Beyond the Shadow of War

by Diane Moody

  It was odd to find so many men crowded around the Fort. A dozen others would join them for the three-day trip home.

  “Looks like this might finally be the day, McClain,” Mancini said, greeting him with a handshake.

  “It’s about time. Think we’ll make it to Wales?”

  “We will if I have anything to say about it. We’re second in line, so hopefully we can blow outta here.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  Danny scanned the skies one last time before tossing his duffel in and pulling himself up into the aircraft. After running through the preliminary checklist with Mancini, he waited with growing impatience for the flare signaling a go. When it arced from the control tower, he gave his pilot a thumbs up. Mancini returned the gesture with a broad smile and flipped the switch on his radio.

  “Gentlemen?” He paused for effect, tossing Danny a wink. “What do you say we go home?”

  Their raucous cheers filled the Fort, muffled only when the engines coughed to life. Danny thought he’d never been more thankful to hear the roar of those four mighty engines and feel their rumble. Flying second, it was only a matter of moments before they taxied down the length of the tarmac, made the final turn, and with another round of hoots and hollers, took flight.

  When the cheering ebbed and they continued their ascent, the radio crackled to life.

  “Tower to O Sole Mio, tower to O Sole Mio, come in please.”

  “This is O Sole Mio. What can I do for you?”

  “I’m sorry, sir, but we need you to turn back to base. We just received a weather update of a nasty storm that just gathered in your flight path, so you’ll need to bring her back to base.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Danny cried.

  “Tower to O Sole Mio. Do you copy?”

  Mancini flashed Danny another smile as he flipped the switch on and off rapidly. “What … you say? … breaking up. Must … a short or … I can’t‌—‌”

  “Tower to‌—‌”

  With another wink, Mancini flipped the switch off. “Well, that’s a real shame, isn’t it?”

  Danny smiled. “It certainly is, Lieutenant. But I’m sure we’ll make the best of it.”

  “Copy that, Lieutenant. Let’s go home!”

  Part II

  13

  7 July 1945

  Chicago, Illinois

  Dear Anya,

  I finally made it back to Chicago yesterday, and I’m missing you so much I can hardly function. It sure feels a lot longer than ten days since I last saw you, honey. I’ll try to put a call through at some point, but for now I hope a letter will do. Strange, isn’t it? You and I writing letters to each other again?

  I thought we’d never get home with the weather dogging us all the way. We made it to Wales that first day only to get stuck there for five days! Can you believe it? The base didn’t have enough housing for all the crews, so we had to sleep inside our Fort. Twenty of us! “Miserable” doesn’t even begin to describe it. We couldn’t even sack out beneath our Fort because of the driving rain. Then we took off for Iceland on Friday and got held up there for another three days. More driving rains with visibility almost zero. You’ve never seen so many cranky soldiers. Didn’t help that the sun never set the entire time we were there. I never knew how much that can mess with your mind.

  On Sunday afternoon, a bunch of us hitched a ride into Reykjavik. I have to admit it was really beautiful, even though all we wanted to do was go home. On Tuesday, we finally flew to Greenland, then made it to Bradley Field near Hartford, Connecticut the next day. It seemed a fitting homecoming as it was the 4th of July – America’s birthday!

  They put us on a troop train from there to Rockford, Illinois. Took two days, but at least it was more comfortable than the cockpit of a B-17. Rockford is only a couple hours northeast of Chicago. We had to turn in all our military gear there, and after doing so, I turned around and there were Mom and Dad! I was so shocked to see them! Mom couldn’t stop hugging me and crying – “happy tears” as she calls them. Even Dad seemed glad to see me and actually gave me a hug. You have no idea how much that meant to me.

  Since I have a thirty-day leave, they were able to drive me home. It was so great to see Joey and Millie, Anya. I’ve never been around someone who’s pregnant, and all I can say is that must be one big baby she’s carrying! Could be any day now, so they’re real excited. Joey’s walking without a cane now and manages just fine. By the look of him, you’d never know he’d been so severely injured at Pearl.

