Finding Chrissten l(-5

by N. J. Walters

  He’d already taken too much from her. She needed to do this if she was ever going to recover from her ordeal and put it behind her.

  Hank’s heart thudded heavily against her hand. His face looked as though it had been carved from stone. “Chrissten,” he began and she knew he was going to say no to her out of some misguided idea that she wasn’t thinking straight. And maybe she wasn’t. But she no longer cared.

  Knowing the fight with Brian and the others was at hand, it struck her hard that she might never have the opportunity to make love with a male of her choosing, one she was attracted to and respected.

  “No.” She shook her head and moved her hands higher up his chest until they were resting on his shoulders. Hank was only a couple of inches taller than her, but he was so much bigger and stronger. “I want this. I want you.”

  She wasn’t sure what she’d do if he refused her. She wanted Hank, needed him in a way she didn’t fully understand. It frightened her, but not as much as the prospect of not having him.

  He studied her for long seconds, searching her face. Finally, he gave a curt nod. “We’ll take it slow. Whatever you want.”

  Hank turned and locked the door. It wouldn’t stop anyone who wanted to get in, but it would slow them down.

  “You know they all saw us come up here,” Hank reminded her.

  “I don’t care. This is my life, not theirs.” She knew Quinn would protest. She wasn’t certain about Craig. But what would the others think? “You won’t get in trouble, will you?” She hadn’t thought about that. Hadn’t considered the ramifications for Hank with his pack.

  She was being selfish, once again thinking only of herself. “I’m sorry,” she began. “I shouldn’t have asked you to do this. I’m putting you in a very bad situation.” After all, technically she was a mated female. She knew there were rules about these things. She’d just never bothered to learn what they were. She didn’t consider herself committed to Brian in any way. The male had taken her by force. She shuddered at the memory.

  Hank wrapped his arms around her and held her against his broad, solid chest. Heat radiated from him, along with a sense of belonging that she found very seductive. “You don’t worry about me.”

  She noted he didn’t say he wouldn’t get into trouble. A pain went through her heart at the thought of him possibly losing the respect of his pack, maybe even his home because of her. “Of course I’m worried about you.”

  He smiled at her and it was such a sad smile it brought tears to her eyes. “You’re the most important person in my world. Do you understand, Chrissten?” He framed her face with his hands and traced his thumbs over her cheekbones. His expression was intense and she could hear the utter conviction in his voice.

  She didn’t want to be that important to anyone. Not now. Not with her life so mixed up. She started to shake her head and push him away, but he wasn’t having it. He lowered his head and kissed her.

  Chrissten was lost.

  Here was what she’d always wanted, always dreamed of having. Here was caring and acceptance. Hank’s mouth pressed against hers, firm and warm. Oh, he tasted so good, a mouthwatering combination of coffee and male.

  He used the hold on her face to tilt it slightly so he was able to get a better angle. His tongue teased her bottom lip before sliding into her mouth. Chrissten moaned. She couldn’t hold back the small sound of pleasure. Hank kissed her as though he had all the time in the world. She loved that about him. He savored each kiss like it was a goal in and of itself.

  She ignored the slight flutter in her belly when she thought the “L” word. She could love things about him. He was an admirable male in all ways. He was intelligent, caring and strong. And he was loyal. Best of all, he made her feel, and in a good way.

  Hank banished the shadows and the demons that lurked in her mind. He made her forget her months of captivity, Brian and the fight ahead. When Hank kissed her there was no room for anything else. She stopped fighting the kiss and let herself go, wallowing in the genuine warmth and caring.

  He pulled away slowly, kissing her top lip, then her bottom. He dropped kisses onto her forehead and nose, her cheeks and her chin. “I want to give you what you want. Let me love you, Chrissten.”

  She knew she should say no. Knew she should send him away, for his sake. She’d started something she shouldn’t have. But oh how she wanted him. Wanted to taste pleasure at least once in her life.

