A Necessary Woman

by A. E. Easterlin

  Their time had finally come. “Whatever you’re thinking about, forget it. Tonight it’s just you and me. Kiss me now. Let me love you the way you deserve to be loved.” With a soft, seductive growl, Jake covered her mouth, teasing her lower lip with his teeth, enticing her to open to him. “You are mine, Suzanna. All mine. You’re so beautiful…so incredibly beautiful.”

  Conscious thought fled Suzanna’s mind at the first touch of his tongue, the rough rasp of it dancing against hers, making her blood run hot. His mouth consumed hers like a starving man seeking nourishment and satisfaction.

  She melted into him and surrendered to the sensation of his full lips claiming dominion. Moist heat trailed over her cheek, her jaw, to the shell of her ear. Shivers ran up and down her spine as her breath hitched in her throat, and she murmured his name.

  Her arms traveled up his chest to link themselves around his neck, and she pressed her body closer to his. Jake’s hands were everywhere. He massaged her arms and shoulders, down her back to her buttocks and back again. Knotting her dress in a fierce grip, he drew her body up and crushed her to the rock-hard ridges of his chest. He was a man on fire, and she burned with him.

  She heard him growl her name under his breath, and it caught at her heart. How amazing that kissing her and touching her caused this larger-than-life man to lose control, to lose himself in the divine ecstasy of their passion. The power went to her head like a full-bodied wine, releasing her inhibitions, melting her bones.

  The floor disappeared beneath her feet, and she did the only thing she could. She held on, seeking purchase while her world rocked and swayed, clinging to his nearness as his body surrounded her. His big hands blazed fingers of flame down her limbs as he dispensed with her garments one by one, exploring every inch of her pale smooth skin. Shivers of delight followed his touch.

  She couldn’t breathe…couldn’t breathe…couldn’t breathe. His kisses stole the air from her lungs, and she broke away, inhaling his fresh pine scent with deep gulps of life-giving air as she buried her nose against the skin of his neck. The slight sheen of sweat on his skin smelled so good, so male, and her whole being flooded with desire.

  Suzanna pressed closer and relished the feel of hard muscle against her softness. She thought she could feel all of him, but he was fully clothed and she was naked. The rough material of his shirt teased her breasts, her nipples drawing, hardening, jutting against his chest. She felt his gaze rake her, and his hand reached to palm her feminine fullness. His thumb grazed the pebbled peak of nipple and made the floor give way once more. She moaned deep in her throat, passion’s cry for more.

  Her hands searched restlessly for a way to touch the smooth flesh of Jake’s body. Helping her, he lifted the tail of his shirt loose from his trousers and she found smooth skin stretched over taught ridge and valley. Pausing her exploration, she frowned.

  “What?” Jake asked, his voice hard with desire.

  “Not fair,” she complained. “You can see all of me; I can see none of you.” Her fingertips plucked at the buttons on his shirt.

  With one swift move, he tore the offending garment from him and unbuckled the wide leather belt at his waist. One button at a time, he released the closure of his trousers. She watched with hungry eyes as they fell. He toed off his boots and, in a smooth maneuver, kicked everything aside. Standing before her in all his masculine glory, Jake let her look her fill.

  Suzanna gasped. Lord. Have. Mercy. He was magnificent. An artist’s masterpiece of strength and grace. Hard, strong; muscle and bone. His sex rising, swelling under her perusal, long and thick. With trembling fingers, she reached out and gently touched him.

  “You are big, and I am small. Your body is hard, and mine is soft. You are strong, and I am not. We’re so different, you and I. A study in contrast, but the way we’re made to fit together is beautiful.”

  Her hand closed over him. “Love me, Jake. I want to feel like a woman. Your woman. Teach me to please you as you please me.”

  “What did I ever do to deserve you?” he whispered.

  “You came for me,” was her simple response.

  Jake took her in his arms and loved her. Worshiped her. Indulged her curiosity. Showed her what it meant to be a woman—a wife.