  Funny, the things you appreciate after being gone so long. The house never looked so good, though I doubt it’s changed at all since I left. The aroma of Mom’s pot roast in the oven made my mouth water the minute we walked in the door. And you should’ve seen Sophie‌—‌she came flying at me, her tail wagging so hard I thought it might wag right off. I was actually surprised she remembered me since I’ve been gone so long. I can’t wait for you to meet her.

  We had a steady stream of visitors all afternoon and into the evening. My Aunt Lena brought one of her famous peach pies. Boy, was that a treat. I asked her to make one for you when you come. Most of the folks were from the neighborhood and church; all welcoming me home and wanting to know all about my beautiful bride. Your ears were surely burning because I couldn’t stop talking about you. Millie told me she and Mom want to host a reception for us when you come. Apparently, that’s a tradition when a couple is married out of town‌—‌or out of country, in our case.

  My first night home I slept for almost ten hours. In fact, I only woke up because Sophie was standing on my chest, needing to go out. It was nice having her curled up against me again while I slept, but I sure wished it was you instead. I wonder how the three of us will sleep together. I’ve grown so accustomed to sleeping with you in my arms … the scent of your hair, the rise and fall of your chest as you sleep … well, I better stop right there, if you know what I mean.

  I hope and pray everything is going all right there with you. How’s the job at the pub working out? Don’t let any of those Yanks or locals give you a hard time, okay? I gave Charlie and Patrick my permission to punch the lights out of any guy paying too much attention to you. Ha ha.

  Charlie also promised to keep checking on your status at Major Samford’s office. Let me know when you hear anything. Who knows, maybe even now you’re reading this letter as you board one of those war bride ships. I sure hope so!

  Anya, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and just so you know, you’re never far from my thoughts. Only every minute of every day. I miss you so much, sweetheart. Write me soon, okay?

  Love,

  Danny

  On his third day home, Danny accepted Joey’s invitation to spend some time with him at the theater. His mother promised Joey she’d watch over Millie, who was quite miserable these days, and said she’d call if Millie had any problems. They climbed into Joey’s car, and as his brother backed out into the alley, Danny slung his arm across the top of the front seat.

  “So what’s it like, now that you’re about to be a dad?”

  “It’s really strange, to be honest. I almost feel like I’m going into this completely blind, for lack of a better word.”

  “I bet.”

  “It’s all such unknown territory, y’know? Why do you suppose men are never told much about a woman’s pregnancy?” he asked with a chuckle. “From the moment we found out, Millie’s been such a natural at it. Whereas I, on the other hand, feel like a bystander who’s mostly just in the way. Shouldn’t there be classes to teach you how to be a parent? Bringing a child into the world is a big deal, but it’s like we’re expected to just wing it.”

  Danny gave his brother’s shoulder a pat. “Oh, I wouldn’t be too worried. People have been having babies for thousands of years. You’ll figure it out.”

  Joey gave him a quick glance. “Is that so? I’ll be sure to remind you of that sage advice when you’re about to have your first child.”
r />   Something quaked in the vicinity of his heart at the thought. “Whoa. I see your point.”

  “The good news is, since we’re still living at home, Mom’s always there to help. I’ve had a couple of heart-to-heart talks with her over the past couple of months.”

  “About what?”

  Joey smiled, “I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough for yourself once Anya gets here. But Mom helped me understand why women can be a little … testy when they get to the third trimester.”

  “Trimester?”

  Joey laughed. “Wow, you really have a lot to learn, baby brother. See, the nine months of pregnancy are divided into trimesters‌—‌three months each. By the time they get to the third trimester, the baby starts growing at a more rapid rate and moving around a lot more. I’ve gotta say, I love when Millie grabs my hand and puts it on her belly so I can feel the little guy kick.” He shook his head with a crazy grin. “It’s … I don’t even know how to describe how amazing it is.”

