Ben knocked on the door and took a deep breath. If he was nervous, how must she be feeling? Finding out she’d set him up with Tess had shocked him. He could so easily have reported her.
Stephanie welcomed him in and asked how he was a little too quickly.
“You should know, Ms Trejo. I suspect Tess has told you everything?”
“No. Not a word,” Stephanie replied as she twiddled her pencil.
Ben sat in his regular chair and looked out the window. Fancy that. He felt sure Tess would have told Stephanie everything. Ben’s heart warmed at the thought of her. He should have returned her calls. Truth was, after fleeing the Pro-Am, he couldn’t face anyone. In the end, he hadn’t even gone to church, but instead stayed home and played computer games with Jayden. He’d even called in sick at work. No way could he face his colleagues. They would have seen photos of Kathryn with Luke, and he couldn’t cope with that.
He must be the laughing stock of town. How many people knew about Kathryn and Luke but hadn’t told him? How could he have not known?
“Most counselling sessions last for about two months, so we only have two more weeks unless you want to extend,” Stephanie said, putting her pencil down. “Mr Williams, do you think we could make a fresh start? I’m sorry. Disclosing your personal information was a mistake, even to Tessa.”
Ben sighed deeply. Maybe they could. He had to talk to someone - may as well be her. He lifted his head. “Call me Ben. Please. It’s time we were on first-name terms.”
Stephanie visibly relaxed. “Ben it is. Please call me Stephanie.”
“Stephanie.” He held her eyes and saw a young woman who cared. He’d never noticed that before, but maybe he hadn’t been looking.
“Okay, let’s make a start.” Stephanie gave Ben an engaging grin.
By the end of the session, Ben had a new perspective on the grief Stephanie told him he’d been experiencing. When he let her do her job, Stephanie displayed wisdom beyond her years. Ben was happy to allow her to help him understand better the various stages of grief he’d been going through. Seemed he was still at Stage Three – Anger. Anger not so much that Kathryn had left – he’d basically dealt with that, but more directed at how she left and the fact she showed no care or concern for how it impacted Jayden.
He still had four stages to go. Four! He pressed Stephanie to tell him what they were and how long it’d take to get through them.
“In our next meeting, Ben. We've gone over enough right now. Of course, the stage I want you to is the seventh and last stage, which is one of acceptance and hope. I want to see you accept the past, but also be hopeful about your future. To get to that stage though, you need to deal with your anger by forgiving Kathryn for her actions.”
“Forgive her? You’ve got to be joking.”
“Ben, you’re a Christian. You need to forgive, just as Jesus forgave you. You’re not there yet, but I don’t think it’ll be long. I can see God working in your heart.”
Ben was silent. She had a point. “Guess I haven’t got past my anger yet, so maybe you're right.” Yes, he was a Christian. And forgiveness was a fundamental element of allowing God to work in his life. But not yet.
Ben left the meeting with a lighter step and more determination than ever to be the father that Jayden needed. He’d think about forgiving Kathryn later.
Tessa touched up her lipstick and hair in the car mirror as soon as she pulled into Ben's driveway. She checked her lips once more in the front door window before ringing the bell. Her heart thumped as she waited. No-one answered.
She waited a full minute before ringing the bell again. Still no answer.
Guess I'll just have to try phoning again. But Ben hadn’t returned any of her calls or texts, apart from saying he’d be in touch soon, so trying again probably wouldn’t work. Maybe she’d just have to tell her parents he wouldn’t be coming to dinner after all. She was about to leave when the door opened and Jayden stuck his head out. Hard rock music blasted through the house.
Jayden eyed her up and down. “What do you want?”
This is not going well. “Hi Jayden. How are you?” Silly question. Tessa bit her lip.
“Fine.”
Her mother’s words rang in her ears. ‘Mother to a teenager…’ Maybe she was right. “That's good to hear. Is your dad home?”
Jayden looked her up and down again. Maybe she should have changed out of her work clothes. “No, he isn't. Went to see his social worker ages ago.”
Tessa swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in her throat. Wonder how that’s going?
“You can wait if you want.”
