The Sunflower Cottage Breakfast Club

by Lynsey James

  ‘Emily, you know this doesn’t change anything,’ said Dad. ‘I’ve loved you since the day you were born and nothing will get in the way of that.’

  I nodded, feeling tears welling up inside me. ‘I know, I know… God, I can’t bloody believe this!’

  My knees gave way and I collapsed back onto my chair, throwing my head into my hands. ‘Why didn’t you tell me before? You’ve kept this from me my whole life; didn’t you think I had a right to know who I really am?’

  Mum reached over and put a hand on top of mine. ‘You already know who you are; you’re Emily Louise Reed and, like your dad said, nothing’s going to change that. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew who’d be the best father to you and it certainly wasn’t some man who lived nearly two hundred miles away! It was this man sitting right here. I wanted to give you the best possible life I could and that meant cutting Derek out completely. He’d have been no good to you, sweetheart, believe me.’

  I drew my hand away. ‘Dad’s been amazing and he’ll always be my real dad, but I still had a right to know about this Derek guy. It should’ve been up to me whether to include him in my life, instead of you making the decision for me.’

  Mum stiffened and pursed her lips. ‘Everything you need to know about that man is in those letters. I may have told him it was best to stay away, but he chose to listen. He could’ve ignored all that and come to see you anyway, but he didn’t. He stayed in Luna Bay to protect the perfect life he had there. That’s all you need to know about him, Emily.’

  I got up from my seat again and grabbed the box, shaking a few letters loose onto the dining table. ‘Well, why don’t you let me make my own mind up about that, eh? Just for a change.’

  Before anything else could be said, I stormed out of the flat, taking my box of secrets with me.

  *

  Going through the letters wasn’t an easy task. As far as I could tell, Derek had written one every year on my birthday since I was born, then stopped suddenly a few years ago. By the time the sun rose over Glasgow, I’d read most of them and learnt a great deal about the man I now knew to be my biological father. Mum had been right; traces of him permeated each and every one. I knew he loved the village he lived in, played for the local cricket team and ran a café with his wife, Diane. Yet there was still so much I didn’t know, things that words on a page would never be able to tell me. So, for as much as I’d learnt about Derek Simpson, I still didn’t feel like I knew him at all.

  I slumped into work ten minutes late, feeling like a zombie and clutching my cup of takeaway coffee for dear life. Frankie’s eyes widened with shock when she saw me collapse into my chair.

  ‘God, I knew Reed family dinners were eventful but this is something else! What happened? Did your dad break out the good champagne or something?’ She chuckled good-naturedly but stopped when she saw my scowl. ‘Or not…’

  ‘You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.’ I heaved a weary sigh and opened my emails to see if I had any leads to follow up that day. As I tried to look at the screen, the words on it swam in front of me. All I could think about was last night’s revelation.

  Frankie swung her chair round to face me, her keen eyes burning into the side of my head. ‘Try me.’

  I looked at her, wondering whether to unload my burden onto her. A problem shared was a problem halved, after all, but Frankie had a certain flair for the dramatic that didn’t help in some situations.

  In the end, I caved. ‘Last night, my parents chose to tell me that my dad isn’t my biological dad.’

  A curious mixture of expressions crossed my best friend’s face, ranging from shock to disbelief and finally settling on amusement. She let out a loud snort and burst into a fit of giggles.

  ‘It’s not bloody funny!’

  ‘Oh come on, Em! It can’t be true, can it? Your parents are the most solid and stable people I know, plus they’ve been together forever. No way is Simon Reed not your dad!’

  I swallowed hard, trying not to let tears spill out. ‘Well, he isn’t. According to my mum, some bloke called Derek from Yorkshire’s my biological dad.’

  Frankie’s giggly reverie stopped as soon as she saw my face. ‘Oh my God, you’re serious, aren’t you? Emily, I’m so sorry! I… I thought you were messing around.’

  She rolled her chair over to mine and pulled me in for a comforting hug. I sank into her shoulder, not knowing what else to do except cry.

