by Radclyffe
The faint sound of fretful, waking noises came to them through the baby monitor next to the bed. Both turned instinctively toward the sound.
“Guess the other reason I’m so happy just woke up.” Reese kissed the tip of Tory’s nose and drew away. “I’ll get her and bring her in here for breakfast.”
Tory caught Reese’s hand before she could get out of bed. “Thanks for being so good about KT. A lot of women wouldn’t understand.”
“If I thought she could or would hurt you, I’d feel differently.”
There was an unwavering edge in Reese’s voice that made Tory realize that for all of Reese’s gentleness, she would fight for anything that threatened what was hers—Tory, Regina, and, Tory knew in her heart, her country.
“Go get the baby, sweetheart,” Tory whispered, refusing to think about what that might mean for their future.
*
KT opened her eyes to the absence of pain for the first time in over thirty-six hours. She lay still, aware of Pia’s arms around her and Pia’s shoulder cushioning her head. She hadn’t awakened with a woman in months, and none in her memory other than Tory whom she’d wanted to remain next to after their few hours of mutual release. Pia’s chest rose and fell with comforting regularity beneath her cheek, and the curve of Pia’s breast pillowed her face. She never wanted to move.
“Pia,” KT finally whispered.
“Mmm?” Pia stretched and sighed. As she came more fully awake, all of the events of the long night came back to her. The middle-of-the-night shower after KT shivered and sweated and soaked the bed linens as well as the two of them. The retching that finally ended in dry heaves. The apologies that KT had managed to make despite being barely able to stand. Reflexively, Pia tightened her hold and drew KT closer in an unconscious attempt to protect her. “How are you feeling?”
“Okay. You?”
“Stiff,” Pia admitted, moving carefully, not wanting to disturb the woman in her arms. In my arms. God, how did this happen? Twenty-four hours ago I woke angry with her for sleeping with another woman. She was suddenly flooded with an even more irrational surge of anger. “How could she have left you in that condition?”
“Who?” KT rested her palm on Pia’s abdomen, over the thin white tank top Pia wore. She noticed that Pia’s legs were bare beyond her pale blue bikinis and that she herself wore nothing at all. Holy Christ, we’re practically naked in bed together. Despite her abysmal discomfort, she felt a twinge of desire.
“The woman you were with the other night. How could she have just left when you were so sick?”
KT struggled to follow the question. “Woman? What woman?”
“The woman you brought home—the night before last,” Pia said quietly. “I saw you with her.”
“Oh, man. I remember. She walked me home and came up here, and—”
“I don’t want to hear the details.”
Frowning at the clipped tone of Pia’s voice, KT tried to raise her head to see Pia’s face, but the sudden movement made her stomach lurch dangerously. She rested her cheek against Pia’s breast again. “I sent her away.”
“What?”
“I said thanks and sent her on her way. I didn’t sleep with her.”
“You don’t have to expla—”
“Pia,” KT said gently, “I didn’t want to sleep with her. Even if I’d been able to, I wouldn’t have wanted to. I’ve been trying to tell you it’s you I wa—”
“Hush,” Pia said, stroking KT’s cheek. “Not now.”
“God, you have wonderful hands,” KT sighed. “Why not talk about it now? You said there isn’t anyone else, and you know there’s something between us. I just have to look at you and I get—”
“KT,” Pia interrupted, “I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“Not talking about sex.” KT’s head throbbed just enough to make her brain a little slow. “Well, not just sex. I want to go out with you—date, you know.” She frowned, snippets of the previous evening’s conversation coming back to her. I want the woman I’ll spend my life with to be the only one. The only one. Forever. “Holy Christ.” KT finally managed to sit up enough to look into Pia’s face. “You were telling me you aren’t sleeping with anyone until what—you get married?”
Pia held KT’s gaze. “Yes.”
“And you’ve never—?”
“Don’t sound so surprised.”
“Does Tory know?”
“Why?” Pia asked, confused.
“Because she was so sure you weren’t my type.”