That’s a surprise. More than one word.
“Thanks Jayden, but no, it’s not necessary. Just tell him I’ll phone later.”
“Okay.”
Tessa had just reached the bottom step when she remembered to ask about Bindy and turned around.
“Sorry Jayden, I meant to ask how Bindy was.”
Jayden’s face lit up. “She's good. Do you wanna see her?” He disappeared into the house before Tessa could answer.
In a moment, Jayden was back with Bindy in his arms. He ran down the front steps and placed the dog on the ground in front of Tessa. As Tessa bent down to pat the puppy, Bindy stuck out a pink tongue and licked Tessa’s hands, tickling her. Tessa laughed.
“She won't be a puppy much longer. She’s getting so big.”
“I'm trying to teach her some tricks. Wanna see?”
“Yes! That would be great.”
“Jay, who are talking to?” Tessa and Jayden both looked toward the house. A boy quite a bit older than Jayden stood inside the open front door. His blonde hair was in an undercut and a vine tattoo wrapped around his wrist.
“Just a friend of Dad’s.” Jayden turned to Tessa. “That's Owen. His brother’s one of my classmates. Gotta go. Show you Bindy’s tricks another time.”
“Don't forget to tell your Dad I’ll call him.” Tessa said and waved goodbye.
“I won't.”
When Tessa made her phone call to Ben later that evening, she prayed that this time he’d answer. She hadn’t quizzed Stephanie about her meeting with Ben, nor had Stephanie volunteered any information, but from Stephanie’s cheeriness, Tessa guessed it had gone better than expected.
Tessa hadn’t spoken to Ben since he’d dropped her off after the Pro-Am. Now she felt awkward calling to ask him to dinner at her parents’ house. Would he think it too forward and presumptuous? Probably. Maybe she should cancel it. Her parents might be happier if she did. She was just about to hit the cancel button when Ben answered. The sound of his deep voice made her knees go weak. Would she ever tire of listening to it? But now he’d finally answered, she could hardly speak.
So much had happened between them already, but she barely knew him. She’d read the passage about divorce in Matthew 19 like her father had suggested, and prayed about him as Pastor Stanek had said. She was trying to find out what made Ben tick, but whenever she was with him, she felt instantly happier. Something had clicked between them, and it wasn’t just physical. Somehow they’d connected. But was that enough to invite him and his teenage son to dinner at her parents’ place, especially when they were only friends. And especially when he was divorced…
Ben’s voice brought her back to the moment.
“Tessa, are you alright?”
“Sorry, Ben. I was miles away. How are you?” She slowed her breathing and prayed she’d say the right thing.
“I’m okay. Jayden said you came round this afternoon. I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls.”
“No problem, Ben. You had other things on your mind. I just wanted to see how you and Jayden were after what happened on Saturday. And I wanted to ask you something.” There, she’d said it.
“We’re doing alright, Tess. I’m hoping to have a good talk with him sometime soon. Maybe even tonight if his friends ever leave. Can you pray about it for me? I really don’t know how to get him to open up to me. The
only thing he ever wants to talk about is Bindy, but now, after seeing Kathryn…”
“Yes Ben, I’ll pray.” I haven’t stopped praying.
“What did you want to ask?” Ben’s voice had softened and she pictured him sitting in his living room, his long legs stretched out in front of him, possibly resting his head on a cushion as he spoke to her. Her heart fluttered.
“Oh Ben, I’m embarrassed. Please tell me if this isn’t appropriate.”
“Sounds intriguing. Go on…”
Tessa gulped nervously and took a deep breath. “When I had dinner with my parents the other night, my mother guessed I was seeing someone new. I said we were just friends, which we are, aren’t we?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “But anyway, they’ve invited you and Jayden over to their place for dinner on Friday night.”
The silence on the other end of the line was deafening. Seconds ticked by. Her heart raced. Why wasn’t he saying something? What was he thinking? What a fool she’d made of herself.
“Tessa, you’ve taken me by surprise, I’ll have to admit. But why not?” She let go of her breath. “Jayden’s team isn’t playing this Friday.” She’d forgotten about Jayden’s football – how thoughtless. “And I’ve got nothing on, so yes, we’d be pleased to accept.”
