Imperfect Justice

by Olivia Jaymes

  It would be good to see Tanner again, although he would see him on Sunday at the meeting with all the other guys. Jared was particularly anxious to talk to all of them about the specter of Boyd Hicks.

  “That’s good.” She was fiddling with her spoon again and staring down at the table. “How have you been?”

  “I’ve been good. And you?”

  His curiosity was getting the better of him. If she wanted them to start seeing each other again, hell, he was all for it. Maybe he should make this easier for her.

  “I’m good. I’ve been busy packing and getting ready to move.”

  His stomach seemed to plunge and twist in reaction to her words. She wasn’t staying. She was still leaving. So what was this about? Another night before she left for good? Was he just the boy-toy now? If this wasn’t about them, he wanted to get down to business.

  “So what did you want–” he began.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Her words were whispered but he heard them clearly. But his mind was having trouble with their meaning while the back of his neck broke into a sweat.

  “Could you say that ag–”

  “I’m pregnant.” This time she raised her gaze from the table. Her lips were trembling as if she was about to burst into tears. Instinct made him grab her hand and squeeze the fingers comfortingly.

  But who was going to comfort him? His dense brain had finally processed her statement and a surreal feeling came over him. This couldn’t be right.

  “I wore a condom.”

  Her eyes closed briefly and she shook her head. “Yeah, that was exactly my first thought. So I took a second test. It was positive too.”

  Positive.

  He felt like a judge had just pounded a gavel and a cell door swung shut. It sucked the oxygen from his lungs, making it almost impossible to breathe.

  Positive.

  Misty was pregnant and he was going to be a father. At that moment she looked so young and vulnerable. Too young to be having his kid. She looked scared as well. Well, that made two of them. He wanted to run from the diner and not look back.

  But he wouldn’t do that.

  Misty had trusted him that night to take care of her. He’d been the one with experience and he’d told her everything would be okay. He was responsible for this and by God, he’d do right by her. That’s what a man did. Take responsibility for his mistakes.

  “Are you okay?” he finally asked, still trying to wrap his mind around what she’d said. His head was telling him he ought to get proof or something but then realized Misty wasn’t the type of person to pull something like that. From her expression she was just as devastated as he was.

  “I’m tired and I don’t like the smell of certain things, but I’m okay.” Her fingers had twisted together and the knuckles were white. “Listen, I’m not asking anything of you, okay? I just wanted to tell you because it was the right thing to do. You can be as involved or not involved as you want. And you can come visit the baby anytime. I mean that.”

  “I’m the father.” His voice sounded strangled but the words came out. “Of course I’m going to be involved.”

  His thoughts were coming into focus now and a sharp stab of fear pierced his heart. He didn’t want to lose out on being this child’s father. Planned or unplanned. He was going to be a dad. A dad. As crazy as it was it was also kind of miraculous. He and Misty had made a baby.

  “I’m just saying I’m not trying to put any pressure on you.”

  Jared tried to smile and put her at ease. Clearly she’d been terrified to tell him and he was glad she wasn’t telling some other kind of guy. The kind that wouldn’t be supportive or caring. He hoped he was better than that.

  “I think we’re both going to feel pressure for the next eighteen years or so. Raising a child is going to be a challenge, honey, but I think we’re up for it. We’ll figure this out together.”

  She smiled, obviously relieved he was taking the news so well. He congratulated himself on his calm demeanor and take charge attitude. He’d be there for her every fucking step of the way. But first things first.

  “I’m glad you feel that way,” Misty sighed, her fingers finally unclenching, letting the paper napkin fall unheeded to the table before taking a sip of her hot chocolate. “I feel better knowing I won’t be alone.”

  He patted her hand. “You definitely won’t be alone. We should start making some plans right away. Once I tell my family I can call the judge and we can set something up maybe next weekend. What do you think?”

  Misty placed the mug back down on the table and frowned. “Judge? You want to settle custody right now? I was hoping we could work this out between us without going to court.”

  Why would they need a custody agreement?

  “Misty,” he explained impatiently, his mind already moving at light speed thinking of all the things that needed to be done. They’d need to move her belongings into his house today if possible so he could keep an eye on her, care for her. “I’m not talking about custody. I’m talking about getting married. We can have the judge come to the house next weekend and marry us. I think the sooner the better, don’t you agree?”

  “No.”

  She was shaking her head and Jared realized he was pushing. Again. He had a bad habit of that.

  “I’m sorry. I guess I forgot that some women dream about their wedding and all. If you want a big ceremony that’s fine, but that’s even more reason to get started planning it. I’d like to be married before you start showing.”

  “Jared, listen to me.” Her gaze captured his forcing his attention away from his plans and back to the woman in front of him. “I’m saying no. No, I won’t marry you.”

  “No?” He couldn’t believe his ears. She must not understand what he was asking.

  “No.”

  There was finality to her tone that got through to him at last. All the women he’d dated since he was a teenager…all the women who had schemed to be Mrs. Jared Monroe…now he was offering it to this little slip of a woman.

  And she’d turned him down flat.

