Accidental HusbandA Secret Baby Romance

by Nikki Chase

  I’m about to just come out and ask when Luke’s mother clears her throat.

  “The two of us are going to have to leave early, I’m afraid. We, uh . . . we forgot to feed the cats, and it’ll need to be done before we fly.”

  Forgot to feed your cats? You’re rich enough that you probably have a full-time cat feeder.

  “But we haven’t even had the main course yet,” I say. “Is it really so urgent?”

  They stand and gather their things.

  “They’re very needy cats, unfortunately.” Luke’s mom fixes her gaze on her Birkin as she slings it onto her arm, avoiding eye contact. “Besides, I think the two of you kids have some things you need to discuss. Have a lovely evening. We’ll see you again soon.”

  A quick kiss and they’re gone, hurrying out like a stink bomb just exploded.

  What the hell is going on?

  As soon as they’re out of earshot, Luke rounds on me. Hot anger burns in his eyes, his voice low, constrained. “When exactly were you planning on telling me?”

  He knows.

  Realization sinks like a rock to the pit of my stomach. For a moment, I consider feigning ignorance but that’s obviously not the right thing to do now—it’d only make him madder.

  I guess I can’t be too surprised. He was going to find out eventually, what with me puking my guts up every few minutes.

  “This is why you’ve been acting so weird on me,” he accuses, “and disappearing to the bathroom all the time. I thought you just had a small bladder or something, but nope, I’m just a goddamn idiot.”

  Every word out of his mouth seems to fan the flames bigger, hotter.

  “Luke,” I say, my heart pounding, “please, don’t be too angry. I was trying to find the best time to tell you, I swear. It’s just . . . it never seemed like the right time. You were always stressed with work, or . . .” I trail off, utterly aware of how completely lame my excuses sound.

  What can I say? That I was scared you would get rid of me and steal my baby away? It sounds silly now.

  “I was going to tell you this evening, after the meal,” I eventually whisper. “I swear. You have to believe me. It’s the truth.”

  “But why? Why wait so long?” He looks nonplussed, like he just can’t understand. “Things have been going so well for us, haven’t they? I thought you were finally forgetting about this stupid annulment stuff, that you were finally ready to give us a chance.”

  “I was! I am!”

  “So why keep the baby a secret from me? Why keep my baby a secret from me?”

  His baby. Those words, in that voice, stirs up all the emotions that have been warring in my chest. But the battle wages beneath the surface.

  Outwardly, I’m silent. I just don’t have an answer for him that won’t make things worse.

  “All I can think of is that you were never planning on staying married to me in the first place.” Luke’s voice is cracking. “You were just going to disappear and never let me be a part of my kid’s life. Am I right?”

  “No, Luke, I swear,” I cry. “I would never do that. It’s not that, I promise you.”

  “So what is it, then?” he pleads. “I need an answer here, Tess. If there’s a simple explanation, you can just tell me right now.”

  He’s waiting, but I can’t come up with the right words. After all, he’s at least partially right . . . but it sounds so ugly when he puts it like that.

  In my mind, I was just protecting myself, protecting, my baby . . . I just didn’t think about the fact that it’s his baby too.

  I shake my head, tears rolling wetly down my cheeks. I want to shrink from the shame.

  I didn’t want him to find out this way. I guess his parents probably worked it out and told him, not knowing that he wasn’t aware. If only I had the chance to tell him on my own . . . but it’s too late for that now.

  I screwed up and I’m paying the price now.

  Luke’s still sitting there, staring at me, waiting for an answer that won’t come. His phone chimes on the table, and with one last, sad look at me, he scoops it up and stalks off.

  What do I do now? Should I leave? Does he even want to talk to me anymore?

  Before I can make a decision, he’s back. He looks like he’s somehow in an even worse mood. He throws a handful of bills down on the table and turns to leave.

  “Luke,” I call out, “what’s going on?”

  He looks like he’s going to leave without saying anything but turns around at the last second.

  “Work emergency,” he growls. “I’m leaving. Enjoy the rest of the meal.”

