by Jaymin Eve
“Max,” I said softly; he would hear me even if I whispered. “Just slow down. We need to talk about it. You can ask me anything. I’ll explain it all to you.”
Forcing those words out was enough to have my stomach rebelling again, and I had to shut down so I could breathe very deeply. Every part of me hoping and praying that I wasn’t going to throw up my lunch.
With my luck it would go all over both of us, and if he didn’t stop running soon we were going to find out. I gagged and covered my mouth. A second, more wrenching spasm rocked through me, and thankfully Maximus chose that moment to slow down and come to a stop. I was gently deposited to the ground, and immediately I hunched over, heaving as I fought the nausea. There was a whoosh of air, and I was alone for a moment, before suddenly his warmth and scent wrapped around me again.
I felt a trickle of cool air as Maximus brushed my hair back from my neck, then something damp pressed against my forehead. My eyes closed at the pure bliss; the cold was enough to tame my pregnancy-induced heaving fit. I lifted my head, seeking the vampire, who was crouched close to my side, holding me in one arm and using his other to run the damp cloth down my heated cheeks to my neck.
“I’m sorry, Mischa.” His low words were deep, gravelly. His eyes were still blacker than black, his features almost luminescent as the energy of his kind held him in its thrall.
I straightened, wiping at my mouth. I’d managed to not vomit but still had that bile taste coating my tongue. Gross.
“There’s a river just on the other side of these trees,” Maximus said. “If you’re okay with walking, the water is safe for you to drink.”
I nodded. “I’d kill for some water right now.” His knowledge of the nearby river explained where he’d gone to wet the rag, not to mention there was now a ragged tear on the bottom of his dark-blue shirt. That’s where the cloth had come from.
He wasn’t touching me now, and unease was filtering back through us. This horrible tension seemed to be a fundamental part of us. Only those first few days of our time together had been fun and flirty. Then we had sex and everything changed. If I knew sex was going to cause me this much trouble, I wouldn’t have bothered. Okay, that was a lie. I actually kinda loved every second of it. Whichever male came next as a possible mate in my life was going to have to live up to Maximus … and his shoes would be pretty darn hard to fill.
Following him closely, I could smell the dampness and hear water thrashing so loudly we must be approaching what I could only assume was a massive, torrent filled lake.
Nope.
When we pushed through the last of the trees, I found a waist-deep, filled-with-rocks, pretty, burbling brook. There I went forgetting about my supersonic supe hearing again. To keep me safe, my wolf had been locked down most of my life. With her release I’d gained her additional senses, and still kinda sucked at controlling them.
Relieved to be stepping away from our tension-filled space, I increased my pace to drop down on the edge of the creek. Leaning forward, I cupped my hands into the clear water and lifted it to my hot face, removing the last of the nausea-sweat coating me.
Pregnancy was really doing a number on me. At least the witch seemed to think I wouldn’t be in this condition for that much longer, which was a definite bonus to being a supe. Poor humans had to go through nine to ten months of this, and I’d only have six. Of course, if my baby had been half fey … well, let’s just say by fifteen months I’d probably be ripping the child out myself.
I’m only kidding, bubba. You stay in there as long as you need.
I patted my stomach; it was really without thought now, second nature to touch my child. But then I remembered Maximus and my head shot up. He was watching me closely, still doing that glowing, vibrating, growling thing.
His growls were low this time, almost unnoticeable unless I paid close attention. I rose, brushing my hands along my pants to dry them. Instinct cut through me and control over my actions fled. My wolf brushed against my soul and rose up to settle within me. I knew she would be peeking out from my eyes. I’d spent many an hour in front of the mirror when I had first shifted, teaching myself how to bring her to the surface without actually changing. I loved to see the animalistic glow of her in my eyes, the slight alteration in my features as the supernatural side of me became dominant.
Most of the time it was difficult to not think of myself as human. I’d been with them my entire life and I usually felt human. But right now I had never felt less like the old Mischa.
There was a swirling of black in the vampire’s eyes as they followed me across to him. I wasn’t marching, more of a stalking stride. Stopping right before him, I held both of my arms wide. I was opening myself up to him, allowing him to step closer.
“What do you need to know, Max?” My voice was more growly than usual; that was my wolf’s influence. “What do you need from me?”
It wasn’t totally my fault that he didn’t know about the baby before now. He had been a grade-A asshole to me. Ignored me. Left without saying goodbye. He never even checked with me once when the dragon king was all up in my head. He couldn’t have made it more clear if he’d tried that he didn’t give a damn about me, but I still felt guilt that he was finding out at this late stage. Especially when he had to be hurting so badly because of Cardia.
Speaking of…
“I’m so sorry about your mate…” I let the low anguish in my tone seep out. “No matter what happened between us, I never wanted you to lose your love. The pain … I can’t even imagine.”
I only had my pain of losing Maximus to go on, and since true mate bonds were so much more than our little thing … well, I had no idea how he was functioning.