She felt like jumping for joy. But instead she said she’d look forward to seeing him at puppy training on Thursday. And that she’d pray for his talk with Jayden.
Chapter 15
The week dragged and Friday came slowly. They hadn’t much time to talk at puppy training, other than for Ben to quickly tell Tessa his talk with Jayden had gone reasonably well but they still had a long way to go, and for Tessa to pass on the details for the following evening.
She chose a light blue summer dress to wear to dinner and had grabbed a light cotton cardigan in case it got cool. Her hair was pulled up in a loose bun. Way too hot to leave it down. After being stuck in khaki shorts most of the week, Tessa was actually enjoying wearing dresses. She felt feminine and grown up. And blue suited her, so she’d been told.
She set the table for six at her parents' house while her mother put the food into serving dishes. Elliott's motorcycle roared and then died as he pulled into the driveway, and within minutes he appeared in the kitchen.
“Hi Mother.” He bent down and gave Eleanor a kiss. “Whatever you're cooking sure smells good.”
“Hands off.” Eleanor tapped his hand as he reached for a warm bread roll, fresh from the oven. “Tonight's dinner is for Tessa's friend.”
“Ah, yes! I nearly forgot,” Elliott said. “I should get ready.”
“You should,” Eleanor said. “And make it quick. They'll be here any minute.”
“Hey, sis,” Elliott said as he passed through the dining room on the way to his bedroom. “I can't wait to meet Ben tonight, but you never told me what happened with you and Michael.”
“Not now. I can't think about him right now.”
“Never liked him anyway. He wasn't right for you.”
Tessa straightened and faced her brother. “I don't need to be told that again.” She kept her voice low and even so their mother wouldn't hear. “He had drug problems, and we broke up, okay? I haven't seen or heard from him for months, and I don’t want to. You won't mention him at dinner, will you?”
Elliott drew a finger across his lips. “My lips are sealed.”
Tessa jumped when the doorbell rang although she’d been expecting it, having checked the clock in the kitchen every minute for the past half hour. Ben and Jayden arrived promptly at six, as she knew they would. She drew in a long breath to steady her nerves and called out that she’d get it.
She slowly opened the door. Her heart was beating so fast. She’d never felt this way with Michael. Must be what true love feels like. Ben was dressed in dark casual slacks and a crisp, off-white button-down shirt, unbuttoned at the collar. Such good dress sense. Even Jayden looked smart in his chinos and T-shirt. And he’d pinned his hair back from his face. Good boy!
“Hello Ben. Hello Jayden.” Tessa smiled shyly as she stood before them, all of a sudden tongue-tied. Her eyes locked with Ben’s and then everything happened in slow motion. Leaning forward, he kissed her on the cheek. The brush of his hand on her wrist sent a tingle through her body. Her breaths came faster. She had to stop this. She’d told her parents they were only friends.
She took a grip on herself. “Ben, Jayden, come in and meet my parents.”
Eleanor hurried from the kitchen and Telford appeared from the living room. Tessa introduced everybody.
Ben shook hands with her parents, and Jayden followed suit, although he didn’t look them in the eye. Tessa tried to include him in the conversation, but he moved away and stood awkwardly on his own as the adults chatted about the weather, church, and business matters. A few minutes later, Elliott came down in a clean shirt and introductions were made all around once again.
At the table, Ben and Tessa sat beside each other on one side and Jayden and Elliott sat across from them. Telford and Eleanor sat at either end. After asking God to bless their food, Telford and Ben started talking about their careers, as Tessa knew they would. Ben being an accountant was definitely a plus as far as her father was concerned. “Find someone with a good, steady occupation,” her father always used to say. Maybe that was one of the reasons he’d never liked Michael.
After the first course was finished, Tessa helped her mum clear the table. As Tessa scraped and rinsed the dirty plates, Eleanor stacked the dishwasher.
“He’s nice, Tessa.” Eleanor spoke quietly.