  And then he’s gone, leaving me sitting there all alone.

  In a moment of perfect timing, the waiter suddenly appears, carrying a tray with all four main courses sitting on it. He coughs awkwardly as he places the food down on the table, not meeting my eyes, then scurries away.

  I want the ground to swallow me up. I can feel the eyes of everyone nearby on me, wondering exactly what I must have done to chase off all three of my dinner companions.

  I want to go after Luke and try to make things right, but the arrival of the food sets off my nausea again, and I’m forced to duck back into the restrooms once more.

  I sit in a stall, sobbing.

  This is it. It’s all over now, and it’s all my stupid fault. Why didn’t I just tell him as soon as I found out? Why did I let myself get so caught up in his past? It wasn’t fair on him.

  Burying my head in my hands, I let the tears flow.

  God, I hate myself.

  Luke

  As I’m driving in my car, I try my best to suppress the rage that’s rising within me.

  Why did she keep the secret from me?

  All sorts of different ideas go through my mind, threatening to make my head spin. Did she think I would shy away from my paternal responsibilities? Was she planning on taking the baby away from me?

  Now that the initial shock at the news has faded, I’m starting to adjust to the fact that I’m going to be a father. I hadn’t planned on it, but I feel like I’m ready.

  Tessa doesn’t truly know me if she thinks I’ll just abandon her and my child. My anger grows at the idea and my hands start to shake, knuckles white as I grip the steering wheel tighter and tighter.

  Everything seems a little surreal and dream-like as I drive, the bright lights of fast-food restaurants whizzing past. I struggle to concentrate on the road.

  It’s a little late, not so busy, but really I shouldn’t be driving in my current state. I continue on anyway, feeling the need to get away, to somehow control my anger.

  As my rage subsides slightly, guilt pangs in my chest over having left Tessa at the restaurant on her own. Maybe I should turn the car around, at least see her back home . . .

  Nah. I’m just too angry to see her again, and it wouldn’t be good for either of us if I did.

  She’s a big girl; she can look after herself. She’ll be able to get a cab home.

  I shake my head in disbelief at the whole situation, trying to focus on the road ahead rather than the anger seething within me.

  My mind goes back to earlier in the evening, the meal, the way Tessa had been acting. And the way my Mom knew straight away she was pregnant.

  I felt like a fool for not realizing. It seemed so obvious when my Mom had explained everything, but I simply hadn’t noticed or even thought to ask what was going on.

  I curse myself, shamed and embarrassment rising up. How long was she planning on keeping this from me? Was she ever going to tell me? Or was she just going to disappear one day, until I get a letter through from a lawyer, filing for annulment and custody rights?

  I try to tell myself that perhaps Tessa’s reasons hadn’t been so malicious, and that perhaps she was simply scared of telling me, or thought I would be angry and demand she get rid of the baby.

  But rage has me trapped in its grips, and I can’t see through the red mist enough to even think about forgiveness.

  I take a
deep breath as I head to my office, marching past the executive meeting rooms and the boardroom. Something catches my eye as I pass the boardroom, and I see Brock standing before a trio of men, pointing his finger at them in an accusatory fashion.

  The three men look down sheepishly at the paperwork in from of them. One of the guys, by far the youngest of the three, shuffles uncomfortably from side to side in his chair.

  This doesn’t look good. Something’s got to be seriously wrong if Brock is riled up like that.

  Brock is leaning forward, his expression angry, gesturing with his hand and pointing at the three men in turn as he speaks. He makes a sweeping gesture, then jerks his thumb over his shoulder, before pointing back at the documents laid out in front on him.

  As if sensing my presence, he turns to see me standing by the door, and a wry smile spreads on his face. He gestures for me to join him.

  I walk in, and the room is deathly silent. The three men, one of whom I recognize as a key member of my legal team, all try and look anywhere but at me.

  “What’s going on?” I ask quietly, voice terse with pent up anger. “And make it quick. This is the last thing I need right now.”

  “You tell him,” Brock says, pointing to the senior lawyer, the guy who’d called me when I was at the restaurant.

