The Sheikh's Christmas Baby (Shadid Sheikhs Series Book 3)

by Leslie North

  Kashif stared at her, and it was like looking at a stranger. “You really think I’m that kind of person? I guess you’re right. We really don’t know each other at all.”

  Kristy’s shoulders slumped, and she closed her eyes. “Kash, that’s not what I meant.”

  He held up his hand to silence her; his gut churning at the nickname. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m going to visit with my daughter. When you get home tonight, we’re going to have a nice long chat about what happens next, but I know one thing. You’re not keeping her from me again.”

  Kashif wasn’t in the lodge when Kristy brought Arella back. The little girl had worn herself out talking incessantly about her adventure. Not only had she gone dog sledding for the first time, but she got to meet a bunch of doctors and found a new daddy.

  A Prince.

  Kristy didn’t say much. Thankfully, Arella didn’t question why she didn’t have a father before or where he’d been. She tucked her daughter in bed and kissed her forehead.

  Then, she waited.

  And waited.

  Hours passed, and Kashif still hadn’t returned. She was surprised when she woke up the next morning still on the couch. At some point, she must have lain down but she didn’t recall grabbing a blanket. Rubbing her face to wipe away the last of the sleep and banish her bad dreams, she slowly mounted the stairs to check on Arella.

  With each step she took, the realization that she truly loved Kashif made her slow down as the intensity of how she felt made her feel ill. This was so much worse than before. She’d hurt him so badly, there was no way she could tell him. Not now. Not ever.

  When she finally reached the landing, she heard voices coming from Arella’s room.

  “But why?” the little girl asked.

  “One day, I’ll be able to explain it to you,” Kashif responded. “But I promise that I will call you all the time and send letters and photos, and I’ll be back soon to visit you. Okay?”

  “Can I come to your palace and be a princess?”

  “You’re already a princess, and it has nothing to do with my title. You’re a princess because you are a kind and loving little girl. But yes, one day soon, you’ll come visit me. My father and brothers would very much like to meet you.”

  Kristy’s heart broke when she realized what she’d denied her daughter all this time. A wonderful man, who truly loved her.

  Not wanting Kashif to know she’d been eavesdropping, she walked heavier down the hall and pushed the door to Arella’s room open. Her heart broke when she saw her daughter sitting in Kashif’s lap. They both turned as she leaned against the doorframe.

  “Momma! Daddy says I can come visit the castle!” Arella chimed out happily.

  “I heard,” she said in a hoarse voice. “Baby, why don’t you go get dressed so the Prince and I can talk. I’ll let you wear whatever you want, okay?”

  “My princess dress?”

  “Yes, darling, but only for a little while. It’s too cold for you to wear it for long.”

  “Daddy, wait until you see it,” she squealed and raced to her closet. Kristy took a deep breath, but it wasn’t enough to steal her against the rage and anger that simmered in Kashif’s eyes as he rose.

  “Maybe we should go downstairs?” Kristy asked softly. At his curt nod, they made their way silently downstairs and she stopped short when she saw his bag by the door.

  “You’re leaving,” she whispered.

  “I am. I’m not happy about it, but I think it would be best if I weren’t around you right now. In the meantime, we’ll set up a schedule for visitation. I will be in her life, Kristy. I’ll donate enough money to the farm to keep it up and running, and of course, I’ll take care of anything that you and Arella need.”

  “Kashif, please,” she said hoarsely. “Can’t we talk about this?”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. You hid my daughter from me. I can see why you’ve kept quiet for all these years, but that should have changed when I arrived.”

  “I needed to know you wouldn’t take her away. And then, I wanted to, I really did, but things were moving so quickly and it was such a risk.” She fought to keep the sob away but her voice cracked as she talked.

  “I explained what happened. I care for you, but I won’t be with a woman who not only doesn’t trust me but has lied to me.”

  “Kashif, you can’t leave…” she started.

  “I told you. There’s nothing else to discuss,” he snarled.

