“Not for me,” she interrupted.
He nodded in agreement. Knowing Ali as he had, she would never take the easy way out. “But still, you did give birth and kept Joanie to raise on your own. I owe you a great debt for that, along with my financial support now.”
“Don’t think I’m going to turn down your money.”
He smiled. “I don’t expect you to. I want our daughter to have the best of everything. I already think she has the best mother.”
He got the pleasure of watching Ali blush. “I’ve given it a lot of thought, Ali. Believe me, all I wanted to do when I suggested getting married—”
“That isn’t the answer,” she interrupted again.
He raised a hand. “I know that now. It’s too soon. But at least will you agree to let me spend time with Joanie?”
“Of course,” she said. “I want you two to get to know each other. Joanie needs her father.”
He grinned proudly. “I’m glad. I want to be there for her. So I’ve got another idea.”
Ali frowned.
“I need to have surgery on my leg. Soon. They have me scheduled for this Thursday. Afterward I’ll have to spend another week here, then I’ll be sent home for the long recuperation.”
“I’m sure your dad will like that.”
“I don’t want to go to Dad’s. I want to stay with you and Joanie.”
Ali didn’t know how many more shocks she could handle. Every time she turned around, Jake was throwing something else at her. How could she be under the same roof with this man? “No, that’s impossible.”
“Why? I want to rent your Gran June’s extra room downstairs. I happen to know that it’s vacant now.”
“How did you know about the room?” Since her grandfather’s death, Gran had taken in a few boarders in the past few years.
“Your grandmother came by earlier.”
Ali closed her eyes. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t have Jake Hawkins in her house, be with him every day…every night. “It won’t work.”
“Why, Ali-cat?”
Her head jerked up. “Stop calling me that name.”
He grabbed her by the arm. “Why? Because it brings back memories?”
Jake’s fiery stare threatened to burn away any barriers. She fought to keep that from happening, and pulled away. “We have no memories, Jake. One night you reached out…and I was conveniently there.”
He looked hurt. “There was more, Ali. For one thing, our child was conceived.”
She felt a shiver race through her. No. She couldn’t think about how it had been between them. “I don’t want to bring up the past.” She didn’t want to be reminded that she’d only been a substitute for her sister.
Jake puffed out a long breath. “Fine, but I’m not going to let you keep my daughter from me. If I stay at the house, then I can ease into her life. This change isn’t going to be easy for Joanie, either. I want her to know me as her father. Can’t you understand that, Ali?”
Ali closed her eyes. Oh, God. Jake was right. Ali would have given anything to know her own father better. She couldn’t deny this chance for her daughter. She turned to Jake. “Have you talked this over with Gran June?”
He nodded. “But she wouldn’t agree to anything unless you gave the okay. Please, Ali. I’ll stay out of your way as much as possible. I just want time to get to know Joanie.”
He couldn’t know how much that statement hurt. There had always been someone else. First Darcie. Now Joanie. She wanted to be first in somebody’s life. In Jake’s life. But she had to stop thinking of herself, of her deepest yearnings, and think of her baby.
She was insane for agreeing to this, but she knew from experience that Jake Hawkins was a hard man to resist. “Okay, but there are going to be rules.”
He nodded. “Hey, I’m an old army man. I can handle rules.”
Ali knew without a doubt that he was going to break them all, along with her heart.
Chapter Five
On Thursday morning, Ali took the day off work to be at the hospital for Jake’s surgery. She told herself her concern only stemmed from the fact that the man was her daughter’s father. But Ali knew, deep down, that it was more. If things didn’t go well, she wanted to be there for him. And for Cliff, too.
Across the waiting area, Cliff Hawkins leaned heavily on his cane as he gazed out the window. Ali was worried about the man. He seemed so lost, so lonely. She knew he hadn’t been getting enough sleep. The dark circles under his eyes proved that. And over the past week, she’d practically had to drag him out of Jake’s room and down to the cafeteria for something to eat, insisting he needed to keep up his strength.