  Words failed her, so she nodded. Hank scooped her into his arms as though she weighed nothing and carried her to the bed. She rested her head against his shoulder for the all-too-short ride. Then he was setting her down on the mattress.

  He slowly removed her shoes and socks, giving her time to reconsider. Maybe if she was a stronger person she would. But she wanted this. Wanted him.

  She grabbed the hem of her sweater and sat up long enough to yank it over her head. “You next.”

  Hank unbuttoned his shirt, one button at a time, giving her a tantalizing glimpse of his muscular chest and abs. He shrugged his powerful shoulders and the fabric slid down his arms and disappeared onto the floor.

  She swallowed hard. Hank was gorgeous. His skin was golden and the light smattering of chest hair was darker than the hair on his head. The hair bisected his stomach with a thin line and disappeared into the waistband of his jeans.

  Her gaze dipped lower and there was no missing the bulge in his jeans. Hank was very aroused.

  “Chrissten?” She knew what he was asking. The mere fact that he asked her gave her the courage to move forward. She nodded.

  He reached for the snap of her jeans and undid it. Her zipper slid down, the metal rasp loud in the otherwise quiet room. Their breath was in sync, both of them breathing slow and deep.

  Hank hooked his fingers around the material and pulled until it was gone, leaving her dressed in a plain white bra and panties. She had to fight the urge to cover herself. Being naked meant being vulnerable to another person. In her limited experience that was never a good thing. But she trusted Hank like she’d never trusted another male.

  He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple moving up and down. “You are so beautiful.”

  She looked down at herself. She was still too skinny from months of being starved. Her breasts were average. Nothing special. The tips were hard nubs outlined against the thin cotton fabric of her bra. Her panties covered her pubic hair. Her legs were long and firm. Personally, she thought they were her best physical trait.

  Hank caught her chin on the edge of his hand and lifted it until she was looking at him. “You are beautiful,” he repeated. “I love your long hair. I’ve dreamed about having that hair flowing over my body, wrapped around my cock.”

  Heat flashed over her skin and through her body. It was all too easy to imagine what he was describing. She licked her bottom lip and silently willed him to continue.

  Not that he seemed to need any prompting. “I love your eyes. They’re like a summer’s day, clear and lovely.” He brushed his knuckles over her cheek. “Your skin is so soft.”

  He let his hand slide down her throat and across her collarbone. It came to rest between her breasts. “But it’s this that attracts me the most, your brave heart, your courage.”

  Chrissten couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak. The sheer beauty of his words rocked her to her core.

  But Hank wasn’t done. He found the front clasp of her bra and gave a deft twist. The fabric pulled away, leaving her breasts bare. He cupped both mounds in his hands and buried his face between them.

  She caught his head between her hands, holding him to her. The moment was so tender, so precious. He turned his head and dragged his tongue over her skin. Fire licked her flesh where he touched, leaving her scorched but wanting more.

  He carefully circled one distended nipple before taking it into his mouth and sucking gently. She arched upward, encouraging him to take more. His hands moved over her ribcage and lower.

  She sucked in a breath and he immediately sa
t back. Every muscle in his body was tense, outlined in stark relief against his skin. She wanted to feel them ripple beneath her hands.

  Chrissten came up onto her knees and shrugged out of her bra. She touched him then, started with his face, his strong, rugged face. He closed his eyes briefly when she lightly caressed his high forehead and cheekbones. He sucked in a breath when she dragged her fingers along his stubborn jawline and down the thick cords of his neck.

  There was no give in his shoulders and biceps. The man was built like a rock. Blue veins ran up and down the insides of his broad forearms. His hands were wide, his fingers long. Strong hands. Male hands.

  “Chrissten, you’re killing me.”

  Alarmed, she pulled her hands away, but he grabbed them and put them back on his chest. “It may kill me, but what a hell of a way to go.”

  He was putting her in charge, leaving her no room for doubts and fears. Was there a better man in the world? One who instinctively seemed to understand her? She didn’t think so.