“Yes, he is.” Tessa glanced back through the doorway. He and her father were still deeply engrossed in conversation. Her heart warmed. Telford and Michael had rarely said more than two sentences to each other.
“But are you ready to throw your youth away?”
Tessa stopped scraping, taken aback at her mother’s words. “What do you mean, Mum? We’re only friends.”
“Oh Tessa. I can see the spark in your eyes. I noticed it the moment you arrived at dinner the other night, so don’t tell me you’re only friends.”
Tessa gulped. Only her mother observed things like that. But they were only friends. Nothing had been said between them. They hadn’t even held hands or kissed, but Tessa couldn’t deny that Ben sitting beside her at her parents’ table was doing strange things to her. She’d been very tempted to reach out and find his hand under the table or brush her leg against his.
“We are only friends. At the moment.” Tessa looked up into her mother’s soft caring eyes and fought hard to retain control.
Eleanor rubbed Tessa’s arm gently. “Just don’t do anything rash, dear. It would be such a big decision. Jayden seems a nice boy, but he’d be hard work.” She gave Tessa a warm smile. “Here, take these bowls for dessert.”
Tessa took the bowls and followed Eleanor into the dining room. Her mother’s words were still playing over in her mind when she reached the table. A loud clatter sounded. Everyone stopped what they doing. Jayden had thrown his spoon across the table, hitting the glass bowl in the centre.
“I don’t want your religion stuffed down my throat,” he shouted at Elliott before pushing his chair back and leaving the table in a huff.
Nobody dared move. Without thinking, Tessa placed her free hand on Ben’s shoulder. He stood, pushing his chair carefully back. “I’m sorry, please excuse me.” He nodded his head apologetically to Telford and Eleanor, and briefly met Tessa’s gaze before he left the room and followed after Jayden.
“Whatever did you say to him, Elliott?” Tessa snapped at her brother, her nostrils flaring.
Elliott looked crestfallen. “I was just trying to convince him that God loves him. I wasn’t stuffing anything down his throat.” His eyes blinked rapidly. “He believes God’s an angry, Zeus-like figure who throws lightning bolts down from the sky to break up families.”
“Oh, Elliott, Jayden’s really struggling at the moment. I know you meant well,
but he’s not ready.” Tessa drew in a deep breath. This would set Jayden back even further.
“We’re proud of your zeal, son, but you need to learn discernment.” Telford tapped Elliott on the hand.
“I didn't think. I’m sorry.” Elliott spoke softly and his shoulders drooped. “I hope I haven't ruined the night.”
“I hope not too.” Tessa placed the bowls on the table. “I'll go check.”
Outside, darkness was fast approaching. Just the last lingering colours of sunset remained low on the horizon. Ben and Jayden stood on the driveway. Ben was speaking louder than Tessa had ever heard him speak before, in fact, he was almost shouting, and he was throwing his hands around in the air. Jayden’s body was hunched, his head hung low and his arms crossed. Why had Elliott been so thoughtless?
Tessa joined them and stood beside Ben. “It’s not Jayden’s fault, Ben. Elliott shouldn’t have spoken to him like that. Don’t take it out on Jayden, please.”
Ben looked up. His face had reddened and he was breathing quickly.
“No, Tessa. Jayden was a guest in your parents’ house. He shouldn’t have reacted like that.”
“He’s only a boy, Ben. Elliott should have known better and he’s apologised.”
Tessa held Ben’s gaze, surprised at her audacity. Is this what it’d be like if they did become a couple? Maybe she wasn’t ready after all. She felt she was taking sides already.
Tessa’s pulse raced as she waited. Ben finally tore his eyes away and directed his attention to Jayden.
“I'm disappointed in your behaviour, Jayden. Stomping out like that was the wrong thing to do. It was rude.”
“Sorry.” Jayden’s arms remained crossed, but he lifted his head slightly.
“Well, that’s a start.” Ben’s voice had lost some of its bite and Tessa began to breathe easier.
“How about you come back in for dessert? Mum’s baked a lemon cheesecake and believe me, it’s really delicious.”
Tender Love: A Christian Romance (The True Love Series Book 1) Page 8