Pia flushed. “Oh really?”
“It wasn’t a comment about you,” KT said gently. “It was a criticism of me. I’m not—worthy, in her eyes. Not of that kind of trust.”
“She didn’t tell you—”
“Hell, no. Tory is the soul of discretion.” KT laughed, and even though her throat was so parched she could barely swallow, it felt good. Good to feel something besides pain. “She just intimated that you were too good for me.”
Pia smiled and threaded her fingers into KT’s hair before gently pulling KT’s head back down to her chest. “Being a virgin doesn’t make me a saint.”
“It makes you some kind of miracle.” KT sighed. Rather than being challenged by the prospect of a new conquest, she felt oddly intimidated. “You weren’t kidding about forever, were you?”
“I don’t kid about the things that matter to me,” Pia murmured, her voice low and husky. As they’d talked, she’d slowly become aware of KT’s bare leg against hers, of the heat of her body, of the press of KT’s hand to her abdomen. Her stomach tightened beneath KT’s fingers, which lightly stroked up and down and around her navel. Everything about lying next to KT felt good, and talking about sex made her acutely conscious of the fact that she was practically naked with a gorgeous woman who was naked and who, sick or not, made her heart race. She flashed on the memory of KT standing nude beneath the shower spray in the middle of the night, water sluicing over her breasts and belly, the dark triangle between her thighs standing out in stark contrast to her smooth, pale skin. She’d been too worried about KT’s health then to do more than register in an abstract way how beautiful she was. Now, with that soft skin against hers and a firm breast molded to her side, she couldn’t think of anything else. Except the tingling in the pit of her stomach and the unmistakable pressure between her thighs. When KT’s fingers drifted to the bottom of her tank top and onto her bare abdomen, Pia’s legs trembled and wetness slicked her center. She tried to dampen her desire, reminding herself that KT was ill, that they hardly knew one another, and that KT was a woman who was easy about sex. All you had to do was look at her to know that sex was as natural to her as breathing.
And Pia wasn’t. Breathing. Her heart threatened to pound out of her chest.
Looking down, she watched KT’s fingers stroke the strip of skin just above her bikinis. She should have left her jeans on, but they were soaked from helping KT get in and out of the shower, and who would have thought...KT traced a fingertip beneath the waistband of Pia’s panties and her hips lifted involuntarily. Pia’s fingers tightened in KT’s hair.
Oh my God. If she touches me, I’ll die. If she doesn’t—
“Pia,” KT said softly.
“Mmm?”
“Can you tell how much I want to make love to you?”
“KT,” Pia whispered, her voice tinged with regret and longing.
“I’ve wanted to since that first night we had dinner. Every day, seeing you, feeling your hands—so gentle, so sure—”
“Oh,” Pia caught her bottom lip in her teeth, holding back a moan. Her nipples hardened painfully, and all she could think was that she wanted KT’s mouth on them. When KT shifted and pressed her pelvis against Pia’s hip, Pia thought she might whimper with the need that rode roughly over her defenses. KT’s body was hot; hers was nearly in flames. She couldn’t think now why it mattered to wait for anything, not when just being next to KT made her melt. “KT...oh, I—”
; KT rubbed her cheek over the prominence of Pia’s nipple, loving the soft moan Pia made in response. “I want to feel you move under me. I want to brush my lips over your breasts and lick my way down your belly and taste you. Jesus, I want my mouth on you.”
Pia’s fingers fisted convulsively in KT’s hair; her breath tore from her chest; her clitoris pulsed with each beat of her heart, aching and so, so ready. She turned, wanting KT’s body against hers everywhere, shivering when she felt KT’s skin meet hers along her legs and abdomen.
“How can I be so aroused when you haven’t touched me?” she whispered.
“Because,” KT drew her fingertip over Pia’s lips, swollen with desire even in the absence of kisses, “I’m about to explode from wanting you, and it’s catching.” She touched her lips gently to Pia’s mouth, closing her eyes at the incredible softness. She trembled and drew away. “Get up, Pia.”
