Atonement

by Tanith Frost

  God, he’s practically salivating. Viktor may not have had a grudge against Daniel before, but he sure as hell wants to see him brought down now.

  Daniel waits another few seconds, obviously in no rush to appease him. If I didn’t know better, I’d think Daniel had nothing to lose here. “Aviva and I followed the orders we were given directly by our high elder.” He nods respectfully to Miranda. “We protected the old ones, attempted to shelter them. When the Blood Defenders made it clear that our group was a target, we retaliated and neutralized a threat against Maelstrom and the supernatural world. It was my understanding that reinforcements would be delayed, so we took it upon ourselves to locate and kill Helena Slade, the greatest human threat we’ve faced in decades.”

  Trent steps forward. He takes out the papers he collected at the house from inside his jacket, sets them on the table before Miranda, and steps back.

  Daniel nods at the bloodstained papers. “We have names and addresses for the Blood Defenders who may or may not still be active, along with a good idea of their numbers and connections should you decide to finish them all.”

  And that’s all he says. No apologies, no denial of accusations.

  Miranda glances at the papers, but makes no move to look them over. Raymond slides them toward himself and flips through them. Miranda’s lips tighten. It’s the only sign of her irritation, but it’s clear enough.

  A chill passes over me. Viktor and Raymond are taking over her jobs. Questioning Daniel. Accepting evidence. Making judgements.

  The power balance among the elders has shifted, and they know it. They won’t give her breathing space as she heals. They’ll take every inch afforded by her circumstances, cling tight to every toehold they find. I have no doubt they’ll make it seem like it’s for her good, but I don’t see them relinquishing any power they’ve gained after she recovers.

  The thought of Viktor holding power turns my stomach. He and Raymond are her closest advisors, vampires who are supposed to support their high elder and obey her. But they outnumber her.

  Raymond sets the papers aside and sits back, apparently satisfied. Viktor appears less inclined to accept the explanation. The muscles in his jaw flex and twitch as he glares at Daniel.

  “And the other orders you received?”

  “The ones you gave me that would have directly contradicted those given to me by your superior?” Daniel asks. There’s a distinct edge to his voice now, but he seems more irritated than afraid. “Would that I could have discussed them further with you, Viktor, but my phone malfunctioned. I was left to make a judgement call, and I chose obedience to my high elder over risking the safety of those Aviva and I had been charged with caring for. And when they volunteered to face the threat that would have wiped us all out, I supported them. I felt certain you’d choose to do the same in my place.” He pauses. “Serving your clan, I mean. Not placing its most vulnerable members in danger in spite of Miranda’s wishes.”

  Daniel looks to Miranda, including her in the conversation even though she doesn’t seem inclined to speak, making it clear who he serves.

  Viktor’s lip twitches. If he had a heartbeat, I suspect a massive vein would be throbbing in his forehead by now. “Indeed. This will require a thorough debriefing, of course. Your decision to go after Helena Slade with an untrained crew of vampires could have had disastrous consequences. It shows a distinct lack of proper judgement.”

  I clench my hands into tight fists and hold myself back from the schooling I’m tempted to give Viktor, consequences be damned. Anything I say will only make things worse.

  Daniel nods. “I look forward to learning how I might do better in the future. And I’m certainly interested in what your full plan might have been, had we had time to discuss it.”

  I look to Miranda again. Her eyes are locked on Daniel, as Trent’s remaining eye is on her.

  A queen is only as strong as those closest to her. She holds more power than anyone in this room, but if the other elders are disloyal, she could lose everything now. She’s weak, and the vultures are circling, but there’s something shining in her dark eyes that wasn’t there just a few minutes ago.

  I could be wrong, but if I had to give it a name, I’d call it hope.

  Nothing changes, but I feel like the ground has shifted under me and I’m seeing everything from a higher vantage point. Miranda needs Daniel now more than she ever has, and his defiance of Viktor proves his loyalty to her. His willingness to play the weird power games I’ll never understand could save her—and by extension, Maelstrom as we know it, the elderly misfits I’ve grown so fond of, and me.

