Long Hill Home

by Kathryn Pincus

  “Only that the guy has a reputation for being a womanizer and a brute with women when he does not get his way. I’ve heard rumors of course, but I also experienced a little of that personally. Do you remember that night we were out celebrating our bar exam results? We were at O’Malley’s Tavern and Barnard kept pulling at me and refusing to take no for an answer.”

  Sam’s eyes grew wide with the memory. He remembered the jealousy, but also the feeling of inadequacy as he left Kelly to fend for herself. He tried to sound casual with the recollection. “Yeah, I do sort of remember that. The guy was a total asshole.”

  “I have also heard that he was arrested for assault in high school—although that may have been expunged. And I think he has been through a messy divorce or two. You can probably get some stuff from women he has bullied or similarly mistreated.” Kelly finally sat in the chair. She had a look of determination on her face as the case against her attacker solidified.

  Sam looked at his watch. “Kel, you are really, really sure about this ring and scar thing?”

  “Yes, I’m sure of it. It took the wind out of me just now when I saw him. I saw his ring and his wrist scar, and that big hand as he tied his shoe. I was sickened by it—it was such a moment of clarity, of certainty.”

  “Okay. I promise you, I’ll get in touch with the right people here and we will figure out how best to get Barnard. DNA would be a beautiful thing, but also, interviews of women he had relationships with, and a check to see if there has ever been any record of arrest or even a complaint against him that is relevant to this type of behavior. Of course, I’ll look over the evidence they have so far against Chad McCloskey, in case anything points to Barnard. I’ll call you once we get rolling on this.”

  Kelly stood. As Sam walked her to his office door and opened it, she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “I can’t thank you enough, Sam. I will feel a hundred percent better when this guy is nailed. I know you are the man for the job.”

  Sam blushed. “Well, if I’m not, at least I’ll know the person who is.”

  “You were always too modest, Sam. You deserve to be the attorney general of Delaware by now.” Kelly turned and walked away.

  Sam lingered to watch her walk until she turned the corner toward the elevator and was out of sight. He knew that the uneasiness in his stomach was not from his suppressed feelings of love and desire. This time it was terror. By being indecisive and insecure in the past, he had fallen short when he had a chance to protect her. He could not let that happen now.

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAD: SEPTEMBER 28, 2011

  CHAD RESTED ON his side on the narrow bunk in his cell facing the cinderblock wall. Other than meals, showers and the one-hour supervised time in the rec room each night, Chad passed his time in this position: lying quietly and feigning lifelessness seemed to be his best option.

  “Hey, you! Fresh Meat!” Chad heard the disturbing calls from a cell far too proximate to his own. He kept looking at the wall. “You can’t ignore me, Fresh Meat. Fresh Meat! Fresh Meat! Fresh Meat! Fresh Meat! I am gonna keep chanting until you talk to me.”

  Chad shouted at the wall, “Shut the fuck up!”

  “Oh. A tough guy,” the scary man continued. “I just want to know what you did to get in here, Fresh Meat.”

  Chad continued to ignore him.

  “Hey, Fresh Meat!” His tormentor would not relent. “I got a job for you. Tomorrow you can pick up my soap for me in the shower.” The man started whooping loudly and Chad heard other inmates’ voices join the laughter. He felt the hair rise in the back of his neck in alarm, but there was nowhere he could go and nothing he could do. So he continued to face his wall and pretended not to hear them.

  Against the din of his tormentor, Chad heard the clink of keys on his prison door cell. Alarmed, he turned around to see the guard opening the door and another inmate entering. The man was thin with a newly shaved head, and tattoos covering his arms. Chad noticed he even had tattoos on his neck, peeking out from under his prison garb. A long thin scar ran down the side of the man’s face. The guard closed and locked the door quickly and walked away without saying another word.

  Chad swung his legs over his bunk and jumped down. “Um, hi.”

  “Hey,” his new cellmate grunted, barely looking up.

  “I’m Chad.” Chad said, extending his hand for a handshake.

  “That’s fucking great,” the man said. “I’m locked in a tiny cell with a prep school asshole.”