  It was beautiful, this act of love. Because that’s what it was. Not sex. Not only sex. His strong frame cocooned her, muscles flexing, hips stroking in mutual rhythm, driving them higher and higher to she knew not where.

  Suzanna broke from his kiss, murmured his name, as his mouth trailed her neck and the sensitive hollow of her shoulder. She reveled in the feel of him buried deep inside her.

  She crested wave after wave as he moved, and something built within her. Something inevitable and wonderful she could not name. It took control and pulsed with a driving need all its own. Her eyes rolled back in her head.

  “No,” he commanded. “Open your eyes. Look at me. I want to see you when you come.”

  Time suspended.

  The waning light dimmed.

  “Jake, please. I need you to…”

  She was powerless against the passion his body tore from her. She spiraled higher and higher, far above the mountains and the sky, all the way to the stars above and the void beyond. Faster and faster he took her. Suzanna held tight as she moaned her need with every deep stroke and forceful thrust. A frenzy took hold of her, and her eyes flew wide.

  She broke from his kiss. “Jake, what is happen…?”

  “It’s all right, Suzanna. Let it come. Let it happen. I’m right here with you.”

  Suzanna felt herself churning toward the unknown, unable to define it, unable to stop it. Her nails dug into Jake’s skin. She feared she’d drawn blood, but still couldn’t stop. If she did, she would fall off the spinning world, and Jake was all that held her to it. The fierce burning in his eyes urged her on, and she rocked with broken breath as he mastered her body.

  Unbearable need; unforgettable tension. Their eyes locked, and she arched up to meet him. His thrusts deep and powerful, the pleasure like nothing she had ever before experienced or could explain.

  Suddenly his face tensed, the cords on each side of his neck erupted like granite sentinels, and he ground into her with one last, mighty cry. She felt his hot seed jet into her womb, and the pure sensation of it triggered a burst of pleasure that exploded into a thousand splinters of light, like stars shooting across the heavens, one after another after another until they finally expelled their energy and burned into oblivion. Her chest heaved, and she struggled for breath. The weight of his body crushed her, and she squirmed until he shifted to the side. Myriads of tiny shocks pulsed at her core when he moved. The pleasure, pure and explosive, seemed not to be over.

  Jake rolled to the side, his body disengaging, and she shivered at the loss. Dragging long, deep breaths of air into her lungs, they lay together until their breathing returned to normal. Suzanna rolled and rested her head on his shoulder, her arm across his chest. Aftershocks pulsed in her body, and she held her breath with each one as long as she could, not wanting the pleasure to end.

  Jake uttered no words, but the bone-shaking sigh he released spoke volumes. After a time, he brushed his lips across hers and whispered into her mouth, his breath mixing with hers, “You make me happy, Suzanna. I built this place by sweat and tears and thought I had everything a man could want. But I had no one to share it with and wrote Nathan to find me a woman. He found you. I never thought I’d feel like this. You’re amazing.” He held her as sleep claimed him, and when she rolled to move away, he pulled her close.

  He’d captured her. Heart. Body. Soul. She burrowed into him, closed her eyes, and let sleep overtake her.

  Jake reached for her in the night. For a moment, she was disoriented. Confused. In a strange room, a strange bed, and unaccustomed to sleeping with a man. But when he tenderly caressed her breast, she made no attempt to stifle her response to her husband. She was as consumed as he with their lovemaking, powerless to fight the onslaug
ht of passion. Not wanting to stop, again she raced with him through the soft cocooning darkness. Surrendering herself, each piece of her. Everything. To him.

  Suzanna grasped her husband and held on. Again, he drove them relentlessly toward release, taking them higher and higher until she cried out, consumed by his love.

  “How am I ever going to get enough of you?” he asked, rolling onto his back, taking her with him, keeping them one, not ready to break the connection.

  She snuggled beneath his chin, content, unable to speak, to move. Unbelievably, she felt his thickness pulse within her and smiled. She tightened her inner muscles and squeezed in answer. So intimate, beyond any imagining. She raised to sit astride him, full upon his manhood, and gazed down at him through languid eyes.

