Ascend (The Vampire Destiny Series Book #4)

by Alexandra Anthony

  “I will never give up on her. I would follow her in death to be with her.” Stefan insisted, the hitch in his voice interrupting my inner thoughts. He sighed in relief and I felt the softness of his fingers stroke over the top of my hand. Like a reassuring caress, I wanted to hear Stefan’s voice reassure me again and again. It seemed like all I could focus on was the resonating cadence of his words and the gentleness of his touch.

  Losing myself in the contentment of being with Stefan, the hours dragged and bit-by-bit, the pain continued to recede, sluggishly pulling away from my arms and legs. It was little relief. All of the pain seemed to have radiated to my torso. Everyone was still in the room and I could hear them all drift closer. Focusing on Stefan's steady breath, I used his scent as a comforting blanket. I let it wrap around me, blocking everyone and everything else except him.

  "I’m not trying to be a prick, Stefan but why did you change her now? Did she ask you to do it?" Nikolaus' voice broke through the silence of the room again. His accusing question brought an eerie quietness to the room as every one awaited Stefan's answer.

  "I did not change her willingly," he said, his normally smooth voice sounded stilted as he stammered over his words. "After the explosion…we exchanged blood and her body began the change on its own accord. She told me she was dying to be with me. Just as we were destined to be."

  "A vampire with no true maker." Lukas piped in. "She could be uncontrollable. Christ, she’s already unpredictable and hotheaded. But now…now we may need to disappear until she is under control."

  NO! My mind screamed out in disagreement. I didn't want to go into hiding. There were things I needed to do, dammit. I wanted to find Garrett’s journals; I wanted to handle my unfinished business with my father. I even wanted to marry Stefan. My fingers clenched into a tight fist before I realized what I was doing. Searing pain shot through my chest with the intensity of a lightning bolt strike. Red-hot agony ran down my spine, blinding spots of light shooting behind my eyelids.

  "Hmm," Nikolaus whispered. He moved closer, his footfalls echoing in my ears. "Obviously she didn’t like that idea."

  "Vackra." Stefan's voice was at my ear again. "We will do whatever you want. I promise."

  His gentle words calmed me and as time passed, the others grew restless and would move in and out of the room, but Stefan never left. At one point, he started humming softly, either out of habit or at some attempt to calm me or himself.

  Nikolaus came in a final time. "Not long, Stefan. The pain is subsiding."

  "Leave us." Stefan's strained plea sounded hoarse and gruff. "Please."

  "She'll be fine, Stefan," Nikolaus said. I heard his voice grow softer as he stepped farther and farther away. "If you need us, we'll be close by."

  The room grew quiet again. My pain increased and involuntarily my back arched off the bed and my entire body tremored. I released a final, shuddering gasp and the pain...the agony that had consumed me was gone, leaving me feeling strangely empty as my body slumped back on the mattress. Our bedroom was silent, except for the reassuring sound of Stefan's steady breath. Yet all around me, the vivid sounds were deafening…I could distinctly make out the sounds of four people breathing, the continual ticking of the clock on the wall, the shuffle of Lukas’ feet as he excitedly jumped up and down, the soft murmur of Anna talking to Nikolaus and the rumble of cars on the street below.

  I took silent inventory of my body. I still felt like me. But everything was different. I could hear more; smell more than I ever had before. Even the clothes on my body felt strange. Normally, the soft cotton of my t-shirt would feel comforting. Now it simply felt foreign, the fibers rough and scratchy against my newly sensitive skin.

  Finally gathering the courage, I opened my eyes to my new reality. It was like seeing the world through the eyes of a newborn child. Everything was bright, in perfect focus and exquisite detail. I could see tiny dust particles floating in the air above me, the tiny, almost imperceptible cracks in the ceiling above me now stood out in sharp detail and the ticking of the clock was so very, very loud for my sensitive ears.

  But it was the heaviness of Stefan’s sigh that made me search out the anchor that had held me to this reality and helped me weather the agonizing storm my body had endured. For a moment, I simply listened to him, trying to search for his presence in our bond. I was shocked at the silence of my mind and the absence of his.