  His ambitions aren’t just about him, or about gaining power. They’re far bigger than that.

  “Aviva,” Viktor says, though he barely seems to be talking to me. “Trouble seems to follow everywhere you go.”

  I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to answer that non-question, so I stay silent.

  Viktor taps his pen on the table and turns to Raymond, his attention somehow passing by Miranda though she sits between them. “This is what I’ve been saying. We’re far too lax about the continued existence of those who can’t properly support our clan.” He nods toward me. “Whether they’re like this one and should never have been made in the first place, or whether they’ve grown weak over the years, the outcome is the same. They’re weak links that we can’t afford. Not with the world as it is.” He settles back in his chair and turns his cold eyes on me. “It’s bad enough that thanks to her we have werewolves on the loose again. Imagine how all of that could have blown up in our faces. How it still could. And on top of that we’re left with unsuitable clan members to weigh us down when we can least afford to show weakness. Criminals, traitors, dead weight.” He spits out every word.

  I grit my teeth. Daniel’s shoulders tighten. Neither of us answers. Nor does Trent, who stares solemnly ahead. I can only imagine how this all sounds to him after the sacrifices he’s made.

  How can Viktor be so fucking bold, questioning Miranda’s methods and leadership when she’s sitting right there?

  The answer is obvious, and terrible. He thinks she’s finished, ready to be locked away with the other useless drains on Maelstrom’s resources. He doesn’t have any reason to fear her wrath, and he sees his rise to power as inevitable, thanks to the actions of a few zealous humans.

  Viktor keeps his attention focused on me. “I can’t help wondering whether your influence has something to do with Daniel’s recent choices. He was such a trustworthy member of our clan until he made the mistake of choosing to train you.” He arches an eyebrow. “Perhaps your trainer isn’t as strong as we’ve all been led to believe. Perhaps he’s being led astray. Perhaps we’ve been wrong to trust him as we have. Is that the case, Aviva?”

  He speaks my name in the same tone he might use to say cockroach. Or human.

  So either Daniel is responsible for all of our disobedience, or he’s weak. Rock and a hard place, and it’s my call.

  I look to Daniel. He’s turned back to watch me. My power is too weak for me to have any chance of opening myself to feel anything from him, and I doubt he’d risk exposing himself even if I could. Still, I can practically feel him willing me not to dig myself in deeper. To give a little, play my cards right, and let his good reputation bear this for both of us.

  Fuck.

  “I very much doubt I have that kind of influence,” I tell Viktor. “As Daniel said, we were following orders. His decisions were all in line with them.”

  “And you were just along for the ride?”

  I straighten my shoulders, standing as tall as I’m able. “I took responsibility for the vampires who were left in my care, per my assignment. I kept them out of harm’s way as well as I could.” My voice grows hard as I think about the events of the past few days—events that Viktor would have been happy to see end with my demise. Events that could have been prevented, had he offered to bring us all back to town with him when he escaped the burning house. “You left
us at the mercy of our enemies, and we survived. Our combined gifts allowed us to locate our enemy and finish her, a task which thus far your organized and regimented hunts have failed at. Our team of weak links saved all of your asses last night.” I look to Daniel again, and something tugs at my chest. I can’t take him down with me. “We couldn’t have done it without Daniel, but he’s not like the rest of us. He’s not a screw-up, or weak, or whatever it is you see when you look at me. I may have fucked up, but he doesn’t deserve to be punished for it.”

  Viktor leans forward. “How selfless of you to take the blame. That is what you’re saying, isn’t it? That if there were… fuck-ups, as you call them, they’re your fault?”

  My mouth goes dry. “I’m saying that every one of us did the best we could with the information and resources we had. And I’m pleased to answer to Miranda for any mistakes I made.”

