Date with Death

by Elizabeth Lenhard

  “Maybe only once every few centuries,” Max said with a teasing smile.

  Oh, that does it, Paige thought. I am so onto you.

  “In fact,” Paige said sweetly as she got out of her chair, “I think I need some time just to . . . you know, think about things. I think I'll walk home.”

  “In the rain?” Max said, his eyebrows raised.

  “I love walking in the rain,” Paige said. “You know, like the song says. But thanks for brunch. It was . . . enlightening.”

  “For me, as well,” Max said, rising to his feet and taking Paige's right hand. Slowly, he lifted it to his lips, then planted a gentle kiss on her index finger.

  Paige's head snapped back as she felt a burst of electricity shoot up her arm. It was like a current that ended in her heart, making her hunch over in a spasm of . . . not pain, exactly. More like surprise.

  Paige snatched her hand away from Max and pressed it to her side, hoping he wouldn't be able to see how much she was trembling. Then she smiled tremulously and sidled past Max. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw her sisters take one look at her, then throw some money on their table and stand up.

  She left the restaurant without looking back and took a few wobbly steps down the sidewalk. The rain had subsided to a foggy mist. Paige had to squint to see through it, so she didn't know Phoebe had walked up behind her until she felt her hand on her shoulder. Paige jumped and squealed.

  “Oh, I'm so glad to see you,” Paige whimpered, throwing her arms around Phoebe's shoulders. Then she pulled back and stared into Phoebe's frightened eyes.

  “It's him,” Paige breathed. “Max is Lupercalus.”

  “We figured when you suddenly dashed out of there,” Phoebe said. “Piper went to grab the car.”

  No sooner had the words left her mouth than Piper skidded up in the black SUV.

  “Home, Jeeves?” she called through the passenger window.

  Paige and Phoebe tumbled into the car. By the time Piper pulled up to Halliwell Manor fifteen minutes later, Paige had recounted the entire breakfast for them.

  “I'm sure Dr. Laura would have something to say about this,” Paige said glumly as they walked into the foyer. She glanced into the mirror and fluffed out her rain-dampened hair. “I mean, how perverse is it that all my nondemonic dates bored me to tears. And the one guy I liked turns out to be a Roman emperor with a king-sized grudge. Do I have bad taste in men or what?”

  “Or what!” Piper declared. “Paige, think about it. If Lupercalus could somehow jerryrig you so that you turned all your dates into killing machines, don't you think he could manipulate the dates themselves? He hexed you!”

  “Why would he do that?” Paige retorted, slumping back against the wall next to the hall mirror. “I mean, once I made eye contact with the guys, the deed was done, right?”

  “Yes, but had you liked any of them, you might have stopped your dating rampage,” Phoebe pointed out.

  “Excuse me?” Paige said. “Rampage is such a desperate word. Could we just go back to calling it ‘playing the field’?”

  “Didn't you say that Max urged you to keep dating at brunch?” Piper said.

  “Um, yeah, come to think of it,” Paige said.

  “Of course he did,” Phoebe said, giving Paige a squeeze. “Keeping you on the lame-date treadmill would produce an army of bloodsuckers for Lupercalus. It was the perfect plan.”

  “It was the perfect plan,” Piper said, biting her lip. “And now we have to figure out how to thwart it.”

  Chime.

  “You were right about the crazy timing of that doorbell,” Paige said to Phoebe.

  And sure enough, when Paige swung the door open, there was Max, a stiff, fake smile on his face.

  “Hi!” Paige blurted brightly, planting herself firmly in the doorway. “Max! Uh . . . miss me already?”

  “Of course, Paige,” Max said, neatly sidestepping her to come into the foyer. “But that's not why I'm here.”

  “Oh?”

  Max turned at the sound of Piper's voice. She was stationed at the living-room door. And directly across from her, Phoebe manned the dining-room door.

  “So why are you here?” Phoebe asked. “Just sisterly curiosity. I'm Paige's big sister, Phoebe. And this is Piper.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Max said distractedly. Then he gave Paige a sidelong look. “I, uh, forgot my umbrella. I swear, I've outfitted half of San Francisco with my cast-off rain gear. But this time, since it provided an excuse to see you again, I decided to go after it.”

