Luna Tango

by Alli Sinclair

  ‘I can understand that.’ How many times had Gualberto talked Dani through difficult moments with Carlos?

  ‘Still, I do not know how it will eventuate. Gualberto tried to reason with Cecilia after the accident but he failed. I do not hold much hope but it is the only hope I have.’

  ‘You could get lawyers involved.’

  Carlos’s face creased like he’d been punched in the gut. ‘The lawyers are nothing but parasites.’

  ‘Like journalists.’ Dani smiled.

  ‘Maybe not all lawyers are parasites.’ He stroked her arm. ‘Gualberto will talk to her about the importance of family and I hope this will appeal to her softer side. She is not all bad, just very confused.’

  ‘We’ve all experienced moments of confusion, huh?’

  ‘I am sorry for my behaviour.’ He appeared genuinely remorseful.

  ‘Don’t be. You did what you felt was right at the time.’ She kissed him lightly on the lips. ‘You drive me nuts, you know.’

  ‘And you me.’ He squeezed her fingers. ‘So what now for us?’

  She sighed. ‘I have no idea.’

  ‘We will find a way.’

  She nodded and he drew her into his chest, the one place she felt safest.

  Surprisingly, she didn’t feel jealousy towards Cecilia for giving birth to Carlos’s son. A few months—hell, even a few weeks—ago, Dani would have been weird about being with a man who had just had a child with another woman, even if the relationship had disintegrated.

  But Carlos wasn’t Adam.

  ‘I will make sure I have a strong relationship with my son. Family bonds are the lifeblood of our souls.’

  ‘Yes, they are.’ She leant her head against his chest and closed her eyes. ‘Yes, they most definitely are.’

  * * *

  Dear Adam,

  Sorry for the delay. Attached are your stories, which will make Tourism Argentina tango for joy. I’ve also attached my letter of resignation and I am cancelling my return ticket to New York. I sincerely wish the best for you and hope you’re happy with your choices. It’s taken me a while to decide what’s best for me, but I’ve finally figured it out and that means some monumental changes.

  You’ll also find attached an extra piece that sums up my experience in Argentina. Do with it what you will, but I hope you share it with our readers because we all need some music in our lives.

  Best wishes,

  Dani

  Opening the article one more time, Dani quickly scanned what she hoped would be her pièce de résistance.

  When I first travelled to Argentina, I intended to write about the history of tango and unearth the reasons why this dance has a hold on so many across the world. What I discovered was you do not choose tango, it chooses you.

  Fighting the pull of tango will only result in melancholy, tango’s favourite theme, so there is no other option than to surrender to the allure of the music. You have no choice but to allow your body to engage in a dance that rips apart every emotion, only to hold you in an embrace of ecstasy and pain that is pleasurable and terrifying at the same time.

  Like everyone, I have stories buried within the depths of my soul. Tango reaches in, tears them out and twists and turns every hurt, every joy, into something unrecognisable but which leaves one gasping for air.

  Tango gives permission to share emotions with a stranger, to discuss one’s innermost feelings without uttering a single word. This private conversation between dance partners travels through touch and conveys an array of emotions—happiness, sadness, frustration, fear, love, heartbreak—and when the dance is over, the dancers walk away from each other, having shared intimate details and trusting the other with that knowledge.

  I have yet to understand why tango has this effect on people. Ballet, the Viennese waltz, flamenco and salsa encourage dancers to express their feelings but none can compare to tango. The music, history and freedom of expression combine in a heady mix of desire, but it isn’t sexual, as is commonly thought by outsiders. Sexual attraction can hinder a dance between partners as it blocks out nearly all the other emotions that are needed to dance the tango effectively.

  I arrived in Argentina a tango sceptic and I am now a believer. As a dear friend once said to me, ‘Tango, like love, is complicated’, and it shouldn’t be any other way.

  She hit send and let out a long breath. Dani was happy she hadn’t gone into the whys and wherefores of her decision and at last, the Adam saga had been kicked to the kerb. It felt damn good.