  The bond that tied us together was gone. The emptiness that filled me was staggering.

  He didn't know I was conscious. I was sure of that when I heard his whispered prayer, spoken in his native tongue. "Odin, far-wanderer, ge mig vishet. Mod och seger. Vän Thor, ge mig din styrka. Och båda vara med mig."

  With those words, I realized he was on the verge of falling apart...something Stefan would never knowingly let anyone, even me, witness. He wouldn’t want to let me see how much my change was affecting him. I almost didn't move from the bed, knowing he would attempt to mask his feelings and try to shield me from his turmoil. But the urge to go to him was much too great and impossible to resist.

  His large, normally imposing frame sat hunched over in a chair. His elbows were braced on his thighs with his hands folded behind his head. His blond hair fell over his forehead, shielding his eyes. When I eased the covers aside and sat up, he showed no sign of noticing my movement, his gaze still fixed upon the floor. As I stared at him, I was shocked to see his fingers trembling.

  My stomach knotted tightly. With the link between us frayed, I couldn't feel his emotions or access his thoughts, leaving me at a disadvantage. Silently, I approached his side. When I cautiously touched his shoulder and spoke his name, he jerked as if I'd struck him.

  Before he could reject my comfort, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly, burying my nose in the comforting smell of his neck and simply breathed him in.

  He was rigid as stone underneath me at first. He gradually relaxed, sweeping me into his lap and holding me with a fierce protectiveness. My throat clogged with unshed tears as he held me firmly. I gulped them back; my tears were the last thing he needed right now. I pressed my lips against the thickness of his shoulder in silent communication.

  After a long while, I felt him loosen his hold. "I am sorry..." he began. I cut him off by touching a finger to his lips and shaking my head to stop his words.

  "Uh-uh. You’re not going to do this because I’m not sorry for changing. No one can keep us apart now. This is the way it was destined to be." I reminded him gently. "Right now, I need you to just hold me and let go of everything else," I insisted, knowing he wouldn't be able to refuse offering me comfort. As if our touch alone restored it, the bond between us opened completely, the electricity between us humming with renewed strength.

  His immediate sense of relief caused silent sobs to shake his shoulders. I was speechless at seeing this strong man that had ripped creatures apart with his bare hands fall apart like this. Did he regret that I'd no longer be so fragile? Would he miss the small remaining human part of me…my blood, my heart beat?

  "Never." He vowed, reading my unspoken worries. He tilted my head back to gaze into my eyes. His face was streaked with pink tears, standing boldly out against the paleness of his handsome face. "I was terrified that you would not wake. I could only sense your pain in the bond until you touched me. You were a complete void to me."

  I felt my lips tug up at the corners. "As if you could get rid of me so easily. You're stuck with me, Stefan. Forever."

  His face relaxed and the soft smile he reserved for me relaxed the tenseness of his lips. "There us nothing I want more than that. Jag alskar dig."

  His large hands smoothed my hair away from my face as his bright blue eyes searched my face. "I did not think it would be possible for you to be more beautiful. Yet you are."

  His soft words made me smile, and if I could have blushed, I would have. Looking up at him through my eyelashes, my vampiric eyes took him in. I saw details I couldn't have seen before with my mu
ch weaker human vision. He was more beautiful than my human eyes and mind could ever comprehend. The flawless skin of his face glowed, the intense blue of his eyes sparkled. The prominent arch of his high cheekbones tapered to the sharp square of his jaw. My fingers traced the contours of his face, relishing the satin of his skin under my fingertips. My thumb dragged across his lower lip, aching to feel the powerful sensation of his mouth against my own.

  "I love you too," I whispered. He was always perfect to me, but he'd never looked this stunningly gorgeous. Studying his face even closer, I could see more than the light blue of his eyes; there were tiny flecks of green that I'd never seen before. I noticed the feathery laugh lines that seemed more prominent. His flesh was smooth, his once hard body pliable under my hands. I placed my fingers against his cheek and smiled as he leaned into my touch.

  "You are back with me. The way it should be." He touched his lips to mine, slowly, tentatively. I melted against his powerful body, my lips working in tandem with his. Wrapping my legs around him, I squeezed him closer and heard him grunt softly in pain. “You are stronger now. Unbreakable.”