  It made her sad. Made her wish for things that could never be. She wanted to go back in time before she was kidnapped and meet Hank, before fear had become her constant companion.

  She hated herself for being so weak, so fearful. He thought her brave. Courageous. She was none of those things. She was simply a woman trying to survive.

  “What are you thinking?” He placed his hands over hers and gave a light squeeze.

  “That I want you.” She shoved all other thoughts aside. If he wanted her then she wanted this to happen. They didn’t have much time. Hank would be going with the other men tonight. And she would be following them. Somehow. Some way.

  Beyond that, she knew they didn’t have long before someone came to check on them, maybe fifteen or twenty minutes at most. Not long enough for what she truly wanted, but long enough to give them both a wonderful memory.

  “Take off your jeans. I want to see you.” Chrissten scooted back and waited. Hank didn’t disappoint her. He stood and quickly shucked his footwear and socks. When he pulled off his jeans he took his underwear with them. Naked, he stood before her.

  His cock was large and thick. The tip was flared and damp and, as she watched, a bead of liquid seeped from the tip. Chrissten didn’t think. She simply reacted. Hank was standing by the bed and she moved forward, reached out and touched him.

  His skin radiated warmth against her hand. She ran one finger from the base to the tip and back down again. He was so hard, but the outside of his erection was so soft. He groaned and fisted his hands by his sides.

  Chrissten stilled. Was he angry? She glanced up and found him staring at her, his eyes aglow with lust. A bolt of fear shot through her and she pulled her hand back.

  “It’s okay,” he promised her. “I will never hurt you, Chrissten. Touch me.”

  She reached out slowly and wrapped her fingers around him. He pulsed against her palm, so hot and alive. He groaned and thrust his hips forward, pushing him deeper into her hand.

  “I love the way your fingers feel wrapped around my dick.” He brushed his hand lightly over her head before letting it fall back by his side. Again, she was struck by the fact he wasn’t holding her, was giving her plenty of space.

  Courage filled her. She could do this.

  The heavy sac between his legs was lightly furred and looked heavy. She cupped it in her hands and as rewarded with another groan. She hadn’t touched Brian in any way other than to fight him. He’d always restrained her. But with Hank she was free to touch and explore as much as she wanted.

  And she wanted to very much.

  Another bead of liquid seeped from the slit at the top of his cock, and she leaned forward and licked it off. The salty, tangy flavor exploded on her tongue. She swallowed and decided she liked it very much.

  “Fuck.”

  Her gaze flew upward. Hank’s head was tilted back, his jaw clenched as though he was in pain. She didn’t want that.

  Chrissten lay back on the bed and patted the covers next to her. She could do this. She could let him make love to her.

  Once again, Hank surprised her. He reached for her panties and dragged them down her legs and off. She had to fight the urge to cover herself. But Hank had made himself vulnerable to her. It was only fair for her to do the same in return.

  She was surprised when he ignored his prominent hard-on and knelt between her thighs. He ran his hands up the insides of her legs, tracing the crease at the top, making goose bumps race down her skin. Her pussy felt damp and hot. Her core was pulsing with growing need in spite of the frisson of fear that went through her.

  Hank was big and strong. It would be easy for him to hold her down, to force her, to hurt her.

  She whimpered, uncertain if she had enough courage to continue. Hank cupped her ass in his hands and brought her sex to his mouth. “Shh,” he crooned. “I won’t hurt you. Let me make you feel good.” He lapped at her labia, tracing the wet folds with his tongue.

  Fear was transmuted to passion in a heartbeat. Chrissten gripped the sheets beneath her, needing an anchor in the sensual storm he created within her. He sucked at her tender flesh, ran his tongue over and around her distended clitoris. He drove his tongue into her slit, lapping at the cream that slipped from her core.

  The sounds that came from her throat were unlike any she’d ever made in her life. Chrissten didn’t know herself. One minute it was too much and she wanted to push him away and the next she wanted to pull him closer and tell him to never stop.