  Misty could see the impatience in Jared’s eyes, his entire body tense. She didn’t flatter herself to think that he was hurt by her refusal to marry him but he was not happy. An alpha male like Jared made plans and expected everyone else to fall in line.

  “Please let me explain. This doesn’t have anything to do with you. This is about me.”

  His eyes narrowed. “The old – ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ – line? I thought you enjoyed our night together.”

  Sheesh, was it all about a man’s ego? In the midst of all this he was worried about his sexual performance?

  “I did. Very much, but that’s hardly something to base a marriage on now, is it?” she replied reasonably. “We don’t love each other, Jared.”

  He threw his hands into the air. “What does that matter now? We’re having a baby. A baby that needs both his mother and father. Aren’t you being a little selfish?”

  Was she? From the moment she’d seen those two blue lines on the pregnancy stick she’d known every decision she made from that moment on would be about the child she carried. She already loved it – boy or girl. She wanted to be sure this baby felt loved and secure.

  “No, I’m thinking ahead. This might work while the baby is young but eventually he or she is going to get older. Don’t you think she’ll notice that her parents aren’t like other moms and dads? That they don’t kiss or hug? How do you think that will make her feel? Eventually she might blame herself. I don’t want that. I don’t want that at all.”

  Jared shifted on the vinyl seat. “We’d kiss and hug. Just because we’re not in love doesn’t mean we couldn’t, you know, like each other. I like you, Misty.”

  “I like you too. And I want it to stay that way. But what happens if you really fall in love someday? With someone else. You make it sound so simple but I don’t think we have what it takes to make a marriage work.” She paused, not sure she should e
ven admit it to him. “If I ever get married, I want a husband that loves me. I want a loving home. It’s what I want for my baby too.”

  “I’m trying to do the right thing here.” Jared’s voice was gruff and full of emotion and her own throat tightened in sympathy.

  “I know, and I’m grateful that you’re willing to step up to the plate so to speak. I think we can give this baby a good life without doing something that could only end badly. For both of us.” Misty forced a laugh. “Besides, can you see the ladies of Fielding if you and I got married? They might actually have a stroke right then and there. We can’t be responsible for something like that now, can we?”

  Jared didn’t smile but he stopped frowning. “You know I don’t give a shit what people think. They’re going to find out about us anyway when you start to show. I hope you don’t have any thoughts about trying to keep the fact that I’m the father a secret.”

  “I’ll be in Seattle by then,” she reminded him gently. “No one here in Fielding even has to know about the baby unless you tell them. And I’ll respect your decision either way on that.”

  Jared slapped the top of the Formica table, his face turning red. “You are not going to Seattle.”

  Heads all over the diner whipped around and Misty slunk down in her seat to get away from their prying eyes. She didn’t know anyone here but she also didn’t like Jared making a scene.

  Apparently Jared thought that getting pregnant meant she had to give up on all her dreams. If anything, it meant she needed to chase them all the harder. It wasn’t just about her anymore; this was about what she could give her child if she succeeded.

  Misty took a deep breath to calm herself. Getting angry at him wasn’t going to help the situation. “The lease on my apartment is up at the end of next week. I signed a yearlong lease on the new place and put down a large deposit which I would lose if I break the contract. The gallery I’m working with is also in Seattle. That’s how I earn my living and how I’ll support this baby. You’re still the father no matter where I am. I said you could see the baby whenever you wanted to and I meant it. I’m not giving up my dreams to stay here in Fielding so everyone can point and whisper as I walk by.”

  “Now you are being selfish.” Jared’s tone was low and accusing. “You’re taking my baby away from me. As for money, you don’t need to work. I can easily support both of you.”

  Misty groaned and slapped her forehead. This man simply didn’t get it. “That’s awesome. I can be your kept woman as long as I give up everything I’ve ever wanted in life. What a great deal. Tell me, Jared, what do you give up?”

  “My freedom,” he snapped back and then seemed to think better of it. “Shit, I didn’t mean that to come out that way. Dammit, Misty, you’ve got me all turned around here.”

  “Welcome to the club. Now you know how I’ve felt since I found out. But can’t you see? We’re at each other’s throats already about who’s making a bigger sacrifice. That’s why marriage between us wouldn’t work. We shouldn’t be two victims making vows we really don’t mean. We’ll only come to resent each other eventually and believe me, our child will figure that out. Kids are smart.”

  The fight seemed to drain out of him at that point. “Okay, let’s table the marriage discussion. For now, anyway. But I don’t want you to leave town. How can I make sure you’re okay if you’re in Seattle? I don’t want to miss a minute of the pregnancy or our baby.”

  Misty had to admit Jared’s protective streak was kind of sweet. What he didn’t seem to realize was that she’d been taking care of herself since she was eight years old. “You could call me. Or text me. Even Skype. That way you could see I was fine and healthy.”

  “It’s not the same,” he argued and he had a point.

  It hadn’t occurred to her that he would want to be this involved, which only underlined the fact that they didn’t know each other well enough for marriage. Maybe she needed to rethink the whole Seattle thing. The city wasn’t going anywhere and she could paint from here and travel back and forth as needed. She didn’t want to be the kind of person who deprived a loving man of his child.