  The lawyer clears his throat and looks up at me, wincing, before starting to talk. “I’ve been reviewing the legal documents and contracts related to the dissolution and sale of parts of the business, as per the requirements of acquisition set out by the competition regulator, to prevent monopolization, and . . .”

  Brock cuts him off with an angry gesture, pointing his finger back towards me. “Tell him straight! You fucked up!” he yells, voice booming loud and reverberating from the walls and big conference table.

  I cross my arms and frown. “Don’t fucking bullshit me. What sort of shit have you gotten me in?” I ask, barely controlling the anger I feel rising like ice from the pit of my stomach.

  “We . . . one our key, junior lawyers . . .” the middle guy starts, looking to the young guy on his left with a glare that could cut glass, “. . . made a basic error, which was then overlooked by the team that checked over the whole thing. To put in bluntly, the competition regulator is so far up my ass right now, I feel like a puppet.”

  I stand there, stunned, as the information washes over me. Silence fills the boardroom and the lawyers watch me expectantly, three bodies frozen by tension. The young guy’s face is flushed red.

  I take a step forward and point a finger at the most senior of the three. “First of all, you fucked up. Don’t bring me this bullshit, blaming one of your most junior guys and shaming him in front of me. He shouldn’t even fucking be here.”

  I start to shake as anger wells up, unbound, within me.

  I point at the junior guy and jerk my thumb behind my shoulder. “You, fuck off. Consider this a verbal warning, but the fault lies mainly with your manager, so don’t take this too hard.”

  He leaves in a hurry, nodding his thanks and rushing from the room. I turn back to the other two, arms crossed across my chest.

  “What the fuck do I pay you for? What sort of half-assed bullshit is this anyway? Missing out a key clause . . . I should fire you both, right now.”

  My voice starts out low and cold, but rises in volume as I speak, scarcely able to believe what is happening.

  Brock gestures for me to calm down, but a barely there smile curves his lips up. I get the feeling he’s enjoying this. Bastard.

  “Calm down, Luke,” Brock coaxes. “This isn’t The Apprentice. Okay, they fucked up. It happens. It’s done now. But we can fix this, right?”

  The senior lawyer nods stiffly, clearing his throat again. “We can fix this. We . . . I need to come clean to the regulator, explain what has happened. Chances are, they’ll give us a stay of execution . . . say a day, two if we’re lucky, to get the documents amended and resubmitted.”

  He pauses to take a breath, looking like he’s recovered a little from the ear-bashing he’d just received. “I’ve got a friend there, very senior, a guy if I’ve been working with over the process, and he owes me more than a favor or two. Time to remind him.”

  “I don’t care if you’re friends with the Queen of fucking England. If you don’t fix this mess, it's your ass.”

  Brock laughs at my words, and the lawyer’s eyes fly wide-open as I speak.

  “No one leaves this room until we fix this,” I order. “Got it? Get in who you need, and what you need. I’m coming back in ten minutes, and if this room is not a hive of activity, with people working like busy little bees and looking suitably stressed, I’m going to rain an ungodly storm of shit down upon you. I’m going to kick you out of this building so hard, you won’t be able to sit down for a fucking week.”

  The guys nod feverishly, one of them frantically pulling a cell phone from his pocket, the other scrabbling up the documents into a pile and taking out a pen to start making notes. Brock looks on, staring down at the pair, his expression cold and business-like.

  I leave the room with an angry sigh, slamming the door behind me.

  Marching down the hallway, I know my anger has mainly stemmed from what had happened with Tessa rather than the legal oversight. The guys had just been in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

  But it felt good to let the anger out, and I figured they deserved it nonetheless.

  In my office, I settle down into my plush, leather chair, checking my watch, deciding I’ll be kind and give the guys five extra minutes—fifteen minutes to start getting this mess fixed.

  See, I’m a nice guy, really.

  Tessa

  I walk into my apartment and collapse onto the couch. It’s late and I’m exhausted. The meal was an absolute, unmitigated disaster . . . but really, it’s all my own fault.

