“I'll wait in the car until you're finished,” Jayden said, turning away.
“Go ahead and wait,” Ben said. “I'll have your slice.”
Tessa placed her arm around Jayden’s shoulder. “Come on Jayden, come back in. It’ll be all right. I’ve had words with my brother.”
Jayden shrugged without enthusiasm. “He’d better not talk to me about God again.”
“I’ll make sure of that, Jayden, don’t you worry.”
Elliott apologised to Jayden when the three of them returned inside, and Jayden said he was sorry for stomping out like he did. The situation was diffused. But when Ben reached for her hand under the table and squeezed it, Tessa wondered if she was in too deep.
Chapter 16
The remainder of the evening at Tessa's parents' house passed uneventfully. Jayden loved Eleanor's baked lemon cheesecake so much that she wrapped the last piece for him to take home.
Tessa walked Ben and Jayden to their car after all the goodbyes and thank-yous had been said with her parents and Elliott. When Jayden opened the front passenger door and climbed in, Ben grabbed Tessa’s hand and pulled her close.
Her heart raced. This was the moment she’d been waiting for, but now it was here, Tessa wondered if she’d let her feelings get in the way of rational thought. What would happen if Ben kissed her? Would it be the start of something she might not be able to stop, and might not want? It wouldn’t be a casual relationship. They’d both be assuming it would lead to something more. Something permanent. Tessa swallowed the lump in her throat. How would Jayden feel about that? Maybe he wasn’t ready to share his Dad with anyone else just yet. And maybe she wasn’t prepared to deal with all the challenges they’d have to face. God, what are You telling me?
But he was so close, and his breath on her face was warm and sweet. Tessa’s heart pounded. Ben slipped his arm around her waist and drew her closer as he brushed some loose hair from her face with his finger.
“Thank you for tonight, Tess. And for stepping in with Jayden.”
Every nerve in Tessa’s body tingled as Ben studied her face. She wanted this so much, but as he lowered his lips to hers, she pulled away.
“Ben, I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” Her heart nearly broke. Was she really saying this?
Ben dropped his arm from her waist, but grabbed her hand before she moved out of reach.
“Tessa, what’s the matter? I thought you wanted this.”
“I thought I did too. But I don’t think I’m ready. I’m sorry, Ben.” Her voice came out jagged, brittle.
Ben ran his hands over Tessa’s hair with his other hand. “I’m sorry I rushed you, Tess. It was so difficult sitting beside you all night. It was all I could do to keep my eyes off you.”
How could she turn him down? They both wanted each other, but something held her back. Did she really want to date a divorced man with a teenage son, even if she was madly attracted to him? She really didn’t know.
“I need more time, Ben. I’m sorry.” Tessa’s hands trembled as her heart fell apart. She took some deep breaths to steady herself.
Ben continued brushing her hair. She felt like grabbing his hand and kissing it. But she had to be strong and not let her feelings and desires take over, no matter how difficult that was. She had to be sure. For once in her life she had to think before she acted.
“How about we spend more time talking and getting to know each other?”
Tessa’s body relaxed. Yes. That’s what’s needed. Time. She gazed into his eyes and saw strength. “That would be great, Ben. Thank you. And I’m sorry, I really am.” Her voice was faint but had lost its brittleness.
“It’s fine, Tess. Really. I let my feelings get the better of me.” His warm hand rested on the side of her cheek. “I want to get to know everything about you, but there’s no hurry.” Ben’s soft eyes caressed her face, and she almost gave in and kissed him. “How about we spend tomorrow together if you’re free?’
Warmth spread through her body. “That would be lovely, Ben.”
He leaned forward and placed a slow, tender kiss on her cheek. A promise of things to come.
After Ben and Jayden left, Tessa walked slowly back towards the house, in no hurry to return. No doubt she’d face a barrage of questions. Her parents and brother would want to talk about Ben and Jayden for sure. And whether she and Ben were more than friends.