In all the time Ali had spent with Cliff talking when Jake was in a coma, the older Hawkins hadn’t seemed anything like the terrible father Jake had resented most of his life. Ali found a concerned parent who loved his son. Cliff had taken Jake’s accident hard, as expected, but the man acted personally responsible for what happened.
Jake and Cliff’s disagreements had been public knowledge for years. There weren’t many secrets in Webster, especially for the prominent Hawkins family.
It was ironic that Jake and his father seemed to have everything—except happiness. Ever since Carol Hawkins had died when Jake was thirteen, all he and his father had managed to do was argue.
Ali knew it had been hard for Jake to grow up without a mother. When they met in high school, he had seemed confident and popular, but as their friendship grew closer over the years, she’d discovered it was a cover.
Jake had tried to get his father’s attention. He’d been a 4.0 student and the star quarterback who led the Webster football team to a conference title. Cliff might have gone to all the games, but he hadn’t seemed that interested in the sport, boasting only about how his son would join him in the family business.
Jake had other plans. When he went off to college, he enlisted in the ROTC program. Then he’d joined the army for the next six years. Both Darcie and Cliff wanted Jake to get a business degree and come back to Webster so he could take over the plant. That had started the terrible argument between Jake and Darcie just before their wedding day, when Darcie had run off.
Sadness gripped Ali’s chest. If Darcie hadn’t been able to persuade Jake to stay in Webster, what made her think she could? Jake loved Joanie, but Ali refused to use her daughter to hold a man who would never love her.
Thirty minutes later, Dr. Hostler approached the waiting area. Dressed in his green scrubs, the forty-year-old doctor stripped the cap off his head, revealing the thick blond hair beneath.
Cliff went to him and Ali followed. “Doctor, how did it go?”
The doctor smiled. “Good, all things considered. It was rough going, but I knew that before I went in. Setting the leg was relatively easy. The tricky part was repairing the damage around the ankle area.” He frowned. “We had to put a pin in the talus bone, then repair considerable ligament and muscle damage. If Jake heals properly, he’ll regain close to normal use in his leg.”
“Close doesn’t cut it. My son is a captain in the army, Doctor. He can’t be a cripple.”
Ali was surprised at Cliff’s outburst, but Dr. Hostler didn’t even blink. “I understand how you feel, Mr. Hawkins, but much of Jake’s recovery depends on him. I’ve seen patients go both ways. Your son is strong, healthy—and very determined. I know it’s rough, but this is a wait-and-see proposition. He still has a lot of physical therapy to undergo.”
“What about his military career?”
Hostler raised an eyebrow. “Before surgery, I warned Jake not to expect miracles. It’s too soon to tell.”
The doctor looked at Ali and smiled. “I promised Jake that you would be in recovery when he wakes up.” Hostler checked his watch. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to call my service. I’ll stop by the desk and tell the nurse about Jake’s request.” With that, he turned and walked off.
Ali’s heart raced with excitement, then she saw the sadness on Cliff�
��s face. “You go in first.”
“No, Ali,” Cliff began. “Jake wants you there. I’ll visit him later. Besides, I need to get back to the office.”
Ali hugged the man, mainly because he looked as if he needed one. She wanted to hit Jake over the head for this stunt. He had to have known his father would be waiting. “Why don’t you come to the house for dinner?” she asked. “You can spend some time with Joanie. But brace yourself—your granddaughter’s table manners leave a lot to be desired.”
The older man’s eyes lit up. “I’d love to. You’re sure it’s not too much trouble?”
“No, of course not. I know for a fact that Gran June is cooking chicken and noodles. She always makes plenty. Say about five-thirty?”
“Thank you, Ali.” His smile faded. “Will you tell Jake I’ll be back tonight?”
“I’m going to tell him more than that.”
“No,” Cliff said sternly. “Jake and I have to work this problem out ourselves.” He finally smiled and reached for her hand. “Now, you go in and see my son. He needs you.”
Ali nodded and moved down the hall. When she got to intensive care, a nurse led her inside to see Jake. Looking down at his still body, her heart began to pound erratically. The memory of seeing Jake in a coma haunted her.
The nurse adjusted the IV. “He should be coming out of the anesthesia soon. You can talk to him.”