  Why, oh why, didn’t I just tell him earlier? Why did I keep putting it off, again and again?

  If it was me in his shoes, would I be pissed off? Hell yes, I would, probably more than he had been. A secret like that? You just don’t keep that from someone, especially not your husband.

  Because he is—my husband, that is. Whether or not I like it, whether or not that’ll change—and given tonight’s events, I fully expect the marriage to be annulled—we’re married. I can’t just pretend that we’re not, no matter how drunk I was.

  I made that decision, and I have to live with the consequences. He didn’t deserve to be kept in the dark..

  I pull out my cellphone and punch in Luke’s number, my heart hammering so hard my fingers are shaking.

  If I can just get him alone, and calm, and explain everything to him, really come clean and let it all out, maybe he’ll understand where I was coming from. Or maybe he won’t, and he’ll get even angrier, but I have to at least try.

  The call rings and rings, but Luke doesn’t pick up.

  This is probably the tenth or fifteenth try now, so I can only assume that he’s ignoring me.

  Have I lost him forever?

  Isn’t that what I freaking wanted anyway?

  Holy shit, everything is so complicated. Why is everything so fucked up? Why can’t life just be simple?

  I lie there in the dark, unable to muster up the strength to get up and switch the lights on but not knowing what to do with myself. I’m exhausted, but I won’t be able to sleep. I’m hungry because I was too embarrassed to stay in the restaurant after the incident, but I don’t have anything to eat.

  So, I just stare at the yellow stains on my popcorn ceiling. And feel sorry for myself.

  I need to speak with someone—someone who doesn’t hate my guts.

  As I pick up my phone to call Claire, I notice an unread email I missed.

  I open it and read.

  This is the office of Davis and Davis Attorney at Law. Your marriage annulment paperwork has been delivered to Mr. Luke Alder. Once he signs the paperwork and returns it to us, we can begin the annulment process. Thank you and h
ave a nice day.

  The email was sent this afternoon, and my blood runs cold. Of all the days for that paperwork to finally turn up, he’s going to see it tonight.

  I call up Claire with trembling fingers, barely holding it together.

  “Hey there Mrs. Alder. How’s married life treating you?” she asks chirpily.

  “Claire, I’ve messed it all up—everything.” I burst into tears as the story comes tumbling out of my mouth. “He found out I was pregnant tonight, but in the worst possible way, and now he thinks I’ve been deliberately hiding it from him, and to make things even worse, I got an email from the lawyer and the paperwork has finally been delivered to him.”

  “Sweetie, slow down just a little here. Take a few deep breaths, and let’s go through this, okay?” Claire pauses for a moment and gives me time to compose myself a little. When she speaks, her voice is gentle. “First off, isn’t that what you wanted in the first place? The marriage to get cancelled, I mean. Why are you so upset about it? You got what you wanted.”

  “Well . . . yeah, kind of,” I sob, “but I didn’t want him to find out like this. I wanted it to be different, not for him to hate my guts. Now he despises me, and he knows about the baby. He’s got the annulment paperwork and he’s probably getting his lawyer to review it right now and . . .”

  “Tessa, babe, just stop,” Claire interrupts. “Stop, okay? This isn’t helping anything at all. So do you or don’t you want to annul the marriage? I’m a little confused here.”

  I put my head in my hands, my butt resting heavily on the couch. “I . . . I don’t know. Things have been going . . . kind of well between us. He’s not who I thought he was, Claire. He’s kind, he’s funny, he’ll probably make a great Dad. I’ve sort of been having second thoughts the more I get to know him. But it’s too late now. He’ll never take me back.”

  “Bullshit,” Claire immediately counters. “Tessa, he’s crazy about you. Despite everything, despite you telling him you want to annul the marriage, he’s never stopped trying to change your mind. What you’re going to do, is you’re going to lay it all out for him. Tell him exactly how you feel, exactly what happened. Come clean, even if he’s not going to like some of the things you’ll tell him. One-hundred percent honesty, and you can still save this thing.”