Glitch (Glitch - Trilogy)

by Heather Anastasiu

  He scooted closer still, taking my hand from my chest monitor and entwining his fingers with mine.

  “Hate’s a strong emotion, but…” He paused, looking down at our hands. His thumb rubbed mine, sending little popping sparks through me. “I like to think that love is stronger. Even though love makes no sense to me sometimes—that it even still exists seems like a miracle.”

  He closed his eyes, drawing back a bit. “I’ve seen so much. Hate and death and brokenness and pain. People trying to survive and failing.” His face looked haunted by the memories.

  “People hungry for power and willing to do anything to get it. But love?” He looked back up at me again. “A love that makes people sacrifice for one another—give up everything, even their lives? I never understood it.”

  “Adrien,” I said, squeezing his hand tighter.

  He leaned his forehead toward mine. “Love shouldn’t exist but it does. It’s the biggest anomaly, some might say the biggest defect, of the whole human race. But it’s the most beautiful anomaly. I understand that now. And I would give up anything for you, even if you don’t feel the same way.” He swallowed hard. “Because I love you.”

  He breathed out heavily and sat up. He put his elbows on his knees and rubbed his temple with both hands so that I could barely make out his face.

  I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I was still, too much in shock to fully understand what he was saying.

  He looked at me, uncertain of my reaction. His voice became distant suddenly. Detached. “I saw in a vision right before you returned to the Academy—I saw you and Max kissing. That’s why I haven’t said anything about how I feel. But the more time I spend with you, and after we kissed the other night, I just couldn’t not tell you.”

  “I do feel strongly for Max,” I said slowly. Adrien winced, so I hurried on. “But not in the way you think.” I sat up. “He was the first one who was there for me when I came back and was so scared and alone. But he always wanted something from me.” I paused. “More than I could give him. I didn’t know why. I only realized recently, and that’s why he and I got in a fight.”

  “You don’t have to explain to me,” he said quickly, shifting to get up and leave.

  “Adrien.” I grabbed his arm to stop him. “The fight was about you. Because I told him of what I feel for you. Of what I think I’ve been feeling for a long time now but didn’t know how to put into words. I…” My voice trembled as I finally said it. “As much as Max means to me, I have stronger feelings for you. I don’t really even understand them, they’re so intense.”

  His face froze and he sank slowly back down to sit on the bed. “You do?” His voice was barely audible.

  I nodded and watched the uncertainty in his face slowly turn to hope like an unfurling bloom.

  “I think—” I started in a whisper, then took a confused breath. I looked away and felt a rush of memories. The confusion I’d felt at how Adrien’s touch made me feel, the electricity between us. But it was more than that. It was the times we’d spent talking. The connection I felt to him that was unlike anything I felt for anyone else in the world—the way he seemed to put all my feelings into words, the way he felt about life, his hopes and dreams, the way he’d opened up a new world for me. Being with him made me want to make my own dreams, discover my own path. I was my best self when I was with him. I looked back up, the realization flooding me like the brightest silver of happiness.

  “The way you describe it—it’s just how I feel. It’s love,” I said with awe, laughing with the joy of the discovery. I couldn’t believe one day could hold such wildly opposite emotions from one moment to the next. “I love you, Adrien.”

  He blinked rapidly, stunned. “Say it again,” he whispered.

  I laughed and pulled him close. “I love you,” I whispered in his ear. Then he grabbed me in his arms, squeezing me in a tight hug one second and then kissing me like he could never get enough the next.

  I laughed at his genuine, complete joy and kissed him back. We kissed for a long time, clutching each other clumsily at first, blinded by euphoria.

  Tomorrow, I’d think about all our problems tomorrow. Right now there was only this, only him.

  The flying sensation came again but it was like we were soaring together—like I couldn’t tell where my body ended and his began. He finally pulled back, still cupping my face in his hands.

  He laughed. “Zo, look up.”

  I did and saw my pillow levitating and spinning above our heads. I gasped in wonder and it fell, plopping on my head. Adrien just laughed and kissed me again.