Pia’s eyes were dazed, her mind clouded with pleasure. “What?”
“Get out of bed, baby,” KT murmured against Pia’s throat. “I can’t move very well right now, but I can touch you, and I will in just another second—so you have to get up.”
“I want...oh, I want you to touch me. Put your fingers on me.” Pia’s voice was a plea.
“No.” KT couldn’t help herself. She closed her lips over the taut nipple tenting the thin cotton. She groaned, desperate to slide her fingers beneath the silk and into Pia’s heat. When she heard Pia’s cry of pleasure, she pushed herself onto her back, panting. “No, you don’t. Pia, this isn’t the time.”
“Are you crazy?” Pia gasped in disbelief.
“Yes.” KT gritted her teeth and ignored the painful pressure in her depths. “Fuck.”
Pia fell onto her back and stared at the ceiling, every breath an effort. “No, you’re not crazy. I am. You can’t even stand up, and I’m trying to have sex with you.”
KT laughed shakily. “I can do it pretty well lying down, too.”
Pia turned her head, her face flushed. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, man. So am I.” KT met Pia’s eyes. “Don’t be sorry for wanting me to touch you, okay? Please?”
Pia cupped her fingers under KT’s jaw and ran her thumb over KT’s chin. “Let’s neither of us apologize, okay? It’s been a crazy few days.”
“Okay,” KT replied, aching in every cell to caress her again. “I’m going to want another chance, though.”
With a shake of her head, Pia rolled away and feigned a control she didn’t feel. “Let’s get you back on your feet first.”
“I’m gonna need one more day for that,” KT said wearily.
“I know.” Pia stood, aware of the lingering stir of arousal, and averted her eyes from the line of KT’s hips and thighs beneath the sheets. With effort, she banished the image of KT on top of her, between her legs, so gentle and fierce. “I...I’m going to rearrange my patient schedule today so I can stay.”
“Pia—” KT protested.
“No,” Pia said definitively. “I’m not leaving you.”
KT watched her cross the room and disappear down the hall, replaying those words and wondering why they both terrified and thrilled her.
Chapter Twenty-One
“You could’ve taken a few more days off,” Tory said quietly when she came upon KT leaning back in her office chair, eyes nearly closed.
“Nah.” KT smiled wanly as she straightened up. “I can feel crappy at work as well as I can sitting in my condo. My brain is working all right. It’s just going to take another week or so for my body to catch up.”
“You could have done half-shifts.”
“I’m okay.” KT held up her left arm. The awkward, heavy splint was gone, and in its place was an elastic wrist wrap with thin, flexible bands attached to each injured finger, holding them in a safe, flexed position. “Look—Pia finally let me go to a wristlet. I’ve been to therapy every day except for those few days I was...indisposed last week.”
In truth, KT had insisted on returning to therapy even when Pia had wanted her to wait a few more days. Despite some muscle cramping and a persistent headache, she needed the return to routine. She needed to feel in control again, and most importantly, she needed to get her relationship with Pia back onto familiar ground. Even though Pia had stayed with her most of the day after they had awakened in one another’s arms, she had been distant and cautious, and KT had found the distance maddening. They’d gone from a degree of intimacy, both physical and emotional, that KT hadn’t experienced in years to careful formality in a matter of minutes, and she was left with an empty feeling that it seemed only Pia could fill. At least during therapy, Pia was relaxed and easy with her. They’d resumed their casual conversations as well as their frequent debates about the speed and direction of KT’s therapy, verbally sparring over how much KT could do and how quickly. KT found that she enjoyed the power that Pia wielded with surprising gentleness. In fact, there was nothing about Pia that she didn’t enjoy.
“Indisposed,” Tory said dryly. She noted that KT’s eyes were clear despite the fact that she looked exhausted still. “How are you handling the pain?”
KT blinked, and a muscle jumped on the edge of her jaw. “Not with narcotics, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Tory kept her voice even. “What I’m asking is if you’re doing all right without them.”