  “Oh,” Paige said flatly. Then she looked around the foyer. “Um, I don't see it. Did you leave it in the conservatory?”

  Max gave Paige another hard look.

  “Ah, yes, I think I did,” Max said. “I remember where it is. I'll just go look.”

  Max smiled politely at Phoebe as she stepped aside to let him pass. When he'd crossed through the dining room into the plant-filled conservatory, Phoebe turned to her sisters.

  “Okay, bird in hand,” she whispered. “Now what do we do with him?”

  “I don't know!” Piper said. “We haven't had a chance to do any research. No spell, no potion, no nothin'.”

  “Except that exploding finger of yours,” Paige said. “Better try it out.”

  “Better not.”

  Paige froze as she heard Max's voice behind her. In fact, she almost felt it. The moment Max spoke—in a voice that was lower and more sinister than his normal one—her hair stood on end. She spun around to see Max looming by the dining-room door. Needless to say, he wasn't holding an umbrella. He did, however, have a handful of crackling electricity and he was rearing back to wing it at Paige.

  Paige screamed in terror and cringed as the blue-hot energy zinged through the air. Then she felt the now-familiar sensation of her body orbing into nothingness. It was how her magical self reacted to threat, no conscious will necessary.

  By the time Paige orbed back into place, the energy ball had hit the wall behind her with a crackling explosion.

  “Ha!” Piper yelled, flicking her hands in Max's direction.

  Max was unphased. His eyes had turned acid-yellow, bulging with venom. An almost-invisible force field—ice blue and sparking like a live wire—had instantly formed around his body. The shield bounced Piper's explosive magic right back in her direction.

  “Watch it,” Phoebe screamed, leaping across the foyer in one huge bound. She caught Piper around the waist and together the two crashed to the floor. The explosion hit the mirror on the wall right behind the spot where Piper had been standing.

  “Okay, so he's got wolf eyes, electric ammo, and a force field,” Phoebe cried. “But we have the Power of Three.”

  “Or do you?” Max said. “Remember I've got a conduit in your love-hungry sister's head. Test me and I'll show you what else my little pathway can do for her.”

  With that, Max stared at Paige. His rheumy, animalistic eyes glowed. Suddenly Paige felt pain sear her brain like a branding iron. But it wasn't a physical pain she felt. No, it was the anguish of Lupercalus's victims.

  Paige's own life melted away as Max filled her head with the feelings of Carla Janowski. The woman's last few hours flashed through Paige's mind in searing, warp speed. In quick succession, Paige experienced all of Carla's emotions. She ached for affection. Then she was hopeful. Then giddy with a new crush.

  Then Paige felt herself experience Carla's final minutes. She crumpled to the foyer floor, hugging herself tightly, rocking back and forth and weeping softly. Paige felt fingers of passion shooting through her. A kiss. This must have been the end of Carla's date.

  And then horror. Excruciating pain. Paige clawed at her chest as she felt the phantom slicing and dicing of one of those silver claws.

  “Stop it!” Phoebe screamed. The noise jolted Paige out of her nightmare slightly, but Max's mental onslaught had left her incredibly weak. She was only dimly aware of Phoebe scrambling to her feet and running at Max, her fists poised for a f
ight.

  Max howled, turning his attention from Paige to zing his hand in Phoebe's direction. This time his electric weapon took the shape of a long, snaky coil. It caught Phoebe across the neck and knocked her, gasping, to the floor. Paige could see Phoebe's feet twitching slightly as she lay still.

  She also felt Lupercalus's emotional vise completely release her aching head. She slumped forward, clutching her temples. Just before she blacked out, she saw Max run across the foyer. As he did, a gust of wind suddenly filled the hallway.

  A portal sprang up from the Oriental rug, unleashing its wild flurry of wind, chaos, and excruciating noise.

  Of course, Paige thought weakly. It's the ephemeral demon's favorite highway—the time portal.

  Max took a flying leap into the tunnel's mouth, which closed around him like a gooey, Venus flytrap.

  And finally, when the tunnel disappeared, Paige let go. Everything went black.

  chapter

  10

  “Paige!” Phoebe screamed. Painfully, she picked herself up off the floor and went to her sister's side.

  “Phoebe? What's going on?”

  Phoebe looked up from her sister's comatose face to see Cole, barreling down the stairs, his face drawn and white with fear. Leo was right behind him.

