by Jaymin Eve
Her face crumpled just slightly before she pulled herself together again. “I want you to know that I planned on telling you first about the baby. I never breathed a word of it until the day before the final battle. You still hadn’t come near me, and with the stress of Larkspur’s control … well, I broke down with Jess and confessed everything. Please don’t think that everyone knew about it behind your back and was talking about you or anything…” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Of course, once the belly popped out there was no hiding it, but before that I kept it quiet.”
It was interesting the way she phrased those words. Something told me Mischa had spent a lot of her life in the dark, having others know more about her life than she did. It clearly bothered her.
“I don’t blame you, Mischa. I accept full responsibility for what happened.”
She seemed to calm then, finally uncurling her legs and stretching them out. Following her lead, I extended my much longer legs out across the rocks before me. I let her words mull through my head. She had been so alone. Well, no longer. I had no idea what life was going to bring us in the next little while, but Mischa would not have to doubt me again.
The stillness of nature enveloped us, and even though I could have sat there in relative peace for days, I knew it was not safe to keep Mischa outside the protective barrier any longer. Especially if there was anarchy afoot with both the bear shifters and Kristoff.
I rose silently, preparing to reach across and help her to her feet, but she was already up and moving before I could. My vampire didn’t like that. I pushed the beast down as I followed her back toward the forest.
On the edge of the tree line I reached down and placed a hand on her biceps to halt her, before bending to scoop her into my arms. Before I could, though, she slammed a flat palm against my chest. Her strength and fiery expression brought a smile to my lips.
“I have feet and legs. I do not need to be carried around. I’m not Jessa.”
This little wolf was finding her fangs.
Under normal circumstances, I would feel the need to defend my best friend, but I knew Mischa had not meant it as an insult. She was trying to differentiate herself from her twin, and she, like everyone else in the supe world, probably thought I was in love with Jessa. I wasn’t, not anymore. Not ever really. My pack mate was the most infuriating, amazing, sarcastic, pain in the ass, and I wouldn’t want one second of life without her, but she didn’t stir my blood the same way Cardia had. Not even the same way Mischa did … does.
Shit, it was all so damn confusing.
I realized I’d never really told Mischa any of that. She deserved to know, especially now.
“I need you to know that I’ve never confused you with Jessa. Not really. Even when my emotions were a bit tangled between the two of you, I saw you, Misch. Only you. The timing was not the best for us, but under other, more normal circumstances, I think we could have had a shot at a chosen mateship.”
I was only speaking the truth, a truth I’d had many hours to contemplate.
She stared for many moments, then the slightest smile graced her lips. “Thank you for telling me that. I believe that too … but it’s too late now,” she said, not unkindly. “So much has happened, and there’s too much baggage. But I would be a liar to say that I’m not grateful to hear that our time together was not about you and Jess.”
I shook my head. “I see similarities between the pair of you, but you’re both very different supes. Not just your upbringing, but the fundamental parts of your personalities. You’re both amazing shifters, but…” I let the briefest of smiles escape then. “One thing neither of you do have is long legs or vampire speed, so for now, if we’re going to make it back to Stratford before nightfall, you’ll need to accept my help.”
She gave me stony eyes for a second and I could see her actively trying to figure out a way to get around me carrying her. Eventually, though, she gave a final glance down at her belly and let out a whoosh of air.
“Dammit! Okay. Thank you.”
I didn’t hesitate, having all the permission I needed to reach down and scoop her into my arms. Her slight weight was nothing as I held her close to my chest. I could hear the baby’s heartbeat again, and what sounded like tiny hiccups. A damn miracle. I was the luckiest vampire alive.
Okay, yes, I had lost my true mate. But even that pain was dulled by the roaring joy brought about by the sound of my child’s heart.
Mischa was silent for the first half of the journey back to Stratford. Eventually she started to wiggle around, lifting her head to see me. I could feel the heaviness of her stare. I knew something unpleasant was coming in the next conversation.
“Why are you not more broken up about Cardia?”
Fuck. Unpleasant, heavy, and impossible to answer.
“Ty said you’d be completely different, but … you’re not.” She paused for a moment. “Actually, you are different, because you’re being nice to me … how you were when I first came to Stratford. I mean … I bring you news that you’re going to have a baby, something I’m sure you expected to do with Cardia, and … dammit…”
She never cursed normally, and combined with her babbling it was clear she was both flustered and embarrassed. I could feel the heat of her skin as she fought for words.
“I’m making a mess of this conversation. Curiosity got the better of me, and I hope I didn’t upset you.”
She fell silent, and I could sense her withdrawing back into her more reticent personality. Which I did not like at all. Shit, I had to try to find the right words again, but Cardia was a sensitive point for me. Mostly because I had no fucking idea what the hell was going on there.
“Misch, I don’t know what to tell you. A baby is a wonder and gift no matter what circumstances brought it about. Yes, I did lose my mate, and I have been trying to dig myself out of darkness ever since. Your news seems to be the very thing for me to start clawing my way back to the light.”