  ‘As if losing that promotion to Tara bloody Murray wasn’t enough; now I find out my dad isn’t really my dad!’ I sobbed, the words barely coherent.

  The sound of Paul’s office door opening interrupted my sobbing. I craned my neck to see none other than Tara Murray sashaying out into the main office, blowing a cheeky kiss to our boss before heading back to her desk. On her way there, she stopped and turned to face me.

  ‘Emily, I meant to say I’m so sorry you didn’t get the promotion.’ Her head was cocked to one side, as if she was talking to a child instead of someone the same age as her. ‘Paul was just talking me through it all; you know, my additional responsibilities, how much travel there’s going to be and stuff like that. I feel awful that you didn’t get it, really I do.’

  Her syrupy-sweet voice clashed dramatically with the smugness in her face. I could see right through her; she was basking in the glory of her new-found promotion and rubbing my face in it.

  ‘Oh, I’m sure you won’t lose too much sleep over it,’ I replied, my expression like curdled milk. ‘Anyway, I’m sure you’ve got loads of work to do, so don’t let me keep you.’

  She flashed me a final smile, then walked back to her desk. She threw a look towards Paul’s office over her shoulder. It lingered just a little too long and the realisation hit me like a ten-ton truck.

  ‘Oh God, I’ve been so bloody stupid!’ I let out a hollow laugh and threw my head into my hands.

  ‘What do you mean?’ asked Frankie.

  ‘Ask yourself this: why would Paul promote someone with crap sales figures, who’s hardly generated any potential leads, and who clearly isn’t capable of doing the job? I thought her blowing him a kiss just then was strange, but did you see that look she just did? They’re obviously involved with each other! That’ll be why Tara got promoted over me.’

  I let out a frustrated sigh and banged my fists on the desk. ‘It’s just one thing after another, isn’t it?’

  Frankie rubbed my back. ‘Maybe you should take the rest of the day off? Go home and talk to your mum about this Derek bloke; you must have loads of questions to ask her.’

  ‘No,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘No, I’m staying here.’

  I turned my full attention to the screen in front of me, losing myself in the work I had to do that day. Everything would be OK as long as I kept Mum’s revelation firmly shut out. If I didn’t think about it, it would slowly fade away.

  *

  Of course, it didn’t.

  In fact, the more I tried not to think about Mum’s revelation, the more it occupied my mind. By lunchtime, it had permeated my every thought and even my questions had questions. I desperately craved answers, but had no idea where to turn for them. Every kernel of an idea ended up at a dead end; I was glad to leave the office on my lunch hour.

  ‘What am I going to do, Frankie?’ I asked as we sat in our favourite sushi restaurant on Queen Street. ‘I mean, how could they keep something like this from me my whole bloody life? Didn’t they think I had a right to know who my biological father was? It’s not as if I’d have ditched my dad and run off to find this Derek bloke, is it? Nothing’s ever going to change the fact that Simon Reed is the man who’s been there for every big moment in my life and brought me up as his own. I just… I don’t know. I feel as if my whole life up to this point has been one big lie.’

  I grabbed a California roll and stuffed it into my mouth, hoping the taste would somehow distract me from my ever-growing mountain of problems.

  Frankie, cool and collected as ever, raised one
of her perfectly defined eyebrows as she ate her spicy tuna roll. ‘The way I see it, Em, there’s only one thing you can do: go to Luna Bay. You’re due loads of leave since you practically live in the office, and I’m sure Paul wouldn’t mind. While you’re there, you could meet up with Derek and finally get the answers you’re looking for.’

  I grimaced. ‘I dunno, Frankie. It’s in the arse-end of nowhere, I wouldn’t be able to do any work and there won’t be a decent coffee shop or sushi restaurant for miles! You know me; if I have to do without my California rolls and double espressos for too long, I go mad.’

  She cocked her head to one side, much like Tara had done earlier but without the condescension. ‘OK, so you’d have to do without some creature comforts for a few weeks. Wouldn’t it be worth it to finally meet Derek and find out all about him? You said it yourself: you feel like your whole life up till last night has been a lie. If you go to Luna Bay and spend some time with him, you might find that things start to make a bit more sense. Did you never feel like something was different before last night?’