The warmth of the day lingered in the night air as she breathed in the heady fragrance of the frangipani flowers. This night would be etched in her memory forever. The night she turned down Ben’s kiss. She stopped and leaned against the trunk of the huge leopard tree she’d helped her dad plant when she was only about nine. She slid down and sat on the grass below it and let out a huge sigh.
“Oh God, what have I got myself into? I don’t believe I turned Ben down. You know how attracted I am to him, but I need guidance, direction. I don’t know if I’m ready to be an instant mother. And I still don't know about the divorce issue. Please help me, God. You know I want to do the right thing, and I thank You for helping me to be strong and not act rashly. Thanks for helping Ben to understand. Please help us work through this. And God, please be with Jayden. Let him know You really do exist and that You love him to bits. Thank You, God. Amen.”
The sound of dishes being washed and put away filtered through to the living area as Tessa entered the house. Her parents were no doubt talking about Ben. She took a deep breath and joined them.
“Ah, Tess. There you are.” Her father smiled warmly and held out his arms. Tessa allowed him to pull her close and hug her. He kissed the top of her head before releasing her.
“That was a lovely evening, thank you both for everything.”
Eleanor dried her hands and turned around. “Our pleasure, honey. Cup of tea?” The cue for ‘let’s have a chat’…
“Sure.”
Elliott joined them in the living room while Eleanor made tea for everyone. Tessa didn’t have to wait long for it to start.
“Well, that went off well, apart from that one little hiccup. I’m sorry about that, sis.”
“It’s okay, Elliott. All is forgiven.”
“But the kid’s got some problems, you’ve got to agree?”
“Yes, but he’s been through a lot. He’s a good kid, and he’ll come through it, eventually. We’ve just got to pray and trust God to work in his life.”
“I like Ben,” Telford said, joining in. “For one, he's a Christian, and he's very well established in his career.”
“Thought you’d like that, Dad.” Tessa gave him a wink.
“Yes, and he's stable, and he's serious. Seems like an honest person trying to do the right thing.”
“I like his patience,” Eleanor said, carrying a tray with four mugs of steaming hot tea into the room. “He handled the incident with his son very well, I thought.”
“You’re all talking as if we’re about to get married. We’re not even going out. We’re just friends.” Tessa glanced at her mother. Would she say anything to the contrary?
“Yeah, yeah,” Elliott said. “Tell us another one, sis.”
“It’s true, Elliott. We’re just friends.” Tessa glared at him.
“Me thinketh the lady protests too much.” Elliott guffawed.
“Anyway,” Telford said, “I think we all approve, Tessa. Much better than… what was his name?” He looked to Eleanor with a puzzled look in his face. “I always forget.”
“Michael, Dad. His name was Michael.”
“Ah yes, that’s right. Well anyway, Ben’s a much better choice.”
“I guess that means you don't have an issue with him being divorced anymore? Not that it matters at the moment.”
Telford and Eleanor exchanged glances.
“About that,” Eleanor said. “Your father and I need to tell you something we should have told you ages ago.”
“Is this a cue for me to leave?” Elliott asked.
“No, you can stay,” Eleanor said. �
��Both of you need to hear this.” She moved to Telford’s side and took his hand.
Moments passed. Tessa glanced at Elliott. He looked as puzzled as she felt. What secret were their parents about to divulge? Tessa could hardly imagine her conservative parents having done anything they might be ashamed of enough to keep hidden until now. Maybe I’m illegitimate? That would be a shock. But Tessa had seen their marriage certificate. She’d been born twelve months after their wedding. So no, couldn’t be that.
Eleanor cleared her throat. Tessa and Elliott leaned forward.
“I know you think your Dad is the only man I've ever been married to, but he's not.”
Tessa’s mouth fell open. Mum’s been married to someone else? No!
“I was married once before. His name was Hugh.” Telford squeezed her hand. Eleanor shot him a thankful smile before continuing. “We met in high school and we married when I was eighteen. My parents warned me against it, and I should have listened, but I loved Hugh, and he loved me. At least, I thought he did. He was always considerate and promised to take care of me.