  “I can barely cracking believe this is happening,” he said. “I mean, I’d seen you in my visions. I knew you were important to the Rez, but I hadn’t seen how important you’d become to me. My life’s been so hard for so long—and the world is too cracked to ever believe I’d get to be this happy.” He laughed, his eyes shining.

  His words made my insides light up.

  He pulled back a moment, staring at me as if convincing himself that I was actually there, in his arms. “I had that vision of you and Max and I thought I’d lost you.” His words came out in a rush. “And then you looked at me like I was no one, or worse, someone to fear. Just when I thought I’d made peace with the fact that you’d forgotten me forever, I’d spot some glimmer of recognition, some little hint that maybe…” There was water brimming at the edges of his eyes, and the pain he’d felt poured over into me. I wanted to take it away. I never wanted him to feel that way again.

  I cut him off with a soft kiss.

  “This is real,” I finally said. “We found each other again, and you’re never going to lose me,” I said.

  He smiled, leaning down to kiss me back, a deep kiss that let loose all the passion and fear and hurt and hope that must have built up inside him.

  Eventually he pulled away. It was getting late, but I didn’t want him to go.

  “Soon we’ll be away from here,” he whispered, one hand stroking the hair around my face. “You’ll be safe.”

  “Why are we suddenly leaving so soon?” I asked after a few quiet minutes. “What about my allergies?”

  He paused, his hand midstroke through my hair. His body tensed under my hands. “I just have a bad feeling,” he finally whispered. “Like I’m not seeing things right. I don’t know why I didn’t see what happened today coming.” His eyebrows cinched up in worry. “Something is off with my Gift. If I can’t trust my visions, we’re completely in the dark. It’s too risky.”

  I wrapped my arms around his chest and squeezed. “I’m sure your visions will sort themselves out.”

  I closed my eyes, wishing guiltily that I could stay like this forever. Suddenly I felt his body stiffen in my arms.

  My eyes flew open, thinking Markan or my parents had opened the door to my room, but it was firmly shut. I looked at Adrien. His face was frozen, his eyes vacant.

  “Adrien!” I whispered, shaking him. His body was rigid. He didn’t respond. My heart monitor was about to start vibrating, but then he blinked and looked like himself again.

  “Adrien, are you okay?”

  His face was pale and there was a sheen of sweat across his forehead. I’d seen that look before. He’d had a vision.

  “Was it Juan?” I asked worriedly.

  “No.” He looked at me, eyes wide. “We have to escape. Now. Tomorrow.”

  “What?” I sat up, matching his alarm. “Why, what did you see?”

  “Molla’s pregnant.”

  Chapter 21

  “WAIT, WHAT?” I ASKED, completely confused. “That’s not possible. She’s too young. They wouldn’t have let her into the fertility clinic.”

  “There are other ways.” He slammed his fist into his open palm. “Max! Godlam’d shunting fool,” he said, his face furious. He looked away. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just dropped it on you like that. I mean…” He swallowed. “I understand if you’re … jealous.”

  “I don’t understan
d,” I said quickly, “I thought he felt very intensely about me.”

  “Um, well…” He trailed off, looking up like he was trying to figure out the words. “Not everyone has strong feelings for just one person at a time.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “Anyway, the point is we have to get her out. Now. Molla’s never been the best at hiding her emotions. She won’t know what to do, and she’s going to know something’s wrong. Someone’s bound to find out. And if that happens, we’re all cracked.”

  I frowned. “Well, wait. It was a vision of the future, right? So maybe eventually they will, what did you call it? Fall in love. That’s good,” I said, smiling as I thought about it. “He should be happy with someone who can love him back.”

  “Zoe, it didn’t feel like something far off in the future. It seemed like she’s pregnant now. Present time. We have to get out immediately.”

  * * *

  I felt the tugging guilt when I looked at Markan at breakfast the next morning, but the feeling was followed by one of determination. I might have failed Daavd, but I would save Markan. We’d get him out. He’d be safe with me, and even if he didn’t turn out to be a glitcher, he’d be safe and free. The thought brought a flush of happiness.

