by Holly Jacobs
Aaron had his eyes.
Joe had given him physical attributes, but nothing else. Not by choice, but that didn’t matter.
Joe had missed so much, so many things he should have done for and with his son.
He’d never gotten to change a diaper, never cradled him when he fussed. He hadn’t seen Aaron take his first step, never kissed a boo-boo. He’d never sat up with him all night when he was sick or afraid. He’d never sung him a lullaby.
Of course, with his lack of singing ability, Aaron probably wouldn’t miss that part, but Joe did. He resented the hell out of it.
The list of nevers kept growing as he sat on a bench at the end of the dock, mindlessly watching the sun sink behind the peninsula.
He hadn’t taken Aaron to his first day of school, hadn’t helped him with his homework. He’d never gotten to teach his son how to stand up to bullies, or how to stick up for the underdogs.
There were just too many “nevers.” The endlessness of them weighed so heavily on Joe he was afraid he couldn’t move under it.
Joe couldn’t change the “nevers.” His heart ached at the thought, but he was sensible enough to acknowledge one fact.
Joseph Anthony Delacamp had a son, and he didn’t plan to miss any more of his life.
That was a promise, to himself and to his son.
“Mamma, you’re sad today,” Aaron said that night.
Louisa had tried to keep up the appearance of normalcy for Aaron’s sake. Oh, rather than cooking dinner, she’d treated him to fast food, but that was a treat. She’d even managed to focus enough to scold him after he showered and missed a dirt smudge on his right arm.
“Soap. It’s not a real shower if you don’t soap all over,” she’d told him.
His grumbling had felt good. It had felt normal.
But nothing else did.
Joe Delacamp had met his son today.
The thought kept intruding, inserting itself between showers and scoldings, making her stomach clench and her head ache.
“Mom?” Aaron repeated.
She’d finished reading a chapter of the newest Harry Potter book to Aaron. It was their evening tradition. She enjoyed sitting next to him, feeling his warmth and sharing the quiet time with her son.
Her son.
Not Joe’s. Joe had made it clear he didn’t want children all those years ago, and today, when he’d turned and seen Aaron…
“Mom? What’s up?”
Joe Delacamp had met his son today.
Louisa pulled herself together and kissed Aaron’s forehead. “Nothing. I’m just tired. See you in the morning, bud.”
She walked woodenly toward the door.
“Hey, Mom?”
She turned back and drank in the sight of her son.
When he’d asked, she’d told him she’d loved his father, that they’d been young—too young to handle a relationship.
That much was true, at least as far as it went. She’d told him when he was older she would help him find and meet his father, if he wanted. He accepted her explanation and never seemed particularly bothered by the lack.
What would he think of Joe?
What would Joe would think of him?
Aaron was snuggled under the denim quilt she’d made him. It fit so perfectly with the dark-blue walls of his room. A giant poster of the planet earth was behind his head, other space pictures dotted the other walls. Aaron dreamed of being an astronaut someday, and she’d done her best to indulge him.
She wanted nothing more than for every one of her son’s dreams to come true.
“Yes, Aaron?” she asked.
“I love you.”
She held back the tears that threatened to overflow and managed to croak out, “I love you, too.”
She turned off the light, and shut the door.
Joe Delacamp had met his son today.
She was still numb.
No, she was aching. There was a lump in her throat, and she thought her heart was going to break all over again.
Joseph Delacamp had come into her store today, and he’d found out he had a child. He wasn’t pleased. She could see that on his face.
Maybe he was worried that she would come after him for support, or would try to make him take some interest in his son. His wife wouldn’t like that. His mother would like it even less.
Well, Louisa could put Joe’s mind to rest. She wanted nothing at all from him. He could keep his society wife and his society life.
Once upon a time she’d thought she couldn’t live without Joe…but she’d learned differently. She wondered that she was able to keep breathing after she’d left town…left him. And yet, day after day, breath after breath, she survived.
Not that it hadn’t been tough at times.
She’d moved to Erie when she was almost three months pregnant and had worked full-time throughout the remainder of her pregnancy for Elmer Shiner at his small chocolate store. Somehow she’d managed to survive her mother’s death, just weeks before Aaron’s birth.
Elmer had helped her through that. And he’d been the one to suggest she bring the baby to work with her, when Aaron was born.
Elmer had started out a boss and turned into her best friend. She smiled at the thought. Oh, maybe it was odd, having a seventy-year-old man as a friend, but Elmer was full of life and wisdom. He was the only father figure Aaron had ever known.
She owed him a debt she’d never be able to repay.
Everything she had, she had because of Elmer.
Aaron had never gone to day care, but had spent his first five years going to the candy store with her. He was a favorite with the customers.
When Elmer’s lease on the building ran out, he announced he was ready to retire, and sold her the chocolate-making machinery at a ridiculously low price.
He’d helped her locate her new building. Helped her set up everything and get the store off the ground. He still stopped in almost every day, just to check on her and was always willing to work when she needed him.
She heard the downstairs door slam.
