Desperate Measures (An Aspen Falls Novel)

by Melissa Pearl

  “No,” he said, shaking his head. “But he was part of the gang unit task force.”

  “And…what happened to him?” She was almost afraid to ask.

  The smile disappeared. “He resigned last year.”

  “Resigned? Why?”

  “You want the official story or the real one?”

  “How about both?”

  “Official story is that he harassed another officer. A woman.”

  Cam nodded. Those kinds of stories were becoming more common, especially as women became more comfortable about speaking up regarding the harassment they’d suffered over the years. She counted herself lucky that nothing had happened to her with the Aspen Falls police department, but she vividly remembered some of the comments she’d received from fellow officers in her first job. They had been demoralizing, and there had been some days that made her question whether or not joining the force was akin to inserting oneself into a ‘good old boys’ club.

  “What’s the real story?” she asked.

  His lips thinned. “Sarge ran him out. Invented a story.”

  “About harassment? How?”

  “Told a female officer to report him.”

  Cam was dumbfounded. “And she did?”

  He nodded.

  “But why?”

  “No idea. Why do people do any of the shitty things they do?”

  Cam was still trying to put the pieces of the story together. “So your sergeant asked this officer to lie about being harassed and the department believed her? Did your friend fight it?”

  “Of course,” Alex said. “But it was his word against the woman’s, and Sarge backed her. Internal Affairs opened an investigation, and they found her story credible. He resigned almost immediately.”

  “So you think your friend knew something he wasn’t supposed to know about,” Cam said. “Or wasn’t willing to go along with something.”

  Alex nodded.

  “What was it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “How do you not know? Didn’t this Travis guy talk to you about it?”

  Alex was quiet for a minute. “The bulk of this went down when I was pretty deep undercover,” he said quietly. “I was living with a couple of the guys from La Gente. We went down to Nogales for a while. I…I couldn’t be there for him.”

  Cam could hear the regret in his voice.

  “So you haven’t talked to him about it?”

  He shook his head.

  She had so many more questions she wanted to ask, but she stopped herself from blurting them out.

  For one, she knew Alex didn’t have much more to tell her, at least not in relation to what had happened with Travis’s harassment charge and subsequent resignation.

  But there was another reason she kept quiet. She didn’t want to arouse his suspicions.

  He’d just given her a clue she could potentially work with, whether he’d intended to or not.

  Alex had given her a name. A name she hadn’t had before.

  A name she might be able to do something with.

  An opportunity to make some headway on figuring out just what to do next.

  And she’d be damned if she was going to waste it.

  28

  Monday, September 10th

  11:45 pm

  A gun was pressed to Alex’s temple.

  Cold, hard.

  He couldn’t see Cam, but he could hear her scream.

  “No,” he shouted, twisting his arms, trying to get away from whoever was holding him.

  But the arms held firm, digging into his flesh, and the barrel of the gun dug into his forehead, almost as if it were drilling into his skin.

  He didn’t care.

  All he wanted was to get to Cam.

  To save her.

  “No!”

  He startled awake.

  It took him a minute to orient himself.

  And then he remembered.

  Where he was.

  Who he was with.

  The arms holding him in his dream belonged to Cam. Those arms were wrapped around his stomach, though, not digging into his arms. And her chest was pushed up against his back, her head tucked close to his shoulder. He could feel her breath on his skin, the steady breathing of someone deep asleep.

  The nightmare dissipated and all he could think of was Cam.

  Cam snuggled against him.

  Desire surged through him and his body immediately responded.

  Shit.

  He needed to create some distance between them. Immediately.

  He tried to disentangle himself from her arms, but the minute he moved, she gripped him tighter.

  “Cam,” he whispered.

  She responded with a whimper and a sigh and latched herself even more firmly to him.

  “Cam,” he repeated, a little louder this time.

  Another sigh.

  He wrapped his fingers around her arm, trying not to notice how soft and warm her skin felt. He lifted her arm and tried to shimmy out from under her. His bruised ribs protested, but he didn’t care. He’d made a promise that he wasn’t going to touch her, that she would be safe in the bed with him. And even though it was her who had initiated contact, it felt like his responsibility to put an end to it.

  Her arm reached for him the minute he broke contact.

  “Don’t,” she whispered.

  “What?”

  “Come back,” she murmured.

  She had to be asleep. Dreaming. That was the only explanation that made sense. Of course, his gut tightened as he wondered who she thought she was talking to. Did she have a boyfriend? He didn’t even know.

  “Go to sleep,” he said softly.

  “Come back,” she repeated. She moved closer to him, so close that his only choice was to come back into physical contact with her or risk falling off the side of the bed.

  “Cam.” He hesitated, then reached out a hand and touched her cheek. “You’re dreaming. Wake up.”

  Her eyes opened. “I’m awake.” Her voice was a whisper.