“Sorry,” KT said quietly. “It was rough for the first week or so. Besides feeling like I was going to puke any second, my hand felt like it was going to fall off. I’ve started to take Tegretol and that, along with the Naprosyn, is keeping things to a tolerable level.”
“Good. Are you staying well hydrated, because you look a little shaky. That’s easy to fix, you know.”
“Don’t even think about coming near me with an intravenous needle. That lasted about seven hours the last time, and when I managed to dislodge it in the shower by accident, I thought Pia was going to kill me.”
“Really?” Tory raised an inquisitive eyebrow and was astounded to see KT blush. “Well, well.”
“It’s not like that, Tory.” KT sounded defensive even to herself and laughed softly. “I can’t believe I’m explaining that I’m not sleeping with someone.”
Tory checked her watch, saw that she had at least five minutes before the next patient, and settled into the chair across from KT. “It sounds to me as if you’re defending her honor.”
“Pia’s honor doesn’t need defending.”
“You sound like that matters to you,” Tory remarked neutrally. It was an odd experience discussing an intimate relationship with a woman with whom she had once been intimate herself. To her amazement, she felt no animosity, jealousy, or even criticism, probably because she had never heard KT sound the way she did now—at once protective and perplexed. “She really has you confused, doesn’t she?”
“She’s got me pretty much in a tailspin, yeah,” KT admitted ruefully. She regarded Tory cautiously. “You’re not mad?”
“About what?”
“About me being...interested...in Pia.”
Tory sighed. “Pia is an adult. So are you.”
“That’s not what I asked you.”
“God, you are relentless.”
“You’ve forgotten?”
Tory laughed quietly. “There were a lot of things about you I had forgotten. A lot of things that I liked.” She regarded KT steadily. “A number of things that I loved.”
Caught off guard, KT jerked. “Christ, Tory, I made a mess of things back then. I’m sorry.”
“So am I. And it wasn’t all your fault.” Tory smiled, feeling a hard, cold place inside of her break apart and drift away. “And you know what? I’m tired of talking about it. It was a long time ago, and we’re both different people now.”
KT sat forward, resting her good arm on the desktop. “You mean that?”
“I do.”
“Thank you.”
Tory nodded, wondering if it wouldn’t be possible for them to someday be friends. She was
n’t ready to declare that immediately, but as each day passed, she grew more comfortable with the woman KT had become in the years during their separation. “So, about Pia.”
“I don’t want to talk about Pia,” KT replied evenly. “She wouldn’t like it.”
“Well. That says a lot all by itself.”
KT looked confused. “It does?”
“Even when she’s not around, you’re thinking about what’s important to her.”
“Oh,” KT moaned quietly. “That sounds bad. Very bad.”
Amused, Tory said nothing. She had very rarely seen KT O’Bannon when she wasn’t completely on top of her game, any game. Oh, this is going to be fun to watch.
“Why are you smiling?” KT asked suspiciously.
“No reason,” Tory said lightly as she stood. “No reason at all.”
“A little advice wouldn’t hurt,” KT called after her.
“’Fraid not,” Tory called back. “Where’s the pleasure if you don’t suffer first?”
KT tilted back in her chair again and closed her eyes, thinking of Pia’s skin beneath her fingers and Pia’s sounds of pleasure when she’d touched her. She had no doubt of the exquisite pleasure making love with Pia would bring, nor did the throbbing in the pit of her stomach leave any doubt as to how much she was suffering right that minute. What she wasn’t certain about was whether she dared, or even had the right, to seduce Pia away from her dream of forever. Because forever was something that KT no longer believed in.
*
“And then I thought I’d sell the business, move to Trinidad, and find a tireless young lover.”
“That’s nice,” Pia said absently.
“Of course,” Pia’s mother mused as she nibbled on a corner of a sandwich, “I haven’t talked to your father about the idea yet.”
“Talk to Daddy about what?”
“About where you’ve been for the last ten minutes,” Elana noted conversationally.