  “Little guy? How do you know it’s a boy?”

  Joey smiled. “Well, I don’t, of course. Just a habit, I guess. From the start, I’ve thought it was a boy, and Millie assumes it’s a girl, so we’ll see. Anyway, once he‌—‌or she‌—‌started gaining all that weight, the pressure has been pretty intense on Millie. She’s so uncomfortable. She keeps saying she feels like a beached whale. Especially at night. It’s hard for her to get comfortable, so she tosses and turns all night. Even gets leg cramps. Sometimes she’ll bolt right up in bed from one of those.”

  “Really? I had no idea.”

  “And then there’s the irritability. Never saw it coming, I can tell you that much.”

  “Millie? Irritable? She seems like herself to me.”

  “Well, that’s because she’s Millie and never wants to be a bother to anyone. But behind closed doors? It’s a whole other story.”

  Danny looked out the window at the houses rushing by. “You’re right. No one ever tells you this stuff. Anya’s had such a rough time these past few years, I’d sure hate to make her go through all that.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Joey looked at him like he’d sprouted a third eye. “I wouldn’t trade it for the world. And neither would Millie. Mom keeps saying that once the baby comes, you forget all this other stuff. Otherwise, no one would have more than one, y’know?”

  Danny chuckled. “Good point.”

  “Never mind me, I’m probably exaggerating. The thing is, Millie’s still a doll, but it’s such a stark contrast to see her so uneasy and always fanning herself and lugging herself around. But I’m telling you, she’s still the greatest. I never would’ve made it through all my recovery without her. And I’m not just talking about the physical wounds. I read an article that said most of the guys who survived Pearl came home with a lot of junk to work through, so it’s not just me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Joey tapped his temple. “Stuff messed up here. Even more, the emotional scars. I’m still in touch with some of the guys I knew on Pearl, and I see lots of others at the VA when I go for my checkups. So many of them are really messed up. Makes me realize how blessed I’ve been to have Millie helping me through all of it. Mom too, of course.”

  “And what about Dad?” Danny asked as they pulled into the parking lot behind the theater. “How’s he been since I’ve been gone? He doesn’t seem as crabby as he used to be.”

  Joey stopped the car and turned off the ignition. “He’s better, I’d say. Still not the best dad on the planet, but I can see some changes, mostly for the better.”

  As they headed to the back door, Danny asked, “Do you ever wonder what kind of dad you’ll be?”

  “You mean, am I worried I’ll be a jerk dad like he was most of the time?”

  Danny laughed. “Well, yes, to put it bluntly.”

  Joey unlocked the door and opened it. “Yeah, I started wondering about that the day Millie told me she was pregnant. But when I talked about it with her, she told me something really wise. She said we can become whoever we want to become. I don’t have to follow Dad’s footsteps, and neither do you. And if you stop and think about it, he’s given us a lifelong example of how not to father. So any time he starts to aggravate me or pick on me, I just make a mental note to do the complete opposite when my little guy comes along.”

  “Good idea.”

  As his brother flipped on the lights, Danny looked around. “The place looks good, Joey.” He inhaled deeply and let out a long sigh. “Before I left, I was so sick of the smell of popcorn, I thought I’d hate the stuff for the rest of my life.” He breathed in again. “Well, I’m here to tell you I was sorely wrong. When Anya and I went to see a movie in London, all it took was one whiff, and I was suddenly homesick. Had to have some.”

  “What movie did you see?”

  Danny slapped the heel of his hand against his forehead. “I can’t believe I forgot to tell you! It was Winged Victory‌—‌the one they filmed when we graduated from flight school in Stockton. Did you see it?”

  “Well, sure, but I had no idea you were in it. I just sent the reels back last week. Did you see yourself on the big screen?”

  “No, but Anya thinks she did. It was that scene where the guys walk up and accept their wings, then turn and march toward the camera. She’s sure she saw me, but I didn’t. Hey, can you reorder those reels?”

  “Sure. I’ll make the call right now. Though I have to say that was one corny movie.”

