Tigers on the Run

by Sean Kennedy

  “That’s not such a bad thing.”

  “Mum will be happy to hear that.”

  “She gave you a lot of good qualities. Unfortunately she also gave you your fear of conflict.”

  “Well… I had to have some flaws.”

  I led him to the couch, and he lay with his back against my chest. “Only a couple, you perfect—practically flawless—human being.”

  “I can hear the laugh about to erupt.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m containing it. But let’s sleep on it.”

  I was already drowsy with the warmth of him in my arms. With most conflicts (bar Coby) resolved, peace found us again. By the time the afternoon sun began to slip away we were asleep wrapped up in each other.

  THE NEXT day, as Coby was still refusing to respond to my messages, I did what felt like the unfathomable.

  I rang Jasper Brunswick.

  “Why are you calling me?” he demanded.

  “How did you know it was me?”

  “I didn’t,” he said, quickly.

  “Oh, you always answer your phone that way?”

  “I thought it was my mother.”

  “Oh. Poor Mrs. Brown.”

  “Brunswi—” he cut himself off as he realised there was no way his mother possibly used his fake name as well. “What do you want, Simon? I’m not in the mood.”

  “You knew it was me. You have my number programmed into your phone, don’t you?”

  He was rattled. “You’re an industry contact. It is necessary to try and speak to you sometimes—”

  “You like me! You really like me!” The Sally Field imitation was a frequently-used one, and I knew Jasper would be the one gay in my life who would get it.

  “I’m warning you—”

  “I’m scared, Jasper. Really, I am. But I’m trying to find Coby.”

  A lengthy pause. “What makes you think I know where he is?”

  “Because you’re going out with him.”

  “We broke up, if you must know.”

  “So I heard. But here’s the thing. Coby was in love with you, and from what he told me, you were supposedly in love with him. So I was thinking to myself, if Coby quit his job, who would be the first person he would want to talk to about it? And after going through a list of roughly two thousand and four people, I finally thought of you.”

  “He quit his job?”

  Jasper wasn’t faking. He wasn’t that good an actor. This was news to him, as it was news to me that he didn’t know.

  “Yes. He said he’d broken up with you because of the story, which, really, I have to have words with you about—”

  “Save it,” Jasper said.

  “No, I won’t bloody save it! Do you know how irresponsible you’re being? We’re talking about a kid here—”

  “I’ll call you back,” Jasper said, and hung up.

  Fuming, I threw my phone… into the couch, where it landed safely, nestled by cushions. Those things are fucking expensive, and not worth destroying over someone like Jasper Brunswick.

  “Did that go as well as I think it did?” Dec yelled from the study.

  “My phone isn’t broken!” I yelled back.

  “Okay… good?”

  I wondered if Jasper would even call again.

  COBY’S FACE flashed upon my phone an hour later. Even though I hadn’t heard from Jasper, it was too convenient a coincidence for Coby’s call not to be because of him. That meant I was probably indebted to him in some way, and I was not going to follow the advice of Lionel Richie and dance upon the ceiling in celebration.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Simon.”

  “Who is this?” I couldn’t help myself.

  “I’ll see you Monday morning.” And he hung up.

  I was tired of being hung up on people, and it was damn presumptuous of him to think he could just waltz back into the office without some kind of reconciliation process.

  Declan stuck his head out of the study door. “Everything okay?”

  I shrugged. “Not yet.”

  Chapter 13

  A COFFEE so hot the beans were still screaming was pushed under my nose.

  “Is that all?” I asked.

  It was joined by a lemon slice.

  “Still not enough.”

  Coby sat opposite me, and I have to say he did look apologetic.

  “Morning,” he said.

  “Not the first word I expected out of your mouth.”

  “Good morning?”

  “Take your coffee and your lemon slice if you’re going to be like that.”

  Coby reached across and placed his hand over mine. I looked down at it. It seemed overly intimate, as the most we ever did was hug (and that was usually forced upon me).

  “I’m sorry. I really am.”

  “You can’t just chuck a fit and walk out, Coby. This is a place of business. I know we’re friends, but I have to be the boss in this situation. Any other person might have kept you unemployed after that bullshit.”

  “I know. I was upset.”

  “It’s because we’re friends that you can come back.”

  “I can?”

  “But I mean it, Coby. It was unacceptable. Especially when I tried to call you all weekend to give you the chance to come back. And then to hang up on me last night, telling me you’d be in today, as if there was no other possible resolution that may have been reached by myself.”

  “I’m not disputing that.”

  “What made you call me?” I knew the answer, but I was interested to see if he would admit it.

  “Jasper told me you called him. I was impressed you did. I know how much you would have had to suck up to do it. There’s probably missing floors from your building.” He faltered under the look I was currently giving him. “Okay, we’re obviously not back at the humour stage.”

  I shook my head.

  “Don’t you think you’re taking this a little bit seriously?”

  “If I am,” I said, “it’s because you’re not at all.”

  And I was suddenly hurt by that. This was a professional business, and he had walked out on it and just expected to swan back in as if nothing had happened. This wasn’t going to fix itself with a latte and a lemon slice.