  Maybe she’d just had a bad dream, too.

  “What…what are you doing?”

  She ran her tongue over her lip. “I don’t know.” But her body stayed pressed against his.

  He swallowed. “I can’t move away from you.”

  “I know.”

  “I mean, I physically can’t move. I’m on the edge of the bed.”

  “I know.” Her hand ran up and down his arm, as soft as a feather.

  He sucked in a breath. Her touch was like an electric shock against his skin. He wanted more. Her hands on his chest, his back…her mouth locked on his…

  She trailed her fingers along his bicep.

  And he couldn’t hold back. Not anymore. Not with her touching him.

  “I want you,” he breathed.

  Her fingers stilled.

  “I want you.” His voice was thick with desire. “And I think you want me, too.”

  She stayed still.

  His body ached for hers. He wanted nothing more than to sink his hands into her hair and drag his mouth across hers and bury himself inside her. To lose himself in her.

  But those weren’t things for him to take.

  They were hers to give.

  “Tell me you want me,” he said huskily.

  Silence.

  Agonizing silence.

  Then, tentatively, she whispered, “I want you.”

  His heart jumped into his throat. He swallowed hard.

  “Show me,” he said. “Show me you want me.”

  Her fingers skimmed his arm again.

  He waited, his body vibrating with desire.

  Slowly, her hand moved from his arm to his chest, her fingers barely grazing his stomach as she slowly made her descent.

  He groaned. “You’re sure? This is what you want?”

  She closed her hand over him just as her mouth found his.

  That was all the answer he needed.

  29

  T
uesday, September 11th

  8:00 am

  Cam awoke with Alex’s arms wrapped around her.

  Her eyes fluttered open and she was instantly, immediately awake.

  Memories made just hours before came rushing back at her, and she felt a flush spread through her body. Not from embarrassment, not from shame.

  No, it was desire. Pure and simple.

  Desire that Alex had ignited the night before.

  Desire that was still running rampant through her.

  Cam shifted slightly, pulling away from Alex’s embrace just enough so she could stretch her limbs without waking him. She arched her back like a cat, relishing the sensation as her muscles loosened.

  She had no regrets about what had happened.

  She probably should. Her rational mind reminded her of all the reasons why sleeping with Alex was a bad idea. Not because he was a bad guy, a criminal—he’d disproved that with his admission of being a cop. But there were other factors to consider. Namely, that this current state of being—them holed up in the guest apartment at her grandma’s assisted living home, wondering what their next move would be, or if there even was one—was temporary, at best. Decisions would have to be made. They couldn’t stay in limbo, trapped in this particular moment forever.

  And Cam was under no illusions that tomorrow or the day after, or even the day after that, would include Alex.

  She swallowed. She didn’t want to think about worst-case scenarios: that Alex might be permanently removed from her life, from this world, at the hands of someone currently pursuing him. But she knew that the other potential outcomes would most likely lead to the same thing.

  He would leave.

  She’d decided last night that she was okay with that. Well, as okay as she could be. That was her head talking, convincing her there would be no alternatives.

  But her heart?

  Her heart had wanted a night with him, a night that acknowledged the past they shared and reflected a taste of what their future might have been if fate had dealt them different hands.

  She wanted one last chance to remember. To be with him.

  And she’d gotten it.

  A shiver ran down her spine. Kissing Alex, touching him, had felt just as natural now as it had all those years ago. It was as if no time at all had passed.

  But a lifetime had gone by. She wasn’t the same person she’d been back in high school. She’d come up with new plans, new dreams—a life that didn’t include Alex.

  And he’d done the same.

  She realized that, despite how much he’d shared with her over the last twenty-four hours, she still knew relatively little about him. He’d given her the overview, how he’d gone from juvenile delinquent to undercover police officer, but there were so many questions left unanswered.

  Cam stole a glance at the man lying next to her. Alex’s eyes were closed, and the steady rise and fall of his chest told her he was still sleeping. Stubble had finally sprouted on his cheeks and chin, but despite this, his features were so soft, he looked almost boyish.

  Heat rushed through her.

  There had been nothing boyish about his demeanor in the middle of the night.

  Regret tried to stake its claim but she vehemently pushed it away. She was not going to feel bad about what had happened. If anything, she would have been more surprised if nothing had come of them spending the night together. They were in the same bed, and the sexual tension between them had slowly been building over the past couple of days. Sleeping with him was a natural progression of how things had trended. A release, pure and simple.

  So why was she still staring at him? Why was her throat a little tight, and why was her heart hiccupping a little as her eyes drifted over him?

  Cam squeezed her eyes shut. She needed to focus on something else.

  She landed on it immediately.

  Travis.

  Their last conversation had ended with him dropping the name of a former police officer who he’d been friends with. Cam knew tracking this guy down might be just what she needed to piece the rest of the case together.

