Ascend (The Vampire Destiny Series Book #4)
Page 12
He took advantage of my closeness to wrap his arms around me, crushing me against the strong security of his chest. "I can not bear to see you hurt or feel your pain."
I nestled my head against him, relishing the comfort of his embrace for a moment. I listened to his steady intake of breath, felt his soft exhale against the top of my head. "I know. But I have to do this. We need to do this. I want our past back. I'm greedy. I want our past and our future, min krigare."
Laughter rumbled deep in his chest, the pleasant vibration reassuring against my cheek. "I will never grow accustomed to hearing you speak my language, vackra. Let us see your friend. But I am not happy about this. There are so many variables."
He reluctantly let me go. Not only did I know how Stefan's inner mind worked, I knew there were things he didn't want me to know. Not out of fear that I'd leave, but the concern of how I'd handle his long past.
"Variables, schmariables." I reached out to link our fingers together as I led him into Ellis Hall. Liev was a philosophy professor, but from Garett's notes and instructions, he had degrees in psychology and parapsychology from The University of Edinburgh.
He was also a powerful witch.
The discovery of this fact alone made Stefan's teeth set on edge, making him nervous about the power this man could wield, both mentally and metaphysically. His mind was constantly at work, never resting. He was always calculating, worrying, planning.
"C'mon. Garrett would not steer us wrong. I trust him." I stressed the fact that I trusted Liev. I hoped that my voice sounded more confident than I felt.
Through the bond, I felt rather than heard his disgruntled acceptance. Even though he'd never met my uncle, Stefan trusted me. He also understood my lack of confidence. We were going out on a limb, relying on a man I barely knew to lead us to the truth.
Liev's office was buried in the bowels of the large brick building. We walked down a long hallway, our footfalls silent as we approached his office. We were both on guard, our predatory nature taking over as we crept towards the unknown.
We came to a stop outside of his office door. I snuck a glance at Stefan. Every muscle was tense, his powerful body slightly crouched as he stood at my side.
"Ready?" My thoughts reached out to him. The better question was if I was ready?
He gave me a swift nod, his pale blue eyes unblinking as they focused on the door. He was envisioning scenarios, planning strategy. His thoughts became confused as his mind began to see muddled visions of our meeting play out in his mind.
"How long has it been since you've seen this man?" His mental voice had an uneasy edge to it.
My eyes snapped to his. "Ten years...well, four if you count the funeral."
"Liev is not human, Josephine." Stefan’s mental voice continued bluntly. His eyebrow rose slightly. "He is a..."
Not human? Before I could fully comprehend Stefan's comment, the door swung open, revealing my uncle's trusted friend. He was of average height and thin, his black hair falling around his intensely handsome face in a tumble of curls. His hazel eyes sparkled as he glanced between Stefan and myself.
"You've discovered my secret, I see. I'm in good company. Josephine Anderson…it's been much too long. And Stefan Lifsten. Your name precedes you. It is an honor and a privilege to meet you. I've been expecting you both. Come in."
He stood aside and let us enter his cramped office. The walls were lined with shelves of journals, books and clutter. He picked up file folders off of two chairs and moved them to a credenza by his desk, dropping them with a thump, sending a flurry of papers flying in the air. Stefan and I both sat down, two identical images of suspicion.
Liev slumped into his desk chair, leaning his lanky frame back into the worn leather. His eyes traveled first over Stefan, then glanced at the journal I clutched to my chest. His hazel eyes met mine. "I see you've found it. You wouldn't be here if you hadn't of course. I knew it would be a matter of time. You can't fight destiny."
Neither Stefan and I moved an inch. We sat rigid in our chairs, facing Liev Banin. We were both on the same page, waiting for him to continue.
He tented his index fingers under his lower lip as he eyes drifted over us both. "Congratulations are in order. You are no longer Anderson. At least under human laws."
"I haven't been Anderson under supernatural laws for quite some time, Liev." My lips parted in a tight smile. "But we're not here to play catch up. I...we need your help."