My arms tightened even further, hugging her slight form closer to me. “Cardia and I were … complicated. Braxton said something to me about the true mate bond that I didn’t like. That’s why we were fighting. He believes … he believes she wasn’t really my true mate, that she couldn’t be because of the strange nature of our relationship … some of the distance between us.”
Only the faerie gods themselves would know why I had decided to share this information with Mischa. It had always been like that though. From her first night in Stratford when I’d walked her home, we’d talked about everything as if we’d known each other forever. That was the magic this wolf shifter held, and I had no explanation for it.
Her expression was carefully blank. “How could that be possible? True mates have a bond, right? You can feel each other and stuff.”
“Yes, and the connection did appear when I fed from her. It was like this sharp jab in my neck, and then I could sense … feel her emotions. Still, I’d be a liar if I didn’t say that the bond wasn’t what I expected from a true mateship. There should have been more attraction or love or something … I didn’t question it that much, expecting it would grow with time.”
Mischa shifted around and I started to slow, lowering my head so our eyes could meet. I wanted to focus fully on this conversation.
“The connection never deepened between you?”
I didn’t really know how to answer that. Truth was, the connection never did go to the place I expected. Cardia and I shared a bed, shared thoughts and conversations, but … there was a coldness in my mate which I didn’t care for. Even when I had to go into Faerie to search for Jessa, I didn’t mourn leaving her. I recognized that much more fully now. At the time I’d thought I was being practical, but now that I had a child on the way I knew nothing but the direst of emergencies would tear me from Mischa’s side, from protecting her. My vampire had claimed this little wolf shifter and our baby as pack, and we protected pack.
“Damn … I never thought of her as pack,” I murmured. “That�
��s what was wrong. My brothers, Jess, and you are all pack or nest mates to my vampire, but he never accepted her.”
Mischa coughed then, and I could see the red tingeing her cheeks again. “You think of me as a pack mate?”
Before I could answer she said, “I haven’t seen many true mates, but judging off Jess and Brax and my parents, it seems like there was something seriously wrong in the bond between you and Cardia. Is there any way to find out why?”
Damn, looked like Braxton might be right. I didn’t like the thought that my life and emotions had been messed with. Was Cardia my true mate and something had caused the rift? Or was the mate bond somehow manufactured so I’d believe her to be my mate? Why would that have happened? What was the end game in Cardia infiltrating my life?
“Could it have been about Larkspur? Or his daughters?” Mischa said, somehow cleverly picking up where my thoughts were going. “Could they have used Cardia as a ‘man on the inside?’ Larkspur’s daughters did know a lot about us. They used that information to get me to agree to their plan. At the time I never realized, but looking back I see that they knew exactly what emotional buttons to press.”
I ground to a halt, my entire body going into lockdown. The growls rocked me again, but I let them come this time as the rage bubbled up like an erupting volcano. “Are you saying that maybe this was all to make sure you were alone so they could use and abuse, manipulate and almost kill you, knowing you wouldn’t have anyone on your side to protect you? That Cardia was a plant to keep me occupied while all this shit went down?”
I was yelling at this point, which was stupid, but I couldn’t control myself. If Mischa had died in the Romanian prison, our child would have also. A child I’d never have known of. The very thought that I could have lost them both that day, was too much for me to handle.
Mischa wiggled out of my arms, and even though I didn’t want to I let her back to her feet. “I don’t know, Max. It seems very extreme just to make sure I was in a vulnerable position. Why didn’t they do the same for the other quads?”
My extended fangs had my words lisping again. I needed blood and less rage. My vampire was not so easily subdued right now. “Because they knew I was the one you were closest to. You relied on me for guidance when Jess was busy with Braxton and all of her other dragon marked troubles.”
Mischa fell silent. I could see the trembling of her limbs, hear the rapid beat of her heart as she fought for control. Unable to stop myself, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into me. My size engulfed her, but for some reason we fit together perfectly. Cardia had been just too tiny; there had been no easy way for us to hug. But Mischa … she was perfect.
“We’ll figure this out,” I murmured. “I’m going to get to the bottom of what the hell happened to me in the sanctuary. Cardia had nest mate vamps there. They might be able to give me some background or history.” I’d never found out that much personal stuff about her, she was so reticent with information. I never pushed her because I didn’t really care to know. I had no idea where she originated except she’d been in the sanctuary most of her life because of the mark.
Mischa’s trembles eased as I held her. The fierce expression was back on her face when she pulled away. “Max, she wasn’t affected by the dragon king’s call. I know we thought it was because of her bond with you and your calling to defeat the king, but what if she was never dragon marked? That mark could have been a tattoo, or like magically stuck on her.” Her brows rose and those depthless eyes went opaque. “That can happen, right? Magical tattoos and stuff?”
I nodded. “Yes, that can definitely happen. The mark would have been the easiest part for her to fake. How she got through the sanctuary doors is a much bigger question.”