  Alex stirred and Cam’s gaze flew back to him. His leg shifted, coming into contact with hers, and warmth flooded her veins. She tried telling herself that the response was purely physical. It had been ages since she’d had sex, so of course she was reacting this way.

  Her heart whispered something else.

  Her heart urged her to ponder the what-ifs. To look to a future that her mind told her could not exist.

  A future that included Alex in her life.

  She reached out a hand and touched a lock of his hair, smoothing it away from his cheek. She could get used to looking at him. Touching him.

  Stop it, her mind scolded.

  She yanked her hand away, then reached out again, touching a different strand this time.

  What the hell was wrong with her? In that moment, she felt like the embodiment of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

  She took a breath, trying to pull herself together.

  It was just sex. Alex doesn’t mean anything to you anymore. He’s part of your past, not your future.

  The words were on repeat in her head.

  She just needed to make sure her heart got on board with it.

  30

  Tuesday, September 11th

  8:15 am

  Alex opened his eyes to find Cam staring at him.

  He blinked, clearing the cloudiness from his vision. Cam’s hand was on his hair, so soft he almost didn’t feel it. He smiled sleepily as he remembered how her hands had gripped his short dark hair just hours earlier.

  She pulled her hand away, almost as if she could see what he was thinking.

  He reached out a hand, covering hers with his own. “Don’t stop,” he whispered. “I like it when you touch me.”

  She hesitated, then slipped her hand out from under his. Throwing the sheet aside, she swung her legs out and stood up. His eyes traveled the length of her backside, drinking in the perfection of her body.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “Getting dressed.”

  He propped himself up on his elbow. His ribs barely protested as the muscles stretched. It felt like good progress. “Are you going somewhere?”

  She pulled her shirt over her head. “I’m going to go check on Grandma.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Almost eight.”

  “Isn’t that a little early to pay her a visit?”

  Cam pushed one leg into her jeans, then the other. He watched as she tugged them up and over her curves, curves his hands had explored thoroughly just a few hours earlier. His pulse quickened at the memory.

  “She gets up early,” she told him.

  He studied her as she combed her fingers through her long dark hair. It was a tangled, beautiful mess.

  “Is everything okay?” he asked.

  She nodded, but she wouldn’t look at him.

  Which told him she was lying. “About last night—” he began.

  This time, her eyes did meet his. “Last night was fine,” she said, her voice firm.

  He cocked his head. “Just fine?”

  Color tinted her cheeks. “It was more than fine.”

  “So that isn’t why you’re leaving?”

  “I’m just going to check on Grandma. See how her night was.”

  “And then what?” he asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean what happens when you get back?” He shifted into a sitting position. “When you get back from seeing your grandma?”

  He knew where her mind had gone yesterday. She was still looking for solutions, still searching for ways to get information.

  There just weren’t any.

  “I…I don’t know.”

  It wasn’t the answer Alex was expecting. In the short time he’d spent with Cam, she’d always seemed to have a clear idea of how she wanted to move forward. She’d floated several suggestions for ways to deal with what had gone
down in Bentley—all of which he’d shot down—so seeing her admit that she didn’t have a plan caught him a little off guard.

  “You don’t know?”

  She just shrugged. “You don’t want me to talk to Necco. Talking to members of La Gente is pretty much out of the question. You aren’t comfortable approaching any of the officers in your unit. You’re not willing to bring in BCA or the feds.”

  “Because all of those options end badly,” he pointed out.

  “Sure,” she said. She shoved her hands in her jeans pockets. “But so does doing nothing.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “No?” She arched an eyebrow. “If Jess hadn’t shown up yesterday, just what do you think would have happened?”

  He didn’t have a good answer for her.

  Because there wasn’t one.

  “I’m not doing nothing.”

  “That’s a double negative,” she said.

  “Yes, it is,” he agreed. “And a quadruple negative right now would be doing anything with the four options you suggested.”

  “So what? You just plan to sit in this apartment and hide forever?”

  Irritation surged through him.

  No, dammit, that wasn’t his plan. This was temporary. He’d made a poor choice in going to Aspen Falls and involving Cam. It had gone from bad to worse, especially now that members of Groupo 55 had found him. His options were more limited now than before.

  He just needed time to regroup. To think things through. To see if there was something he’d missed.

  But his top priority now was to keep Cam safe.

  And he felt like he’d already failed miserably at that.

  “I’m going to grab coffee while I’m down there,” Cam said. She slid her feet into her shoes. “After I see Grandma. You want some?”

  He didn’t like the idea of her waiting on him. She’d already done more than enough in the caretaking department, thanks to all of his injuries.

  “Why don’t I come with you?” He shifted the sheet off him.

  Her gaze immediately flew to his exposed body. She looked away. “That’s not necessary,” she said quickly, her eyes cast downward. “I don’t know how long I’ll be with Grandma.”