  “That’s not what I mean. The airports are closed because of the snow storm. I doubt they’ll open back up until the weekend. I’m sure Henry can take you into town if you want to stay somewhere else.”

  “Fine,” he said abruptly. “I’ll spend the day with Arella and find some other place to go tonight.” He stalked away before she could respond.

  Turning away so he wouldn’t see her tears, she whispered to the room, “I’m sorry. So, so, very sorry.”

  Most of her help hadn’t shown up for work that morning, so she and Henry managed the best they could. After getting the horses’ stalls mucked out, the animals fed, and the dogs exercised, she finally stumbled back inside and collapsed in the chair by the fire.

  Dimly, she heard Kashif’s low docile tones and Arella’s high pitched squeals of delight. Too tired to fight her own desires, she closed her eyes and thought about what would happen if she had done things differently.

  18

  Paradise Frost Ranch had none of the charm of Mistywood. Sure, it was far more efficient and much more luxurious, but Kashif was empty when he checked into his new room.

  He missed the warmth of Julia and Henry and the excitement of Arella.

  His daughter. It was hard to wrap his head around. For the past three years, he’d been a father and not even known it.

  He could see himself in her. She had his love for life and excitement. He could only imagine how much of a handful she must be with Kristy alone. No doubt she’d been responsible for more than a few grey hairs; at least on Julia.

  Thinking of Kristy increased the ache in his heart. Most of all, he missed her. He missed the way the bed smelled after she was in it. He missed the scowl on her face when he’d suggested something that she didn’t like. He missed the adoration in her eyes when she looked at Arella, and he missed the look on her face when he wrapped his arms around her.

  Too riled up to sleep, he pulled out his phone to call his father when he saw that he’d missed a call from Jarik. Leaning back on the bed, he pressed play.

  “Hey brother, I’m sorry that I missed you. I know you don’t love that I’m at Kivi’s trial, but that’s not why I called. I had an interesting talk with Samir. He seemed to think there might be something wrong with father. I’m not sure if you know what’s going on, but if you do, give me a call.” There was a slight pause. “I know we don’t always get along, but I hope you’re safe.”

  Letting the phone drop from his ear, he closed his eyes. Listening to his brother’s voice dredged up some unwanted guilt. How could he lecture Kristy on family when he wasn’t even sure what the word meant anymore? He couldn’t even remember the last time he and both of his brothers were under the same roof. Jarik had responsibilities, but he spent more time traveling and doing ambassador work. He and Kashif might see each other a few days out of the month, and he saw Samir even less.

  After what Melka pulled, Kristy was alone with a newborn. She protected her child as best she could, and it was no wonder that she didn’t say anything to him about it. Trust wasn’t easy for her, and she loved Arella more than anything.

  As she should. That’s what made her a good mother.

  Here he was, ready to walk away from her again. What kind of man did that make him? What kind of father?

  He wished there was someone that he could talk to, but he hadn’t confided in anyone in a long time. Kashif was on his own, and for the first in a long time, he felt completely alone.

  Kristy sat on the edge of Arella�
��s bed and gently stroked her daughter’s hair. The toddler stared at her in earnest while she waited for her mother to answer her question.

  Where has Daddy been?

  It was a complex question for one so young, and Kristy wasn’t quite sure how to answer it. One thing she knew for sure, Arella deserved an answer.

  “Well, you know how your father is a prince?” Arella nodded seriously. “He’s a prince in a country called Al-Harmid. Maybe when you see him tomorrow, you can have him point it out on a map. Anyway, four years ago, he came to the farm to visit with the puppies.”

  “Dusty and Jane?” Arella asked with wide eyes.

  She chuckled. “Dusty and Jane were here, yes. Anyway, your father and I spent some time together, but he was only here for a visit. He had to go back to his country because he’s a prince, and he has to learn how to rule.”

  “So he can be a king?”