  Since discovering Roberto was her grandfather and enabling his imminent reunion with Louisa, Dani’s writer’s block had crumbled to rubble and she’d written her articles with ease. Her foray into features had been short-lived but she didn’t care. Just before Louisa got on the plane she’d promised to tell Dani the entire story and, while waiting for the endless hours to pass for her arrival, Roberto had revealed more of his. Her faith in writing renewed, Dani had promised her grandparents that Argentines, and the rest of the world, would know that Roberto wasn’t a murderer, just a man who loved deeply and had to fight for his life.

  * * *

  Arrivals at Ezeiza International Airport bustled with young kids running into grandparents’ arms, returning honeymooners smooching, businessmen and women barking into phones, and backpackers studying guidebooks. It had been a mad dash to get to the airport but she’d needed to make sure Roberto’s confessional video and signed document were in the hotel’s safe. She was pleased she’d emailed herself copies as well, because the last thing she wanted was something so precious to be lost. Hopefully, though, she’d never have to use them.

  Dani balanced on her tiptoes, every nerve tingling. Carlos stood beside her, forever her sentinel, and shot a beautiful smile.

  ‘Where is she?’ Dani craned her neck. Every time she spotted an airport policeman her heart raced and the tension in her shoulders increased. ‘Her flight arrived an hour ago. She should be here by now!’

  ‘Paciencia, Daniela.’

  ‘How can I be patient when—’

  The sliding doors opened to reveal an elderly woman, white hair coiffed to perfection, a string of pearls around her neck and sporting a tailored light blue jacket and skirt. Her almond-shaped eyes searched the crowds behind the barriers. The moment her grandmother’s gaze fell upon her, Dani felt the world lift from her shoulders.

  Dodging the barrier, she ran to Louisa and threw her arms around her.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re here!’ She reached for her grandma’s bag but Carlos picked it up.

  ‘I am Carlos Escudero. Welcome to Argentina. Again.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Louisa’s voice shook and Dani couldn’t decide if it was from fatigue or nerves. Probably both. Her eyes darted around the airport.

  ‘No problems?’ asked Dani.

  ‘None.’

  ‘Good. We need to get going. He’s checked out of the hospital.’

  ‘Silly old fool,’ said Louisa. ‘What does he think he’s doing?’

  ‘What his heart desires, Grandma. Come on.’ Dani took Louisa’s shaking arm and Carlos pushed through the crowds, clearing a path for the women. They made it to the car, loaded the luggage and sped away, Carlos at the wheel. The engine screamed a protest but for once, Dani was happy Carlos was channelling his inner Fangio.

  CHAPTER

  34

  A knock sounded at the door and Dani adjusted the straps on her violet dance shoes. She jumped up, smoothed her turquoise silk dress and rushed to the door, opening it with a flourish.

  ‘Hi!’ It was nice to smile freely again.

  ‘Wow.’ Iris beamed. ‘You look beautiful.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Dani grabbed her clutch and glanced at her suitcase where jeans, T-shirt, and runners were buried deep. ‘Where’s Grandma?’

  ‘Already waiting in the car. Here.’ She fished in her handbag, pulled out a small leather pouch and handed it over.

  ‘What’s this?’ The soft, inviting leather cooled Dani
’s fingers.

  ‘It’s a present. I wore it in my first ever performance as a professional tango dancer.’

  ‘Really?’ Dani gently opened the pouch and unravelled a violet and turquoise scarf. She held it against her dress and shoes. ‘It matches.’

  ‘Perhaps our connection is deeper than we thought.’ Panic flashed in Iris’s eyes as though she’d overstepped the mark.

  ‘Maybe it is.’ Dani patted Iris on the arm. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘No, Dani, thank you. I’ve done many horrid things and I’m so ashamed ... I don’t expect you to ever understand why I did what I did, I just ... just—thank you.’

  ‘We’ve got a long road to travel. Are you up for it?’ Dani asked, still unsure about their future.

  ‘I’m willing to do the work. Look.’ She pushed up the sleeve of her dress to reveal a nicotine patch.

  ‘You’re serious about this?’

  ‘I’m serious about changing many things in my life—for the better. Here.’ Iris placed the scarf around Dani’s neck and twisted it in a way only a woman with natural style could. ‘We should get going.’

  Dani slid her arm through Iris’s and they closed the door and headed for the stairs.

