Without Hesitation

by Talia Jager

  I rolled my eyes. “I don’t have a throne.”

  “Too bad.”

  My eyes shot over to her at the deep tone in her voice. “Would seeing me sitting on a throne be a turn on for you?”

  She took a step closer. “I guess we’ll never know.”

  Just before our lips touched, Bristow walked in. “Oh, sorry.”

  Ever just smiled and said, “I’m going to check in with Briar. See if they want to come.”

  Bristow cornered me while Ever talked to Briar. “So…you two?”

  My cheeks warmed. “Yeah.”

  “Just one question, Kace.”

  “What?”

  “She worked for the enemy. I’ve seen her criminal log. Why her? What’s so awesome about her?”

  What could I say? How could I possibly explain everything she was to me? Everything she wasn’t? There were no words to make someone else understand. “Do you trust me, Bristow?”

  “Of course.”

  “Then trust me on this. Things aren’t always as they seem. Not everything is black and white. There is both good and evil in everyone.” I thought about killing Caspar and his man. “It’s a long story and I’ll tell you about it later, but right now, just trust me.”

  He squeezed my hand. “As long as you’re happy.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Good luck with Galton.”

  Ever and I waited with Galton and Bristow for Briar and Huxley to jump down.

  Briar’s face was lit up the moment their feet hit the ground. “It smells so lovely.”

  Huxley rolled his eyes. “I like the compound idea. Doesn’t look like much, but I bet it is inside.”

  “Galton, Bristow, this is Huxley and Briar,” I introduced.

  “Guys, this is Galton, my second in command right now, and Bristow, my best friend and family.”

  Galton stood there scowling, but Bristow extended his hand and I didn’t miss the way he held Briar’s longer, or the blush on his cheeks, or the way she smiled.

  “Don’t they have any manners?” Galton growled. “Bow before the Empress!”

  I didn’t have time to say anything before Huxley replied, “What?”

  “It is customary to bow before the leaders of a planet when you are on their planet. It shows you respect them and will obey their laws.” Galton’s eyes looked like they were going to bulge out of his head.

  I put up my hand to stop him from saying anything further. “Enough!”

  “Empress, this is not appropriate!”

  “I said enough.” My hands clenched and unclenched. “Galton, may I talk to you for a minute. And don’t mistake that for anything less than an order.”

  We stepped out of earshot.

  “I understand your anger toward them. I even get that you don’t trust them yet. But I do and I need you to trust me. If you can’t, you need to excuse yourself so that you’re not around my guests. You will treat them with respect. They do not need to bow. You know I have never been one for such formalities.”

  When I finished, Galton took a moment before responding, “I understand, Empress, and will obey your wishes to stay away. But I will be keeping an eye on them because I vowed to look after you.”

  “I do appreciate it, Galton.”

  Back with the crew of the Nirvana, I apologized, “I’m sorry for Galton’s behavior. He’s very protective and traditional. Where is Zabe?”

  “Someone had to stay with the ship,” Huxley answered.

  Bristow and I showed my new friends around Valinor until the sunstar went down. We visited the lake where Bristow and I skipped stones, the farmlands, the village, the schools, and around the compound.

  “There’s plenty of room here if you wanted to stay,” I heard myself saying. It wasn’t something I had planned. It just kind of came out.

  Briar was the first one to answer. “We have to find our families first. Only then can we think about where home is.”

  “I know. I just wanted to offer. I wanted you all to know you’re welcome here.”

  “It’s a great place, Akacia. Thank you for such an offer,” Huxley said with a warm smile.

  Ever had a different kind of look on her face. She was upset.

  “What?”

  “You’re forgetting an important detail,” she said.

  “Being?”

  “We’re wanted criminals. You would be charged with harboring fugitives.”

  “Oh. There is that,” Huxley commented.

  “Maybe the Authority would listen to reason. Since Caspar is dead, you won’t be doing these things anymore, right?” My gaze shifted to each of them.

  “Right,” Briar answered and I wondered why Ever hadn’t spoken up. “But I don’t think the Authority is going to pardon every crime we’ve ever committed.”

  She was probably dead-on, but I hated it. It wasn’t right. Caspar was finally out of the way and they still couldn’t live their lives. They’d always be on the run.

  A big feast had been prepared for my return and Ever, Briar, and Huxley stayed as my guests. Bristow sat across from Briar. I noticed them stealing glances at each other throughout the meal.

  “Not bad,” Huxley said with a smirk.

  “You could stay and teach them a thing or two,” I teased, but part of me wished he’d take me up on it.

  “It’ll give you a reason to come visit us.”

  “She’s definitely just going to visit for your eggs, Hux,” Briar joked.

  Ever was unusually quiet.

  “The eggs are absolutely a reason to visit,” I joked. Turning to Ever, I said, “Will you stay just tonight?”

  “Kaci, I—”

  “I know you have to get going, but it’s just the night. You can leave at first light. I just…please. I want one more night.”

  She reached out and touched my face. “Alright.” Facing Briar and Huxley, she told them to return to the ship and she’d be back in the morning.