“Shortly after our wedding, his behaviour changed. He became abusive. Nothing I did, nothing I said pleased him anymore. He said I breathed too loudly. My body was ugly. He questioned my choice of clothing. He criticized my cooking and berated me when it didn't turn out as good as his mother's. Hardly a day went by when he didn't call me worthless or stupid.” Eleanor paused to dab her eyes with a napkin from the table. She took a deep breath before continuing.
Tessa glanced at Elliott again, but her brother looked just as jarred as she felt. They’d never known their mother to cry. She’d always been calm, composed, and collected, no matter the circumstance. But now the woman she’d long admired for her quiet strength was opening up and showing another side they’d never seen - a more vulnerable side.
“At first, it was only verbal abuse,” Eleanor continued. “But then it turned physical. He punched me and tried choking me. I wanted to leave, but I was too scared to tell anyone - even my own parents - what was happening. When I threatened to leave, he started to lock me in and refused to let me visit family or friends.
“I finally managed to speak to our pastor about what was happening, but instead of confronting Hugh about his behaviour, he blamed me for it. The pastor told me to submit to my husband as the Bible commanded, and things would get better. But they didn't. In fact, things got worse. I became very, very depressed, and I hate to admit this, but I repeatedly begged God to end my life.”
Tears streamed down Eleanor’s face. Tessa’s eyes watered. Poor Mum. Why hadn’t she heard about this before?
Eleanor wiped her face with a handkerchief Telford gave her. “When I wasn't begging God to end my life, I was begging Him to save my marriage. But I wanted out. I wanted to leave Hugh, but my pastor told me that getting a divorce would be direct disobedience to God. Of course, I didn't want to go against God, so I kept praying for Him to fix it. But one day while praying, I clearly felt God saying it was okay to leave. So I did. I left Hugh. But for a long time afterwards, I felt I’d failed.”
Telford squeezed Eleanor’s hand and hugged her. She gave him a watery smile before continuing.
“When I moved here to Brisbane, I started going to Gracepointe Church. That's where Pastor Stanek told me that God didn’t love me any less because I’d left Hugh. He told me that God doesn’t condone any man who berates and beats a woman, and that He’d never expect the woman to stay. Even though it's not what He intended, in some circumstances, leaving is the only option. Only when I heard that did I finally experience complete and total freedom from the pain of that failed marriage. I was finally able to forgive myself.”
“Mum, I'm so sorry.” Tessa moved to the seat beside her mother and hugged her.
“You needn't be,” Eleanor said, a faint smile appearing on her tear-stained face. “Leaving Hugh was the second best decision I’ve made.”
“What was the first?” Elliott asked.
“Marrying your father,” Eleanor said, smiling lovingly at Telford. “After such a horrible first marriage, I was very hesitant about getting involved with someone again, but now I can't imagine what my life would be like without your dad.”
“And I can't imagine what my life would have been like without you, Eleanor,” Telford said. “I'm glad you decided to give love another chance.” He turned to Tessa. “I know we...well, me especially, sounded rather harsh about Ben being divorced the other day when we were at dinner. Because of what the Bible says, I still believe divorce is wrong in most situations. It's not what God intends for us at all. He intends marriage to be a lifetime commitment, and if we lived in a perfect world, there’d be no need for divorce, but we don't live in a perfect world, and in situations like your mother found herself in, divorce really was the only option.
“We don’t know what happened in Ben's marriage, and what caused his wife to be unfaithful, but I can’t imagine he was a wife beater. She must have had her own reasons, which we might never know.” Telford paused and squeezed her hand. “Tessa, what we’re trying to say is, if you and Ben do eventually decide to become more than friends, we’ll be okay with it, but don't make any hasty decisions. Get to know him first before making any long-term decisions. And pray about it. Really pray. You need to know what’s in his heart. Only God can show you that. And you also should talk with Pastor Stanek. It's a serious thing, Tess, and you need to be sure that whatever you decide is in line with God's will.”
Tessa reached out her hand to her father. She couldn’t have asked for better parents.
Chapter 17
Tessa was finishing breakfast the following morning when Ben called. He arranged to pick her up within the hour and suggested they go for a drive to the Gold Coast and spend the day at the beach.