  In spite of all the worries about Juan and Molla, I had to work hard not to break into a giant grin every time my thoughts wandered back to Adrien. My Adrien. I wished I could let out shouts of happiness that echoed down all the monotone tunnels. I wanted to dance on the gray subway platform and grin until my face cracked in half. I caught myself before I actually broke into a smile and, instead, sat down at the table to eat my protein patty.

  I noticed my father watching me, his gaze uncomfortably observant. I took a big bite of bread even though it felt thick in my throat. Just a little while longer, I thought. Just a little while longer and I’d be free from the stalking eye of the Community. Adrien said he’d arrange our escape and that it might even happen today. Then I could be myself. I could openly say, do, and feel as I pleased.

  Finally, what might be my last breakfast in the Community was done and I slipped through the front door. I walked the hallway of the housing unit, trying hard not to look like I was hurrying. There were a few people in the tunnel with me and I slowed my pace to match my impatient footsteps to their calm ones.

  One woman with short-cropped red hair broke out of the usual formation to walk very close beside me. I glanced over, but her face was neutral. We kept walking. She remained blank, but she stayed close to me. My mind raced. Was she a Monitor, or maybe a Rez agent? Was I caught, or was I rescued? I started cautiously scanning the tunnel in my peripheral vision, looking for an opening to turn down in case I needed to escape.

  The woman leaned over and whispered, “Turn in to the next service door.”

  My eyes widened but I kept my pace steady. Trying to look as non-anomalous as possible, I pulled open the next service door on my left as if it was something I did every day. The woman followed right behind me. The doors in the tunnels were the old manual kind, so at least I didn’t have to swipe my arm panel to open it. I looked around warily at the old equipment and pipes in the room until the woman shut the door quickly behind us.

  The woman’s image shimmered and then it was Max standing in front of me. I breathed out, unaware I’d been holding my breath in terror.

  “Zoe, you aren’t safe. We’ve got to escape, just you and me. Right now.”

  “Did Adrien send you?” I asked excitedly. “Is the plan ready.”

  “Zoe, listen to me!” he said, grabbing my arms. “I know you won’t want to believe it, but Adrien isn’t who you thought he was. He’s a Monitor. He’s been working for the Chancellor the whole time! He even reported Juan.”

  “Stop it!” I pulled away with a flash of anger. “I have had enough of your ridiculous suspicions. Now your feelings about him are actually becoming dangerous and right when he’s about to get us all safely out of here.”

  “I knew you wouldn’t believe me.” He shook his head, looking suddenly weary. “Maybe you’ll believe it when you hear it from his own mouth.” He dropped down and started setting up a tablet projection on the floor.

  “We don’t have time for this! We should be finding the Rez agents and getting Juan, Molla, and Markan out of here.”

  “That’s what I was doing when I found this,” he said, sounding furious. “I hid after school and impersonated a Regulator. I went to find out about the boy but they just looked at me strangely and said the boy had already been transported.”

  “Oh, no.” I sank down to sit beside him. We’d failed Juan. My stomach cramped up painfully at the thought. We missed our chance.

  “So then I snuck into the Chancellor’s office, thinking maybe she’d have a record of where he was being sent.”

  I looked up at Max in surprise. He noticed and laughed darkly. “Is it so surprising that I would try to help him, Zoe? Is that what you think of me?”

  “I’m sorry.” I put a hand on his arm. He’d taken so many risks.

  “When I was in her office, looking through her files, I found this. It’s dated two days ago.” His voice had turned grim.

  He clicked a fingernail-size drive into the tablet and the video began. It was a stable image of the Chancellor’s room. She was sitting at her desk and looked up. Another figure entered the room. My heart seemed to stop in my chest. Adrien.

  “Sit down,” the Chancellor said, and he sat in the chair directly across from the desk. “Have you had any visions recently?”

  “Yes,” Adrien said.

  “Tell me about them.”