  ‘Hang on.’ Dani stopped and narrowed her eyes at the wrought ironwork and rickety mechanics of the lift. ‘Let’s go in here.’

  ‘What? You told me you hated lifts.’

  ‘Maybe I should make some changes, too.’

  ‘You used to love them as a kid. On rainy days we’d go into the city and ride them for hours on end.’ Iris looked off into the distance, smiling. ‘Nothing made you happier and your giggles always brought me joy.’

  All the pieces finally clicked together. ‘After you left I avoided the things I loved doing with you. The beach, lifts—Do you remember the last time we were in one?’

  Iris shook her head.

  ‘We’d picked up Dad from work and you two started fighting in the lift then we got to the bottom and you stormed out, leaving Dad and I alone. A short while later you left for Argentina.’

  ‘Oh, Dani ...’

  ‘It’s okay. I’m working through it all. Jeez, a psychologist would have a field day with our family, huh? C’mon. Let’s do it.’ She pressed the button and the lift clunked into action. Fear raced through Dani’s veins and when the lift arrived, her mother threw her a wary look. Dani wrenched open the iron doors and stepped inside. Her mother followed and with a shaky finger, Dani pressed the ground floor button.

  Iris squeezed her hand and whispered, ‘You can do this—we can do this.’

  With a shudder, the lift descended at a slow rate and Dani took a deep breath as her stomach rose to the heavens. This was the exact feeling she’d experienced as a child, ripples of excitement speeding through her body. They stopped on the ground floor and although her legs remained shaky, Dani was proud of the hurdle she’d just jumped. ‘Hey, thanks.’

  ‘My pleasure,’ said Iris as they walked across the foyer and out the front door.

  Dusk had fallen and the city had turned on the lights in preparation for the warm evening ahead.

  ‘It’s over there.’ Iris pointed at the limousine.

  They got into the car and Dani turned to her grandma, who looked comfortable on the soft leather seat. ‘I’m sorry I took so long.’

  ‘Not to mind.’ Louisa patted her hand and Dani relaxed. It had been years since she’d received this kind of affection from her.

  The car started and Dani stared out the window. She could have been in any large city of the world but what distinguished Buenos Aires from the rest was the tango flowing through the people’s veins, including hers. She now felt an affinity with the city that had changed her life in so many ways.

  Dani glanced at Iris and Louisa. Her mother stared out the other window and Louisa concentrated on the road ahead, both with pursed lips. She had no idea what the future held for the relationship between Iris and Louisa but at least a dialogue had opened and it didn’t look like the doors would slam shut anytime soon.

  The limo halted at the entrance to the park in Belgrano where Louisa and Roberto once sought privacy. The scent of pine and eucalyptus floated through the air, and Dani breathed it in, enjoying the moment. The three women climbed out and stood on the footpath staring at the park’s entrance.

  ‘It’s been so long,’ said Louisa, her hands shaking. She stared at the wall of trees and a faint smile graced her freshly painted pink lips. Louisa stepped forwards with Dani and Iris on either side and they made their way to the bench where the young lovers had once hidden from their turbulent world. Louisa hovered next to the seat for a moment, staring at the worn wooden slats and ironwork. She turned and eased herself onto the bench then gazed at the leafy canopy as dusk filtered through the clusters of leaves.

  ‘Time for your present,’ said Dani. ‘Close your eyes.’

  She waved at the shadows behind the bandstand and five men carried instruments and set them up on the stage: two violinists, a double bass player and a musician with an electric piano and super long extension cord. Gualberto, who had only just arrived back from Bahía Blanca with news that Cecilia would allow Carlos to see his son, appeared with Roberto by his side. He gently manoeuvred her grandfather up the steps and ushered him to a padded stool. Dashing down the stairs again, Gualberto disappeared then returned with a bandoneón and gently passed it to Roberto, who caressed the instrument like it was a newborn. His grey skin flushed pink when he glanced at Louisa, who still had her eyes closed.

  ‘Young love,’ Dani mouthed to Iris, who dabbed at her eyes with a lavender lace handkerchief.

  Dani held up her hands in a questioning manner and Gualberto waggled his index finger as if to say ‘Wait a moment, don’t be so impatient’.