"Garrett advised me 15 years ago I would have the honor of assisting you in the part of your journey," Liev began. His heavy gaze locked on me. "Do you understand the ramifications as to what you are doing?"
"The ramifications? Explain." Stefan's gruff voice cut in, his already tense muscles tightening, standing out sharply through his thin t-shirt. His brow was furrowed, his mouth a thin line of worry.
Liev shrugged and stood, perusing a shelf for a book. He pulled the heavy text out and brought it to his desk. He resumed his previous slumped position and studied us both intently again.
"When we go back to unlock our past, we discover things about ourselves that can be detrimental as well as helpful. You may see things you don't want to remember, Josephine. You have been a watcher for many centuries. Your spiritual body was waiting for this form to complete your destiny. Even though this life has blocked those memories, they will return with the reading of the runes in the journal and a simple ritual."
Stefan's body was coiled as tight as a spring, ready to pounce on the man behind the desk. He was beautifully tragic, my passionate lover and fierce protector. He wouldn't be willing to risk my happiness or his own. I placed my hand on his muscular forearm, feeling his tense body relax under the touch of my skin against his.
"You said I was a watcher for centuries? What does that mean?" I questioned. I finally felt comfortable enough to sit back in the chair and face Liev without feeling the urge to attack.
"Let me tell you what I know of you, Josephine. Garrett and I had many discussions about your genealogy. You are a daemon. Daemons are good or benevolent nature spirits, beings of the same nature as both mortals and gods, similar to ghosts, chthonic heroes, spirit guides, forces of nature or the gods themselves. Walter Burkert suggests that unlike the Judeo-Christian use of demon in a strictly malignant sense. This is where I disagree, but I digress. The general belief in spirits is not expressed by the term daimon until the 5th century when a doctor asserts that neurotic women and girls can be driven to suicide by imaginary apparitions or ‘evil daimones’. How far this is an expression of widespread popular superstition is not easy to judge… On the basis of Hesiod's myth, however, what did gain currency was for great and powerful figures to be honored after death as a daimo. Daimon is not so much type of quasi-divine being, according to Burkert, but rather a non-personified “peculiar mode” of their activity." Liev took a deep breath and paged through the heavy text. "You are a Eudaemon. You…"
I sighed and raised my hand. My head was spinning from the overload of information he’d just spouted. "In layman's terms, Liev."
He pursed his lips and closed the book with a slam, rustling the papers on his desk. "You would be looked at like a guardian angel, a good spirit. And your mate," he glanced at Stefan briefly. "When he was human, he would have been afflicted with Eudaimonia, loosely translated into having an Eudaemon. He would have had a sense of well-being or happiness. In layman’s terms, I could compare what you are to the Roman concept of a genius who accompanies and protects a person or presides over a place."
"Continue." Stefan made a rolling gesture with his fingers. He was still lunging towards the vampire behind the desk. I could hear the faint, rumbling growl in his chest.
Liev's full, expressive lips broke into a smile. "He's a bossy one. You have your hands full with him."
I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Yes. And let’s not poke the beast. I’m sure if you asked him, he would say the same about me. Please, Liev. Can you tell us more?"
He swiveled in his
chair, the metal of the chair creaking like fingernails down a chalkboard. "The Hellenistic Greeks divided daemons into good and evil categories: agathodaimMn 'noble spirit', from agathós 'good, brave, noble, moral, lucky, useful', and kakódaimMn 'malevolent spirit', from kakós 'bad, evil'. They resemble the jinn of Arab Folklore and in their humble efforts to help mediate the good and ill fortunes of human life, they resemble the Judeo-Christian guardian angel and adversarial demon respectively." His fingers tented again and he glanced longingly at the journal in my hands again. "As I stated, you are a Eudaemon. The word eudaemon in Greek means having a good attendant spirit, happy. It is constructed by the prefix eu, which means "well" or "good", plus the suffix daemon, which is divinity, spirit, divine power, fate, or god. Also daemon is the Greek derivative for the term demon, in which case "demon" means "replete with knowledge". In Greek Mythology you were a type of daemon or genius, which in turn was a kind of spirit. As I explained earlier, a Eudaemon was regarded as a good spirit or angel, and the evil Cacodaemon was its opposing spirit. Without doing an incantation, I'm going to make the broad assumption that you were able to take on a human like form for Stefan while he was human. It was likely you were romantically, if not sexually involved then."
