Aunt Bessie Assumes: An Isle of Man Cozy Mystery

by Diana Xarissa

  “Never mind that,” Bessie patted his hand. “What sort of mood was Mr. Pierce in when you talked to him after you found me?”

  “I'm not sure that drunk to nearly incapacitated is a mood,” Hugh answered, “but that was what he was.”

  “I thought he went out for a drive,” Bessie said.

  “He did; I just wish one of our patrols had seen him go by and stopped him. No doubt his hotshot lawyers would have got him off, but we might have been able to make him sweat a bit. There's no way he should have been driving, although I gather he'd welcomed himself home with another double whisky before I got there.”

  “Maybe I'm just overtired or over-medicated,” Bessie told the others, “but I'm feeling befuddled.”

  “We need to let you get some sleep, then,” Doona said. “Let's get you up to bed and all tucked in.”

  Bessie was in too much pain to argue. She let Doona lead her up the stairs, climbing slowly with one hand firmly gripping the handrail. In spite of her protests that she could manage, Doona insisted on helping her change and supervised her while she brushed her teeth and washed her face.

  “Honestly, I'm not five years old and I'm not an invalid,” Bessie grumbled as Doona helped her climb into bed.

  “You snuggle down,” Doona said soothingly. “I'll go and get your painkillers.”

  Bessie was still struggling to find a comfortable position when Doona returned. She swallowed the proffered tablet without complaint.

  “I'll be sleeping in the spare room,” Doona told Bessie as she tucked the covers around her. “Hugh will be on the couch. Just shout if you need anything.”

  “You both don't have to stay,” Bessie said. “I'm sure I'll be fine.”

  “Yes, well, we're staying and there's no point in you arguing.”

  Doona started to leave, but Bessie caught her hand. “Thank you,” she said softly.

  “You're very welcome,” Doona replied, giving Bessie's hand a gentle squeeze before she left, softly pulling the door shut behind her.

  Bessie was vaguely aware of Doona checking on her once or twice in the night. She obediently took a second pain tablet at some point as well.

  The sun was shining at her window when Bessie finally woke up properly the next morning. Doona was sitting in a chair next to the bed.

  “What time is it?” Bessie croaked through dry lips.

  “Nearly nine,” Doona answered. “If you’re ready to get up now I'll help you through the shower.”

  Bessie wanted to argue, but as she struggled out of bed she realised that Doona was right. She was going to need a helping hand this morning.

  Doona was brisk and efficient as she helped Bessie through her morning routine, an attitude that did much to assuage Bessie's embarrassment as they went along. In less time than she thought possible, Bessie was showered and dressed and on her way down the stairs for some breakfast.

  As the two women reached the bottom of the steps, they looked at each other and giggled. Hugh's loud snores were nearly shaking the cottage's foundations.

  “I almost took one if your tablets to help me sleep,” Doona told Bessie. “That snoring kept me awake all night.”

  “I don't understand why it doesn't keep him awake,” Bessie replied.

  “I guess he's used to it,” Doona shrugged. “I feel sorry for any woman he gets involved with, though.”

  Bessie grinned at her friend and the pair headed into the kitchen. Doona popped the kettle on and plugged in the toaster.

  “If you want anything more exotic than toast or cereal,” she told Bessie, “you'll have to wait and see if Hugh can make it. I don't cook in the morning, not even when I'm looking after my friends.”

  “Toast and some juice is fine with me,” she told Doona. “I'm not a big breakfast eater really, but I know I'm supposed to eat something, so I always force myself.”

  The ladies were on their second cup of tea when Hugh finally appeared in the doorway, scratching his head and frowning. “I meant to be up hours ago,” he said apologetically. “I know it’s Sunday, but it feels like we should all be up and doing something.”

  Doona smiled. “I’ve been thinking that same thing,” she said. “I think we need to set a trap for the killer.”

  Hugh raised his eyebrows as he made himself some tea. “That sounds dangerous.”

  “It won’t be,” Doona promised. “Look, we know the killer is someone at Thie yn Traie, right?”