He still wasn’t speaking, which made me uneasy. What was I supposed to do? I had no idea, no precedent to go on here. Before I had to think too hard on it, he stepped forward. My arms were still spread wide, so he ended up pretty much pressed against me. Well, against my belly. He towered way over me, so I tilted my head right back to see his face, and when I did my heart pretty much stopped. His perfect masculine features were a wash of emotion, his cheeks slightly flushed as his head dropped down, his chin almost hitting his chest.
He was absolutely killing me here. I could scent tears, sorrow, and so much more from him. Finally, I couldn’t stop myself from reaching forward, but before I could touch him he surprised me by dropping to his knees. His black eyes met mine for a second, and I could see he was asking for permission.
Clenching my hands into hard fists, I used the pain of nails cutting into my palms to halt my own tears, before inclining my head in a single nod.
Slowly, almost reverently, he lifted his hands and placed them on either side of my belly. His large palms were hot, and instantly spread warmth through me. You’d think with the massive increase in padding around me I’d be a lot warmer, but I’d been feeling the cold really badly during my pregnancy.
Maximus still had to bend his neck to rest his head close to the baby. I wondered if he was listening for the heartbeat. His vampire hearing would pick it up easily.
We remained like this for many moments. My chest was aching as his tender and silent moment with our baby started cracking the protective shields I’d erected around my heart. I could not go there again, be that vulnerable.
I started babbling: “I never found out the sex. I want it to be a surprise. Jessa is having one of each and she’s already anticipating the drama her two little ones will get into.”
His eyes met mine, and I thought for a second something like amusement flickered across those dark depths.
“Thank you,” he said to me. The vibration of his body had eased; his vamped-out features were fading. “You’ve given me the greatest gift, something I never thought would be mine, and I owe you a thousand apologies.”
I blinked a few times, trying to wrap my mind around those words. I had never expected … he was saying everything I’d been hoping, praying, and waiting to hear.
But still
… there was something flat in his voice. Don’t get me wrong, I could tell he was overjoyed—it was obvious—but I was guessing it was hard to be really happy when it was me and not Cardia carrying his young.
As if sensing my distress, the baby started to move then. Strong limbs kicked out and nausea trickled across my lower belly when the baby rolled over. Maximus’ hands flexed against me; his eyebrows rose high as his eyes followed the movement of skin rippling across my abdomen.
“So strong,” he murmured, and I caught the trickle of a single tear as it tracked down his cheek. I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and brushing the wetness from his skin. It was the first time I’d voluntarily touched him, and it hurt as badly as I expected. It was so unfair. Why did my body crave him? Why did my hands seem to know him so well when I’d only held him for such a brief time?
If you asked me, it was bullshit.
Maximus Compass
The last few months had brought a whirlwind of change. Life-changing events shouldn’t happen every month, they should be spread out over years so that one’s goddamn heart doesn’t actually stop beating.
When Mischa dropped the baby news on me, the predator inside ripped free in a way I’d never experienced before. This wasn’t the first time I’d lost control of my vampire side. It had happened a few times before, especially in those early years of teenage hormones and newly discovered powers. But this was something so much larger. There was nothing I could compare the emotion to, not even meeting my true mate, or losing her.
Which was fucking sad when you really thought about it.
When Braxton had taken off with Mischa – to guard her from my loss of control – it did nothing but piss me off. He was protecting her, but she was not his to protect. Mischa was carrying my child, and I would be the one to place my body before any danger which sought to touch her. I would protect her and our baby with my last dying breath, and the fact that my own brother had thought I was a threat to her … well, I was going to kick his ass again … when I managed to pry myself away.
My child was not even born yet and already held a clenched fist around my heart. I was owned by a little supe, and my life would never be the same.
As my hands covered Mischa’s tiny bump, I could hear and feel the strong and rapid thrumming of the heartbeat, like a million miniature galloping horses. The tiny fighter continued to kick and roll under my hands, as if sensing I was close by and wanting my attention.
You have it, little one, now and forever.
A muffled sob wrenched my attention up, and I found myself entranced by those ocean-green eyes again. They were misty now, emotions washing tendrils of blue and yellow through them. Need and something so much more clenched deep in my chest, and I knew then that I was lost.
Mischa had truly given me a gift. My shattered heart was again beating in a strangely rhythmic manner. Her news had breathed life back into my world, but I needed to know how. How had this miracle happened?
I had so many questions, but one thing I definitely didn’t need to know was why she hadn’t told me earlier. I’d made sure that it was never easy for her to be alone with me. There was never a moment to confess something this huge. The fact that I hadn’t known the moment she did was solely on me.
Reluctantly removing my hands, which was so much harder than I’d expected, I got back to my feet. Not wanting to tower over her while she told her story, and worrying that she might need to rest her feet, I took her hand and led her across to some small boulders lining the creek. They were large and flat. Perfect to sit on.
The moment we sat, I pulled my hands back from her and rested them against my thighs. Then, like a stabbing lance, my emotions rose up again, the vampire fighting for dominance. Too much had happened lately and my control seemed to be getting even worse.
Except when I was touching her. For some reason, physical contact with Mischa calmed the beast. It hadn’t always been like that, though. Was this new bond I could feel between us because of the child growing inside of her?