  Briar hugged me first. “I’m sorry about the whole handing you over thing. I am glad to call you a friend.”

  “Me, too.” I squeezed her tight. “Tell Zabe I said goodbye.”

  “I will.”

  Huxley was next. “There will always be eggs for you.”

  Hugging him, I said, “There better be.” In his ear, I whispered, “Take care of her.”

  He pulled back and looked me right in the eyes. “I always do.”

  “Fare thee well,” I said, giving them Valinor’s goodbye saying.

  “Safe journey,” Briar and Huxley said back, then disappeared.

  Just as we turned to walk away, I heard, “Akacia!”

  “Zabe?” I spun back around.

  “Did you really think you’d get off without saying goodbye to me?”

  “So you do care?” I teased.

  Never one for many words, he wrapped his big arms around me and squeezed. And that told me everything I needed to know. He cared.

  After Zabe was gone, I took Ever by the hand and led her to my bedroom. Nero trailed behind. She looked around the room, studying everything from the books to the pictures of my parents to what was in my closet.

  I reached out and jerked her toward me, crushing my lips against hers. She whimpered against my mouth. I walked her backward until we fell onto my bed.

  The kisses were long and slow as if we had all the time in the world to do nothing but kiss. My hands cradled her face wanting to keep her as close to me as possible. We were panting when we broke the kiss, but instead of parting, we stared into each other’s eyes.

  I traced the curve of her neck with my lips. A pleasant sigh escaped between her parted lips. Pushing me onto my back, she dropped kisses on my abdomen and then swirled her tongue around my navel.

  Warmth started to spread in my stomach and
a tingling settled between my legs. I wanted her. I wanted to explore every inch of her body and have her know every part of mine. I wanted to know what would make her smile and which things would elicit a moan. My hands wandered to her hips, thumbs resting just above the waistband of her pants. She sucked in a shuddering breath.

  “Kaci…” she whispered. “I want nothing more than to make love to you, but I’m leaving tomorrow. I won’t do that to you.”

  “What if I want you to?”

  “I’ll still say no. You deserve better, Kaci. You’re special.”

  “Then don’t leave.” I knew she needed to go, but I had to say it.

  She closed her eyes and brought her lips back to mine for a hungrier, more desperate kiss. “I have to.”

  “I know.” I lifted my head so my lips could meet hers again. If she wouldn’t make love to me, I was going to take all the kisses I could. I wanted to remember how her lips felt on mine, how she tasted, how I could see the love in her eyes. “Take your pants off.”

  “Kaci—”

  “I just want you to lay with me and I want to feel your skin on mine. This is our last night together, I want to remember, Ever. Please.” A tear slipped out of the corner of my eye.

  She kissed it away. “Okay.”

  We lay facing each other in my bed, staring into each other’s eyes. Not needing words. Just being there. Together. Eventually, I rolled over and let her hold me.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Everleigh

  At first light, my eyes popped open. I breathed in Kaci’s scent while she was still in my arms. I didn’t want to wake her, but I had to go. It would be easier if I just slipped away, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay with her, be with her, love her forever. But I knew I had obligations to my crew, my people, and I couldn’t put her in danger. Not only from the Authority, but from me. I had changed her. She wasn’t a sweet, innocent girl anymore. I’d never forgive myself for that.

  “I love you,” I whispered, carefully getting up and taking one last look at her. Then I snuck out the door.

  I found Bristow and Galton in the command center. Galton glared, while Bristow smiled. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m leaving now. I know I don’t need to tell you this, but take care of her.”

  Galton’s face relaxed. “Of course.”

  “May I talk to you?” I asked Bristow.

  He nodded and followed me over to a corner of the room. “What’s up?”

  “I didn’t want to tell Galton this. He wouldn’t accept it. If she ever needs help or if Valinor ever needs anything, please contact me.”

  Bristow nodded. “You care for her.”

  “I do. Very much.” I turned to go, but then looked back. “She’s been having panic attacks. You have to get her to focus and breathe when she has them.”

  “Panic attacks?”

  “Since Caspar tortured her.”

  He nodded understanding. “Thank you for telling me.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Outside, I pulled out the jump device.

  “Wait!” I stopped hearing the lovely voice, but didn’t turn around.

  She came up behind me and wrapped me in her arms. Nestling her face in my neck, she kissed me. I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding. As if she could tell how I was feeling, she turned me around and we stared into each other’s eyes. All I saw was love. Even though I had hurt her, betrayed her, tried to make her hate me, and was now walking away from her, she still loved me.

  I opened my mouth to ask why, but she put her finger to my lips.

  “Shhh.”

  Our eyes locked. Her lips met mine like she was a force to be reckoned with. My own lips didn’t hold back and seconds later my arms held her close to me. The kiss wasn’t brief or gentle. It was messy and desperate. It was begging for more. It was longing and angst. Salt from our tears mixed in with her sweet honey taste. I was slightly dazed when we pulled apart.

