the universe,” she purrs against my lips, making light of what really happened between us just now:

  That she reached into the deepest, most shameful, broken part of me and claimed it as her own.

  “Will you let me have you again?”

  I roll her onto her back and reverse our positions, grinding my undying erection into her clothed belly.

  “You shall have me always,” I answer, my voice raw with emotion. “But first, it’s my turn…baby.”

  Her body softens like melted butter at my words. I guess she likes the endearment as much as I do.

  And so, I take my turn with methodical, meticulous care.

  And then I take it again, and again, rough, hard, demanding, unrelenting. Until our bodies burn so hot and bright as one, we become our own shooting star in the autumn rain.

  Chapter Ten: I See Colors, They’re Changing

  *EREBU*

  Dear brother,

  I’ve been at the Shield for a couple of months now. It is already November.

  If I stop to think about it, it’s almost inconceivable how easily the Pure Ones’ and their allies accepted me into their fold. Now that I have a real name, no longer an “it,” and now that I’ve recovered the memories from my past, Before Medusa, it’s as if I’m a brand new person. At least to others.

  But I don’t feel brand new. I feel exhausted, wrung out, and confused honestly.

  That orphan boy that used to be me should have died. So many times before and after Medusa, he should have died and stayed dead.

  I don’t know how to bridge the divide between who I was, what I did—the good, bad, and ugly—who I am, and who I want to be.

  I’m surrounded by good people. The very best. The noblest. (The boring-est). But I don’t feel entirely “good,” despite my parentage. I’ve done bad things. I’m not sure I feel the remorse that I should. My conscience is a fickle thing.

  I don’t think I’ll ever be like you, for example.

  Heroic. Self-sacrificing. Determined. Unwavering. (Stupidly Loyal.) Righteous…I could go on. You remind me a lot of the General. In fact, I can totally picture y
ou as his long-lost son rather than someone dark and depraved like me.

  Nevertheless, I try to fit in, or at least not be obtrusive. My rekindled friendship with Liv, or Ninsa as she used to be called in the incarnation that I knew (I still hate her guts for what she did, but I also forgive her, if that makes sense), helps me while away the time, though I am ever vigilant of discovery—I am, after all, still the cuckoo in a nest of phoenixes.

  Both Liv and Sophia drag me to the training center and gym everyday for hours of grueling “exercise.” Honestly, if they have repressed anger against me, they should just call it what it is: an excuse to beat me bloody. Because that’s what happens.

  They punch and kick me with their bare fists and feet, choke me, throw me around (go on and laugh, it’s true that females, including those half my size, have no problems kicking my ass) in the name of teaching me self-defense. In the interest of strengthening my malnourished body and building muscles I never knew I had.

  Granted, I am filling out some. I am developing more muscles beneath the thin layer of skin stretched over my bones. I’m eating better. I can hold down adult-sized meals now, though nothing too rich (I make exceptions for Mama Bear’s desserts). I’m still not fond of eating meat. And I continue to get regular infusions of Pure blood from Tal.

  Speaking of which, something has changed in him. I can feel it in the blood that he gives me. It’s stronger, richer. Incredibly powerful. Whenever I get an infusion, I feel my senses come alive in ways they never have before. And by extension, I feel stronger, more powerful.

  He also looks like a male who gets more than just “some,” if you know what I mean.

  Ugh. It makes me break out a little in hives to know that my progenitors are getting it on regularly and thoroughly. This is one of the many reasons I prefer to think of them as Tal and Ishtar, not Dad and Mom.

  (We don’t openly talk about our blood ties, however. I think we all know, but no one explicitly mentions it. We pretend to be no more than acquaintances, not quite friends and not entirely enemies. That’s the way I want to keep it.)

  I had the impression that Tal hates sex as much as I do. I thought that at least we have that in common. But nope, I guess I was wrong. He’s apparently overcome his hump, while I remain disgusted and terrified by the mere thought of sex.

  Which leads me to a secret I haven’t yet told anyone (except you). The one bout of sex I actually did right. So right that I managed to impregnate a human woman. That resulted in the birth of the most beautiful, magical boy in the world.

  My Benjamin.

  And I love him more than anything else in the world.

  E.

  “What happened to you, I mean, Ninsa, after I left the village?” I ask Liv as we sit side by side in the sauna next to the communal shower behind the gym.

  I have a towel wrapped around my boney hips, and she has one wrapped around her flat-as-a-board torso.

  Hey, I’m honest with our shortcomings. This is the real world. I’ve never believed in rose-colored glasses.

  “Suddenly, this trip down memory lane pops into your head?” she quips, her eyes closed, her body relaxed beside mine.

  “I just wondered,” I murmur, feeling drowsy.

  She takes a deep breath and lets it out in a long sigh.

  “After I realized that I couldn’t make it my life’s mission to search for you and still live a life, I decided to combine the two by joining the human Resistance that was supporting the Pure Ones in the war. I thought that it would bring me closer to you, that in some small way, I might be helping you.”

  “I never pegged you for the soldiering kind,” I muse.

  “I never wanted to be a fighter,” she admits. “If you recall, I just wanted a home and a family of my own.”

  “Ah yes, an average, non-toady man to give you a few babies.”

  “Yeah, that wasn’t in my cards,” she grunts. “And I realized that night…after what happened…that I didn’t ever want to feel so terrified and helpless again. I wanted to be able to protect myself, and when I found you again, to have a chance to protect you.”