Sitting expressionless, I refused to either confirm or deny his assumption. It wasn’t until I felt Stefan’s gentle push through the bond that I began to relent.
Stefan's fingers laced with my own. "Tell him, vackra."
"I have one strong memory. During a dream like state, I met my deceased mother. She took me to the past to see so I could remember. It's confusing." I rubbed my temple with my free hand.
Liev's eyes sparkled and he leaned forward, as if anxious for new information. "Please. If you don’t mind, I’d like to hear your memory."
Closing my eyes, I recited the dream. "It was after the explosion. Our bond was severed and I wasn't sure if Stefan was alive or dead." I swallowed against the lump in my throat. "I fell asleep and my mother took me back to see Stefan as a human. I heard him cry out for me ‘Skjarr kvikindi. Hitta minn hlið síða. Elskaminn, dveljask innan minn fold. Fá minn lífdagar, fagr víf’. He wanted to die to be with me then. And then I saw myself. We were happy. We were in love"
Liev’s voice came out as a whisper. "What did he say? I do not know Old Norse."
Smiling bitterly, I translated his words. “’Shy creature, come to my side. Love me, stay within my world. Take my life, beautiful woman’.”
He nodded and glanced between Stefan and myself. Stefan’s eyes were fixed on the floor, his mind frantically searching for the human memory. He was growing increasingly frustrated that he couldn't remember his human life.
"May I see the journal?" Liev asked gently.
Extending the journal to him with a shaky hand, I abandoned my chair and moved to curl up on Stefan's lap. My fingers fanned through the golden silk of his hair, my lips brushing over the length of his neck.
Liev was silent as he poured over the journal. Several times he blurred to the bookshelves, pulling texts and paging through them for the answer he was seeking. He would then scribble on a note pad, his fingers streaking across the page.
"I love you, Stefan. No matter what happens, we are supposed to be together." I reassured him, inhaling the unique smell of him. He always smelled like woodsy sandalwood and the ocean. "We loved each other then. We love each other now."
He stared down into my eyes, the harshness of his cerulean eyes softening as he stared into mine. "I know. I am not worried about this." He tapped my chest with his fingertips. "I am worried about what will happen here." His fingers moved to my temple.
Liev's voice broke into our silent communication. "I can translate if you are ready."
I sprang from his lap and moved to stand at Liev's side. "Please."
Liev took a deep breath and slowly began to translate, his finger running between his notes and the journal. "What was buried will now be seen. The third eye does not deceive. The truth will be seen. The Visions of the past, the truth of the future. Powers revealed, powers revoked. A new life begins with the blood of eternal life and once silent hearts will beat again. An eternity of undead immortality when two lives forge. Two souls become one. Be vigilant for untruth. Be prepared for strife. Forged as one, your power is unity."
That was it? A paragraph of some sort of incantation? The book was filled with writing. “There has to be more?”
He handed me back the journal and a small smile played at the corners of his lips. "The rest is basically what I explained to you about what you are. If you need more information, you know where to find me. I can help you regain your memories. They don't have to stay in the past."
"We can trust him?" Glancing up at Stefan, he nodded a hesitant reply to my silent question. He cocked a blond eyebrow and wrapped a possessive arm around my waist.
"It's something Stefan and I need to discuss. How long will you be here, Liev? You can't keep up the charade here forever." I looked around the cramped office and I pressed closer to Stefan, shifting my weight from foot to foot. He'd been here for nearly 20 years and he looked the same. Surely someone had noticed. "You've been here awhile. Too long..."
He pushed back his black hair and grinned widely. "You are new to the world of the supernatural, Josephine. I was a witch a long time before I was a vampire. Humans see what they choose to see. I simply help them along."