  “I’m not sure ‘know’ is the right word,” Bessie answered. “I mean, we don’t know what Jack White has been saying. Inspector Kelly seems to think that he’s the guilty party.”

  “If they were sure he was guilty, they would have already made a big announcement about his arrest,” Doona replied. “I’m sure he’s guilty of lots of other things, but they can’t have found any evidence to tie him to the murders or else we would all know about it. No, the murderer has to be someone from the Pierce family circle.”

  “Even if we agree with you, so what?” Hugh asked as he buttered himself four slices of toast.

  “Whoever it is, they already tried to get rid of Bessie once. I think we should give him or her another chance.”

  “Excuse me?” Bessie said sharply.

  “We won’t really let you get killed,” Doona assured her.

  “Oh, well, thanks very much for that,” Bessie said sarcastically.

  Doona laughed. “No, really, what we need to do is tell everyone at Thie yn Traie that we have to leave you alone for a short time. Hopefully, the murderer will see that as his or her chance to finish you off. Hugh and I will really be here the whole time, of course. We’ll be able to stop whoever it is before you get hurt.”

  Hugh shook his head. “Too dangerous,” he said firmly. “Bessie’s already all beat up. I don’t want to put her in any more danger.”

  “But this could be our chance to catch the killer,” Doona argued. “It would be good for your career, besides getting a killer locked away.”

  “My career isn’t as important as Bessie’s health,” Hugh said testily. “Your proposal is too risky.”

  As Doona started to speak again, Bessie held up a hand. “Stop arguing about this like I’m not even here,” she said. She took a sip of tea, glaring at each of them in turn when it looked like they might try to speak.

  “Right, then,” Bessie said eventually. “Let’s talk about this like adults, instead of squabbling like children.” She held up a hand as both Doona and Hugh opened their mouths.

  “Don’t argue,” she said. “Doona, I think your idea has some merit, but Hugh, I also understand your concerns. Let’s see if we can come up with a way to put the plan into place while minimising the risks, shall we?”

  “I don’t like it,” Hugh muttered.

  “I don’t like it, either,” Bessie answered. “But I also don’t like trying to sleep at night knowing that there is a murderer out there somewhere, probably close by. I’m sure that Inspector Rockwell will figure it all out eventually, but if we can take a shortcut somehow, it may be worth it.”

  “Maybe we should call Inspector Rockwell and see what he thinks of the idea,” Hugh suggested.

  “I don’t think we should disturb the inspector on a Sunday,” Doona said. “Let him have some time at home with his family. If we can pull this off, we’ll have to call him later, anyway.”

  “That is such a big ‘if,’” Bessie sighed. “Wasn’t it you who warned me about getting all caught up in being Miss Marple when this all started?” she asked Doona. “Now who’s trying to play at being the detective?”

  Doona blushed. “I know it sounds kind of crazy,” she admitted. “But I’m tired of sitting around waiting for someone else to solve this case. I just keep thinking that we have everything we need to get the killer to walk right into our trap.”

  “What do we have?” Hugh asked.

  “Well,” Doona blushed again. “Bessie.”

  Bessie laughed. “That’s it? You think I’m enough of a tempt
ation?”

  “Whoever it was, they already tried to kill you once. I bet they’d like another go. Presumably, they thought you were a threat or they wouldn’t have pushed you in the first place. We have to assume that they still think that.”

  “But surely they should expect that I’ve told the police everything I know by now,” Bessie argued.

  “We could say that you’re still dazed and confused. We can tell everyone that you don’t remember much of anything from the last week or so,” Doona suggested.

  “Who exactly are you planning to tell all this to?” Hugh asked.

  “Well, um,” Doona shook her head. “I guess Bahey would be the best place to start,” she said finally. “I haven’t thought it all the way through yet.”

  “I don’t know whether I should stay and try to talk you out of this or leave now before I get fired for taking part in your crazy scheme,” Hugh complained.

  “If you don’t want to get involved, we understand,” Doona told him. “I would hate for you to get fired over this.”