  “I guess I better get to work,” Coby said.

  I nodded, and turned my attention back to my desktop.

  He closed the door between our offices. That was never done this early in the morning.

  No sooner had I gotten stuck into my e-mails than the work phone rang. And rang. Coby was apparently ignoring part of his job description, so I picked it up.

  “Simon Murray.”

  “What are you doing, answering the phone?”

  “It is my office.”

  Nyssa didn’t sound happy. “Did Coby not come back to work?”

  “No, he’s here… wait! How did you even know he quit?”

  “Dec told me.”

  “When did you speak to Dec?”

  “Just before I called you. What are you, the conversation police?”

  “Well, I just don’t even know what’s going on with anybody anymore. I wish people would bring out newsletters so I could keep up.”

  “Oh, poor Simon,” Nyssa said. “But why isn’t Coby doing his job?”

  “Because he’s unprofessional and a dickhead. And he’s not you.”

  “I could be a dickhead. If I wanted to.”

  “You never were.”

  “Do you want me to come back?”

  “Yes!”

  “Sorry. I can’t.”

  “Give me a dream, and snatch it back. You can be a dickhead.”

  She sounded pleased with herself. “Thank you.”

  “So, what’s up?”

  “I just wanted to check in with my boys. I woke up this morning feeling like something was changing. I’m not sure what is, but all the signs are there.”

  “Signs?”

  “Yes, signs.” She didn’t elaborate.

  “
You haven’t been drinking the sheep’s milk again, have you?”

  “Oh, Simon. It’s not all about sheep here. Although it very often is. But something’s about to happen. I don’t know what, I don’t know when, and I don’t know who, but I know it will happen.”

  Well, that was about as specific as most star signs for the day. “I’ll make sure to keep an eye open.”

  “It may not be you. But it probably is.”

  It usually was.

  “Now, lovely boy, patch me through to my replacement. We need to have words.”

  I wished I could listen in.

  AN HOUR later, a chastened Coby slipped into my office with a fresh coffee for me. “Sorry I didn’t answer the phone earlier. I was… halfway back from the loo and didn’t get to it on time.”

  “That’s okay,” I said, taking the coffee off him. “Who was on the phone just then?”

  “Accounts,” he lied.

  I sipped my coffee. It was damn good.

  “LOOK, I do understand where you’re coming from,” Dec said as we walked along the Yarra on the way home. I had wanted to take the long route and distract myself with pretty views (besides the obvious one of Declan himself). “You’re right about the professionalism. But you and Coby have never really had any boundaries between workplace and personal lives. But you never did with Nyssa either.”

  “Nyssa never pushed them like this.”

  “That’s true. But this is also the first time Coby has.”

  “Fucking Jasper Brunswick.”

  “Yeah, good thing Nyssa never did that.”

  It was so rare that Dec went for the Benny Hill punch line; I stared at him open mouthed, and he burst out laughing.

  “What? Surely I can say shit like that once in a while.”

  “It’s just surprising.”

  “I like surprising you.”

  I put my arm through his, feeling very Edwardian.

  He smiled at his feet, pleased I was taking the initiative with a PDA.

  I liked surprising him, too.

  BUT THINGS had changed between Coby and me. Not even the phone call from Nyssa granted that much of a reprieve. We went through the motions; we said good morning, we talked about work, we had lunch at the same time—but there was the spark of comradeship missing between us. It was like two actors who had to play good friends but didn’t know each other from a bar of soap and had no rehearsal time before being thrown together on stage.

  So work wasn’t fun. And those times after work had become strained as well. We all avoided group activities. Coby made a show of seeing Roger and Fran, knowing it would get back to me through them. They were uncomfortable by this, especially as it meant they had to see Jasper Brunswick as well.

  Yes, Coby was back with Jasper. Their breakup had been a very short affair—probably fifty hours at the most. They were already back together by the time I finally spoke to Coby.

  “Things will improve,” Dec said.

  He was always an optimist, but he was missing Coby, too. Coby had become his surrogate little brother as well. Declan was the baby of his own family, and I think that was what caused him to be such a mother hen with other people. Coby fed the side of him that wanted to nurture everybody he came across.

  Luckily I had Dec’s documentary to focus on. Coby didn’t really have much to do with it, as it was under Dec’s charity, not our channel’s production house. However, as I had hired some of our staff in a nepotistic act, the lines were pretty blurred.

  I was surprised the week after everything had returned to “normal” when I came back early from a meeting and overheard Coby on the phone.

  “No, he’s still acting cold. I’m expecting him to burst out into ‘Let It Go’ at any moment, except he doesn’t want to let it go at all.” He paused, listening to the other end of the line. “What do you mean, I don’t want to let it go either? Listen, Jasper….”

  I almost fainted, but grabbed the filing cabinet to support myself. Jasper Brunswick? Saying something that sounded suspiciously like he was supporting me a tiny bit? Maybe Coby knew another Jasper?

  “Why are you defending him? You hate him!”

  Nope, it was Jasper Brunswick all right.

  “You don’t hate him? Oh, okay, I should get over myself. Yes, I know I quit. Yes, and he took me back. And… oh, piss off.”

