by Radclyffe
The corner of Tory’s mouth lifted into a weary smile. Another barrier that she had tightly constructed around her heart to bury the memory of what she had once felt for KT fell away. Surprisingly, the only thing she now felt was gratefulness that Pia had seen past KT’s façade. “Yes, I know.”
“This is all so terrible for her—the damage to her hand, the constant pain, and now this.” Pia’s eyes drifted back to the bedroom. “I just didn’t want to make it any worse.”
Tory realized with a sinking feeling that she had seen KT every day for weeks and hadn’t noticed what she had been going through. Hadn’t really allowed herself to see KT’s struggles or her pain. My God, I missed a drug addiction in my own colleague. A woman I once knew as well as I knew myself. Is that what my anger has done to me?
“You haven’t made anything worse. On the contrary.” Tory slid her arm around Pia’s shoulders and gave her a hug. “I think you being here is just what she needs.”
Pia blushed, suddenly aware that they were discussing Tory’s ex-lover. “I’ll wait until you get back. Then if you want to stay with her...”
“Actually, Reese is picking Regina up from Kate’s, so I’ve got a little time. I’ll get the things from the clinic, and then we can decide.” She tilted her head and regarded Pia seriously. “Do you need a break?”
“No. I just want to stay with her.” As it was, even being out of the room was making Pia uneasy. What she really wanted to do was climb back onto the bed and hold KT. She didn’t bother to analyze her feelings. She was too raw emotionally to even try. All she knew was what she felt, and what made her feel right was having KT in her arms.
“Then you should stay. You can always call me if there seems to be a problem. Once she’s hydrated and we counteract some of the adrenergic symptoms with the Catapres, she’ll be more comfortable.”
“I hope so. I can’t stand seeing her like this.”
Tory gave Pia’s hand another squeeze. “Go on back to her. I’ll run over to the clinic and get what we need to make her comfortable.”
*
“Thanks,” KT said quietly as Tory finished taping the intravenous line to her right arm. She looked down and lifted both hands an inch off the bed before letting them fall back. “Well, now I’m well and truly fucked.”
“As soon as a second bag goes in, Pia can put a cap on this IV line, and you’ll be able to use your arm a little bit more freely.” Tory began removing the detritus left on the bed from the containers that had housed the IV tubing, intravenous catheters, and the bag of normal saline. She stopped moving when KT caught her wrist.
“I guess you’re pretty angry, huh?” KT asked.
Tory finally looked up into KT’s anguished eyes. “Why in God’s name didn’t you come to me? Do you have any idea how bad this could’ve gotten, especially if Pia hadn’t come by today? What were you thinking?”
KT winced under the verbal onslaught. Despite the intravenous hydration and the sedative that Tory had given her, she hurt all over, her stomach threatened to revolt at any second, and her head reeled with dizziness. On top of that—worse than that, really—was the knowledge that both Tory and Pia had seen her so helpless and pathetic. She didn’t think things could get much worse. “I didn’t know. I should have, but I didn’t. I just...since the accident...I just wasn’t thinking.”
Carefully, Tory sat on the bed, her hip against KT’s. “I should’ve noticed.”
“It’s not like I’ve been walking around stoned, Tory,” KT pointed out wearily. “But the damn drug sneaks up on you. I definitely had a physical addiction, and I’m sure the psychological dependency wasn’t far off.” She leaned her head back against the pillows and sighed. “If I hadn’t almost OD’d after two drinks last night, I probably wouldn’t have figured it out until it was too late.”
“God,” Tory murmured, reaching out to stroke KT’s cheek. She stopped herself with a jolt just before her fingers made contact and quickly drew back. “I’m sorry. If I had been paying more attention, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Bullshit,” KT said with as much conviction as she could manage.
Tory smiled wanly. “I’ll stop by in the morning to see how you’re doing.”
“Make Pia go home.”
“When pigs fly.” Tory laughed. “I could barely get her to go home for something to eat and a shower. I don’t think she trusts me to look after you.”
KT smiled softly. “She was great today.”