  “You were right,” Piper said. “Max was Lupercalus and he pulled a number on Paige's head. She was in so much pain, she passed out.”

  Cole kneeled down next to Phoebe, who was cradling Paige's head, while Leo placed his hands on Paige's forehead. After a few seconds of his healing glow, Paige's eyelids fluttered open. She coughed and shook her head back and forth.

  “Paige,” Leo said, waving his hand before her bleary eyes. “Are you in there? Snap out of it.”

  He stared into her eyes for a moment, then froze.

  “What's wrong?” Cole said. “Here, let me try.”

  Cole leaned over Paige and put a finger to her chin, turning her face so that her eyes met his.

  “You blacked out for a minute, sis,” he said. “But you're okay, now. I promise. How many fingers?”

  Cole held up three fingers, then looked into Paige's eyes for a sign of recognition. Paige blinked slowly and winced.

  “Three,” she croaked.

  Cole didn't respond. In fact, he and Leo both sat perfectly still as Paige sat up, shook her head once more, and then popped to her feet.

  “Wow, that glow thingy is amazing,” she said brightly.

  Leo and Cole continued to sit on the floor in silence.

  “Uh, guys?” Phoebe said.

  “Cole, Leo!” Piper said, snapping her fingers. “Where did you guys go?”

  Leo raised his right hand.

  And it began to change. At first the change was subtle. His skin went a little gray. His fingers seemed to lengthen. But then, Leo's hand took a shape that was becoming all too familiar to the witches.

  The ropy, metallic muscles.

  The elongated, predatory fingers.

  And worst of all, the eruption of those long, glinting talons.

  Leo leapt to his feet and held his hand aloft. Then he began to stalk toward his wife.

  “Leo?” Piper said timidly. “Okay, what's going on here?”

  “Oh, no,” Phoebe said, circling Leo carefully. “Lupercalus's attack must have put some extrastrong mojo into Paige's head. He's come through the conduit and possessed Leo!”

  “Um, Phoebe?” Paige said. She sidled up to her sister and tapped her on the shoulder.

  “Not now, Paige,” Phoebe whispered. “We've got a situation here. Geez, I can't believe even a possessed Leo would turn on his own wife. What a blow!”

  “Phoebe!” Paige yelled.

  “Watch out!” Phoebe spun around just in time to see her own sweetheart bearing down on her. And he was wielding a brand-new, extra-shiny claw.

  “What a blow,” Piper simpered. Then she returned her attention to Leo.

  “Honey?” she said to him. “You already have my heart. Trust me, you don't need to go any further.”

  “Cole!” Phoebe was saying as her fiancé backed her against the foyer wall. “Please! Don't make me kung fu you.”

  “You'll . . . be . . . sorry,” Leo droned, moving a step closer to Piper.

  “I will have my revenge,” Cole sneered, lunging at Phoebe with his claws.

  “Oh no, not this again,” Paige complained as she looked back and forth between the two couples. “I can't take it anymore.”

  And with that, she reached out her hand and ordered, “Candlestick!”

  One of the heavy brass candlesticks that always sat on the dining-room table suddenly orbed into Paige's hand. As soon as it became solid in her fist, she reached up and conked Leo on the head with it.

  “Leo!” Piper cried. Then she gazed at Paige in shock.

  “You just bonked my husband,” she said.

  “Yeah, just before you reached a new, lethal level of intimacy,” Paige said.

  “Um, you have a point,” Piper said. Then she jumped as Phoebe whooped on the other side of the foyer.

  “Hi-yah!” she cried, suddenly shooting her leg in a high circle kick and knocking Cole's hand away from her chest, where he'd been just inches away from digging in for her heart. With Cole unbalanced, Phoebe grabbed his claw and wrenched it behind his back. Cole struggled mightily, accidentally slashing one of Phoebe's cheeks with a talon.

  “Phoebe!” Piper cried. Then, instinctively, she flicked her hands out and froze Cole in mid-writhe.

  Phoebe fell back against the wall and sank to the floor, cupping her cheek.

  “He hurt me,” she said incredulously.

  “It's not him,” Paige said, trying to comfort Phoebe. “You know that.”