  Danny followed Joey into the office. “And don’t I know it.”

  They spent the rest of the morning chatting nonstop, stopping to do a few chores before the theater opened for its matinee. Danny loved hanging out with his brother. He’d always admired Joey, especially that night in 1938 after he graduated from high school. He and Dad had an ugly fight at the dinner table that evening. It wasn’t the first time they’d quarreled like that, but Joey decided he’d had enough. He’d secretly enlisted in the navy earlier that spring, so he left in the middle of the night and reported for duty the next day.

  Three and a half years later, on 7 December 1941, Joey was enjoying a leisurely Sunday morning on board the USS Oklahoma in port at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii when the Japanese attacked. Of the 429 officers and crew aboard the Oklahoma, Joey was one of only thirty-two who survived. He suffered a badly injured leg and burns to more than fifty percent of his body, but he survived.

  Now, three and a half years later, Joey seemed to be doing great. He’d taken over management of the theater at Dad’s request, and by the looks of things, he’d done a crackerjack job.

  “So if you’re running the theater, what’s Dad up to these days?”

  “He still stops by for a couple of hours every day. Probably just to let me know he’s looking over my shoulder. But he doesn’t hassle me like he used to. I’ve discussed the possibility of completely remodeling the place; primarily to install heat and air conditioning. We’ve lost so much business to our competition because of those ridiculous oscillating fans he attached to the walls years ago. They just can’t keep the place cool enough. But you know Dad.”

  “Still griping about the Chicago Theater downtown?”

  “Yep. He still thinks all that ‘hoopla’ is a waste of time and money.”

  “Oh yeah, the infamous ‘hoopla’ of big-name celebrities performing at intermission. Who could ever forget those rants? I suppose the Chicago is still packing them in?”

  “By the droves. But like I keep telling him, we don’t need to compete with the big boys downtown. Never have and never will. The problem is convincing Dad that a cooled theater in the summer and a warm theater in the winter will bring in more customers. But even when I show him the figures, he wants no part of it.”

  “That’s our dad,” Danny added with a chuckle. “Always a couple decades behind the times and no apologies for it. But here’s a thought. What would happen if you bought the place from him outright? I mean, no offense, but as long as he still owns it, won’t he alw
ays view you as hired help.”

  “Oh, trust me. I’m fully aware of that. He reminds me on a regular basis.”

  “So, what if you tell him you’d like to buy the Windsor from him? Let him retire, and you can take over lock, stock, and barrel.”

  “I’ll admit I’ve thought about it, Danny. But with the baby coming, Millie and I will want to find a place of our own soon. I’d hate to tie up all our money right now.”

  “He’d probably let you make payments instead of plopping down the full amount up front. You’ve heard about the GI Bill, right?”

  “Nothing specific. What do you know about it?”

  “How about I buy you a cup of coffee across the street and tell you all about it?”

  14

  11 July 1945

  Framlingham, England

  Dear Danny,

  I have missed you more than I ever imagined and long so desperately to hear from you. I have no idea how long it takes for our letters to travel, but it cannot be soon enough. After all you and I have been through, it’s hard to believe we’re once again writing letters, though I admit that taking pen to paper felt somehow familiar and wonderful. It will have to do for now.

  I don’t think I ever told you that of all the possessions I lost in our home in Utrecht, I mourned my stack of letters from you most of all. Not long after you returned to your base back in May, I had a dream one night about those letters. As I watched from outside the front window of our home, I could see the drunken Nazi thugs who’d taken over our home reading through all of your letters, laughing and making fun of all you’d written. I yelled at them to stop, pounding against the window until I broke it, cutting my hands and arms on the ragged glass. They couldn’t hear me or see me, and I realized nothing I could say or do would stop them. I woke up crying and feeling so haunted by it all. Oh Danny, you will never know how much I despise these nightmares. Waking up in your arms seemed to keep them at bay. Now that you’re gone, I must fight them alone again.