She rented the upstairs flat. Elmer lived in the lower one. He was home.
Joe Delacamp had met his son today.
She ran down the back stairs that connected the two apartments and knocked on the door.
“Come on in, Louie,” he called.
“Elmer…” She wanted to tell him everything that had happened and tried to force the words out, but her throat constricted, and all she managed to do was cry.
“There, there, puddin’. Don’t cry.” He wrapped her in his arms and patted her back.
“I don’t cry,” she said midsob.
“What happened?” the gray-haired man said in a gruff voice. “Did something happen to Aaron?”
“No,” she finally managed to say. “Not really, at least not that he knows about. His father came into the store today.”
Joe Delacamp had met his son today.
Elmer let her go and stared at her. “What’s he doing in Erie? I thought you left him behind in Georgia?”
“So did I. But he’s here. He’s working at the hospital, so he’s living in Erie.” She gulped convulsively. “Oh, Elmer, it’s so horrible. Aaron walked into the room and Joe knew—he couldn’t help but know. Aaron’s the spitting image of him at seven. Joe knew and he looked furious. He’s probably worried a secret son will upset the life his parents planned for him, that it will upset his perfect society wife. I don’t know what he’s going to do, and I’m sick with worry.”
“Now, what’s to worry about? He went and got himself engaged to someone else all those years ago, despite the fact he’d asked you to marry him. So you sign some paper saying you don’t want anything at all from him, make it all legal,” Elmer said, echoing her own thoughts. “You and Aaron have got along without him this long. You certainly can manage. Just go see a lawyer and make it all legal-like, then he’ll have nothing to complain about.”
“You think?” she asked.
; She needed reassurance. She’d built a wonderful, happy life for herself and her son. She didn’t want Joe Delacamp to complicate it.
“Sure I think.” Elmer patted her back. “Now, stop fretting and go get some rest. You call a lawyer. That Donovan guy across the street seems okay. At least Sarah seems to think so.” He laughed.
Weddings seemed to be becoming commonplace within the Perry Square business community.
Libby at the hair salon had married her neighbor, Josh, the eye doctor. Then Sarah, the interior decorator who’d opened her store about the same time Louisa opened The Chocolate Bar, married Donovan, from the neighboring law firm.
“You’re right. I’ll call Donovan tomorrow.”
“Then call me. I’ll watch the shop when you go and see him.”
“Thanks, Elmer. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Well, don’t look to be figuring it out anytime soon. I plan to stick around a good long time.” He paused a moment and then said, “Did I tell you I have a date?”
“No,” Louisa said, knowing he was trying to change the subject, to brighten her mood. She was more than happy to allow him to. “Who?”
“You know Mabel, that acupuncturist? I was a bit nervous about dating a lady who pushed pins for a living, but she’s mighty cute.”
Louisa couldn’t help the small smile. Mabel had been hanging out at the candy store a lot, but only on days when Elmer was there. She sensed a romance in the making. “When are you going out?”
“Next week. She asked me for this weekend, but I told her me and Aaron had plans.”
“Oh, Elmer, you should have simply canceled.”
“Are you kidding?” he asked. “There’s a bunch of blue gill in the lake that have my name on them. And I got tickets to some fancy-shmancy show Mabel wants to see, so it all worked out.”
“If you’re sure.”
Joe Delacamp had met his son today.
Why couldn’t she shake that thought?
Because Joe was in Erie.
Somewhere, right outside that window, Joe Delacamp was walking around, breathing the same air she was.
Elmer must have sensed her thoughts. He said, “I’m positive about fishing with Aaron. Now, don’t you fret about that man—though I use the term in its very lightest sense. He got engaged to someone else, which means that not only isn’t he much of a man, he’s not very bright, either. Just call up Donovan tomorrow, and take it from there.”
Louisa felt a bit better as she climbed the stairs back up to her apartment. Of course Elmer was right. Joe hadn’t wanted children eight years ago; he wouldn’t want his son now.
The thought wasn’t quite as comforting as it should have been. She climbed into her pajamas and went to her room. She pulled a dark-green journal from her drawer and started writing.
“Dear Joe, today you met your son—the son you never wanted….”
As she wrote, she glanced up at the eight similar books that sat on the top shelf, above the television. She’d started a journal right after she found out she was pregnant and had bought a new one when Aaron was born. After that she bought a new journal on each of her son’s birthdays.
If Aaron ever wanted to meet his father, she planned on giving them to Joe as an introduction of sorts. An introduction to a son he’d never known and hadn’t wanted.
My heart froze in my chest when Aaron walked in. I saw the look of understanding dawn on your face, and then the raw, bitter anger. I wanted to tell you that I was sorry, but it would have been a lie. No matter what your mother said, I didn’t plan to get pregnant, I wasn’t trying to trap you. You were engaged to someone else and asked me for time. I’d have given you anything…but I didn’t have time to give. Your mother was right—Aaron and I would have held you back from the life you were born to have. My only sorrow was that you’ll never know what you missed.