  Piper merely stood over Leo and stared at him sadly. When he'd passed out, his clawed hand had receded and now he looked like himself again—vulnerable and sweet.

  “Piper,” Paige said, “I know that look. It's the, ‘Aw, Leo's so cute when he's sleeping look.’ And you've got to shake it off! When your husband comes to, he's going to be Lethal Leo. That is, until we figure out how to exorcise Lupercalus in some way that doesn't get us sucked into ancient Egypt.”

  “She's right, Piper,” Phoebe said sorrowfully. “For now, we've got to stash our sweeties in a place where they'll do no harm.”

  “The basement,” Piper declared. “There are bars on the window and a bolt lock on our side of the door.”

  “Yup,” Phoebe said. “Perfect. Let's move 'em before Cole unfreezes.”

  “You up for orbing these guys down there?” Piper said, giving Paige a skeptical glance.

  “Sure!” Paige said defensively. “Although, I think I'll do my ‘fetch’ routine. I've had more practice at that.”

  Nervously, she went into the basement with Phoebe and Piper at her heels. Paige stood in the middle of the messy room, littered with old tools and Prue's photo-developing equipment, and squeezed her eyes shut.

  “Cole!” she shouted. An instant later, Cole shimmered into the basement, practically knocking Paige over.

  “Cool!” Paige cried.

  “You've got Cole,” Piper said. “Now, Leo.”

  “I said, ‘cool,’” Paige said, glaring at her sister. But then she recomposed herself and called out Leo's name. Lo and behold, her brother-in-law orbed in as well. The Halliwells gave each other a quick glance, then high-tailed it up the stairs.

  “Book of Shadows,” Phoebe said as she reached the top of the stairs. “Now!”

  She and Paige hurried out of the kitchen as Piper slid the bolt lock into place. The minute the door locked, she heard a crash.

  “And that would be Cole unfreezing,” she whispered to herself. She cringed and pressed her ear to the door. Leo must have just woken up, too. She could hear him droning, “Sorry . . . you'll be sorry!”

  Then Cole started bellowing, “Phoebe! Let me out of here! Phoebe!”

  Piper gave the door a sharp tug to make sure the lock was secure, the
n spun around.

  “Aahh!” she gasped. She was staring at two strangers.

  Two men.

  Two men with sharp, silver claws where their hands should have been.

  “Paige!” Piper screeched. “Your dates are here!”

  Then she threw up her hands to freeze the attackers before they could move in for her heart.

  Phoebe and Paige skidded into the kitchen and gasped.

  “Whoa!” Phoebe said. “Paige, how many guys did you go out with?”

  “Just four!” Paige protested. “That's Charlie, my coffee date from the other day, and uh . . . uh . . .”

  “You forgot the other guy's name?” Piper said, planting her fists on her hips. “Paige! You're fast.”

  “Am not,” Paige retorted. “Just James! His name is James. Of course . . .”

  Chime.

  “Hmm, I wonder who that is?” Phoebe said, glaring at Paige. Paige glanced at the kitchen clock.

  “Oh, that's right,” she said sheepishly. “Sunday lunch with Alan, the media consultant. How could I forget? Don't worry. I'll get rid of him.”

  While Phoebe and Piper stood guard, Paige hurried to the front door, muttering as she went. “You'd think they never had a dry spell in their dating lives. Don't understand . . . so easy for them . . .”

  Paige was still in vent mode when she opened the front door. And then she stared, her mouth hanging open.

  There was Alan, the media consultant and Teddy, the E.R. doctor.

  “Uh, hi guys,” Paige stuttered. “Did I double-book? How incredibly . . . awkward.”

  Then Paige shut her mouth because she realized her dates didn't seem to mind in the slightest. They were simply standing on the porch, their eyes riveted to her.

  And why didn't they mind? Because they'd become hypnotized the moment Paige opened the door and gaped at each of them.

  “Noooo!” Paige groaned, dashing back into the kitchen with her dates—claws out—in hot pursuit.

  “Piper!” Paige cried. “One, please don't be mad. Two, freeze these jokers!”

  Piper turned away from Bachelors 1 and 2 to put an instant freeze on 3 and 4.

  “This is ridiculous,” Phoebe said. “Why didn't we realize Paige shouldn't have answered the door! And Paige? We'll deal with the ‘double date’ later, okay?”