My heart lurched. A feeling of disloyalty was strong and potent within my mind and body. Questioning Cardia was a betrayal of our bond, but at the same time I’d be an idiot to not question the issues that had been present in our relationship. Easy to ignore at the time, especially with so much going on, but now … well, I was going to find out everything.
I took a second to ground myself, using the stillness of nature, the scent of the forest, the call of animals around me. I wasn’t sure if I felt better or worse. The fact that the mate bond might have been falsely manipulated meant I wasn’t just a cold, unfeeling bastard toward my mate, but it also meant some asshole had messed with my life, and my pack. They had caused untold grief. I could have missed the birth of my child. If Jessa hadn’t insisted I return, and if I hadn’t had responsibilities to my brothers and our town, I doubt I would have returned home for a long time.
Mischa made a muffled noise, almost like she was clearing her throat, and my attention zoomed straight to her. But she wasn’t looking at me, she was staring into the dense, bushy forest.
“Did you hear something?” she murmured.
Immediately I unleashed my vampire. I’d had the beast so locked down that my senses were dulled. I should have known better when we were outside the town’s protections.
As I slowly circled, taking in the entire area, I reached out and pulled Mischa to my side. The slow steady thud of hearts beating and blood pumping started to filter through the air. She was right. More than one supe was closing in on us.
“Hold on,” I said as I snatched her up and took off. My speed was hindered only slightly by the additional weight – and the very large worry that too much jostling was not good for the baby. Shifters were tough, even when pregnant, but I would take no risks.
“I can shift,” she whispered up to me, her voice only slightly trembling. ‘That way if I have to fight I can.”
I gave a violent shake of my head. “No! No way will you be fighting in your condition.”
The breath whooshed out of me as she somehow managed to kick me in the gut. I recovered almost immediately, but hey … impressive shot.
Her voice thrummed with anger as she let loose on me. “Not trying to channel my twin here, but in regards to my condition, I’m pregnant, not dying, and you have no right to issue orders or demands. I’ll never blindly follow anyone’s orders ever again, and since I’m still very much in possession of a brain, you can explain yourself without demanding and we might even be on the same page.”
I knew it wasn’t in my best interest to laugh, but I was definitely enjoying this new side of Mischa. “My plan is to keep you and our baby safe. I’m the idiot who lost my mind and decided to bring you outside of the town’s protections. I can’t stand the thought that you two might be in danger…”
I cut myself off before more messed up thoughts fell out of my mouth. Every time I talked to Mischa, I ended up telling her so much more than I planned.
What the hell was this chick in possession of, some sort of magical faerie dust that had me spilling my innermost emotions? Definitely something going on there, but I had no time to deal with that. Now I needed to kill any motherfucker who thought they could threaten Mischa and my child.
Mischa Lebron
There have been a few moments in life which have defined me. The first was when I was three and almost killed two boys in the playground. They were five and six years old and had been bullying a little girl and her younger brother. Poor kids had been trying to build an epic castle, and I was wandering across the yard to help them out when all hell broke loose. The two boys, who I later found out were brothers, Mark and Mitchell Jones, were poor kids who had an alcoholic father and a prostitute for a mother. Still, at the very naïve age of three, I knew nothing of these matters, so when they started smashing the sandcastle, kicking sand into the faces of the other kids and shoving them around, I saw red.
If I’d been observing my three-year-old actions from an adult perspective, I’d have had no problem telling I wasn’t human. I ran faster than was humanly possible and dived across to pummel both of the boys into the ground. If Lienda hadn’t been close by, I had no doubt my red rage would have prevented me from stopping before I seriously injured them. It was lucky she was
there, and additionally lucky that not many others were around the park that early.
We moved the next day, and I got the biggest kick to the butt for acting on instinct, which confused me at the time – what three-year-old even knows about instinct? – and exposing us to the humans – another phrase which confused me. Still, that was the first time I started to understand that I was a freak, that I didn’t think or act the same as the people around me. It was also the first time my mom was really disappointed in me, and I didn’t even understand why. I now knew she’d been trying to keep me safe, but the truth was, her lecture tore me down and was the first time I started to question who I was. To hate who I was.
No parent should teach their children to deny their true self. Because of that moment I would spend the next nineteen years trying to mold myself to fit in with humans, and since I was not a human, all I really did was lose small parts of my soul, until there was nothing much left but the shell of a supe.
Some of my soul returned when I found out the truth of who I was, when I found out about the supernatural world. When I found my sister. That was when all of the messed up thoughts and events started to make sense. More pieces of soul clicked into place when I fell pregnant, because the pure rightness and love was so all encompassing that it changed me fundamentally. And now there was one more thing that had changed me, that I never anticipated happening.
Maximus Compass.
As he ran at vampire speed through the forest and lands of Connecticut, both of us probably being chased by psychos who wanted to kill us and wear our heads as a hat or some crap, I’d never felt happier or more content. His pure joy and acceptance of our baby, well, it was so much more than I’d expected. It was the first time I felt that I had someone in my corner. A friend even. I knew raising a baby was going to be tough – it takes a village and all that, or so the humans say. In my opinion, Maximus was going to be a pretty darn good village.
