Crown of Beauty
Page 13
Will’s focus sharpened. Only moments ago the older man had been chattering about sweetness from the kitchen, and now he was serious, concern for his son’s behavior paramount.
“You’ve had your share of troubles over the past few months, but you’ve also been teaching us so much about God’s love, about patience, acceptance, all of which had been words we heard in church but did not hold ourselves to in daily practice. You’ve shown us how to do so, which is why I don’t understand why you seem so hostile towards this young man, who has lost so much. Is there something you aren’t telling me?”
Will sucked in a breath as Arthur turned his gaze to his, and the two of them stared at each other for a few moments before Arthur looked away, and Will could see the conflict in his eyes.
“Catherine will need someone to accompany her to the hospital, as Grace is caring for a sick relative. Do you think Sarah would be willing to spend the afternoon with her?”
If Will had dodged a direct question from his father, or his uncle for that matter, in such a way, it would not go unnoticed, but Davenport let it go, perhaps because he could see the weariness in his son’s expression.
“We will speak soon.”
The older man dismissed Will with those four words, and beckoned to Arthur, who followed him to the door. The two spoke briefly, and Will could see the surprise on Arthur’s face as his father pulled him close for a quick hug before stepping outside. Arthur turned back and looked towards the kitchen, waiting for Anthony and Joe to emerge, and Will backed up as far as he could, determined to wait until Arthur and Catherine left before making his way to the Van Alden estate. No matter what, he had to find a way not only to explain all of this to Catherine but to tell her everything. From his decision to lie about his identity, to every failure to admit it since then, and finally, to his feelings for her. That might prove the most difficult, since he’d never felt this way about anyone before, and he couldn’t imagine feeling it about anyone else. He had been introduced to so many pretty girls over the past few years, but Catherine Davenport was beautiful beyond the pale pink flush in her cheeks, the misty gray blue of her eyes, beautiful beyond the sweetness of her smile. The timing of his arrival and the behavior that had led to it, as well as her first days working at the shelter, could not have been a coincidence, and he wanted more than anything to believe that they were meant to be together, but that could only happen if he was honest and she, as well as her family, could forgive him. It was a lot to pray for, so he closed his eyes and began to do just that.
Chapter Nineteen
“It was fun at first, but after awhile, you must admit it becomes pretty boring.”
Sarah hadn’t been averse to accompanying Catherine to the hospital, and Catherine’s idea to ask her herself rather than for their father to demand it worked, just as Catherine suspected it would. Her sister was up for trying just about anything, as long as it wasn’t a mandate from their parents, but Catherine was becoming tired of being the one to come up with ways to entertain her and work around Sarah’s refusal to behave responsibly. There was just too much that she was dealing with, and it seemed to all center on Will. Arthur and her father wouldn’t explain anything to her, which didn’t make her feel any better about it, or him, but privately, Arthur reiterated his insistence that she and Will stay away from each other.
“And if we happen to be at First Steps at the same time?” she had dared to ask. He had shaken his head, frowning.
“No. Just no, Cat. Please try to understand that I don’t want you to get hurt. I should tell Father, but I won’t. I think you are old enough to decide for yourself, and if, in time, Will is more forthcoming about his past . . .”
He shook his head again. This was very bad timing, she knew, with Josie’s illness, Arthur’s continued work and time spent back here at home then returning to Josie at her mother’s every evening, spending the nights with her. Was that awkward for him, to be at his mother-in-law’s rather than his own home, and to know that whatever he did to help, it wasn’t enough to keep his wife well?
“I’m sorry for all this trouble. I certainly don’t want to make more difficulties for you, especially now. Or anytime. I don’t want to be a burden.”
Arthur’s smile was small but true as he reached out and took one of her hands in his own. They were speaking quietly in the hall outside of her bedroom, as he had stopped by to gather a few things from his and Josie’s room. They both knew that voices carried in the high ceiling of the wing, so their words were barely above a whisper.
“You have been nothing but a great help to me and to those at the shelter, and I don’t want anyone to take advantage of your innocence and good nature, regardless of his family’s stature.”
What did that mean? Who was Will, and why wouldn’t Arthur tell her?
She nodded and looked down, afraid that he would see the questions in her eyes. He leaned in to kiss her forehead before letting go of her hand and turned to walk away, but she found a measure of satisfaction knowing that he was headed to the woman who was his true home.
“Another party! If I had known that there were going to be such grand parties, including our own, I wouldn’t have been so upset at being stuck here all winter!”
Catherine pulled the blankets over her head and wondered what time it was.
What time was it?
She was supposed to be going to First Steps, but she could see sunlight creeping through the small slit in her drapery and immediately worried that she was late. Whatever was Sarah carrying on about now, and where was Annie?
“How can you sleep when it’s so exciting? Mother says that a lot of people will be coming in from the City, so we’ll see our friends, and dance, and laugh, and . . .”
Catherine thought she stifled her groan but apparently she hadn’t.
