Kael

by Lori Wilde

  “Well, listen, I gotta go. Got two cowboys ridin’ this afternoon, but neither one is as good as you were.”

  As good as you were.

  The words echoed in Kael’s ears. Words people said to has-beens.

  “Good luck with the beekeeping. Maybe you can send me a gallon of honey for Christmas.” Chuckling, Randy headed off through the crowd.

  Kael pulled the brim of his cowboy hat lower over his eyes and pushed aside Randy’s derision. Think of Daisy, he told himself. And Travis. He knew they were worth the sacrifice. All Randy Howard had to show for his personal life was three ex-wives and two grown kids that wouldn’t even speak to him.

  Buying the refreshments, Kael headed back to the stands, the uneasy feeling heavy against his spine.

  AFTER THE RODEO, LOADED with souvenirs, they headed for Joe’s party. While Kael drove the few miles out of town, Travis chattered nonstop in the back seat of the truck. Daisy glanced at her husband. He’d been strangely quiet ever since returning from the concession stand.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked him.

  “Huh?” Kael jerked his head around to stare at her. “What?”

  Daisy’s lip trembled. It was just as she’d suspected. The lure of the rodeo had tightened its grip on him. Still, it wasn’t an issue they could avoid. She had to know the truth. Could Kael really give it up?

  “I saw the way you were watching those bull riders. You wanted to be out there, didn’t you?”

  “Please, Daisy, let’s not get into this now.” He sighed. “We’re almost at Joe’s.”

  She clamped her lips together in a tight line and folded her arms across her chest. Tears were dangerously close to slipping down her cheeks, but she’d be darned if she’d let Kael know exactly how upset she was.

  He reached over to pat her knee, and she closed her eyes.

  I will not cry; I will not cry; I will not cry.

  Kael pulled into the driveway lined with vehicles and killed the engine. Immediately, guests poured from the house, Joe Kelly in the lead.

  “What’s going on?” Kael asked, climbing out of the truck.

  “Surprise!” everyone shouted in unison.

  “It’s your retirement party, buddy.” Joe jabbed him playfully on the arm. “We’re glad to have you home for good.”

  Kael cast a glance back over his shoulder at Daisy who sat rigid in the front seat. “Hang on a minute.” He raised his hand. Determined, he squared his shoulders and walked around to the passenger side of the pickup toward her.

  Daisy watched him come, his brows drawn into a frown, his limp slowing him down not one whit. Her heart throbbed like crazy; he looked like a man on a mission.

  He wrenched open the door. “Are you coming inside?”

  His eyes met hers, and despite the pain welling up inside her, Daisy knew she wanted to be by his side more than any place on the face of the earth.

  “My friends are throwing me a retirement party. As in ‘you’re never gonna ride again, Kael.’ Understand? I’d be honored if you’d share this moment with me, Daisy.”

  He held out his hand, and she took it. How could she not?

  Tamping back all her doubts and fears, Daisy allowed him to lead her up the driveway, Travis scurrying along behind them.

  Joe and the rest of the guests ushered them inside the rambling ranch-style home. Joe thanked Kael profusely for a freezer he’d bought for Kelly’s Bar. That touched Daisy, but then, Kael had always been generous with those he cared about.

  Joe’s wife, Pam, greeted Daisy, and she managed to smile and mumble a reply. Big parties made her nervous.

  The smell of barbecue wafted on the breeze along with the squeals and laughter of children at play. The screen door slammed repeatedly as people flowed in and out of the house.

  Overwhelmed by the buzz of activity, Daisy nestled into the curve of Kael’s body. She wasn’t accustomed to many people bunched together, and she suppressed the urge to run right back to the truck.

  Everyone was all talking at once, whizzing a million questions at Kael. His face glowed as he fielded their inquiries concerning his knee, his retirement, and his plans for the future.

  Daisy’s heart dropped. He loves this, she thought. The attention, the admiration, the adulation. Even if he had exorcised the bull riding demons, how could a man like Kael ever be content with an ordinary life? She was foolish and selfish to expect it of him.