“I’m glad she was here,” Tory said, surprised at just how much she meant that. It had shaken her badly to see KT so debilitated and frightened her even more than she wanted to admit to realize that KT might have succumbed to an overdose. She stood up and gathered her gear. “Pia should be back any minute. I’m going to head home.”
“You won’t tell anyone about this, will you, Tory?”
“God, of course not.” Tory looked shocked. “This isn’t your fault. And I know you well enough to know this isn’t going to be a long-term problem.”
“I should have seen it coming. And...it didn’t help to add alcohol on top of the meds.”
“No, it didn’t,” Tory agreed. She brushed her fingers over KT’s arm. “But you recognize that now, and you’re more than paying for that mistake. I trust you not to repeat it.”
“Thanks.” With a sigh, KT closed her eyes.
Tory made her way quietly through the house. When she stepped out on to the back deck, Pia was just climbing the stairs. “I think she just fell asleep.”
Pia leaned against the railing, a book under one arm. “Good. What should I do tonight?”
“If she wakes up before morning in pain or agitated, you can give her another dose of Catapres. Keep the IVs running at the present rate until the second bag is in. Hopefully in another eight hours she’ll be able to keep something down. If not, we’ll give her a third liter of saline. Can you handle that?”
“Yes. When I used to work at Boston Hospital, most of my patients were in the ICU or step-down units. Changing IV bags was something I did routinely in the physical therapy department.”
“Good. And don’t let her tell you that she doesn’t need the medication. She’s going to be very uncomfortable as it is. Without it, it’ll be hell.”
Pia’s hands tightened on the book she held. She hated the thought of KT suffering. “Don’t worry. I won’t let her pull that macho stuff.”
Tory laughed. “How is it that you’ve got her figured out so quickly?”
“I don’t know that I do, but it’s not very hard to tell how much she’s been hurting.” Pia looked at Tory kindly. “Inside and out.”
“What happened between KT and me is ancient history. I told you that when we first met.”
“Yes, I remember.” Pia smiled. “In fact, you told me that the first night we had dinner together. I didn’t believe you then.” She squeezed Tory’s arm affectionately. “I do believe you now.”
“It’s easier to give up the anger now. When I think of Reese, I can’t imagine being without her. Looking back, I’m beginning to think it might not have been all KT’s fault that we didn’t work out.”
“Does it matter who was at fault?” Pia asked gently.
“I don’t know.” Tory leaned her back against the building opposite Pia and shook her head. “I’m beginning to think it doesn’t. I look at her now and my memories seem to be from a different lifetime.”
“Maybe that just means that the past is finally becoming the past for you.”
“And what about you?”
“Me?”
“And KT?”
“Ah,” Pia said softly. “I...like her.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“What can I say that you don’t already know? She’s smart and funny and gorgeous. And so sexy it’s criminal.” Pia laughed. “What’s not to like?”
“Uh-oh. Sounds like more than like to me,” Tory teased gently, realizing that it didn’t bother her to think that Pia, whom she’d always had
a fondness for, was interested in KT. And seeing the way KT had looked at Pia that evening had made her forget why she’d been opposed to the idea when KT had first mentioned Pia’s name the day before.
“Well, until KT is back on her feet and we finish our therapy together, like is all it’s going to be.”
“Uh-huh.” Tory saw no point in reminding Pia that KT O’Bannon was not the kind of woman who sat back and waited for much of anything, especially a woman in whom she had an interest. And if the looks that had passed between Pia and KT throughout the evening were not an indication of strong mutual attraction, Tory couldn’t imagine what was. The two of them were deep in denial, but she didn’t think that would last much longer. “I’m going to go home to my own gorgeous, sexy woman. Call me if there’s any problem at all. Any time.”
“Thanks, Tory. I will.” Pia waved good night and let herself into the condo. It was after 11 p.m., but she wasn’t tired. The anxiety and worry of the long day had hyped her up to the point where she wasn’t sure she would be able to sleep at all. When she reached the bedroom, she stepped quietly to the chair that she’d drawn up to the bedside earlier.