  Chad quickly withdrew his hand. He was surprised and hurt by the man’s words, and humiliated for not knowing proper prison etiquette. He started to climb back up into his bunk when he felt a hand grasp his left ankle.

  “Where the hell do you think you are going?” The man growled.

  “To my bunk.” Chad said, forcing himself to look the man in the eye.

  “I don’t think so, asshole. I get the top bunk. I always get the top bunk.” The man glared at Chad. Then he looked away, in the direction of Chad’s tormentor two cells down. “Isn’t that right, Paco? Don’t I always get the top bunk? Tell this prep school asshole who I am.”

  “Hey, Fresh Meat,” the man responded. “You have the privilege of bunking with a leader of the Latin Kings. If you want to stay alive in here, you better do as he says. Maybe he’ll make you his number one Bitch.” The man laughed loudly.

  Chad felt his knees get weak, and a wave of nausea gripped him. He swallowed hard, clenched his fists and, fighting the urge to cry, he tried to look brave and uncaring. “Whatever. I don’t give a shit where I sleep, okay?” He sat on the lower bunk with humiliation, fear and rage all churning inside of him. Then suddenly, he heard his own voice yelling, “Oh, and by the way, my name is not Fresh Meat or Prep or asshole. It’s Chad!” Chad was shocked by his outburst. He sat silently, waiting for his new cellmate to pounce. After a moment though, he looked up and saw that he was quietly chuckling and shaking his head.

  “Man, oh man. Okay. That’s more like it, amigo.” The thin man with the tattooed neck looked at Chad with what Chad hoped was a tiny flicker of respect. “Don’t worry about what that loco dude Paco said. I am only into chicks.”

  Chad resumed his position facing the wall—this time on the lower bunk. He heard the thin man climb up on to the bunk above him. Then he heard him mumble through the mattress, “They call me Rico.”

  Chad relaxed a little, now that he felt his cellmate was less likely to kill him in his sleep. He closed his eyes and tried to forget his cinderblock confinement. He brought into focus in his mind a picture of his mother smiling, sitting next to the gurgling Brandywine River and holding a straw picnic basket. Sunlight streamed down through the trees of the riverbank, creating a patchwork of sunlight and shadows on her happy face. He finally found his escape in slumber.

  CHAPTER 23

  KELLY: SEPTEMBER 28, 2011

  KELLY TOOK A deep breath and tried to gather herself before stepping through her garage door and onto the slate floor of the mudroom. The sight of her daughters’ colorful rain boots and muddy sneakers in cubbies comforted her. She stood quietly in the mudroom, straining to hear Dan’s voice coming from the kitchen as he helped Anna with a homework assignment. While nervously fingering Grace’s yellow hoodie, she concentrated on his steady calm voice. She wanted to go to Dan, tuck her head under his chin and cry into his chest. She wanted him to know that she had come face-to-face with the man who had turned her world upside down, and that he was still out there. But for now she had to be calm, comfortable and strong in front of her daughters. She walked tentatively toward the kitchen.

  “Mommy!” Grace shrieked, looking up from a Disney coloring book and clutching a purple crayon. She jumped to her feet and ran over to embrace Kelly with her slender arms.

  “Well, that’s what I call a welcome,” Kelly laughed. “Boy! It feels good to hug you!” She looked across the room where Dan and Anna still sat side-by-side, with a math workbook on the table in front of them. “How about
you two? No hugs for Mom?”

  “Hi Mom,” Anna said, with one finger twirling a long lock of hair. “Dad’s helping me with long division, and it really sucks.”

  “Hey!” Dan said loudly, causing Kelly to jump. “Anna! What have we told you about saying that word? You just lost half your allowance this week for that, and we do not want to hear that word again. Understood?” Dan and Kelly were silent as they both glared at Anna. “Yeah, well that sucks, too!” Anna yelled as she got up, turned from the table and ran upstairs to her bedroom.

  Dan quickly rose and started to follow her, flush with anger.

  “Dan!” Kelly said, as she reached out and grabbed his forearm, stopping him. “Please stop. We’ll talk to her later. I think you and I need to talk right now.”