  “Something like that. They’re actually not called kings. They’re called crowned sheikhs. Your daddy is currently Sheikh Kashif, and when he takes over after his father, he’ll be Crowned Sheikh Kashif. I didn’t find out about you until after he was gone. I tried to get in touch with him, but none of my messages got through, so he never knew about you. I’m sure if he did, he would have been here much sooner.”

  “He’s here now,” Arella said with a drowsy smile. “We’re going to have so much fun, and he promises to visit me often.”

  Tears filled Kristy’s eyes when she leaned down to kiss Arella. Guilt weighed down on her chest when she realized how she’d been depriving her daughter. All this time, she thought she knew what was best for her, but the truth was that her daughter needed her father.

  “I’ll find a way to make it work,” she promised her daughter as she tucked her in. “I love you.”

  “Love you, momma.”

  Before turning out the lights, Kristy gazed once more at her beautiful girl. When she finally closed the door, she knew what she had to do.

  All this time, she thought stability was the way to go, but not taking risks had risked the most important thing of all. Her daughter’s happiness. She had to do better.

  Grabbing her computer, she headed downstairs and sat in front of the fireplace while she searched for what she should do next. Kashif was right about one thing. The farm simply wouldn’t survive if she didn’t make changes. The tours of the forest and the delivery service would help, but they wouldn’t solve the bigger problem. Dog sledding had been their main source of income, and it had dried up. The horse riding lessons were barely keeping them afloat.

  Hours passed as she researched. She read about a new sport big in the lower forty-eight—sand sledding—but it wouldn’t really solve her problem here in Alaska. She could turn the farm into a dog training school. She was good at that, and people had already asked her if she could train their dogs. That could even lead to a team of search and rescue dogs, but that kind of training started with puppies. Kristy had no doubt that she could turn her dogs into great search and rescue teams, but it would take time.

  More importantly, it would take time away from the things that were most important to her. She had to assure Arella’s happiness if it was the last thing she did. And that meant making sure that Kashif was a big part of her daughter’s life, even if he wanted nothing to do with her.

  Finally, she saw no other option. The dogs were her best source of income, but she needed a cushion of money if she was going to make it work, and the only way she could do that is if she sold the farm.

  Would her father understand? Would Aunt Julia? Mistywood had been in her family for generations, and it pained her to realize that she would be the one to hand it over to someone else, but what choice did she have?

  Maybe if she’d taken a chance sooner, she wouldn’t be in this mess.

  “I’m sorry, Daddy,” she whispered as she closed the laptop. First thing in the morning, she’d go to the real estate agent to figure out what she needed to do.

  19

  Kashif was stiff when he walked into the lodge at Mistywood the next morning. He hadn’t slept at all, but he didn’t want to miss a single second of seeing Arella before he left.

  A part of him had hoped to see Kristy as well, but he had no idea what to say to her.

  He found Arella with her Aunt Julia sitting at the kitchen table. The older woman looked like she’d been crying.

  “Good morning,” he said cautiously.

  “Daddy!” Arella yelled with a big smile on her face. Kashif couldn’t help but feel the pride swell up inside him.

  “My sweet thing.” Swooping down, he picked up Arella and tossed her gently in the air before catching her. She giggled and begged for more.

  “Kashif,” Julia said quietly. “Kristy told me that you found out. You can’t blame her.”

  “I only want to focus on the time that I do have with Arella,” Kashif said with a sigh. “I’m not going to take her away, if that’s the reason that you’re crying.”

  “I know that,” Julia said with a smile. “No amount of money or power on this earth would pry that little girl from Kristy. She’s worse than a momma bear.”

  “She’s a good mother,’ Kashif acknowledged.

  “She is.”

  “So what’s the matter?”

  Julia sniffed and sighed. “Kristy is down at the real estate office. She had the deed for the farm in her hand. I don’t know what happened, but she couldn’t even talk to me about it. When I asked her what was wrong, she started crying and telling me that she saw no other way out of it.”