  “There’s another boy who is glitching. Subject Juan T-73.”

  “It’s a fake,” I whispered my eyes glued to the image. “It’s not real. They could have altered this easily, after they’d caught Juan.”

  “Just keep watching,” Max said.

  On the video, the Chancellor paused and clicked open a 3-D directory. She tapped on a name and the face appeared in the cube of light. “Is this him?”

  Adrien leaned in. “Yes.”

  The Chancellor smiled, patting his hand. “Very good, Adrien. That is very helpful. Now, tell me more about the girl. Zoe.”

  Adrien shifted in his seat and didn’t say anything for a moment.

  “Tell me, Adrien.”

  “I have seen visions of her as the leader of the Resistance.” Adrien’s voice sounded oddly stilted.

  “You are helping her learn to control her powers?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does she suspect that you have been talking to me?”

  “No.”

  “She trusts you, then?”

  “Yes. She tells me things she tells no one else.”

  “Such as?”

  “She’s afraid for her brother, Markan. She fears he will be captured just like her other brother and that it will be her fault again.”

  The Chancellor nodded. “Good. If the visions of her are true … We will bide our time. It will be difficult, so stay near her. Keep her trust by whatever means necessary.”

  “Yes, Chancellor.”

  “And you administered the switched tube I gave you for her last allergy injection, correct?”

  “Yes, Chancellor.”

  “Excellent.” The Chancellor’s thin lips twisted into a smile. “Thank you. You are dismissed.”

  The video feed stopped and the screen went blank.

  My legs felt frozen.

  “It’s not true,” I whispered. “It’s not real. They just digitized Adrien’s image and voice and then manipulated it. It would be so easy for them to do.”

  “What about the things he was telling her?” Max said. “Did you know he was giving you injections, or did he disable you to do it?”

  I looked at Max in disbelief at what I’d just seen. “Yes, I knew about them,” I said. “They were for my allergy. So that I could survive on the Surface when we escaped. But this is all wrong. Fake. Adrien wouldn’t do that to me. He wou
ldn’t hurt me.”

  “Don’t you get it?” Max said angrily. “He’s the Chancellor’s tool. She’s using his visions to learn all about us. He’s a Monitor. Maybe they caught him out at his last Academy and made a bargain with him. Maybe he joined her voluntarily. Either way, we’ve got to get the hell out of here.”

  “No!” I said. “If you knew Adrien, you’d know this couldn’t be real.”

  “What about the other things he told her?” Max asked, looking angry but also pained, as if he knew he was hurting me but had to do it anyway. “The things you’ve told only him? About your allergies, your dreams, and about your brother? No one else knew that, Zoe. Not even me.”

  I shook my head, violently. “Then they must have cameras or audio devices in my room.”

  He pulled away from me angrily. “Why are you refusing to see what’s right in front of your face! He tricked you. He used you. He played on the fact that you’re naïve, that you’ve never felt those kinds of emotions before. That you’re so damned trusting!

  “It’s all a lie, he just told you what you wanted to hear. And if we don’t make a break for it right now before they know we’ve figured them out, they’ll deactivate us or turn us back into drones. They’ve already got Molla, and I only barely managed to escape to come find you. Come with me, Zoe. Let’s get the hell out of here before it’s too late!”

  “No…” My voice broke and tears brimmed over. No, no, no. I paused, torn. I trusted Adrien without question, absolutely. I loved him.

  But what if I couldn’t trust my feelings? What if Max was right and Adrien had been manipulating me? There was still so much I didn’t know about him, so much I didn’t know about this world, let alone the world that might or might not exist outside it. What could I trust?

  “What about when I went missing?” I asked, still trying to work things out. “He helped me escape.”

  “You can’t even remember that time clearly, Zoe,” Max said. “They probably took you away to run some tests and experiments on you. They could’ve implanted false memories so you’d trust him. You know they can do that.”

  His eyes opened wide as if he just thought of something. “Zoe, he must have had a vision of me trying to get you and Molla out. That’s why all this is happening now.”