  Eyes closed, a slight smile on his lips. He looked at peace, completely sated. His broad shoulders relaxed into the feather mattress, the only movement the flexing of his muscles as he pulled her down and stroked and soothed her.

  Warm, rough hands idly caressed the bumps of her spine all the way to her bottom. She whispered against his strong chest, “Jake, is it always like this—between a man and a woman, I mean? There are no secrets left for me to share. You know all of me now. We were two; now we are one. So strange. I’ve given you all I have, yet I only want to give you more. What have you done to me, my sweet husband?”

  “Only this.” And proceeded to show her.

  When at last they were sated, Suzanna lay by Jake’s side, her back to his front, head on the muscles of his enveloping arm. Her wedding night. As wanton as she had behaved, she should feel ashamed…but she didn’t. She felt happy. Well-loved.

  Her last conscious thought, before sleep blanketed her, was that they could have made a baby together tonight, and she fell into oblivion with a smile on her face, dreaming of soft downy heads and tiny cuddly bodies.

  A baby. A…sweet…sweet…baby.

  Chapter Thirteen

  But they didn’t.

  April faded into May, and May into June. Each month Suzanna prayed for the baby she and Jake desperately wanted. Each month they faced the disappointment together.

  It seemed impossible, and it was not for lack of trying. Jake was a virile and attentive husband; he turned to her every night. Yet there were no signs of a pregnancy. Suzanna hid her concern and occupied herself with wifely duties around the house. She and Martha worked well together, and she found in the older woman a substitute for the mother she’d lost.

  The ranch was a thriving community, and someone always needed something. A cut attended to, a child with a fever. Two more babies made their arrival, and she brought them into the world with capable hands and bittersweet smiles.

  “I don’t know what we did without you, Suzanna,” Martha often told her. “You’re a part of us now, and I thank the Lord for it.”

  She spent a great deal of time becoming acquainted with the families living on the ranch. Anything to take her mind off the disappointment when her monthly courses appeared. She worried that something was wrong—that she might never conceive.

  How would Jake feel about that? He’d married her—at least in the beginning—to get sons. What if it never happened?

  Each month Jake waited for good news and, with the disappointed shake of Suzanna’s head, reassured her over and over he was content with her. But each month she noticed a white line around his mouth and the tick of a muscle in his jaw when she shared the news.

  He wouldn’t admit it, wouldn’t hurt her that way, but he was disappointed. It was obvious. She saw the flash of regret in his eyes before he hid it with a hug or encouraging smile. He was almost unbearably kind, and she appreciated he was determined not to upset her further.

  Suzanna began to fear she was barren. The entire ranch was on baby-watch. As in any small community, news spread through the wives, then to the husbands. Compassionate glances often came her way, along with a special touch or smile. Meant to encourage her, their efforts only made her circumstances worse. Each month she did not conceive, her confidence slipped a little more. Her laugh came less often; her smile a little less bright. She put on a good front and worked harder than ever around the ranch. But it was obvious to those who knew her best she was bothered by the turn of events.

  To add insult to injury, Maddie Holloway shyly confided she was again with child, and Suzanna cattily remarked to Martha, “It certainly didn’t take her and Lon long to expand their family.”

  Surprised that she would make a remark so unlike her, Martha glanced up. She understood the stress Suzanna felt about her difficulty in conceiving, and hugged her shoulders in a gesture of sympathy.

  “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “That was unworthy of me. I’m happy for Maddie, truly I am.”

  “It’ll happen in God’s own time, Suzanna. Don’t you fret. You’re strong and young. You and Mister Jake will have a brood of chicks before long. Sometimes the more you want something, the harder you try—well, it only takes longer. You haven’t been married a year yet. Give it time. No need to worry. It’ll happen, honey. You’ll see,” her friend encouraged her.

  Patience became her enemy, but there was nothing she could do. Worrying about it accomplished nothing. So practical Suzanna took the bull by the horns and turned into busy Suzanna, paying attention to her summer garden and making plans to open a school in the fall.