  Shock cascaded through him as he stared at her. “Kristy is selling the farm?” Why wouldn’t she have told him? Silently answering his own question, because she thinks I hate her.

  “I think so. I know things haven’t been going well here, but I guess I didn’t realize how bad until I looked at the books. It’s not her fault. She can’t be blamed for the nicer resort or global warming, but I could see the guilt in her eyes. I’d bail her out, but we don’t have the money.”

  “What does she plan to do when she sells?”

  Julia got up and grabbed the laptop. “I found these on her computer this morning. I think she’s planning on working strictly with the dogs for training classes.”

  Kashif pulled up the websites and couldn’t help but smile. Kristy had looked at sand sledding first before moving on to training search and rescue dogs. They weren’t terrible ideas. Kristy could go back to her love of training, and with her talents, she’d whip her dogs and anyone else’s, into shape in no time.

  But that’s not what her dogs were meant to do, and that saddened him more than he wanted to admit.

  “Julia, do you know which agency Kristy went to?”

  “There’s only one in town. Kathryn Dulles is the only real estate agent that we have.”

  Kashif nodded. “All right. Kristy said that I could spend the day with Arella. Is it alright if I take her for a walk in the forest?”

  “Sure. Just be careful. A single hair out of place on that girl, and Kristy will murder you and bury your body where no one will ever find you.”

  “Duly noted,” he chuckled. “Come on, Arella, we’ve got a few things that we need to do today. Are you up for it?”

  “Puppies?”

  He nodded his head. “Sure. We can take the puppies, but let’s leave the goat at home, deal?”

  “Deal!”

  Later that night, Kristy couldn’t sleep. Wandering downstairs to get something to drink, instead of returning to her bedroom, she found herself in Kashif’s room.

  She could still smell him as she stretched out on his bed. Burrowing in the warmth, she closed her eyes and imagined that instead of the coverlet, it was his arms wrapped around her, protecting her. Alone, and unable to keep it together any longer, she didn’t bother to swallow back the tears that gathered in her eyes.

  How had everything gone so wrong? Two weeks ago, she was a hard-working single mother who managed to make her life work. Now, sh
e knew the difference between existing and living her life. And as soon as she’d realized how she felt about Kashif, how happy she was to have him in her life again, she lost him.

  Kristy could understand how he must feel. His words continued to squeeze around her heart. Lies. Betrayal. He was so right.

  “Please come back,” she whispered in the darkness. “I love you.”

  As usual, the darkness refused to respond.

  Finally, she cried herself to sleep. It was a merciful sleep, devoid of dreams, and she had no idea how much time had passed, but when she woke up, she knew that she wasn’t alone.

  The bed dipped as someone sat on it, and she immediately recognized his presence. Kashif cupped her face and stroked his thumb across her cheek as if to wipe away the tears.

  “Kash?” she whispered not daring to believe he was really there. “Is that really you or am I dreaming again. Please don’t let it be a dream.” The tears from last night appeared again and she tried to wipe them away but he beat her to it.

  Rubbing her cheeks gently with his thumb. “I am very real. I promise you,” he murmured.

  “But you hate me. I was awful. I kept Arella from you. I shouldn’t have. She deserves a father like you. Only you. She deserves you. Kash, I don’t know what I’m saying. Oh, God, please, if I wake up now, this will be so very bad.”

  “Shh,” he whispered. “You don’t have to say anything, habibti. Just enjoy the moment.”

  Shaking her head, she tried to push his hand away. “But that’s just it, Kash. I don’t want just this moment. I want lots of moments. Strung together. I want a lifetime and you can’t…”

  Before she could say more, Kashif leaned down and silenced her with a kiss. The moment their lips touched, she forgot everything that she wanted to say to him as heat blossomed deep inside her. Her arms went up to wrap around his neck as she pulled him closer to her. She had no idea if this was goodbye but if she never had a chance to tell him how she felt, she was going to show him now.