  “And yet, if I leave, you’ll still go through with your plans, won’t you?” he challenged. “And when the murderer kills you both, I’ll have to live with knowing I could have stopped it.”

  Doona laughed. “No one is going to kill anyone else,” she said firmly. “Whether you help us with the plan or not.”

  Hugh sighed. “Why do I know I’m going to regret this?” he asked rhetorically. “Okay, let’s see if we can figure out a plan that we think might work but that doesn’t put Bessie in any danger. If we can do that, I’ll think about helping.”

  Doona grinned. “It’s going to work, you’ll see,” she insisted.

  An hour later, after many more cups of tea and two entire packets of biscuits, the trio had hashed out a rough plan.

  “I don’t think we’re going to get anything better than that,” Doona said, sitting back with a sigh.

  “I’m still not convinced that this is a good idea,” Hugh sighed.

  “It’s not a bad idea,” Bessie remarked. “But maybe I just think that because I’m full of drugs.”

  They all laughed at that, but there was tension in their laughter. Bessie had taken one of the lower-strength tablets as soon as she woke up, and it wouldn’t be long before she would need another.

  “So are we actually doing this?” Doona asked.

  Hugh opened and closed his mouth about ten times before he actually spoke. “As I see it, I guess there isn’t any reason not to try. I figure there are so many places where it could all fall apart that Bessie probably won’t be in any danger.”

  Bessie nodded. “I sort of agree,” she told the others. “We’re relying on a lot of little things that have fall into place in order for this to work. Chances are something will go wrong along the way. At least if it goes wrong and the killer doesn’t fall into the trap, we haven’t messed up the whole case or anything.”

  Hugh nodded. “I think I might even get to keep my job,” he said.

  “So when should we make the call?” Doona asked.

  “How about right after lunch?” Hugh suggested. “I’m getting hungry, and we’ll all perform better on full stomachs.”

  “You just ate over a packet and a half of biscuits,” Doona pointed out. “How can you possibly be hungry?”

  Bessie just laughed. “It’s nearly noon,” she pointed out. “Hugh’s right, we should have some lunch and then Doona can make the call.”

  “I brought bread and sandwich fixings,” Doona told the others. “Let’s make ourselves some sandwiches and then we can go over the plan one more time.”

  Bessie sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” she said. “Just thinking about it is making me nervous. Let’s talk about something else while we eat.”

  Sandwiches ready, the threesome settled down and discussed recent island events.

  “I don’t know, it seems like all these banks and insurance companies are expanding and bringing all of their staff in from across. House prices are going crazy,” Hugh said.

  “I’m glad I bought my house when I did,” Doona replied. “I couldn’t afford it anymore on what the Isle of Man Constabulary pays.”

  “I don’t reckon I’ll ever be able to afford to buy,” Hugh shrugged. “Good thing I like my little apartment.”

  Bessie let the discussion wash over her as she nibbled on a sandwich. After taking that last tablet she had been left feeling slightly detached from everything. The feeling was pleasant, but somehow it left the nagging dread in the back of her mind untouched. After lunch they were seriously considering trying to trick a murderer into trying to kill her. That was nothing short of crazy. Perhaps she wouldn’t have agreed to the plan without the drugs in her system.

  With lunch finished and the dishes washed, Doona helped Bessie into the sitting room, where she settled into her favourite chair. Doona found her the book she was in the middle of and stuffed pillows and a blanket around her until Bessie insisted that she was as comfortable as she could possibly be.

  “Enough fussing,” Bessie said. “If we’re going to do this, we need to do it now, before I lose my nerve.”

  “Now don’t do that,” Doona replied. “We’ve been over it enough. The worst thing that can happen is that the murderer doesn’t fall into the trap. If that’s what happens, no harm done.”

  Bessie nodded. “Okay, then, make the call,” she said.

  “Are you sure?” Hugh asked. “We can forget about the plan and just have a nice quiet afternoon at home if you want,” he told Bessie.

  “I want the murderer caught,” Bessie said quietly. “If this actually works, it will have been worth it.”