  The room is silent, the air heavy. Viktor looks from me to Daniel and back again. “That is, of course, up to Miranda. Though I feel the weight of such tasks should fall on shoulders that—”

  “Enough,” Miranda says. Her voice is faint and airy, but her authority is undeniable. She lifts a thin, trembling hand from her lap and rests it on the table. “I’ll deal with Aviva and the old ones.”

  “Very well,” Viktor says without looking at her. “Daniel, you’ll be leaving us for a time.”

  Daniel turns to him. “I assumed I’d be tracking down the Blood Defenders.”

  Viktor folds his hands in front of him. “You will. We’ve already located information about their training grounds. It’s in clan Tempest’s territory, but I’m sure they’ll be happy to have your assistance in destroying whoever remains there.”

  “Of course.” Daniel offers no reaction other than acceptance and obedience. That’s the mask he wears.

  Viktor turns to me, and the chill in his eyes makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. He’s waiting for a reaction. An objection. Daniel and I may have kept the true nature of our feelings for each other a secret, but we’ve never hid our attraction well. The fact that Daniel volunteered to escort me to my new assignment, stayed with me for vacation, and defied orders to keep me and the others safe can’t have gone unnoticed. We’re on thin ice, and I have no doubt Viktor would be happy to find another weapon to use against either of us.

  No vampire with enemies can afford to hold anything—or anyone—too dear.

  I gaze back at Viktor and say nothing. Show nothing. I let my craving for blood creep back to mind in case anyone is prying into my thoughts. I can’t let myself be angry with Viktor for sending Daniel away from Miranda.

  Or from me.

  Miranda doesn’t acknowledge Daniel’s assignment or her loss of support. She turns her attention instead to the other member of our team. “Trent, it’s been some time since you’ve visited our elder council. Do you wish to speak?”

  He nods. “I will be returning to regular involvement in the clan.”

  Raymond looks like he’s going to shit his pants. Viktor just looks pissed.

  Miranda’s eyes flicker from one to the other, and I suspect she’s holding back a smile. “Your objections to the clan system have been long noted, Trent. I suspect there may be some concerns about your loyalty. Have your opinions changed at all?”

  “No,” he says, and Viktor’s eyes narrow. I suspect he’s already calculating this new threat’s weak spots, just as Miranda is looking for advantages. “My objections to our lost freedom have not changed, even after so many years of my own being further restricted. But the wider world and its recent threats to our clan have caught my attention, and it occurs to me that denying the situation as it is will not help anything. I wish to work with you, with the council of elders, to improve matters.”

  “The situation requires no improvement,” Viktor mutters, “save for what we have well under control.”

  “Perhaps,” Miranda says. “Yet it seems to me that for Maelstrom to stand strong, we need someone who can point out our weaknesses.” She gives Trent a hard look. “The system will not change for you. The highest laws apply to all, not just to those who choose to obey.”

  He nods. “I wish only to take my place and use my skills in the service of this clan you’ve created.” I don’t know whether anyone else catches it, but a muscle twitches at the corner of his eye, a momentary crack in his stone mask. “I find myself free to pursue new interests, and crave a purpose of sorts.”

  “You crave power,” Viktor says, one fist clenching against the tabletop. “Don’t pretend otherwise.”

  Trent’s mouth twitches with amusement. “No. I have enough within myself that I have no need to seek it elsewhere. Perhaps you’ll understand that someday, young one.”

  Daniel presses his lips together, holding back a smile.

  “You are of course welcome to rejoin our society,” Miranda says. I can’t say she looks happy, but she’s certainly pleased to have a possible advantage again. “As are any of the others who helped bring down the hunter Helena Slade, provided they can prove they’re willing to either remain hidden or acclimate to the world.”

  Trent bows slightly at the waist. “I will let them know.”

  It’s a nice thought. I doubt Edwin will ever be able to keep out of trouble, though. Maelstrom’s laws won’t stretch to accommodate his eccentricities or his hatred of ignorant humans, no matter how many Blood Defenders he killed. And Genevieve and Hannabelle might prefer a return to a less eventful life.