  He hung up, and I quickly back stepped out of the office enough so he thought I was just coming in.

  “You’re back early.”

  “Gigi had to cut the conference call short.”

  “Oh.”

  “Everything okay?”

  Coby overenthusiastically started shuffling some documents around on his desk. “Dandy. Just dandy.”

  I turned my head so he wouldn’t see the smirk playing across my lips.

  ABE AND Lisa came over for drinks that night. I could hear Abe mentioning Jasper, but Lisa had cornered me and I couldn’t break away.

  “Do you think Micah has a crush on Dec?”

  “No,” I said. “Why would he?”

  “Oh, come on. Imagine you’re a horny seventeen-year-old boy.”

  “Imagine? I lived that life once upon a time.”

  “Okay, then imagine a man like Declan Tyler is spending a lot of time with you. Don’t tell me he’s not pining away with fantasies of him and going through a box of Kleenex a night.”

  “Don’t say that!” I protested. “That’s really disturbing.”

  But what was also disturbing was that I could believe it. Who wouldn’t be infatuated with Dec?

  “Besides,” I said. “He’s got a boyfriend, apparently. Emma said so.”

  “Doesn’t mean he’s not jerking it off to the fantasies of others. And who’s Emma?”

  I took her drink off her and sniffed it. “How much rum did you put in that?”

  “Enough. Who’s Emma?”

  “The token lesbian of GetOut. For now. But she has amazing contacts into every other kid’s life.”

  “If Micah did have a crush on Dec, it would explain why he hates you so much. You got the fantasy in real life.”

  “Yeah, who snores and is anally retentive about cleaning.”

  “And you love it.”

  “I can handle the snoring, not the hospital-clean level of tidiness. No, I think Micah just hates me because I’m me.”

  “Yeah, that must be it,” Lisa giggled.

  With the lapse in our conversation, I heard Abe say, “Maybe Jasper is finally growing up.”

  Lisa rejoined their conversation. “The leopard has grown stripes?”

  “It can happen,” Dec agreed.

  “Declan,” I said. “You’re very sweet.”

  “Uh-oh.” Abe looked like he was about to dive for cover.

  “And?” Declan asked.

  “Nothing,” I said, surprised. “You’re just very sweet.”

  “Jasper Brunswick’s an arse,” Lisa said.

  We all looked at her.

  “What? He is an arse.”

  “No more drinks for you,” Dec said.

  “What? I’m not driving!”

  “Because you live four floors down,” Abe reminded her.

  “Coby’s an arse, too,” she mumbled.

  Abe and Declan now looked at me.

  “I’m saying nothing.”

  “That’s a first,” Lisa said, amused by herself.

  “Don’t you dare laugh,” I told Abe and Dec, pointing at them accusatorially.

  Abe shook his head, his lips pursed together forcefully. Dec fumbled towards me and kissed me.

  I think I surprised him again when I hugged him and kept him in.

  LIFE CONTINUED on in that vein for a few weeks. I still had my problems with Coby, and Dec had his problems with Micah. Although Micah had been showing up to training and participating in other group activities, he wasn’t there in spirit.

  “I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Dec told me one night, “but I almost wish he would start acting the lit
tle shit again so I know he’s okay.”

  “Be careful what you wish for,” I told him.

  “Yeah, but sometimes it’s better the devil you know.”

  I jumped on top of him. “Now you’re quoting Kylie! We were meant to be together.”

  “I actually didn’t mean to, but if it makes you happy, I should be so lucky.”

  Perfect boyfriend material.

  And my family agreed. They were never at pains to point it out, either.

  “I saw you commentating the game on Sunday,” Mum said as she finally sat down at the dinner table. The Murrays had fallen into a habit of a family dinner once a fortnight and, truth be told, it wasn’t as bad as I ever thought it would be.

  “You see him commentating every week during the season, Ma,” I said.

  “I thought you looked very handsome in blue,” Mum told Dec.

  “He usually wears a blue suit,” I reminded her.

  Dec, flushed with embarrassment, stared down at his plate.

  “Geez, Mum,” Tim said. “Why don’t you just marry him?”

  “Because he’s gay,” Gabby reminded him.

  “Oh, yeah, I forgot,” Dec murmured.

  Gabby laughed and rubbed his arm.

  “I tell you, Dec, having you around is not good for any man’s ego,” Tim said.

  “He can’t help it if he has looks, talent, sporting prowess—”

  “Enough!” I said, interrupting Gabby. “Can someone pass the gravy?”

  Dec did so.

  “Oh, Declan!” I simpered. “The way you passed that gravy… so graceful, and yet so masculine!”

  Tim sniggered, and Dec gave me the finger.

  “Not in front of the kids!” Mum yelled, reminding us there were three goggle-eyed children sitting with us and taking every single little detail in.

  “Daddy does that all the time,” Nikki informed her.

  Tim gave her the thumbs up.

  “There’s no hope for them,” Dad said.

  “I’ve seen Uncle Simon do it, too,” Jock continued.

  “And now Uncle Dec,” Nikki chimed in.

  “I’m sorry, Nikki,” Dec said. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “Mummy does it, too.”