Unexpectedly Expecting!
Page 20
“I love her,” he said as he shoved the photo album back into the box. “I love her and I’m not letting her get away.”
The words shocked him. He turned them over in his mind to see if they were correct. He felt more than heard the answer. There was a sense of rightness in his heart. A warmth flooded him as he thought about being with Nora, having children and a life with her, growing old with her. She was everything he’d ever wanted.
He knew then that he couldn’t lose her. Whatever it took to convince her he would do. Because he’d finally figured out where he belonged—and that was at the side of his heart’s desire.
Nora worked mechanically, grateful for the years of training that allowed her to continue to cut and style hair with sure fingers while inside her chest, her heart was slowly dissolving. She’d hoped she’d already been through the worst of the pain, but with each breath, the agony increased until she didn’t know how she was going to survive without Stephen. How could she have told him that she wanted a divorce?
How could she have stayed with him, knowing that he didn’t love her?
That’s really what it came down to. The fact that he wasn’t willing to love them both. She’d meant what she’d told him—she didn’t have to be the only one in his heart. She could understand his need to love Courtney. They’d married, lived and grown together. They’d also been about to have a baby. If he would just make room for both of them. But he wasn’t willing to meet her halfway so she had to protect her heart. If she stayed with him, loving him and knowing that he didn’t love her back, she would start dying inside. Bit by bit, over time, until there was nothing left of her soul.
She couldn’t do that to herself or to her child. She had to be alive and ready to take on the responsibilities of being a mother. However much she loved Stephen now, it would only get worse in time. Far better to cut him out of her life while she was still able.
Oh, but she was going to miss him. She’d loved being married to him. Even when he was driving her crazy, she didn’t want to be with anyone else. No other man had ever taken the time to see past her prickly exterior. No one else would have understood that she was ambivalent about giving up her house. Not only had he understood, he’d given her all the time she needed.
She sprayed Debbie Watson’s new haircut, then smiled at her in the mirror. “All finished.”
“Thanks, Nora. You’re gifted.” But the thirty-something mother of four didn’t move from her chair. “What’s wrong?”
Nora touched her hand to her chest. “With me? Nothing.”
Debbie didn’t look convinced by her answer. “I would swear I just saw tears in your eyes. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Nora lied.
She knew that she couldn’t keep her divorce from Stephen a secret very long, but she wanted to try. She’d been the subject of gossip enough times to know how unpleasant it was going to be. Her brief marriage and the supposed resulting pregnancy would only add fuel to the burning fire of the Nora Darby saga. After Stephen left her, she would be marked as a man-hater for sure.
The front door opened with a tinkle as the glass bumped the bell hanging just inside the door frame. She automatically glanced up. Her entire body went still when she saw Stephen standing there.
She hadn’t thought he might follow her to continue their conversation. Didn’t he know that there wasn’t anything left to say? She opened her mouth to tell him that she was busy when something about his expression caught her attention. He looked shell-shocked, but also determined. And there was a light in his eyes that she’d never seen before. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and her heart beat faster.
He looked around, spotted her, then headed directly for her station.
“Stop right there,” she said, knowing she was an idiot for being glad to see him. She picked up a pair of scissors and held them out like a weapon. “I’m not afraid to use these.”
To her surprise, he smiled. “I know. You’re not afraid of anything, are you? I’m the one who’s afraid, although I just figured that out.”
He paused by Debbie’s chair, although he didn’t seem to notice the woman, nor the other interested bystanders in the salon.
“I didn’t realize a lot of things,” he continued. “I’ve been stupid and I’m sorry.”
“Honey, you’re a man. You can’t help that,” Mrs. Gelson piped up from her place at the dryers. She’d pushed back the hood so she could hear what was going on.
Stephen ignored her. “I have to talk to you,” he said, taking Nora’s hand in his and tugging her toward the back of the salon.
If she’d been wearing heels she would have dug them into the linoleum to resist. “Stephen, I can’t. I have customers.”
“They can wait. This can’t.”
He pulled her into the shampooing area. She thought about pointing out that her office would be a better place to talk, but she wasn’t in the mood to make anything especially easy for him. Besides, no one was at the bowls so they had a small amount of privacy. Not that he was likely to say anything she wanted to hear. She set her scissors on the counter and folded her arms over her chest.
“What do you want?”
Instead of answering, he pulled her close and kissed her. If she’d known what he was going to do she might have found the strength to resist him. Instead she melted into his embrace, savoring the scent and taste of the man she was going to love for the rest of her life. Passion, love and pain burned together in her heart. She’d meant it when she’d told Stephen she wanted a divorce, but she’d lied about finding someone else. She knew it was going to take a lifetime to recover from losing him.
“Stop,” she whispered, pushing away from him.
“You don’t want me to stop,” he told her. “You want me to keep on being with you and loving you for the rest of our lives.”
Her breath caught in her throat. She stared at him, at the light shining in his hazel eyes. He smiled.
“I love you,” he said simply. “I have for a long time. I didn’t recognize the symptoms because I didn’t want to have to deal with my past. It was easier to tell myself that it was friendship and passion, not love. But I was wrong.”