  I shook my head, the salty tang of tears stinging the back of my throat. ‘Nope, never. I think if I had, this would’ve been a bit easier to deal with. I would’ve thought “so that’s why I’ve always felt a bit out of place” and felt, I dunno, relieved or something. But I don’t because I never for a second suspected that my dad wasn’t my dad. He was… he is… in every sense of the word apart from stupid, sodding DNA. It must’ve torn him apart to bring up another man’s kid, but he never showed it.’

  Frankie reached over and put a hand over mine. ‘See this right here? This is why you should go to Luna Bay. If you don’t, you’ll drive yourself mad trying to fill in the gaps and end up upsetting yourself. What do you reckon? Think you could stand missing a few art exhibitions and sushi lunches to find out more about this guy?’

  I paused for a moment to think, taking another California roll as I mulled things over. ‘You know what? You’re absolutely right!’

  Chapter 4

  Operation Find Derek came together surprisingly quickly. It started with me marching into Paul’s office just after lunchtime.

  ‘I want to talk about booking some leave,’ I said, taking a seat on his rickety visitor’s chair. ‘I… I’ve had a bit of a family crisis, you see, and I was wondering if I could use up all my leave to sort it out.’

  I looked up at him as he fiddled with a packet of sherbet, trying to mine the remainder out from the creases in the paper. His face twisted into expressions showing varying degrees of frustration before he gave up and shoved the whole lot in the bin.

  ‘Sorry, what did you say?’

  I gritted my teeth and repeated myself, putting special emphasis on the ‘family emergency’ part.

  ‘So what do you say? I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate, and we aren’t too busy at the moment.’

  It felt odd to not use my usual no-nonsense, ball-busting approach. I felt vulnerable and exposed; there was no bravado or bluster to hide behind. I was just a girl sitting in front of her boss, asking for time off to go and chase after her long-lost biological father.

  He chewed over it for a moment, umming and ahhing and sucking air in through his teeth.

  ‘I don’t know, Emily. You’re one of my top development managers and I can’t afford to have you away for too long. What’s this family emergency you need to sort out?’

  I felt a furious blush creep into my cheeks. ‘I’d rather not go into specifics, but I’m planning to visit a little village in Yorkshire called Luna Bay for a while.’

  The name sparked Paul’s interest and he began to rummage through a large pile of papers on his desk. Eventually, he found what he was looking for and flashed me a triumphant grin.

  ‘How about you make it a working holiday? We’ve got this little B&B down there we’d like to get our hands on: a place called Sunflower Cottage. Why don’t you book in there, try and talk the old biddy who owns it into selling to us, and you can do whatever you need to do at the same time? It’d put you in a really good position for another promotion. Plus, if it makes you feel any better, she sent Tara packing when she went down there a few months ago.’

  I rolled my eyes. ‘Paul, I’m asking to take annual leave to sort something out, not take on more work! Why don’t you send someone else to do it. I probably won’t have the time to work while I’m there.’

  ‘You’ll be in the area anyway,’ said Paul, ‘so it doesn’t make sense to send two people when I can just send one. Think about it; you’ve missed out on one promotion, but land this place and you’ll be in with a shout for another.’

  He raised his eyebrows in a come-on-you-know-you-want-to gesture and slid the piece of paper across to me. It was the particulars for Sunflower Cottage. From what I could tell, it was one of those little seaside B&Bs that relied on its flock of regulars rather than passing trade. Attached to the particulars was a blurry picture of the exterior. No pictures of the rooms had been included; I imagined it being stuck in a time warp. It was probably all moth-eaten carpets and net curtains.

  ‘Why do we want this?’ I asked, screwing my nose up in confusion and giving Paul back the particulars. ‘We aim at the high-end luxury market; this looks more like a retirement home!’

  Paul gave a chuckle that sounded vaguely nervous and smiled. ‘Going for the grey pound, I think the boss said! Big market these days, apparently. So what do you say? I’ll grant your annual leave request now if you agree to get this in our portfolio.’