“That sounds wonderful, Ben. I’ll look forward to seeing you soon.”
“I won’t ask,” Stephanie said as she collected the dishes, “but it sounds like you two are hitting it off.”
“We’re friends, Steph. That’s all.”
Stephanie gave her a knowing look and placed the dishes in the sink. “Okay, I won’t say any more. I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
“We’re just going to the beach. That’s all. And I need to get ready.”
Half an hour later Tessa pulled the curtains back and peeked out the window when the gate squeaked open.
“I’m off, Steph.” Tessa grabbed her bag and hat and ran down the stairs. She resisted the temptation to give Ben a hug and instead greeted him with a beaming smile. He looked so… appealing. Yes, Tessa knew what he looked like on the outside, but today was all about getting to know what made him tick.
“Such a lovely day for the beach. Good suggestion, Ben.” Tessa laughed lightly and walked beside him to the car. Jayden sat in the back, playing on his iPad. She berated herself for not even thinking about whether Jayden would be coming or not.
“Good morning, Jayden. How are you?”
Jayden lifted his head and gave a shrug before returning to his iPad.
“Would you like to sit in the front?”
Jayden shook his head.
Tessa shot Ben a questioning look. Ben held her gaze and answered her question with his eyes. Things still weren’t crash hot between them. Sliding into the front seat, she felt she was gatecrashing again. Was this a foolish decision? Maybe she should have told Ben it wasn’t going to work and left it at that. But she couldn’t deny the attraction between them. And maybe, just maybe they could work through everything else.
“So, Ms Scott, what are we going to talk about?” Ben asked as he put the car into drive and released the handbrake.
“Oh, I don’t know. You pick.”
“Okay then, why did you decide to become a vet?”
For the whole hour and a bit it took to get to the coast, Ben and Tessa chatted easily, finding out about each other’s likes and dislikes, their tastes in food, what their childhoods were like, what their favourite
holiday destinations were, in fact, almost everything.
Jayden seemed happy enough to be at the beach. He’d brought his body board and caught wave after wave with Ben while Tessa enjoyed swimming in the clear blue water. The surf was calm, and the conditions perfect. The beach was packed with people trying to escape the heat of late summer, but even still, once they moved away from the main swimming area, they almost felt like they were on their own.
It was later, when they were walking along Surfers Paradise with Jayden dragging behind again, that they talked about their faith. “So Ben, how did you become a Christian?” Tessa glanced at the man walking beside her. His quiet sincere manner impressed her so much.
“Well, after Dad died, Mum started going to church again. She used to go when she was young, but when she married and Dad didn’t go, she stopped as well.” Ben paused and took a deep breath. “I think deep down she would have loved to have kept going, but she was fairly timid in those days, and she didn’t go against what Dad said. But once he was no longer around, Mum grabbed the opportunity. She made new friends and became a much happier person almost overnight.”
Ben paused again and glanced at Tessa. “I’m not saying she didn’t miss Dad, but her life with him wasn’t that great.” He returned his gaze to the endless white sand stretching out in front of them. “She got involved in church activities and encouraged me to go to the evening services with her. I’d hardly been to church so I didn’t know what to expect, but the number of people blew me away. Guess I’d expected just a handful of oldies, but there were hundreds, and loads of young people.
“I was at that point in my life when I was searching for something, so after I’d heard the gospel message a few times, I started reading the Bible as well as books on Apologetics. I couldn’t just follow blindly—I had to have some solid proof that God actually existed and that Jesus was a real person. I also spent a lot of time in study groups, and finally it all made sense and I gave my heart to the Lord. I guess it wasn’t as emotional as some conversions I’ve seen, but I suppose that’s me. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t grateful for everything Jesus had done for me—I was just a little more reserved. But I know deep down that when I gave my heart, God did something inside me I couldn’t explain. My walk since then has been steady and normal, that was, until the day Kathryn walked out.”
Tender Love: A Christian Romance (The True Love Series Book 1) Page 9