  “She’s been impossible lately,” Dan said, waving at the homework books left open on the kitchen table as he spoke. “I even got a call from her teacher today saying that she left her science class on a supposed bathroom break and just disappeared. A teaching assistant had to go search the entire school property before she found her sitting on the little kids’ swing set. She would not explain herself to her teachers or to me at all.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?” Kelly asked.

  Dan was silent for a moment, looking at his feet and then into his wife’s eyes. “You have enough to deal with at present. Besides, I think her behavior is related to your behavior lately, so maybe it’s not a good idea to involve you.”

  Kelly bit her lip to remain calm and said to Grace, “Baby, please go up to your room for a bit. Mom and Dad need a little alone time.”

  Gracie looked at her father for a moment, and Kelly saw him nodding his affirmation. She quietly gathered her coloring book and a fistful of the scattered crayons on the table and left the room.

  “Gee, Dan, I’m sorry. Have I not been a model of good behavior lately?” The anger and bitterness in Kelly’s tone made Dan flinch. “Maybe because I was tied up and raped by someone who’s still out there, I am still feeling just a little off! Maybe you could suck it up for a little while and try to help with the kids and help them get through this without heaping more guilt and blame on me.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Dan rarely displayed anger. “I’ve not gone to work since you were attacked. I have tiptoed around you and the subject, and answered your every need. Jesus Christ, Kel! Something horrible happened to you. I get that. But, you know what? We are all still here!” Dan stopped for a moment. He couldn’t find the words.

  “I came home to tell you something really important, and instead of finding my husband ready to listen, to comfort me, I get criticism and blame about my shitty parenting!” Kelly continued her rant.

  “I was only telling you what’s going on with our daughter. Kel, I don’t know what to do. I am trying my best.”

  Kelly paused for a moment and looked at her husband. She knew she had been unreasonable, but she was not in an empathetic mood. She quickly changed the subject. “Dan, it’s Jack Barnard. He is the guy who raped me.”

  “What?” Dan looked up at her. “Who the hell is Jack Barnard? What are you talking about?”

  As Kelly explained her case against Jack Barnard, Dan took her hand in his and led her to the family room sofa. He listened quietly, soaking in every detail. He knew that his wife was a successful attorney because she had an incredibly sharp memory and was meticulous in her attention to detail. He knew without a doubt that Kelly had figured out the identity of the monster that had deliberately and irreparably injured his wife and their family.

  As Kelly described her morning encounter with Jack Barnard at the courthouse, and the moment when she knew for certain that she was looking at her attacker, she began to cry with loud sobbing sounds that were unlike anything Dan had heard before. Her mournful wailing frightened him. He instinctively reached his arms out and wrapped them around his broken wife. He noticed Anna and Grace peeking around the corner of the staircase. Dan motioned them away quietly by nodding his head toward the stairs and mouthing, “Go back upstairs, now!” The girls were clearly frightened, too, and they quickly ducked back up the stairs.

  After a few minutes, Dan felt Kelly’s body relax a little, and her sobbing eased. She lifted her head and looked at Dan. Her mascara was streaked and pooled under her eyes and a line of snot ran out of one of her nostrils. “Well?” Kelly shuddered and caught her breath. “What do you think of all this?”

  Dan put his left hand on her chin while he gently dabbed at her eyes and then her nose with a tissue.

  “Dan.” Kelly said again. “Please, say something.”

  “I want to kill this fucking bastard!” Dan’s eyes were ablaze.

  “Daddy? What is happening?”

  Kelly froze in horror as she saw their daughters again peering around the corner of the bottom of the stairway. She also felt a twinge of hurt and jealousy as Anna addressed her question to their father, as if she was not even there.

  “I thought I told you girls that Mom and I needed some time alone.” Dan said in a tone that sounded less like anger and more like tired resignation.

  “Please! What’s going on?” Anna said. “Why is Mom crying and who are you going to kill?” Anna twirled her hair nervously and Gracie started crying.