  I picked up the particulars again, deep in thought. ‘Go on then. How hard can it be to land one little bed and breakfast?’

  Paul gave a faint grin and looked up at me. ‘Oh, you have no idea.’

  *

  My trip to Luna Bay was booked and confirmed later that day; I’d be leaving the following morning for a month. Trips to potential clients didn’t usually last that long, but Paul had said the owner was ‘particularly resistant’ so I’d probably need more time to close the deal. Frankie put on her usual theatrics and said I couldn’t possibly leave because there would be nobody to help her fix her terrible life choices.

  ‘I’ll miss ya terribly, honey, I do declare!’ she’d said while pretending to faint like a Southern belle.

  She wasn’t the only one who had an opinion on my leaving. My mum had an absolute meltdown when she heard the news and demanded a last-minute ‘inspirational pep talk’. Given that the last one had ended with me finding out I had a long-lost secret dad, I was more than a little worried when she turned up at my flat later that night.

  ‘Are you sure you want to have that wall painted mauve?’ she asked as she stepped into the living room. ‘This isn’t the biggest flat in the world; you can’t afford to use dark colours in here. Makes the space feel small and cramped.’

  ‘It’s fine as it is. What’s tonight’s pep talk about, anyway? Let me guess: we’re going to have a Princess Diaries moment where you tell me I’m actually the heir to the throne of a country I haven’t heard of.’ I chucked a blouse into my suitcase and turned to face her, arms folded and a wry smile on my face.

  ‘Nice,’ she snapped. ‘Very bloody helpful, Emily.’

  ‘Oh come on, I was kidding!’

  She stormed over to the sofa and shot me a dark sideways glance. ‘I know you think this daft crusade to Luna Bay is going to give you all the answers you want, but it won’t. Derek won’t take kindly to you disrupting his perfect life there and you’ll be no further forward. The letters stopped a few years ago, so he couldn’t even be bothered keeping them up any longer. Why don’t you just stay here and get on with things? You’ll be much happier that way.’

  I heaved a sigh and joined her on the sofa. ‘I know you want to protect me, but I’m twenty-five. I’d really like to meet him, Mum; I want to find out more about him, not just base my opinion on some letters. He might tell me to sod off and, if he does, that’s fine. But I still want to try. I’m not trying to replace you or Dad; I just
want to see what Derek’s like, that’s all. So… Do you have an address or anything for him?’

  I could see her face soften, but her lips remained pursed. ‘Like I said, I haven’t heard from him for a few years. He might’ve moved away for all I know, although I doubt it. He loved Luna Bay when I knew him. All I can tell you is that he and his wife, Diane, had a café by the sea called the Moonlight Café. Maybe you could start there.’

  She snuck a glance round at me, but her eyes quickly darted away when I looked back at her. That was her subtle way of trying to communicate with me when she was angry.

  ‘Thanks, I appreciate it.’ I tried for a smile, but it wasn’t reciprocated. ‘I mean it, by the way; nobody will ever replace you and Dad. Not now, not ever, and especially not my long-lost biological dad. God, it sounds like a bad soap-opera plot when I say it like that!’

  Mum got up and tucked a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. ‘I don’t suppose there’s anything I can do to convince you not to go?’

  I shook my head. ‘Afraid not. Plus, it’s a working holiday now as well; Paul had the idea to get me to close a deal on a B&B while I’m there. Some place called Sunflower Cottage.’

  A wistful smile crossed her face. ‘Oh yeah, I remember Sunflower Cottage. It was a gorgeous little place, right by the sea…’ She drifted off for a moment, lost in some dreamy reverie. ‘Anyway, be safe while you’re there and don’t run off with any surfer boys! And phone me when you’re there! Oh, and try to wear something a bit more flattering, darling.’

  She gave me a quick kiss, mumbled some excuses and headed for the door. As I went back to my packing, I thought about the task that lay in front of me. I had to close a deal on a seaside B&B with a ‘particularly resistant’ owner, find out about my biological dad and not run off with any surfers in the process.