“What are you moaning about? Now you can stay home with me and get ready. We’ll need new dresses, of course, and Becky and Annie will have to try some new styles for our hair. I can’t even imagine what the girls are wearing now, it seems like it’s been so long since we’ve seen anyone worth knowing . . .”
“Speak for yourself. And even then, speak carefully.”
Catherine pushed the blanket away and saw the shock on her sister’s face. She waited for a response, but Sarah just stared at her, blinking in surprise.
“I’ve spent quite a bit of time with many people worth knowing, and if you take a moment to think before you open your mouth, you will realize that you have as well. I am certain that you don’t mean to imply that the unfortunate residents of Friendship Hospital are beneath your notice, do you?”
She sat up and pulled her legs and feet over the side of the bed, standing in front of her much shorter and absolutely stunned sister.
“And in the future I would appreciate it if you would knock and ask for permission to enter before barging into my room. I think I’m entitled to a bit of privacy now and again.”
Annie and Becky were standing at the door, all ears and as motionless as Becky’s charge. When Sarah backed away, her mouth falling open into a small O, Becky was there, and while she was no older than her mistress, she knew how to take Sarah gently by the arm and guide her from the room. Catherine saw Becky and Annie exchange a tiny smile of commiseration, and Catherine immediately worried that she had been too harsh with Sarah, just as Arthur had been hard on her recently.
As soon as the door closed behind the two girls, Annie rushed up to Catherine, her hands balled up into fists at her sides.
“I don’t want to speak out of turn, Miss Catherine, but Becky is so worried about Miss Sarah, with her moods and ideas about sneaking around for fun. It isn’t fun, if you ask me, but I’m sure you don’t.”
“Oh, Annie, I do appreciate your concern, and Becky’s, but I don’t know what you mean by sneaking around. What is Sarah up to now?”
While Catherine was relieved to have something to deal with besides her own feelings for Will and her lack of control over what the fut
ure held for the two of them, she wasn’t comforted by Annie’s revelation, and even less as her maid explained what her sister had been doing as the rest of the house slept.
Will had no idea how to begin to explain his situation to the Van Aldens. Mrs. Van Alden was in the throes of party preparation, and while she was not a young miss with all the excitement of youth when it came to social occasions, her excitement was still palpable.
“It’s been some time since we’ve had a reason to celebrate anything, and with so many families away for the winter, it is a good opportunity to bring everyone together. We’re so pleased to have you with us, and your talents are so perfectly in line with Mr. Van Alden’s, that it must be more than a coincidence. God’s hand is in this, this much is clear.”
Will wanted to crawl under the sofa, or at the very least, make himself small enough to do so. He felt that small, at any rate, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak negatively to this kind and generous woman. He would have to tell her, though, and her husband. He would have to tell them everything.
The Davenports, both Arthurs, had kept Will’s location to themselves as far as he knew, even as the father knew that Will’s uncle, a business acquaintance, had been searching for him. This in and of itself was a revelation to Will. He hadn’t expected his uncle to be anything but pleased to be rid of him and the trouble he had continued to cause. Knowing that his father’s brother was worried, spending his time and efforts and most likely money trying to find him filled him with conflicting emotions, with a sense of satisfaction at realizing that he was loved, and guilt added to that which he already carried on his shoulders and in his heart every moment. Why had it seemed like such a good idea, when he woke to see himself in the midst of people who didn’t know him, who had no expectations, no awareness of his past failures, to pretend to be a blank slate, willing to be whatever and whoever they wanted him to be?
“Yes, ma’am, I believe you’re right. Is there anything I can do to help with the event, or perhaps I should just stay out of the way?”
He hoped his smile seemed real, that it was believable in spite of the ache he felt deep inside. The Van Aldens would be disappointed in him, but he was used to disappointing everyone who expected him to be better than he truly was. He didn’t look forward to their expressions, the way they would most likely shake their heads and sigh, sorry they had wasted their time and hope on him. His father, and then his uncle . . . but nothing could possibly worse than watching Catherine’s face fall when he told her. He surprised himself, though, by not wondering if there was a way to escape a reckoning with her, because he didn’t want their relationship to end with lies, even if that was how it began. She deserved better, and he would at least give her the truth, if he could give nothing beyond that except sincere apologies and a promise never to lie to her again. If he wasn’t mistaken, she had been sheltered as all society girls were, and never pushed against convention as her younger sister seemed to be doing. He wondered why it had fallen to Catherine to watch out for Sarah, and how difficult it must be now, as she was spending so much time at the shelter and in the community.
“Your mind is elsewhere, Will. Is there something you’d like to talk about? Perhaps it is a young lady who has captured your attention?”
Her smile was so encouraging, her eyes shining with interest. Why did she even care about him at all, when she knew so little of him, save that her husband found him an excellent work companion and enjoyed his company besides. She and her husband were devoted to each other in ways that so many married couples were not, at least of their class. If he had met Catherine under different circumstances, if her parents had approved and if he hadn’t been acting like a fool with all his drinking . . .
He shook his head, both to clear it and answer her question.
“No, not at all. I have quite a bit to think about just now, and I hope after this party, I will be able to discuss something important with both you and Mr. Van Alden.”