  Her legs were spread wide and Hank’s head was buried between them. She was out of control and didn’t care. Her orgasm was building quickly. Her skin felt electric, as though sparks were skittering over it, ready to ignite.

  He inserted one long, thick finger into her channel and sucked on her clit at the same time. Chrissten’s entire body splintered, breaking into a million pieces before reforming again. She cried out Hank’s name and arched her hips against his mouth.

  He kept licking and sucking, drawing out her orgasm until she was totally spent. He carefully lowered her hips to the bed, wiped his chin with the back of his hand and smiled.

  Chrissten groaned and closed her eyes. He looked entirely too pleased with himself. And why shouldn’t he? He was magnificent.

  The bed jostled and her eyes shot open. Hank lay beside her, hands stacked behind his head. He gave the appearance of a totally relaxed male. Which was impossible. His cock was still hard as steel. He hadn’t come. Once again, he’d given her an orgasm and she’d given him nothing.

  She rolled onto her side and faced him. “We can…you know.” God, she sounded totally stupid. “We can have sex. If you want.” And she should shut up now.

  Hank wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and dragged her close enough for a torrid kiss. His mouth claimed hers, his tongue doing all sorts of wonderful things that sent tingles shooting through her entire body.

  “If you want me, take me,” he told her when he pulled away from the kiss. He reached down and took his erection in his hand and pumped up and down several times. It was fascinating and incredibly arousing to watch his large hand stroke his cock. “It won’t take long for me to come. I want to be inside you. To have the walls of your pussy close around my dick, squeezing me tight.”

  Her core clenched in response. She wanted that too.

  “I know that you’re mated, but I don’t care.”

  Chrissten hated that fact. Wished she could go back in time and change her actions that fateful day she was kidnapped. But if she did, she would never have met Hank. “You can smell him on me, can’t you?” Brian’s scent never left her skin no matter how much she scrubbed. It was embedded in her skin, fused to her DNA.

  “Yes.” Hank’s eyes were solemn, his lips pulled into a thin line. “I won’t lie to you. This situation is rare. You shouldn’t be attracted to me and I shouldn’t want you more than my next breath. But I do.” He touched her bottom lip gently, making it tingle before letting his hand fall away ag
ain. “I don’t fucking care about Brian or about what the others might think. All I care about is you.”

  “Hank.” She didn’t know what to say. His words made her heart ache and her body heat.

  “I want you to take me, Chrissten. You’re in charge. Go as fast or as slow as you want. Take as much or as little of me as you want.” He gave a self-deprecating grin. “Although, personally, I hope you take a lot and take it fast.”

  She laughed. It shocked her. The last thing she’d expected to do in front of a naked male was laugh. But Hank was unlike any man she’d ever met. He put her needs first. Always.

  “I’m here for you, Chrissten.” She sensed the double meaning in his words but chose to focus on the physical aspect of the situation. She couldn’t think about the emotional ramifications. Not now.

  She pushed herself up and threw one leg over his thighs until she was straddling him. She gripped his cock in her hands, shifting position until she was right over it. She took a deep breath, fit the thick head to the opening of her channel and slowly began to sit.

  Hank didn’t know how he kept from coming. Chrissten was magnificent. Naked and proud, he knew she was fighting her fears. He couldn’t imagine how much courage it took to make herself vulnerable to him, to even attempt to make love after the brutality she’d faced at the hands of another male.

  He could still taste her on his lips. He was addicted to her essence. Knew he would never tire of it, of her. The long tail of her braid hung over her shoulder, brushing against the side of one of her breasts. They were firm, the tips red and puckered from his earlier attention.

  She straddled him and held his dick in her hands. Watching her fit him to her opening was one hell of a turn on. Hank wanted to slam into her and feel the walls of her pussy close around him. Only fear held him still. He didn’t want to do anything that might alarm her. She was so strong, yet so emotionally fragile. It wouldn’t take much to send her skittering back into her shell.