  “You’re doing a bang-up job of that,” I mutter.

  “Literally.”

  She swivels to squint at me through narrowed eyes.

  “Seriously, what is wrong with you? Your parents are two of the fiercest fighters there ever was in the Pure Ones’ history. Your father the General that led the whole race to victory, your mother the prophesized Great White Beast. Your sister was the Angel of Death for the Dark Queen Jade Cicada once upon a time, and now the Light Bringer of the Elite. And then there’s you.”

  “Your point being?” I intone.

  “It’s like you got all the pretty, superficial genes and none of the substance.”

  Ouch.

  I know this, but it still sucks to have it pointed out so bluntly to me.

  “Well, someone has to look good,” I bare my teeth in the fakest smile, even as something inside my chest squeezes with pain.

  She’s silent for a while, a novelty in of itself. I try to enjoy it.

  But then, she releases a beleaguered breath.

  “Why do you do that? Why don’t you tell me I’m full of shit? Why don’t you knock me back for talking down to you like that?”

  Huh?

  Was she trying to rile me up on purpose?

  “Why would I waste breath arguing against what’s true?” I ask the obvious.

  She punches my shoulder with her fist, almost toppling me from the wooden bench.

  I’m proud that I barely wince. I’ve gotten so many bruises from Sophia and Liv in training that I hardly notice any more.

  “It’s not true, you idiot,” she argues her own earlier assertion vehemently, confusing me. “You need to learn to stand up for yourself. Physically, mentally, spiritually. You need to own your self worth.”

  I’m starting to get good and pissed. I’m sick and tired of these psychological games.

  “I know my worth,” I growl, pushing her back as hard as I can, using my immortal strength, watching with satisfaction when she practically flies against the opposite wall and smacks into it with a fleshly thud.

  “I’m devilishly brilliant, deviously cunning. I have an expansive vocabulary and can harness many languages, including English, better than most. Unlike some manish-looking dwarf woman with owlish eyes. I have beautiful hair and stunning eyes. And a magic dick that makes all people come like they’ve never come before in their entire lives.”

  Except for the one or two people I voluntarily tried to fuck. But that’s just a rounding error amongst the countless people I did fuck, however unwillingly.

  She grunts with soreness as she straightens her towel and sits back down on the bench beside me, completely ignoring my recent violent outburst, as if it was expected that I send her flying into a wall.

  “You’re also loyal, protective and incredibly brave, An-Nisi.”

  “Pfftt,” I dismiss.

  If she’s referring to the misguided heroics of my previous life, that was just a blip in good judgement. I would never do anything so stupid again. I was obviously not in my right mind when I stepped in to protect Ninsa, and also when I pretended to be the Pure Queen Ninti and suffered the consequences in her stead.

  Won’t repeat that idiocrasy, that’s for fucking sure.

  “Same thing with physical training. It’s like you just can’t learn to hit back—”

  “I just shoved you into a wall!” I remind her.

  “That was nothing. That’s just you showing irritation. If you used your full strength, you would have sent me flying through the wall and I wouldn’t be getting back up without at least a few broken bones.”

  “You want me to put you in the hospital?”

  I can’t believe this ridiculous conversation.

  “I want you to fight for yourself!” she practically shouts into my ear. “You fought for me. I know you’ve fought for others, even if you haven’t told me everything th
at happened after you left the village. Why can’t you do the same for you.”

  I shrug and turn my face away, exhausted by this exchange.

  “There’s nothing to fight for when it’s me.”

  “Arrrgggghhhh!” she does screech this time, nearly bursting my eardrums. “You make me so friggin’ mad!”

  “Back at you!” I shout, jumping to my feet as she bounces to hers, the two of us squaring off in our limp white towels.

  “You’re a rotten friend!” I hurl at her. “I hate you for what you did! I hated myself after that. I still do! You don’t know what I’ve been through. You weren’t there! You were the only person in the world that I trusted, and you fucking abandoned me! YOU WEREN’T THERE!”

  “An-Ni—”

  “Stop fucking calling me that! I’m nobody’s blue-green heaven. I’m hell on wheels, baby. I’m pure darkness. One of these days I’m going to betray all of you do-gooder trusting fools. Then, you’ll see me for what I really am. Then, you’ll know I’m worthless.”

  “Ere—”

  “There’s only one good thing I did in life. ONE. I made a child. The most beautiful, wonderful, brilliant child in the world. I did that right. Even if I ruined his mother when I drank her blood and took half of her soul.”

  Liv finally shuts her gaping mouth in the face of my rant, giving me the opportunity to bear down on her and back her into the wall.

  She needs to hear this. I need to say it. She needs to know me for the monster that I am, not some heroic figment of her imagination.

  “I don’t know why I didn’t just kill her that night,” I mutter, speaking of Olivia. “I meant to. I was starving. But I didn’t. I fucked her and miraculously impregnated her. Then left her to pine after me and lose herself in the process.”

  My mouth cants to one side in a sneer of self-disgust.

  “Cuz, dontcha know—my dick is magically addictive. She couldn’t forget me. Or rather the disguise I wore that night. Couldn’t move on. I didn’t give a fuck. She was just a hole I somehow found the wherewithal to fill up with my spunk. Now tell me I’m loyal, protective and brave. You have no fucking clue who I am.”