  Dan sat mute for a moment. He exhaled deeply and tried to regain his composure while trying to think of what to say.

  “Girls,” Kelly spoke before Dan could. “It’s time for a real family meeting.”

  The girls came into the room almost shyly. Gracie sat on the couch next to Dan, while Anna sat in the armchair across from the couch, with her arms protectively crossed in front of her chest.

  “You both know that I have not been feeling well lately, and that I was resting after I was in the hospital.” Kelly looked at her girls’ faces as she spoke, trying to watch their reaction to her news. “Well, I was hurt by a man, and he is about to be in a lot of trouble and put away somewhere so he can’t get out. He was mean only to me, he does not want to hurt you or Daddy and he can’t do that, anyway. I am getting better every day and I need you both to try to be brave and patient. Can you do that?”

  Both girls nodded their head. Dan continued to sit quietly as Kelly continued. “And I want you to know that you can ask me about this, and that you might hear people talking about it at school, and that it might be a little scary or embarrassing for you, but we are all going to be fine.” Kelly looked at her daughters as she spoke. Gracie looked down at her hands in her lap, while Anna continued to nervously twist a long lock of hair around her finger. Kelly looked up at Dan when she said the last sentence, as if she was reassuring him specifically.

  “And Anna,” Kelly continued talking. “I know you were embarrassed when you heard kids at school talking about my attack, and I know you are angry that I have not been around for you while I was recovering. But you are old enough now to know how to deal with those emotions. You can talk to Dad or me, or you can go see a counselor at school if you want. But you do not have a license to be rude to your teachers or your parents or to skip class and ignore rules. Understood?”

  Anna rose from her chair crying and ran to her mother. She hugged her as she sobbed, “I’m so sorry, Mom. I’m scared.”

  Grace got up and tried to put her little arms around them both, an awkward three-way hug. Dan moved over and wrapped his arms around all of them saying, “We’re going to be okay. We are the Mighty Malloy Family!”

  *****

  Kelly and Dan climbed into bed. They were exhausted and emotionally drained by the day’s events. Streetlights in front of their home cast a warm glow through the bedroom windows. Dan glanced at Kelly sideways. In the soft light he noticed that her cheekbones were more pronounced than ever, sharper against her pouty lips and her big dark eyes. He thought that her new short hairstyle made her look vulnerable, although he was sure that she had chosen it to look stronger. He was surprised to feel arousal stir in him, and then an aching as he stiffened.
He turned on his back completely, looked at the ceiling and emitted a loud sigh.

  Kelly knew that he was frustrated and feeling disconnected from her. She could not fathom ever wanting to have sex again, but she was surprised to feel a sense of loss, as if she was mourning the death of that part of their relationship. She closed her eyes and saw a continuous reel of images of their bodies coming together over the years. First there was the night in Key West, their bodies twisting and grinding on the wet sand and the stars in the sky behind Dan’s face and shoulders over her. Then their slow lovemaking in front of the living room fireplace while babies slept upstairs. Kelly remembered Dan guiding her into a new position, trying to emulate a picture from the Kama Sutra open on their bed. She recalled their tearful and tender lovemaking on the squeaky little bed in her childhood home on the night of her father’s burial.

  “Kel?” Dan whispered into the space above them.

  “Yeah?” Kelly whispered back.

  “I, uhm, I… miss you.” Dan whispered, hesitating a little as he murmured the words.

  Kelly felt a flutter of something in her stomach at Dan’s words. It was not desire she felt though; it was fear. She missed him, too. She ached to hold him and to connect with him and to press against his strong arms and chest. But she winced at the thought of sex. She felt her thighs tighten as if precluding the possibility. She turned in bed toward her husband, bent her left elbow and rested her head on her hand. “Babe, I miss you too.” She let out a sigh. “I miss you too, but..” she couldn’t finish the sentence. She had no words for it.

  Dan moved toward Kelly slowly. She felt the pull of his warmth and of his quiet strength. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her gently. “It’s okay, Kel. I love you and I am happy just to hold you.” Dan said in his quiet husky bedroom voice that Kelly loved.