  He was a people person, extroverted and self-confident in groups large or small. She was an introvert, shy and uncertain, unless she was dealing with folks one-on-one. They were so different. A myriad of contrasts lay between them. Black and white, day and night, bitter and sweet. Why in heaven’s name had she ever thought this marriage would work?

  But the one thing that gave her hope, the one gesture that had her reaching down inside herself to hold on to the tenuous happiness she’d found, was the fact that no matter where his attention lay, no matter who he was talking to, he kept his arm tucked firmly around her waist.

  “Come on into the den.” Joe ushered Kael, Daisy, and Travis into the crowded family room. “We’ve got a video montage of your rodeo career.”

  “What?” Kael looked both stunned and pleased, his gaze fixed on the big screen television mounted on the wall.

  His image was splayed across the screen. Kael was decked out in his riding gear, chaps, gloves, hat, boots, and clinging to the back of a bucking Brahma, one hand flailing high in the air, the other gloved hand tucked under the rope.

  Daisy sneaked a glance at her husband and saw he was mesmerized.

  “Sit,” Joe commanded, pushing Kael down onto a leather sofa, “and enjoy.”

  Swallowing hard, Daisy stepped back against the paneled wall and willed herself to fade into the background. Kael took Travis on his knee and, leaning his head down, carefully explained everything unfolding on-screen to his son.

  I should never have married him, Daisy thought. It’s like caging a wild bird. Misery washed through her.

  Thirty minutes passed. The show concluded, and thankfully Joe hadn’t included the clip of Kael’s last ride when he’d gotten stomped by the Texas Tornado. Daisy didn’t think she could have tolerated seeing that play out.

  Travis was beaming up at his father like he was a god sent straight from the heavens. People clapped Kael on the back, telling him that he was a credit to Rascal. Stunned, Daisy realized he didn’t need her, had never needed her, and that had been the root of their problem all along. From the time she was a teenager, she had always been needed by someone. First by her parents to help run the farm, then by Rose and Aunt Peavy and later by Travis. The simple truth of the matter was that Kael had never needed anyone, and he wasn’t likely to start now.

  Daisy raised a hand to her forehead. She felt hot and breathless.

  Joe offered Kael a beer, and Joe’s wife came around with a platter of hors d’oeuvres. Kael got swallowed up in the crowd, and Daisy found herself pushed farther and farther away from him until she was standing in the kitchen.

  “Mom?”

  She looked down to see Travis standing in front of her. “Yes, son?”

  “Can I go outside and see the baby calves with the other kids?”

  Instinct told her to say no, to protect him as she always had, but Kael had taught her a valuable lesson. Travis needed to be around children his own age. She couldn’t keep him tied to her apron strings forever.

  “Go ahead, sweetie.” She patted Travis on the back, then watched him slip through the tangle of adults and out the back door.

  “Here you are.”

  From her position in the corner of the kitchen where she’d retreated from the noisy throng, Daisy lifted her chin and met Kael’s gaze. Love, clear and certain, swam in his eyes. He smiled, and she managed to return it.

  “I wondered where you’d gotten to.”

  “Don’t worry about me,” she said. “Go on and have fun with your friends.”

  “Daisy, nothing is any fu
n without you by my side.” His tone was serious.

  “Do you mean that, Kael? Truly?”

  “May I be struck dead if I’m lying.”

  She sucked in her breath, unable to wrench her gaze from his.

  Kael held out his arm. “Come on.”

  She placed her hand in his and allowed him to lead her into the den where Joe was calling for a toast.

  “Here’s to the guest of honor,” Joe said, perching himself on the hearth and raising his glass. “One heck of a bull rider. Good luck in your new life, Kael!”

  There was a hearty round of cheers and the clinking of glasses. “Speech!” someone hollered.

  “Yeah,” someone else chimed in.

  There were whistles and catcalls egging him on.

  It didn’t take much to convince him. Glowing with good-natured sheepishness, Kael took Joe’s place by the mantel and thanked everyone for the wonderful party.

  Standing there, watching her husband and his adoring fans, sent a jolt of pride flashing through her. It was easy to love Kael, with his good looks and his agreeable ways. He could have his pick of the women assembled in this room. And yet he’d chosen her. Why? She wasn’t

  the easiest person to get along with.