Ali stood next to the bed and leaned close. “Jake, wake up. It’s me, Ali.”
Within seconds, his eyelids began to flutter. They opened, then closed again. “Kiss.”
“What?”
“Need…a kiss.”
Ali felt the heat rise to her face. He wanted her to kiss him.
“P-please.”
She glanced up at the blond nurse, who was smiling. “He wouldn’t have to ask me twice,” she murmured, then left the room.
Once alone, Ali didn’t hesitate. She leaned forward and placed her mouth against his. A warm tingle swiftly moved through her body as his lips worked their special magic. Remembering that the man just had surgery, Ali started to pull away. He slid a hand to the back of her head just holding her close, with a light touch, but for Ali it was enough to prolong the kiss. She gave in to the sensations. His mouth opened over hers, tasting and caressing her until she felt light-headed. Finally he released her.
Ali pulled back and opened her eyes to find Jake’s dark-eyed gaze on her.
“I’ve wanted to do that…for a long time,” he whispered.
She cleared her throat to find her voice. “You’re awfully energetic.”
His fingers stroked her cheek. “You’re so soft, Ali-cat.”
Ali took his hand in hers. His touch was too unsettling. “And you’re full of it, Hawk.”
He grinned and Ali’s breath caught in her chest.
“Missed you,” he whispered.
It was the medication, Ali told herself. “I’ve been here all the time.”
“No, before that. After that night we were together. Sorry… I hurt you.”
She stiffened. “Jake, don’t apologize anymore.”
“No. Not sorry we made love. Sorry I left you afterward. Please forgive me.” He blinked. “I’ll make it up to you…Joanie. Promise.” Again he was losing the fight as his eyes began to close. He fought a few seconds longer before giving in to the drugs.
Ali watched his peaceful face as tears welled in her eyes. Had Jake meant what he said, or was it just the anesthesia?
That evening in the Pierce kitchen, Cliff laid his napkin on the table. “June, that was the best chicken and noodles I’ve ever had,” he announced.
“Thanks, Cliff. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten an outside opinion on my cooking skills.” June smiled at him.
Joanie let out a cry. She wanted down from her high chair. Ali quickly got up and began to clean off her face. “Okay, Joanie, hold on a minute.”
Cliff pointed to the child. “By the looks of my granddaughter, I’d say that she’s crazy about your cooking, too.”
“This child eats anything,” Ali said as she cleaned Joanie’s hands. “We just have to work on her table manners.”
Everyone laughed. Cliff had seemed to enjoy the meal with Joanie, mess and all. He’d accepted his granddaughter and never questioned Ali after that day at the hospital.
Tonight, when he’d appeared at the front door, he carried several toys for Joanie. He also let Ali know that Joanie had been placed in his will, and that a trust fund had been set up for her college education.
Ali was grateful to Cliff for securing her daughter’s future, but it was all so overwhelming. There was more coming, too. Cliff had said to expect packages from an exclusive Minneapolis children’s store in a few days. She’d let Cliff have his fun. But she didn’t want her daughter thinking she could have anything by simply asking Grandpa.
Ali took her daughter from the high chair. “Looks like it’s bath time.”
Joanie squealed with delight.
“Water is another of Joanie’s passions.” Ali started out of the kitchen when the phone rang. She reached for it. “Hello.”
“Hello, sis.” Her twin’s voice came over the line clearly.
Ali froze. “Darcie.”
“I was hoping I would catch everyone at dinner. How are you?”
“Fine. We’re all fine.” Ali shifted her daughter to her other hip. Then she glanced at Gran June for help.
“Sorry I haven’t called lately,” Darcie said, then sighed dramatically. “It’s just that I’ve been so busy. I can’t believe it, Ali, my boss assigned me to one of our biggest accounts. I’m working on a new ad campaign for Nina Quinn. Can you believe it? Nina Quinn. Remember when we would die to be able to afford her clothes?”
“That’s wonderful, Darcie.” Ali forced her enthusiasm as Joanie reached for the phone, making chatter.