  Holding her gaze, I cupped her cheek tenderly. I wanted to jump back to the Nirvana with her. Wanted to stay here. Wanted to be with her. She was it for me. She was my everything. My soul mate. The one true love of my life. I would never find someone like her again. I didn’t even want to try. If I couldn’t have her, I didn’t want anyone. I was hers. Forever.

  But forever would never be.

  Kaci wiped away a tear that fell down my cheek. “I told you this when you were unconscious, but I figured I should tell you when you can actually hear me. I wanted to hate you, but instead I fell in love with you.”

  “Kaci—”

  “You don’t have to say anything. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so I just wanted you to know.” She was blinking a lot, fighting back her own tears. “Will you come back?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You could.”

  “Being here would put you—all of you—in danger.”

  “We’ll figure it out.”

  “I can’t.”

  “You’d give all this up?” She pointed to the planet, knowing I would enjoy exploring the different parts of it.

  “You could come with me,” I said, unable to control myself. She’d still be in danger on my ship, but she’d be one of us.

  “I can’t.”

  “You’d give up all that?” I pointed to the stars.

  “I belong here.”

  “And I belong there. I have to look for my people. I have to find them.”

  “I know.” She wiped away a tear that managed to escape. “So that’s it? Our feelings don’t matter?”

  “We’re so different. It probably wouldn’t work anyway.” I swallowed hard.

  “Right. Then go without hesitation. Live your life to the fullest. Tomorrow is not promised. Safe journey.” She stepped back and her bottom lip trembled.

  I hated walking away from her. Hated it. But it was the right thing to do. I let her go with a whole lot of hesitation. “Fare thee well,” I said, reciting the Valinor goodbye.

  I claimed her lips one last time and then pushed the jump drive and was back on my ship. I didn’t see her sobbing as she crumpled to the ground and she didn’t see me do the same.

  The End

  Book Two Coming Soon

  Read on for a preview of

  Chapter One

  Kassia

  Jana stood in front of me, her hands waving frantically in my face. My gift had taken over, and I could no longer hear her screaming. Jana had never liked me and she tried everything to piss me off. She wasn’t even a student at our school, but she had dated a few of the boys here. Although she was one of the increasing number of normal humans aware of us, she had no idea what my gift was, and that I could easily drop her to her knees in pain.

  I narrowed my eyes and focused on her. She suddenly stopped yelling at me and began to rub her temples. I could feel my temperature rise as the anger continued to build in me. A small smile flickered across my face as I felt her pain building.

  “Stop!” Mira yelled and jumped in between Jana and me. “She’s not worth it! Don’t let her push your buttons!”

  I mashed my lips. Pity that my best friend was immune to my gift. Nobody knew why this was. It wasn’t her only talent; she was also a compeller. She could tell someone what to do and that person would do it. There had been many times I wished I could have had her gift instead of mine. All I had to do was wish someone to be in pain and within a minute, they were.

  When I saw the concern in Mira’s eyes, I let up. She let out a sigh of relief and turned to Jana. “Go home, Jana. You were never here.”

  Jana turned and slowly began to pace away in a daze with a confused look on her face.

  “Sorry,” I muttered, ashamed that I let my gift get the best of me again.

  “You know how annoying this is getting? You need better
self-control.”

  “You sound like my counselor.”

  “Maybe I should be.”

  I felt like smacking her, but she’d just smack me back, and she hit harder than I did.

  We got in the car and took the two-lane road back to campus, which was nestled in the mountains in northern California. I glanced out the window at the towering trees on both sides of us. The moon had just peeked over the tops of the trees, lighting the way home.

  After twenty minutes, the trees thinned out and before us stood Glendale Institute, one of two “gifted” schools in the country. Glendale was made up of a cluster of buildings enclosed by lush forests.

  We parked in the parking lot and hiked up toward the courtyard. Directly across from the parking lot was a training field. As we entered the courtyard, there were dorms on our left and right, one for girls, one for boys. Straight ahead were the faculty quarters, dining hall, and learning center.

  Each L-shaped dorm had two wings. The longer side housed the high school–aged students, and the shorter side was for the middle school students. When we walked into the room we shared, Mira told me, “Go to bed.”

  “You don’t need to mother me.”

  “Well, someone does and since nobody else is stepping up to the plate, I kind of have to.”

  “What’s your deal?”

  Her eyes narrowed. “I happened to be with someone when you went all mental.”

  Oh. That’s what this was about. “You met a guy?”

  “Yeah, a cute one, and you had to go and ruin it.” She sighed. “I rushed out of there so fast when Noe called I didn’t get his number.”

  Guilt washed over me. “I’m sorry, Mira.”

  Her face relaxed a little. “I know.”

  “I didn’t mean to get so mad. She just…infuriates me.” I got angry just thinking about the little tramp.

  “You have to learn how to ignore some things.”

  I stuck out my tongue. “Pbbbbbt.”

  “Do you know what could happen if you actually hurt someone?” she asked, raising her voice.

  I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. “I’d feel good?”

  “No, Kassia. You’d get in trouble. They’d punish you. And then they’d punish me for not stopping you.”