Her smile dimmed the slightest bit and he hated the thought that he his words had affected her negatively.
“Of course, Will. Of course. But for now, I wish you would enjoy yourself, and have some pride in what you’ve managed to accomplish since you’ve been in town. If you have no young lady in mind, I am sure you will meet several at the party. It would be a shame if you didn’t meet someone special to spend time with, as busy as you’ve been.”
To his astonishment and horror, he felt the sting of tears behind his eyes and turned away quickly.
“I’m not too concerned about such things, but I do need to attend to an important matter, so I must beg to be excused.”
He hoped she didn’t think he was being too rude, but she was so perceptive and he was such a liar. It seemed so easy to admit that now, when he was so far lost in those lies, knowing that the Davenports knew but were leaving it up to him to confess. How much easier would it be if they exposed his ruse, and then he could run back to the City and his uncle, who wanted him back for some unknown reason. But Catherine . . .
He took his hat from the rack by the door as he left, knowing that he was taking the greatest chance of his life but there was nothing else he could possibly do.
Chapter Twenty
“There’s a man at the door, he’s quality, too, miss!”
Jeannette was as excited as a fourteen year old girl could be over a stranger at the servant’s entrance, although she was generally excitable over anything out of the ordinary. Catherine was tired of Sarah tugging at her the past few days, and now Jeannette had somehow been unable to find an older maid or even anyone else in the house to exclaim about a visitor. Why in the world would anyone be at the servant’s entrance, she wondered, not really concerned but knowing that she had to find out, or Jeannette would burst. If this gentleman was here on an important matter, he certainly wouldn’t be knocking at that door. Perhaps he was up to no good. With Sarah’s antics and Annie and Becky’s revelation as to what Sarah had been doing when she was able to slip out during the night, Catherine worried that this man might have something to do with her. She’d let him know what she thought of him chasing her little sister.
“Oh. Will.”
He was the last person she expected to see anywhere near her home, but she hadn’t known what to expect of him at all. Her thoughts had strayed to him over and over again as she relived those moments in the shelter kitchen, the way it felt to have him stand so near, then to touch her just the slightest bit. Sarah had wanted to speak only of the Van Alden party and did so whether or not Catherine acknowledged her presence, and her mother continued to make references to marriage contracts. Catherine just didn’t have it in her to argue with anyone. She was so tired, and wondered if understanding what was happening with Will would make her feel better. Whatever the truth was, her brother was certain that it wasn’t good for her, and while she wasn’t sure, she wanted to give Will the benefit of the doubt.
Will clearly hadn’t expected her to appear so suddenly and so soon. His eyes grew wide and he reached for her without concern for the other eyes in the room. Jeannette was enraptured by his gesture and Catherine wanted to tell her to leave them, but she couldn’t find her voice. All she could do was put her hands in Will’s and allow him to pull her close to him in front of the door. They were still visible to anyone else in the room, but once they were touching and she was caught in the sea-blue of his gaze, it didn’t matter.
“I shouldn’t be here, and I know it would be terrible for your reputation if someone saw us together alone, but I had to let you know that I will tell you everything.”
“Why can’t you tell me now?”
Her voice sounded quiet yet firm to her own ears, and she was surprised that she had asked. She wondered, though, and if he had taken the time and risk to come over, it didn’t seem to make sense that he wouldn’t use this time alone to explain whatever it was that needed told.
“I need more time. Not to decide what to tell you, that isn’t it. We need to be able
to sit together and I need to know that we won’t be interrupted, so I can tell you everything. There is more to what needs said than what has happened since I arrived in Newport. So much more. I don’t want you to hear any of it from elsewhere, just from me. Please.”
She swallowed against the urge to question him further, just as she held tightly to his hands.
“Oh, miss, miss!”
Jeannette hissed from the station she had taken up against the wall near the door that led further into the house, as if she were acting as a lookout just as she had kept her eyes on the two of them.
“Someone’s coming!”
That someone scampered into the room before Jeannette finished speaking and Catherine could do anything to hide Will.
“Oh, Miss Catherine!”
Annie covered her mouth with both hands and Catherine held back a sigh.
“Shh, Annie. Come in and mind your own business, if you please.”
Annie’s eyes grew nearly as wide as Jeannette’s, and Catherine worried that she was being too harsh with her. Still, it wouldn’t do for anyone in her family to catch her with Will, or for Will to be there at all, and she didn’t want to let go of him. Not just yet.
Before she could stop him, Will sank to one knee and lifted her hands to his lips. Catherine heard one of the maids squeak, but then she became oblivious to everyone and everything but Will, who had never looked anywhere but her face since she found him here only moments earlier.
“I want to show your parents that I’m not only worthy to court you because of my family’s name, but because I care for you, and would do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy.”
His family’s name?
He touched his forehead to her fingertips and rose in one swift motion, and she didn’t realize that he was kissing her until she felt his hands on her cheeks, his touch gentle as if she was something delicate and breakable. She relaxed into his embrace but suddenly they were apart, and he was tugging at her hands, where she had gripped his suit jacket without thinking.