  Every doubt and fear she’d ever had about their relationship bubbled to the surface.

  “And I just want you folks to know, that although a chapter is closing in my life, a whole new book is waiting to be written with my wife, Daisy, and my son, Travis.”

  Kael looked over at her, love shining brightly in his eyes.

  But Daisy couldn’t bear to gaze upon him. He might believe he wanted to settle down, but she knew better. Kael should have that knee surgery and go back to bull riding. It was what he loved most. It defined him. Without that wild spirit, who was he? Hadn’t that footloose wildness always been the thing that attracted her to him, even as it kept them apart?

  Through Kael she lived vicariously, enjoying the adventures and the adulation secondhand without having to put herself at risk. He’d been right to leave her seven years ago. There was no way the tortoise and the hare could successfully make a go of it.

  Ducking her head, Daisy turned away.

  From outside the raised window, a sudden scream rent the air.

  “It’s one of the kids!” Pam Kelly said.

  In seconds, a half-dozen adults pulled open the back door and tumbled into the yard, Daisy and Kael right behind them.

  “What’s going on?” she asked, fear pulsing through her.

  Kael gripped her hand. “Where’s Travis?”

  “Criminey,” a man said, pointing, “the kids are in the bull pen!”

  A gaggle of children ran to the house, screaming and hollering. Joe’s wife grabbed her daughter. “What’s the matter? What happened?”

  “That little red-haired boy—” the girl gasped, clutching her chest. “He tried to ride Ferdinand. He said he was gonna be a bull rider like his daddy.”

  Daisy’s heart stopped. A ringing sound started in her ears and rose to a terrifying crescendo. No. It couldn’t be true. Not her boy. Travis, her shy, quiet child trying to ride a bull?

  Kael dropped her hand and took off running. Daisy tried to follow, but her legs refused to move. She stood helpless, eyes fixed on Kael as he ran to the bull pen.

  Minutes later he returned to the house, Travis cradled against his chest, a ring of spectators trailing after him. He was limping heavily, and tears slid helplessly down his cheeks.

  Pam Kelly draped an arm around Daisy’s shoulder, but she felt too numb to notice.

  “Daisy...” Kael croaked, anguish on his face.

  Travis rested in his arm, rag-doll limp. His face was the color of chalk, and his head lolled in the crook of Kael’s elbow.

  She seemed to float above her body, detached from what was going on around her. People were speaking in hushed whispers, gathering their own children to them.

  “He climbed on the bull.” Kael’s voice trembled. “He was pretending he was me. Ferdinand shook him off like a flea. He hit his head. There’s a big knot. He’s unconscious.”

  Kael’s shoulders shook violently as he sank to his knees, Travis still clutched tightly in his arms.

  “Oh, God,” Kael cried. “I caused this. I’m responsible.”

  “I called an ambulance,” Joe said.

  “Here’s his hat, ma’am.” Joe’s son, Scott, a tow-haired boy only a few years older than Travis, extended the straw cowboy hat to Daisy.

  Numbly, she took the hat and fingered the scratchy straw, then mumbled, “Thank you.”

  Scott nodded solemnly and stepped aside.

  “Daddy loves you, Travis,” Kael whispered into the boy’s hair. He was alone on his own island of grief. “I’m sorry, so sorry.”

  Calmly, Daisy sank to her knees beside Kael. She reached out and traced her fingers over Travis’ face. “Honey,” she whispered, “it’s Mama. Wake up now.”

  She willed him to open his eyes, to wrap those slender little arms around her and giggle, but he did not stir.

  “If only I hadn’t taken him to the rodeo. If only I hadn’t let him watch those videos. If only I hadn’t told him he could be a bull rider someday.” Kael moaned.

  “Travis,” Daisy said. “Stop teasing us. You’ve got to open your eyes.”

  “Daisy.” Kael met her stare at last, the regret on his face too much to bear. “Travis is unconscious.”

  “No,” she denied. “He’s not. He’s only fooling around.” She took the boy’s arm and shook it. “Travis, stop this right now, you hear me?”