“Tory leave?” KT asked drowsily.
“Yes. How are you doing?”
“Better. You?”
“Fine.” Pia lifted the book. “If you don’t mind the light, I thought I’d just sit here and read for a while.”
“You don’t need to stay. Go home and get some sleep.”
“We’ve had this conversation before.”
KT sighed. “And Tory called me frigging stubborn.”
Pia laughed quietly. “Comparatively speaking, I think I just qualify as plain stubborn.”
“You and Tory are pretty good friends, huh?”
“Yes, we are.” Pia settled into the chair and inched it forward until she could see KT’s face as they talked. Unconsciously, she reached out and stroked KT’s hair. “You really should sleep.”
“Did the two of you used to...date?”
“Very briefly, a long time ago.” Pia rested her hand on KT’s shoulder, rubbing her fingers lightly over KT’s skin. “How did you know that?”
“Something about the way Tory yelled at you. There was a certain degree of familiarity to it.”
Pia laughed. “Very observant.”
“So what happened?”
“Tory was still in love with someone else.” She spoke gently, her fingers drifting to KT’s jaw.
“Did she break your heart?”
“No,” Pia said with conviction. “No one broke my heart.”
“So why—”
“You’re supposed to be sleeping.”
“Just tell me what you’re waiting for.”
Pia sighed, and had she not been so exhausted from the day, she might not have answered. But KT’s skin was so soft beneath her fingers and her face so unguarded that Pia forgot her usual caution. “I want the woman I’ll spend the rest of my life with to be the only one.”
“Forever,” KT said drowsily.
“Yes.”
“I screwed up pretty badly back then,” KT murmured.
“That’s between you and Tory.”
KT turned her face until her cheek rested against Pia’s palm. The cool strength of Pia’s fingers gave her comfort. “Do you think I’m a lost cause?”
“No,” Pia whispered. I think you’re beautiful, in every way. “Go to sleep now, honey.”
Nearly asleep, KT asked what she never would have let herself ask had she been fully in control. “Would you hold me again like you did this afternoon?”
Pia didn’t stop to think what it might mean—that KT asked, or that she couldn’t for one second imagine saying no. She set her book aside and eased onto the bed. In a motion that felt as natural to her as breathing, she settled KT’s head against her breast.
Chapter Twenty
“Why don’t you go check on her?” Reese said quietly as she drew the soft strands of Tory’s hair through her fingers. It was just after 5 a.m., and the room had begun to lighten as the sun rose over the harbor. She knew Tory was awake, even though she hadn’t moved her head from Reese’s shoulder where she’d fallen asleep the night before. There was a stillness in her body that wasn’t there when she slept and a tightness in her muscles that belied her restful pose.
“Have you always been able to read my mind?” Tory touched a kiss to Reese’s shoulder while tightening her hold around Reese’s waist.
“Not at the very beginning.” Reese moved her hand from Tory’s hair to the center of her back and massaged her gently, the movement pressing Tory’s bare breasts to Reese’s chest. “I didn’t realize for the longest time that you lusted after me.”
Tory laughed. “I should think it would have been obvious to you when I couldn’t keep my hands off you, even when you’d been shot.” Recalling that night, and her terror, she tensed.
“Freak accident,” Reese murmured, turning until Tory lay beneath her. She braced herself on her elbows and framed Tory’s face in her hands. Then she kissed her forehead. “If you’re worried about KT, you should go see her.”
“Pia is with her. She would have called me if there was a problem.”
Reese nodded. “I know. But you’re still worrying.”