  I can’t say I relish the thought of staying with them. I have no doubt now that I’m meant for bigger things, even if I don’t see how I can rise in the ranks of this clan.

  I glance at Trent again. Being an outsider might not be the worst thing, as long as I don’t give up my power and let anyone box me in.

  The elders stand. Miranda leans heavily on a cane, and her arm trembles as she finds her balance. I resist shivering at the chill it gives me—not just for the reminder of Helena, but because it’s an outward sign of the damage done to her. The Blood Defenders may not have finished her, but they hurt her. Viktor watches her carefully, brow creased with false concern even as his eyes light up at the sight of her frailty. His dark, heavy power fills the room, agitated and excited as a hound about to be let loose on a hunt.

  Even the strongest among us aren’t safe.

  “Trent and Aviva, you may go,” Miranda says. “The Inferno will re-open later tonight. Our stock is safe, thanks to the tireless efforts of some of our clan members while you were all out destroying the enemy. Bring the others back with you to feed.” She smiles a little, though it looks pained. “Daniel, see them out to the car, but we’ll need you to return immediately.”

  “You leave tonight,” Viktor adds. “We have much to discuss before then.”

  Daniel gives them a sharp nod, and Trent and I follow him out.

  We hurry out of the room and out of the club, and we don’t speak until we’ve left the building. I still feel like the elders are watching me. We’re free for now, we have permission to feed, and it doesn’t look like anyone is going to get executed or even demoted over this. On the surface, all is well. But I can’t shake the feeling that the thin ice we were standing on has broken into a spider-web pattern of cracks under our feet.

  Miranda is hurt. Viktor is stalking her like a lion after a wounded antelope, and has the power to send away those within the clan’s hierarchy who would protect her until she heals. Daniel will be thousands of kilometres away, in another clan’s territory.

  But Miranda has Trent now, who I doubt will allow the elders to bully him even if he’s not one of them.

  And for what it’s worth, she’s got me.

  “I’ll be in the car,” Trent says. “I suspect you two need to talk.” He opens the back door and climbs in, and Viktor’s driver tenses visibly.

  I don’t feel sorry for him.

  Daniel and I walk half a block away from the car and the club, stopping outside the darkened windows of one
of the shops that line the streets of downtown St. John’s. There are people around, but none of them are headed our way. I lean against the cool brick wall and close my eyes.

  “I’ll request you for my team,” Daniel says. “You’ve proven yourself more than capable of hunting these people. If you follow directions and don’t reveal the change in your power, all anyone will remember about your early career is that you brought down rogues and killed Helena Slade. Trent will watch over Miranda until we return.”

  “Daniel, I—”

  “You’re not safe here. Someone could still sense the change in your power.”

  “I know.” I take a long, deep breath. The scent of the harbour hangs heavy in the air. He’s right. The longer I stay here, the more likely it is that someone will see the difference in me. Going to another clan where no one knows me, following Daniel’s lead and finding my footing far away from Miranda’s personal experiment and Viktor’s clear resentment would be far safer, no matter what dangers we’d be facing there. And I’d be facing them with Daniel.

  I open my eyes. He’s watching me, and his eyes are shadowed with worry.

  Pain spreads slowly through my chest, radiating outward from my heart. God, he’s tempting. Not just physically. Daniel is everything I want. I want his touch, his kiss, his confidence in me and his assurances of my potential. I want him to watch over me and tell me that things will be okay, and to have one person around who I can trust. I want the certainty I might find following him on his path, burying my mistakes beneath proper progress, hiding my dangerous little differences, fitting in, becoming great. I want his company. I want us to keep saving each other’s asses. I want him—the one vampire who seems to understand and accept who and what I am—to be there to help me explore the depths of our power, to show me the beauty of the darkness inherent in our natures.

  But he’s not what I need.

  Daniel once told me, in an unguarded moment, that he wished he could keep me for himself, hide me away from danger, screw me until the rafters shook whenever he could return to me. It was a tempting dream at the time, even as he denied it was possible.