  “Don’t, Daisy, please,” Kael begged.

  God, no. Not a coma. He’s just a little boy. Old memories rose up to slap Daisy. She remembered the state trooper standing on the front porch, his hat in his hands, his head bowed as he gave her and Rose the news that their parents had been killed in an automobile accident

  on the Interstate between Rascal and San Antonio transporting honey to a candy factory. She recalled the frantic phone call from New Orleans that had come in the middle of the night. It was Rose’s boyfriend of the week. The man said he’d come home to find her unresponsive on the bedroom floor, an empty pill bottle and whiskey beside her.

  Daisy clenched her hands, her nails biting into her palms. Not again. She couldn’t bear to lose another loved one. Not Travis. Not this young. Not this way.

  “Daisy, say something.”

  “Kael,” she cried, agony rushing through her like a flooded river fleeing its banks. “What have you done to our son?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  THE STARK WHITE HOSPITAL corridor stretched endlessly between the waiting room and the emergency department, where the paramedics had taken Travis.

  Overhead the fluorescent lights hummed and flickered.

  Patients and their families sat like flour sacks on the cheap plastic benches, sighing, groaning, and waiting their turn with long-suffering acceptance. Occasionally, the intercom crackled. A staticky voice paged some hospital personnel to one area or the other. Housekeeping ordered to clean a spill in the cafeteria. Respiratory therapy needed to give a treatment in ICU.

  The nursing supervisor should pick up an outside call on line two.

  Kael noted all these things in a dull, detached manner. A sharp, antiseptic stench permeated the air, goaded his brain and caused him to recall that night, not so long ago, he’d been wheeled into a similar hospital, bleeding and alone.

  Absentmindedly, he reached down and rubbed his aching knee. He knew what Travis was going through in there, and he almost choked on the empathy.

  His son was hurt, and it was all his fault.

  Kael bowed his head and sank his face in his hands. He’d encouraged Travis’ interest in bull riding. Secretly, he’d been thrilled to see the influence of his genes surfacing in the boy. Egged on by macho egotism, he’d puffed up over the changes in his child. Under his sway, Travis had gone from hesitant and introverted like Daisy to enthusiastic an
d adventuresome like himself.

  Only, those changes brought trouble.

  Trouble he’d never anticipated.

  Having a kid was scarier than he’d ever realized. When he’d discovered he had a son, his thoughts centered on all the fun they would have together. He’d never considered the flip side.

  Just as he had with everything else in life, Kael had leaped in with both feet, never looking to see how secure the ground was beneath him.

  Daisy was right. He was irresponsible, and that irresponsibility might cost his son his life.

  A violent shudder ran through him. He should have stayed away from Rascal. Daisy and Travis had done fine without him. Now he had ruined everybody’s life by coercing Daisy into marrying him.

  Daisy.

  At the thought of his wife, deep emotions prodded his chest. It hurt his heart to know what he’d done to her.

  Right now, she was in with Travis. The doctor had said one parent in the room at a time. Kael insisted she go first.

  Joe Kelly and the rest of the well-wishers had departed from the hospital long ago, murmuring words of sympathy and expressions of concern. Kael’s parents brought them an extra vehicle, so Daisy wouldn’t get stranded if Kael needed to go check on the farm or get food. His folks stayed for hours until Kael urged them to go home and get some rest.

  He watched them go with a mix of relief and despair. He was glad not to have to keep up a brave front, but on the other hand, he didn’t relish the idea of being alone.

  “Mr. Carmody?”

  Kael looked up.

  A young nurse in her early twenties stood before him, a red stethoscope around her neck, a back support belt encircling her waist, and a clipboard tucked in her arm.

  Kael got to his feet and caught his breath. He searched the nurse’s face for some indication of the news. Her eyes were guarded, her expression somber. Fear squeezed his gut. “Yes?”

  She awarded him a faint smile, and he relaxed instantly, warm relief swimming through him.

  “Your son just woke up. He seems to be fine, but to be on the safe side, the doctor wants to hold him overnight for observation. We’ll take him up to a room in a few minutes, and you can see him there.”