  “Unbreakable?” I echoed, loosening the grip my legs had around him. My mind whirled into overdrive as I thought of all the things I no longer had to fear. No illness could touch me and I’d walk away from a car crash literally unscathed. No human death could take me away from him.

  “Yes. You are unbreakable.” His mouth began a slow descent down my neck. His tongue circled over the now silent pulse point. “And you are perfection.”

  A moan slipped from my lips at his words. As his mouth continued to nip at my throat, his hands roamed over my clothes, lingering over the heaviness of my breasts.

  “You know what I want, Stefan. I want you to take your time with me…I want you to show me what you’ve been holding back from me.” I laced my fingers through his and squeezed his fingers around mine, tightening his hands around my breasts. My head rolled back and hot desire clawed at me, sharp and begging to break free.

  I heard muffled conversation from the other room and the knowledge that visitors were close by seemed to snap me back to the present. I did my best to put a damper on the desire that swirled in my veins. “I know they’re out there waiting to see me. Let’s go see them and then you can have me. All of me.”

  His familiar growl rumbled deep in his chest. His mind suddenly veered sharply away from the assembled vigil just rooms away. He was already planning…scheming.

  My head snapped up and our eyes met. His were hooded and dark as his gaze seemed to pierce my heart. "We have an eternity, right? I want you too, but I at least need to see them." I finally said softly and gently caressed his stubbled cheek with my fingertips. His skin felt so different now...or was it me that could feel things differently? My mind was struggling to stay focused. I sighed and traced the outline of his arched cheekbone. "I’m sure you know, but I heard everything that went on while I changed. It was easier if I was quiet...for me and you. And I…I’m sorry that you thought you’d lost me."

  Stefan didn't reply, but instead grasped my hand with his own and slowly moved it down his face to his mouth. He wearily closed his eyes and kissed my palm with his warm, gentle lips. The softness of his mouth and the tenderness of the gesture caused me to close my eyes and gasp. Smiling crookedly, he turned my hand around and brushed his lips across my knuckles. Slowly, I pulled my hand from his grasp and placed it on the back of his head, gently rubbing the crown of his scalp. He moved his entire body forward and met my lips in a yet another hesitant kiss, moving slowly and deliberately. He reached his left hand around the back of my neck and pulled me even closer, his large hands tangling in my hair as the kiss deepened and the energy humming between us reached a fever peak.

  Normally his kisses would leave me breathless. Without the necessity to breathe, it seemed as if the kiss would never end...nor did I want it to. Teeth nibbled at lips, tongues twisted together in a sensual symphony. The need and want between us almost spiraled out of control, even Stefan's kisses seemed different once the tentativeness and hesitation melted away. His lips, while tender, were much more demanding than they’d ever been. We’d been separated much too long.

  He had been holding back on me. The realization washed over me, my stomach clenching in the most delicious of ways, a warm, primal need settling over me. If his kisses were so wild and untamed, what else would be?

  I’d already forgotten about the worried group assembled in the next room, lost in him. He reluctantly pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. "I am not ready to let you go and as much as this pains me to say, your brother is waiting. As is Anna and Lukas. They have been worried as well."

  Oh. Each of their faces fluttered though my mind, the images fuzzy and hard to focus on. It was as if I was looking through my human memories with a Vaseline covered lens, glimpsing at out of focus, hazy pictures. I ruffled his soft hair between my index and middle fingers as my mind refocused. "Right. My mind..."

  "Is jumbled and confused." Stefan finished knowingly. His sea blue eyes glittered in understanding. “I promise, it will get easier to balance what you are feeling. It will not always be so overwhelming."

  Blinking at his words, I couldn’t help but wonder if I wanted to discover a balance? How easy would it be to let my primal instincts take over and only worry about Stefan? We could just forget everything else for the next century. No sooner had the thought began to unfurl alluringly in my mind, I realized how cruel and selfish that would be to the others standing by, waiting for me to emerge. We were a family, regardless how dysfunctional. We’d be together for an eternity.