I studied him for a few more seconds before I managed an answering smile. I still struggled reading people. I'd relied on my psychic abilities and they were long gone. Would I ever trust my gut instinct to learn to trust someone at face value? "Could you come to New York if we decide to proceed?"
Liev sat back down in his leather chair, the leather creaking under his weight. He folded his hands and met my stare before focusing back to Stefan. They exchanged a long look. "For you and for Garrett, I will. He was a good man." He opened a desk drawer and fished out a card. "This is my personal number. Call when you need me."
I slid his card in my back pocket. "Thank you."
Stefan inclined his head and led me towards the door. He opened it a crack when Liev's voice rang out.
"You'll be getting many surprises. Trust few and look within your inner circle. You have a wolf within the flock."
Stefan and I both froze. He found his voice before me. "A wolf? Explain."
Liev’s lips twisted into a somber smile. "Someone within your inner circle will betray you. You have a Judas in your midst."
"How do you know?" I sputtered. Yanking myself from Stefan's grasp, I was at Liev's desk in a blur. "Is my father..."
"I read your cards. As for your father...he will not stop. He has a mission, just as you do."
***
"Hello, Josie." I couldn't see through the darkness to the person speaking, but I could feel him there as if he was all around me, as if he was hidden in the darkness.
"Garrett?" my voice was coarse but quiet.
He stepped out of the shadows. Slim and well dressed in a dark suit, his brown hair was wavy and sprinkled with grey. His blue eyes were covered with his metal-framed glasses, the ones that always slipped down his nose when he was bent over a book.
"You're a little late if you're here to offer advice," I bantered. The lightness drained from my voice. "I found the journals. And your note."
"I wish I could reassure you," Garrett stood an arms length away, giving me room to breathe. "You look like you need someone to talk to."
"I..." I paused. "I feel like the only person I can trust is Stefan.”
He took off his glasses and polished them with a cloth he pulled from his pocket. "I know. And for that, I am truly sorry."
I watched him pocket the small square and slide his glasses back on. "Why is that?"
"This is not what I wanted for you. You were born into a life you didn’t ask for." He sighed loudly. "Josie, I should have told you who I was. I'm trying to right that wrong."
On cue my stomach clenched and a
cold shiver ran up my spine. "It's funny. I said almost the same thing yesterday. If I would have known...I could have prevented this."
"You couldn't have stopped Kian. He would have killed us regardless." His voice had a hint of sorrow to it, and in that moment I felt weight lift from my shoulders. "Stefan had been waiting a long time for you. It was time."
Nodding, I stared down at my feet. I didn't know if I'd have this chance again. "Garrett, I'm sorry. You were a wonderful father...I realize that now. Things are going to get harder, aren't they?"
His hand clasped my shoulder, and even though it was freezing to the touch, I could sense the compassion. His voice dripped in empathy. "Things always look bleakest before the storm."
I looked into his kind eyes. "What do I do?"
He turned, walking into the growing shadow. "You do whatever it takes to protect your family. You avoided death with immortality, but eternity is a long time to carry regret and grief."
Our time was over. He was slipping away. "I know."
Garrett advanced into the black flames of the darkness as I was pushed towards the light. Just before I braced myself, I heard him speak again. "Now for my sage advice. Let the guilt go and regret nothing you do if it means you live to see another day. One day soon, you'll pass those words on to one that you love. Goodbye, Josie. I love you."
I awoke with a gasp. It was early morning and I was up long before the sun. Stefan was asleep, his legs tangled in the sheets.
Brushing my hand over his hair, I stretched and climbed from the bed. Grabbing jeans and a faded t-shirt, I headed down the hallway without making a sound. As I entered the kitchen, I made short work of preparing my breakfast. A month ago, I'd be brewing coffee. This morning I was drinking bagged blood.
Potato, potahtoe.
I was draining the glass when a loud knock brought me back to the present. My mind scanned through the people that knew we were here. Lukas, Anna, Nikolaus, the caretaker of the house...who would be dropping by for an early morning visit?