Sucking in deeply, the cool, fresh air hitting my lungs hard, I started with the most important thing I had to say: “I owe you a massive apology. I haven’t been here for you at a time when you needed me the most. All of this must have been difficult and confusing, especially while trying to deal with Larkspur’s mind control. I just … shit, there’s nothing I can really offer but my sincere sorrow. I will do better, Mischa. I will be a better supe for you and our child.”
She made a noise like a strangled gasp. “I … I have waited so long to talk to you about this, but … I can’t quite believe you’re taking it so well. I thought you would be angry with me. Maybe even think I was lying about it being yours.”
Aw, my poor human-raised supe. “If you were lying, everyone would already know. We can scent the truth.” I had found it a little odd that the baby was scenting as pure shifter blood, but it didn’t bother me. If Jo Compass had taught me anything, it’s that you never knew what mixed-race matings would give you in the genetic lottery.
Mischa was all big eyes and flushed cheeks. She seemed completely staggered by my attitude. She couldn’t possibly understand the joy singing through my veins. Supes love children, and while it’s not difficult for us to produce them, it is generally harder than it seems to be for humans.
“It wasn’t your fertile time, Mischa, so how did this happen?” This was the reason I hadn’t initially thought the baby could be mine, the fertile periods for shifters were very clear.
She dropped her eyes, reaching out and running her hand over the smooth stone she sat upon. I could see the way she centered herself, gathered thoughts before speaking. She was so unlike Jessa, whose confidence was unparalleled. My oldest friend would not think before speaking, she just let her emotions fall free. Somehow it made Mischa’s words more appealing, like she had carefully selected them just for me.
“When my wolf side was suppressed…” she finally said, “it screwed up my body, hormones, and fertility. When I thought I was human, I never had a … fertile … period or anything. Mom told me not to worry, I was just a late bloomer. Of course, by my early twenties I knew there was something wrong, but since I figured I was probably never going to have children anyway, I never bothered to ask her about it again.”
Why the hell wouldn’t she have children? The question burned across my mind, but I would not interrupt her during her story.
“Then when I arrived at Stratford and found out all the big family secrets, everything made sense. I wasn’t human. When my wolf side was unlocked, Mom explained to me about fertile times and how to recognize them. Then when we were together, you mentioned that you couldn’t sense any fertility, so I never gave it a second thought.”
It was the truth. There had been no scent or sign that she was even close to her time to conceive a child.
“Basically, the unlocking of my wolf side threw my entire body into some sort of weird stage of created-fertility, trying to realign itself with the phases I should have been following all along. I literally created my own, virtually undetectable fertility … different to the normal shifter phase … but clearly still enough for us to conceive.”
I silently thanked the gods. Maybe the fates didn’t hate me after all. “I need to know everything, Mischa. How did you find out? Was anyone there with you?”
My guilt was again crushing me that she might have been alone to receive and deal with this life-changing news. If only I hadn’t met Cardia at the sanctuary, then Mischa would have come to me.
I had to shake my head at the realization that I’d have preferred not to meet my true mate in lieu of knowing of my child months ago. Braxton had to be right. That was not normal.
Mischa was explaining things quick and precisely. “I started to get sick, this aching pang in my stomach which really hit hard when we reached the Romanian sanctuary. Eventually I went to a healer and he ended up dropping the bombshell on me. I made him check twice. He was also the one who figured out how I ended
up pregnant when I had still not had a noticeable fertile period.”
Her fingers stilled along the smooth rocks, and finally her eyes rose to meet mine. I could see fires burning deep in their depths. “You had Cardia by then, and Jess was missing. I didn’t know what to do, and then the dragon king’s daughters, the twins, started hanging around me. They were so … persuasive. I was an idiot. I should have known better than to let them manipulate my thoughts and emotions. I’m so very sorry for the part I played in Larkspur’s rebirth. Everything which led to that … final battle.”
She’d already apologized to me once about Cardia, and instead of accepting her heartfelt sorrow I was kind of wishing she’d stop mentioning it. The darkness inside was starting to wind around my memories of Cardia. Starting to taint the bond even further.
Pushing this aside, I decided to address the other part of Mischa’s apology. Larkspur’s daughters and their evil ways.
When we’d had to run to the supernatural sanctuary, to protect her and her sister from being found as dragon marked supes, Mischa had fallen in with the dragon king’s daughters. Manipulative bitches, they messed with her head, and got her to help them free the king.
It wasn’t really her fault though. We should have been looking out for her. She knew nothing of our world. She was naïve and easily targeted. If anyone was to blame, it was me for rejecting her so brutally, and our pack for getting so caught up in other bullshit that we failed to hear her cries for help. I’d been wanting to tell her this for a long time:
“It’s not your fault, Mischa. The supernatural world is kill or be killed. You didn’t grow up here and that makes you vulnerable. You’re just too innately soft and trusting. There’s true goodness inside of you. The fact that others took advantage of that, well, the fault lies squarely with them—and with us for not being there for you.”
I had never been angry with her about this, even when others were looking for a place to leave their blame.