“It that little Joanie I hear?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Oh, I can’t wait to see her—hold her. Let her get to know Aunt Darcie. The pictures you sent are precious with her dark eyes and curly hair. She must look like her daddy.”
Ali swallowed her panic and quickly changed the subject. “Are you coming home?”
“I wish,” Darcie said. “But this campaign is a killer. It’s also my big chance, and I can’t blow it. I know you don’t understand, Ali, but I have to put in a lot of hours to move up the corporate ladder. I’m just beginning my career, and it takes hard work.”
Suddenly irritated, Ali didn’t want to hear any more about her sister’s martyrdom. “Darcie, I’m happy for you. And since I’m just a mother who needs to give her baby a bath, I’ll let you talk to Gran June.” Ali handed the phone to her grandmother, then walked out.
Once upstairs, Ali stripped her daughter’s clothes off and put her into the tub. This was usually the time of day she loved most. Time she got to spend with Joanie, a relaxing time where they got to play. But tonight, Darcie’s call brought back all the old memories. And the guilt of what she’d done to her sister. But there was hurt, too. Darcie hadn’t come home once to see her or her niece.
Now Ali didn’t want her here. Everything was so messed up. With Jake home now, it was only going to get worse.
“Would you mind if I came in?”
Ali swung around to find Cliff. “Sure. Joanie likes company. Just be careful—she splashes.”
Cliff used his cane to maneuver across the room and took a seat next to the old claw-footed tub. Joanie grinned up at her grandfather, then smacked her hands against the water, splashing water all over her mother. Ali wiped her eyes as the baby and Cliff both began to laugh.
“Don’t encourage her,” Ali told Cliff as she began to wash her daughter. Joanie wanted to play longer, but Ali wasn’t in the mood tonight. Grabbing a towel, she dried off the child, laid her down on the rug, put on a diaper, then helped her into warm pajamas. Joanie sat on the floor contentedly playing with one of her toys.
“You make it look so
easy,” Cliff said.
“Sometimes it’s a real wrestling match.”
“Ali, I came up here because I saw how upset you were about Darcie’s phone call.”
Ali sighed. “It’s just that I never told Darcie about the baby. I mean, she knows I had a child, of course. She just doesn’t know that Jake is Joanie’s father. I made up a story about the baby’s father being a guy from college. When we were younger, we were so close. We talked about everything. Now…it’s a different story.”
Ali could still remember the nights when their mother had left her and Darcie alone in the apartment. Two frightened five-year-old girls curled up in bed, trying to act brave. They’d comfort each other and pretend they weren’t scared.
“I panic at the thought of Darcie coming home,” Ali said softly.
“Your sister chose her life. She’s the one who left Jake at the church.”
“But you don’t understand, Cliff. I remember how much Jake loved Darcie—he loved her for years.” Ali shook her head. “I shouldn’t have gone after him that night.”
Deep in her heart, Ali knew she would never regret that night with Jake because of her daughter. But she also knew Darcie would never forgive her. Even though Darcie had thrown Jake away, hadn’t wanted him, she was territorial. Darcie would never in a million years want Ali to have him.
Ali picked up Joanie. “I better get this one to bed.”
Cliff stood, too. “Yes, and we need to get to the hospital.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go.” She walked into the hall and headed for the nursery.
“Ali, you have to.”
She turned on the dresser light in the baby’s room and picked up the bottle of milk her grandmother had left for Joanie. Settling in the rocking chair, Ali cuddled her daughter on her lap as Joanie put the bottle in her mouth.
“Maybe it’s not such a good idea for Jake to stay here,” she said as guilt engulfed her. “But I won’t stop him from seeing Joanie whenever he wants.”
Cliff walked over and stood in front of her. “You listen to me, Ali Pierce. This little one needs both her parents—you and her father. Believe me, I know. If I could change anything, I would try to be the father Jake needed. I should have tried harder, listened to my son more and gotten help when his mother’s drinking problem began.” He glanced away, pain etching his face. “But we can’t change the past. We have to move on.” He turned back to her. “You can’t let Darcie’s phone call deprive Joanie of her father.”
Baby, Our Baby! Page 7