Tory smiled softly and opened her legs so that Reese could settle more comfortably between them. She loved being able to hold her while they talked, about anything, it seemed. Reese made it possible to discuss the really hard things because she never allowed distance to come between them, no matter what had transpired. Tory counted on that, in the moments when she was most uncertain. She caught the thick hair at the base of Reese’s neck and tugged Reese’s head down until their mouths met. She took her time with the kiss, because it was the first of the day and it might be hours before they could share a moment as private and wholly theirs as this one. The baby would awaken soon, needing to be fed and readied for her day at Kate and Jean’s, Reese would leave for the early-morning class at the dojo, and she would head for the clinic after dropping Regina off. None of those thoughts was foremost in her mind, only the distant sense of urgency to connect, to renew herself through the love that sustained her. She didn’t notice when her grip on Reese tightened, or when she hooked her heels over Reese’s tight thighs and arched her pelvis into her lover. She wasn’t aware of her heart beating wildly or the soft undulations of her hips or the sudden tension in Reese’s body. As she stroked her tongue over Reese’s, she savored the warmth that began in her heart and settled deep in the core of her, transforming with each second from the quiet comfort of belonging to the sharp edge of pleasure. When she felt the first hint of the pressure coalescing between her thighs, she drew her head away with a gasp. “Oh my.”
Breathing fast, her eyes the navy blue of the sunset over the dunes, Reese grinned. “Yeah. Oh my.”
“Do we have time?”
Reese shifted enough to allow a hand between their bodies and smoothed her fingers between Tory’s legs, coating her fingers with the evidence of Tory’s desire. When Tory arched her back with another sharp gasp, Reese groaned quietly. “Plenty of time.”
“And it’s about time.” Tory moaned as she caught Reese’s hand and pressed Reese’s fingers inside.
“Tor?” Reese said anxiously.
Already contracting around Reese’s fingers, eyes nearly closed, Tory shook her head restlessly. “Eight weeks, sweetheart. Eight weeks and I’ve missed you so much.”
Reese could feel Tory’s orgasm gathering and couldn’t have abandoned her then for any reason. She rested her forehead against Tory’s shoulder and carefully moved within her, following the demanding thrust of her lover’s hips with gentle replies of her own. “I love you.”
“So good,” Tory whispered, digging her fingers into Reese’s strong back. “So good, so good.”
Reese closed her legs tightly around Tory’s as she stroked Tory to climax, feeling her own release build swiftly through her trembling limbs. When Tory threw her
head back and convulsed around Reese’s fingers, Reese exploded. She cried out once before burying her face in Tory’s neck, coming hard and deep.
“Oh my,” Tory sighed after a moment.
“Uh-huh.”
“I think that was a record.”
Reese laughed, then shifted some of her weight off her lover and rolled onto her side. Gently, she eased her fingers out but kept her hand cupped lightly between Tory’s thighs. “You’re wonderful.”
Tory leaned her forehead against Reese’s, tracing her fingers along Reese’s jaw. “I realized something last night. Something that should have occurred to me a long time ago.”
“What?”
“That you’re the person that I belong with. Just you. Always you—yesterday, today, and tomorrow.”
“Tory,” Reese murmured reverently. She drew Tory close, fitting their bodies together until nothing separated them. “I’ll do everything I can to always be here for you.”
“I know.”
“About what my father said the other day—”
“No.” Tory put her fingers gently to Reese’s mouth. “I don’t want to talk about that right now.”
“All right.” Reese kissed Tory’s fingers. “What about KT? Is she going to be all right?”
“It depends on what you mean.” Tory sighed. “I don’t think she’s going to have a long-term problem with substance abuse, but she’s so...” She struggled to express what she hadn’t wanted to admit but what had been so clear to her the night before. “God, she is so lonely.”
“I was lonely too, before I met you.” Reese rocked Tory unconsciously. “It took meeting you for me to know that. Maybe it works that way for some people.”
“Oh, baby,” Tory said gently. “Sometimes, you break my heart.”
Reese frowned. “Why?”
“Because I worry that I won’t be able to love you well enough.”
“Oh yeah,” Reese responded with a laugh. “That was pretty obvious a few minutes ago.”
Tory slapped her lightly on the shoulder. “I wasn’t talking about that.”
“The only reason it happens the way it does—the reason that I can’t hold back when we make love, is because you love me just the way I need to be loved.” She kissed Tory softly. “Don’t ever doubt it.”