  She set about making lists of what she would need, planning lessons, and gathering materials. She made frequent visits to the cottages of the families with school-age children, trying to get to know her students and their parents. There weren’t many, so it didn’t take long to recognize their names, learn about their families, and begin to assess their strengths and abilities.

  As she became familiar with the children living on the ranch, she was able to work out a strategy, grouping them according to their abilities rather than ages. Some had been taught the basics by their mothers; others had gone a little beyond. Jake allowed anyone who wanted use of his library, and two of the older girls frequently slipped in and borrowed a book.

  They were all fairly young, with little formal schooling. Reading, writing, and arithmetic would be the first objectives. Just the basics until she learned their potential. She planned on introducing literature and geography later in the year when all the children were more proficient in their primary skills.

  One afternoon, she made her way to a large stone building standing near a copse of trees that grew by the last barn on the property. Double doors swung into the large cool interior. One gigantic room, perfect for a school. It was in adequate condition and only needed a good cleaning to make it ready. It would do nicely.

  They would have to dig an outhouse, build desks or long tables, and chairs or benches. And they’d need a blackboard, but otherwise… Otherwise it was perfectly suitable. She would talk to Jake about ordering what she needed from Laramie City.

  Anxious to get started, she tied her hair in a kerchief and set about sweeping the dust from the floors. Searching for water, she spied a pump out back and a bucket hanging on the wall near the door. She emptied a few bucketfuls onto the stone floor and used her broom to sweep the dirty water out the door. Satisfied that it was clean, she swept the small covered porch.

  Standing back to admire her efforts, she thought she noticed movement in the cover of the trees.

  “Is anyone there?” she called. “Hello?”

  Nothing. Experiencing the strangest feeling that someone was watching, she hurried back to the main house. There was much more to be done, but the floors of the schoolhouse needed to dry. Tomorrow would be soon enough to tackle the next task.

  In the morning, Suzanna headed out after breakfast. Surreptitiously surveying her surroundings, she felt no strange sensations, no evidence of another person, and quickly turned to the chores at hand. Pumping a bucket of water, she shaved a small portion of lye soap into it, stirred the concoction to dissolve the soap, and set about cleaning the grime from the windows.

  She�
��d been working for a while when the same eerie feeling hit, and she shivered. Once again she sensed someone watching her. Turning full circle to see if she could spot anyone, she didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, yet she couldn’t shake the disturbing impression that someone was there. No riders in the distance, no one lurking by the tree line, not even a ranch hand busy with daily chores. Nothing. Only underbrush, hills, and prairies were visible.

  The constant Wyoming breeze whipped through the trees, causing them to creak and groan. That’s all it was. Still, she’d become accustomed to the sounds of the ranch, and this was different. Not natural. Human. An inner voice cautioned her to pay attention to her surroundings. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to come here alone—but there was so much that needed to be done. She would make sure to have someone with her the next time she came. Meanwhile, she had done all that could be done, for now. Promising herself to be careful, she returned to the task at hand.

  The crates from Alabama had arrived last week, and following them had come another shipment bringing primers, slates, chalk, and a few colorful maps that could be used in the classroom. Jake had wired Annie on his last visit to Laramie, and good friend that she was, she’d put together boxes of supplies for Suzanna’s school.

  A note was included, and Suzanna was happy to hear her friend’s sadness was easing from the trauma of Nathan’s death. Her phrases often included references to David, or St. John, as she called him. Evidently the marriage, however it was begun, was intact. She made no mention of being unhappy or discontented, and even reported her husband was doing a good job with the business. Jeremiah was growing like a young sapling. The mere thought of the baby made Suzanna yearn for a child of her own.

  Jake had shared her delight when the packages arrived. He’d thoughtfully purchased everything else she would need for the school. Dear, dear man. She was deeply in love with her husband, falling more under his spell every day. No use fighting it. His lovemaking, the way he treated her with respect and consideration, his humor, his care—How could she not?