He put his hands on her shoulders and squeezed. “I don’t want to go back to Boston. I don’t care what the job is or even that you’d come with me—although I wouldn’t go otherwise. But that’s not the point. My life is here. In Lone Star Canyon. With you, Nora. Only with you. I want us to have our family here. I want to grow old here. I want our children’s children to talk about old Doc Remington and wonder when I’m finally going to retire.”
She desperately wanted to believe him. Inside she was torn, needing to know that he loved her and wondering how it was possible. She searched his face, her fingers following the direction of her eyes as she touched his cheeks, his nose, his mouth.
“What about Courtney?” she forced herself to ask.
Sadness crept into his eyes. “She never wanted to get pregnant. At least not when she did. She had a fellowship and was working long hours. She wanted to terminate her pregnancy, but I convinced her otherwise. When I lost both her and the baby, I felt punished for being selfish. I was afraid to go through that again.”
He swallowed. “At the risk of showing you that I have dark sides, too, my marriage to her was in trouble long before she got pregnant. But her resistance to having our child killed any lingering feelings. If she’d lived, we wouldn’t have stayed together very long.”
His words washed over her like a soothing balm. Later she would find out the details and ask her questions, but for now it was enough to know that she wasn’t going to have to compete with perfection.
“I felt responsible for all that had gone wrong,” he continued. “She and the baby were both gone. The only way I knew to fix the past was to punish myself. I did that by swearing I would never love anyone again. Pretty dumb, huh?”
She smiled. “As Mrs. Gelson said before—you’re a man. You c
an’t help being a little thick.”
He smiled, too. A slow, confident smile that spoke of love and a wonderful future. “Forgive me for being all the things I shouldn’t have been. For being selfish and blind. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I’d be lost without you. I can’t imagine anything more perfect than being married to you and having children with you. I love you with all my heart. I’ll do anything if you’ll just give me another chance. I thought I was marrying you to be close to my child and to keep you safe. I’ve realized I don’t have any control over the future. I did the right thing for the wrong reason. Now I want to change that. I want us to stay married because we love each other. Tell me I’m not too late.”
Her heart filled with joy, but she didn’t give in to the urge to throw her arms around his neck and promise him the world. Instead she drew in a breath, determined to be as honest as he had been.
“I love you,” she said. “I have for a long time. But before we make another commitment to each other, we need to make sure we understand each other.” She hesitated. “You don’t have to stay in Lone Star Canyon if you don’t want to. I don’t want to leave, but I will because I need you to be happy. But you have to understand this is who I am. I’ll always be a hairdresser. I’m not going to college and getting a fancy degree just so you can tell your doctor friends that your wife is a lawyer or psychologist or something.”
He swept her up in his arms and spun her around the small room. “I don’t want you to change anything.” He put her down and kissed her. “I love you. Because you’re a hairdresser and you give with your whole heart. Because you have more throw pillows in your house than I’ve ever seen in one place before. Because you’re the smartest, sassiest woman I’ve ever met. Stay with me. Love me. Be my wife.”
Suddenly she was laughing and crying and holding him close and repeating the word “Yes” over and over. When she was silent, they gazed into each other’s eyes.
It was only then she heard a faint sniffing sound. She shifted so she could look at the entrance to the small alcove. There stood her entire staff and every customer in the salon. Most of them were crying and smiling all at the same time.
Mrs. Gelson waved a lacy hankie. “I never thought I’d live to see the day a man would scale Mount Nora and live to tell the tale.”
Epilogue
E xactly nine months to the day after the incident of the broken condom, Nora Darby Remington delivered a perfect, healthy baby girl. She was six pounds, ten ounces and nearly twenty inches long, and even the delivery nurse had to admit she was uncommonly beautiful.
That night Stephen stared up at the cold, clear January sky and saw the stars twinkling down at him. A sense of contentment, unlike any he’d ever known, filled him. His wife and daughter were sleeping peacefully. Tomorrow they would all go home to their new house and begin their life as a family.
He knew he’d been very lucky to get a second chance at love. Especially with a woman like Nora. She knew him as well as he knew himself…sometimes she knew him better. Over the past few months he’d talked about his life with Courtney, explaining what had gone right and wrong. They’d vowed to always talk about what was bothering them, even when throwing dishes seemed so much easier. She’d held him when he’d ached for the loss of a tiny baby boy. And she’d helped him heal.
A tree stood in their backyard. It wasn’t very big now, but in time it would grow to touch the sky. A small brass plaque dedicated the tree in the name of a child who had never seen the sky or felt the warmth of the sun. It had been Nora’s idea.
All the best ones were.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-4376-1
UNEXPECTEDLY EXPECTING!
Copyright © 2001 by Susan Macias Redmond
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 300 East 42nd Street, New York, NY 10017 U.S.A.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
® and TM are trademarks of Harlequin Books S.A., used under license. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.
Visit Silhouette at www.eHarlequin.com
*Hometown Heartbreakers
*Hometown Heartbreakers
*Hometown Heartbreakers
*Hometown Heartbreakers
*Hometown Heartbreakers
†Triple Trouble
†Triple Trouble
†Triple Trouble
‡Brides of Bradley House
‡Brides of Bradley House
**Desert Rogues
**Desert Rogues
**Desert Rogues
‡‡Lone Star Canyon
‡‡Lone Star Canyon