She wrote and finally she rested. Her last thought was Joe Delacamp had met his son today.
Chapter Two
Joe waited outside the candy store, still uncertain what to do, what to say to Louisa.
He worked third shift last night, and was kept busy for the entire eight hours. But at the oddest time a mental picture of the boy, his son, would explode in his mind.
Aaron.
He’d whispered the name to himself, marveling in the wonder of having a son, and strangling on the knowledge that he’d missed so much.
He spotted Louisa walking down the block.
She still was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever met. The kind of woman who didn’t realize how striking she was.
If all that lay between them didn’t exist, she was the kind of woman he’d ask out.
Her expression when she spotted him gave none of her thoughts or feelings away. So many things about Louisa were different than he remembered, but that was probably the biggest change in her.
When they were kids he’d been able to read her like a book. Well, now the book was closed, at least for him.
He refused to speculate about whether there was another man reading her these days.
Joe met that emotionless face and wondered if maybe he’d been wrong, maybe he just thought he’d known her when they were kids.
The Louisa he’d believed in could never have done what she’d done.
“Louisa, we have to talk,” he said.
“Come in,” was her wooden response.
She unlocked and opened the front door and set a stack of papers down on the counter to her left.
“What do you want, Joe?”
What he wanted was to have the first seven years of his son’s life back, but since he couldn’t have that, he settled for asking, “Why?”
Maybe if he could understand, he could forgive Louisa.
She turned and he could see pain in her expression.
“Joe, I never meant for you to know,” she said softly. “And now that you do, it doesn’t change anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m going to make an appointment with a lawyer. I’ll have it all drawn up, nice and legal. Aaron and I expect nothing from you.”
“That doesn’t really answer my question, does it? How could you keep the fact that I had a son from me?”
“Joe, I was going to tell you, but then that announcement came. You’d just gotten engaged to Meghan.”
“I explained that.”
“You asked me for time…. I didn’t have time to give you.”
“You should have told me then.”
“And what? You’d have gone against your parents, risked the business merger, broken the engagement with Meghan?”
“It wasn’t real. Our parents felt the stockholders would be more comfortable merging the companies if they thought the families were merging through a marriage between us. But it wasn’t real. I told you that. You should have believed me.”
“I did. I believed you when you said repeatedly you didn’t want children. You had a life all planned out. I couldn’t take your dreams away from you.”
“You were my dream. You know that.”
“Joe, look at you, a doctor working in an E.R. You’ve done everything you wanted. You accomplished your dreams. I couldn’t take them away from you.”
“So you made the decision for me? You left, taking my son with you…a son I didn’t even know existed.”
Louisa might have learned to hide her emotions, but Joe couldn’t. He could hear the pain in his own voice, but it did little to reflect the depth of what he was feeling.
“Joe, my whys and the past aren’t worth talking about. We can’t change it. It’s over. I know you’re worried about what your wife will think, what your family will think. They never have to know. I’ll have the papers drawn up and send them to you stating we have no claim on you financially. Now, if you don’t mind, I have to work.”
She turned as if she was going to leave, but he grabbed her shoulder and spun her back around.
She’d shut him out by not telling him about his son, but
she would never shut him out like that again.
“I do mind,” he said. “We have to come to some sort of agreement here and now. The kind of agreement that doesn’t require a lawyer.”
He dropped his hand from her shoulder.
This time Louisa didn’t move.
“There’s nothing to agree on. Aaron’s my son.” Her voice was flat and her statement final. As if she expected him to shrug his shoulders and simply walk away from the knowledge that he had a son.
Maybe Louisa hadn’t known him any better than he’d known her.
“He’s my son, too,” he said softly.
“Only in the most biological sense. You’re nothing to him.”
It was a direct hit. Her remark cut at him, but rather than let her see how much, he simply said, “That’s about to change.”
Right now there wasn’t much Joe was sure of—his whole world had been tilted off its axis—but he was sure that there was no way he was losing another minute with his son.
He saw that statement register and heard a faint quaver in Louisa’s voice as she asked, “What do you mean by that?”
“I want to get to know my son.”
“I won’t have you coming in here, disrupting his life and then disappearing.”
“There won’t be any disappearing. I plan to stick around. I missed the first seven years of his life, I won’t miss another minute. You’re going to have to find a way to deal with the fact that I’m going to be a part of his life. You’re going to have to share him.”
“What do you propose? Joint custody? What will your wife say to that?”
“I never married her, Louisa,” he said softly.
He’d explained that it was just business, that he and Meghan were just friends and she’d said she understood, but obviously she hadn’t. Just like he still wasn’t sure he understood why she’d left.
She wasn’t telling him everything. Eventually he’d get the answers he wanted, but right now he was concentrating on getting his son.
“I told you then my parents set it up,” he continued. “I had to wait until after the merger to get out of it, but I did get out of it. I didn’t marry Meghan. I couldn’t, you see. I was in love with someone else, and back then I hadn’t given up hope she’d come back to me.”