  "Promises, promises," I whispered. I dropped a kiss on the end if his nose and reluctantly rose from his embrace. Stretching my arms above my head, I took silent inventory of my body. I felt stronger; any small aches or pains I'd had disappeared, my muscles strong and powerful. "The sooner we do this sooner I have you to myself, right?"

  A sexy smile twisted his lips and a blond eyebrow cocked arrogantly. He knew where my mind…and libido was currently hovering. It was somewhere between sizzle and inferno. "That would be the plan. Are you ready for this? How is your thirst?" Stefan questioned. His mind probed mine even as he asked. I could feel his worry and concern.

  Swallowing, I considered my thirst and bloodlust. Honestly, my throat simply felt dry. I felt no insane, all consuming need for blood. I was anxiously waiting to see my ‘family’.

  "It's fine. C'mon," I urged, pulling Stefan to the door. I reached for the doorknob when I remembered that Nikolaus was still partly human and I spun to face Stefan with fearful eyes. "Wait! Shit…what if…"

  Stefan stared down at me with a look of understanding on his handsome face. He knew that my biggest fear would be that once I smelled my brother’s sweet blood coursing through his veins, hear the enchanting wet thump of his heart I’d lose control.

  He knew me better than myself. Beautiful bastard.

  “Anna easily controlled herself around Nikolaus from the very beginning. You are his sister. Any desire you might feel for blood will be tempered by the knowledge you would be killing your sibling, yes?” Stefan reminded me, brushing the backs of his fingers down my jaw and lingering across my throat. “You can do this, Josephine. If there is anyone that can overcome desire for blood, it will be you. I know this. If I doubted you, I would not let you see a human to tempt you, vackra. I would not be so cruel to hurt you like that.”

  Taking in a deep breath of courage, I gave him a sharp nod and let him intertwine my fingers with his. “I know you wouldn’t. You have more trust in me than I deserve.”

  He chuckled; a strained smile graced his lips. “There is one final thing we need to discuss before we leave this room.”

  That sounded ominous. I simply stood and waited for him to continue.

  “Your shield. I am sure it is stronger now that you have made the change. You must promise me if I need to restrain you for any reason…you cannot use it on me. If you hurt an i
nnocent it would destroy you.”

  A makerless vampire. Lukas’ earlier words resonated in my mind. I could be uncontrollable. If I was unable to control myself and acclimate to being around humans, we’d be forced to go into hiding. I couldn’t let that happen…not with so much at stake.

  “I promise.” I sighed and squeezed his hand tightly. “I won’t use my shield on you if we are among humans.”

  “Or vampires as well. You cannot reveal this gift you have to anyone else. Your father knows, as does the three in the other room. The more people that know, the more of a threat you will be seen to be. We have enough enemies that would like nothing more than to see us eliminated. We need no more than what we have already.” Stefan advised. A familiar image of a man floated to the forefront of Stefan’s thoughts as he spoke.

  “Amir?” Saying his name made the hazy face of the strange, amber eyed man that I’d met only days earlier come into sharper focus. He was Stefan’s vampire brother…and Lukas’ lover.

  “He knows nothing. He will remain in the dark about this ability,” Stefan retorted sharply. I could tell by his tone and sense of resolve that our conversation regarding Amir was over. And for now, I’d give him that. However, this topic was far from closed.

  Narrowing my eyes, I peered closer at him. Amir was supposedly on our side, an ally for the greater good. Had something happened to make Stefan distrust Amir?

  Stefan glanced up at the ceiling and he heaved a heavy sigh. “You will never let anything rest. He has done nothing per se, vackra. Amir is my brother. You must remember I have not seen him in many years. I cannot read him to know of his true intentions and for many years, he harbored much resentment about his existence as an immortal. He is a concern and he will continue to be a loose cannon until he fully earns my trust. His cloaking ability makes him as blank to me as Kian and that will always worry me.”

  Fucking Kian. Just thinking about my birth father made the hair on the back of my neck stand up in attention and my blood boil. Evil, cunning and deadly, he would kill either Stefan or myself if given the chance. If I had anything to do about it, he wouldn’t come close to touching Stefan or me. The next time, I’d let my shield crush him. I’d feel no remorse at seeing him die.