  Doona gave Bessie a long and serious look and then headed into the kitchen to take the first step in the plan.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Hugh and Bessie sat together in the sitting room, listening to Doona’s phone call.

  “Oh hello, yes, is that Bahey Corlett?” Doona’s voice floated through the room. “Oh yes, this is Doona Moore, Bessie Cubbon’s friend?”

  After a short pause, Doona’s voice carried on. “I was just calling to ask you for a huge favour,” she said. “I’ve been staying with Bessie since her fall, you see, and now I have to run out and get some shopping in, both for me and for Bessie.”

  Another pause and then Doona continued. “Yes, Hugh Watterson is here as well, but he’s actually got to work this afternoon. In fact, he’s already going to be late for clocking in.”

  That was Hugh’s cue and he almost missed it. “Are you sure?” he hissed to Bessie.

  “I’m sure; just go,” she whispered back.

  She watched him walk into the kitchen and heard him calling loudly as he went. “Okay, then, Bessie, you get some rest,” he shouted. “Doona? I’ve got to go now.”

  Bessie could hear her front door opening and closing, and as Doona spoke again she heard Hugh’s car start.

  “Anyway,” Doona was saying, “I’ve got to go and do some shopping and I was hoping you might come and sit with Bessie while I’m out.”

  Another pause. “Not until four?” Doona sighed deeply. “I suppose that’s fine,” she told Bahey. “The thing is, though, I need to get to the bakery by half-two. Maybe I can leave Bessie alone for just that little while. She’s so out of it anyway, it isn’t like she’ll notice I’m gone.”

  Bessie frowned. Even though she knew Doona was lying, the remark still annoyed her.

  “I know she seemed fine yesterday morning, but today she’s very confused. The police are actually waiting to interview her tomorrow, after she’s had some rest. I just hope she’s more herself by then and can answer their questions.”

  Bessie forced her lips together to keep from talking out of turn. Even though Doona knew she was listening, it felt like she was overhearing unpleasant gossip about herself.

  “She said she thought she was pushed?” Doona was talking again. “She didn’t tell me that,” Doona lied through her teeth. “I think
the poor dear is even more confused than I realised.”

  After another short pause, Doona wrapped up the conversation. “Well then, I’ll just pop out now and grab what I need. It’s getting on towards two already. If you can get over here before four, that would be wonderful, but I suppose whenever you arrive should be fine. I expect I’ll be back around five, maybe a bit later. I’ll leave the door unlocked. It isn’t like anyone’s likely to break in, not here.”

  Only a week earlier, Bessie would have agreed with that sentiment; now she was sad to find that she no longer felt safe behind unlocked doors.

  “That went well,” Doona said when she rejoined Bessie. “I was worried that she’d just drop everything and head over, but not being able to get here until four gives us lots of time.”

  “I told you she would need time to sort out a ride,” Bessie replied.

  “Well, I didn’t think it would take her that long.”

  “I do think you laid it on a bit thick, the bit about me being ‘out of it,’ I mean,” Bessie said.

  “We want her to think that you haven’t given a statement to the police yet,” Doona reminded her. “That way the killer will think you’re still a threat.”

  “Now we just have to hope that she actually tells everyone at Thie yn Traie what’s going on,” Bessie sighed.

  “Maybe we should have filled Bahey in on the plan,” Doona said. “She could have made sure to tell everyone whatever we wanted.”

  “No,” Bessie said. “I think it’s best if as few people as possible know about the plan.” Bessie couldn’t shake the feeling that Bahey knew more than she was letting on. Telling her the plan might have spoiled the whole thing.

  “Right, well, I’ve got to go now,” Doona told Bessie. “I’m going to drive straight over and park out of sight at the cottages. Hugh should already be there. If it takes Bahey five minutes to talk to everyone at the house, the soonest the killer should get here is still at least fifteen minutes away. He or she will have to drive because the police tape is still blocking the beach. I can’t see any of them choosing to walk over along the road, not with the reporters sitting at the gate.”