  The fairy lights flicked on and Carlos emerged from the shadows, limping into the light. He stood at the base of the bandstand steps, his dark hair slicked back in the fashionable style of the 1950s. His immaculately pressed dark suit fitted in all the right places, while his white shirt gleamed in the soft light and his smile captured her heart.

  Her chest constricted.

  ‘Wow,’ Dani and Carlos said in unison.

  ‘Wow what? Can I open my eyes?’ Louisa frowned.

  ‘Yes, open them, Grandma.’ Dani stepped off to the side, allowing Louisa the full vista.

  ‘Oh my.’ Louisa held a hand to her mouth as her eyes connected with Roberto, who offered a boyish grin. A cocoon of pure love wrapped around the small group.

  ‘You belong next to your man.’ Holding out her hand, Dani led Louisa to the top of the gazebo and sat her next to Roberto. Louisa gently moved the stool closer and placed her weathered hand over his. Their hands shook and lips quivered as they looked longingly into each other’s eyes, decades of unspoken conversations, love and companionship flying between them. Tears streamed down their cheeks, the lines in their faces were maps that showed the turbulent times they’d suffered while apart. Roberto placed the bandoneón on the floor and he and Lousia embraced tentatively at first, but as their bodies remembered each other, they held on tighter, as if afraid of letting go. The moment their lips met, her grandma’s lacklustre skin glowed and Roberto’s back straightened. His chest still rose and fell as he struggled for breath, but the reunion with the woman he loved with all his heart was not going to be marred by his rapidly declining health.

  ‘Are you sure you can do this, Roberto?’ asked Dani.

  ‘Yes, of course. I have not waited decades to play this song for my Lunita.’ His eyes caught the sparkle from the fairy lights as he gazed at his love and squeezed her hand.

  ‘You’re playing “Luna Tango”?’ Louisa asked, her cheeks flushed.

  ‘Mí amor, I have lived every day in the hope you would hear our song.’

  ‘Then you need this.’ Louisa reached into her handbag and tentatively offered the folded paper to him.

  He raised his eyebrows then frowned as he unfolded the paper with shaking
hands. When he smoothed out the sheet, he placed his hand over his heart. ‘You’ve had it all these years? I thought it was lost when Eduardo and I—’

  ‘It’s never been lost, amor. I found it after he stormed off and I’ve kept it close to me ever since. I’ve hoped my entire life you would one day hold this and reunite it with the rest of the score and look,’ she glanced at his shaking hands, ‘now you can.’

  ‘I’d rewritten the first page from memory because I’d never forgotten these notes—they were composed for you. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see the original.’ Roberto patted Louisa’s leg. ‘You and the music are worth the wait.’

  ‘And so are you.’

  Roberto coughed and doubled over, gasping for air. Louisa’s eyes widened as Dani raced forwards, grabbing a bottle of water. Dani rubbed his back and he took a few sips as his coughing fit subsided. Surreptitiously wiping his mouth with his handkerchief, he gave Dani a warning look.

  Roberto took a shuddery breath, reached for the bandoneón and balanced it on his knees as he caught Gualberto’s eye and gave him a wink. Roberto closed his eyes, straightened his back and coughed again, but not for long, He sat up straight, determination flashing across his handsome features. He let go of Louisa’s hand, albeit reluctantly, and played the first melancholic notes. They floated along the cool breeze and caused goose bumps to sprout on Dani’s skin. Gone was the scratching of nails against the blackboard and in its place was the beauty of an instrument and song that embraced a love that had never been forgotten.

  Gualberto signalled the pianist, double bass player and violinist to join in as Louisa swayed gently to the music, no doubt lost in a world of what could have been. Iris rose from the bench and leant against the rail on the gazebo stage, close to her mother. Louisa gave her a smile through teary eyes and the tenuous connection between the women appeared to strengthen.

  Every nuance of the light and dark notes flowed through Dani’s body and as the music twinkled like bright stars in the inky sky, she turned to find Carlos staring at her. Her fingertips and toes tingled with excitement. For almost sixty years, most of the music score had remained trapped in a bandoneón case, waiting for one more sheet to complete it and now it had been set free, celebrating a love that spanned decades.