  “I see that you really mean it about wanting to be involved. Can you give me a few days to think about this? If I stay here in Fielding I’ll have to find another place to live since my apartment has already been leased by someone else. Plus I have to do something about the contract in Seattle. There has to be a way we can compromise.”

  Jared nodded, seemingly satisfied with her answer. “A fair compromise is all I ask. And as for your lease in Seattle I can buy you out of that. Just say the word.”

  It must be nice not to have to worry about money and if she decided to stay in Fielding, even for just the pregnancy, she’d think about taking him up on the offer. She had her pride, but otherwise she was going to lose pretty much all her life savings.

  “You took the news better than I expected,” she admitted, stirring the whipped cream in her hot chocolate. “I’d heard you were calm in a crisis and now I’ve seen it for myself.”

  “I wouldn’t necessarily file this under a catastrophe. There are worse things in life.” Jared signaled for the waitress. “Just for grins…how did you think I’d react?”

  Misty laughed and shook her spoon at him playfully, glad the tension between them had dissolved. “I thought you might run screaming down the street, hop in your truck, maybe change your name.”

  Chuckling, Jared asked the waitress to bring them two menus and more coffee and hot chocolate. “That sounds pretty extreme. Why don’t we order some lunch and maybe talk about baby names? I had an uncle named Horatio. It’s kind of a family name.”

  Her look of horror must have amused him. “I’m kidding. Well, not about my uncle’s name but about the whole family thing. I think we might want to pick something more mainstream.”

  Misty barely glanced at the menu. “I’m not really hungry.”

  Jared pushed the menu back in front of her. “You’re eating for two now. How about the grilled chicken with rice and vegetables? That sounds nice and healthy.”

  Her stomach, already nauseous from anticipating this meeting, took the opportunity to churn in her abdomen letting her know undoubtedly that was not what she was going to be having for lunch.

  She pressed a hand to her middle and shook her head. “That doesn’t sound so good. Oh look, they have chicken pot pie. Now that I think I could eat.”

  “That’s a lot of carbs.” Jared was frowning at the menu as if it had done something to offend him.

  “Do you want me to eat or not?” she asked sharply. Geez, he was bossy. He was going to have to learn no one ordered her around. Badge or no badge.

  He cleared his throat and stuck his nose back in the menu. “I want you to eat. I just want you to eat healthy.”

  Reining in her swirling emotions, she sighed and pushed the menu away. “Listen, I’m tired and my stomach is queasy. I just want some comfort food for it. I promise I won’t spend the next nine months eating cheeseburgers and chili fries.”

  Rubbing the back of his neck, he nodded but she could tell it was reluctantly. “You need to make sure you get your rest. Maybe even get in a nap if you need to.”

  “Trust me, I’m falling asleep at all hours of the day and night. My friend Rayne says this is normal in the beginning. I’m making a human being here. It’s a lot of work,” she tried to joke and was rewarded with a real smile this time.

  The waitress came back with their coffee and hot chocolate and Jared ordered for both of them. Chicken pot pie and a side salad for her and a steak sandwich with extra cheese for him. It looked like he worried about her health but was relatively unconcerned about his own. She’d make him eat the darn salad since he’d ordered it. Greens would only make her tummy more upset but he didn’t seem to be really hearing what she was saying.

  “If this is going to work you’re going to have to give me some space. You can’t just horn into my life and start ordering me around. I’m not going t
o fall in line like one of your deputies,” she warned, wanting to put them on equal footing right here at the beginning. He needed to respect her wishes and trust she wouldn’t do anything to hurt their child.

  “Just don’t relegate me to the sidelines.” Jared’s blue gaze captured her own, his expression deadly serious. “I want to be involved. Hell, I will be involved. I know you’re used to doing everything on your own, Misty, but this isn’t just yours. This baby belongs to both of us. We may not have planned this, but now that it’s happened I’m going to be the best damn father in Montana.”

  From what Misty knew about this man that was exactly what he would be. And where would that leave her? She could see now that leaving for Seattle would be a selfish move. How many times as a little girl had she wondered about her own father? No, this baby would know it was loved. By two parents.

  Somehow she had to make this work. The question was how.

  Chapter Ten

  Jared didn’t have much time to dwell on the shocking news Misty had delivered to him. Halfway through their lunch he’d received a call from Deputy Knox that Chris’s departmental SUV was on fire at a convenience store out of town. He hated to leave her in a lurch like that but if she was going to be his wife then she would need to get used to stuff like this. And she was going to marry him. She wasn’t thinking straight right now, but in a few days or weeks she’d realize it was the only sensible thing to do.

  By the time Jared made it there the flames had been extinguished but the vehicle was going to be a total write off. Hays, the tow truck driver, was hitching the burned-out hull to his truck as Jared circled the SUV looking for signs of what had started the blaze.

  “So you were inside talking to Billy about the shoplifters when this happened?” Jared asked Chris. The younger man looked upset and a little scared, as if he was afraid Jared was going to rip him a new one.

  “Yes, sir. But Billy didn’t know anything about the call. I had my back to the windows so Billy was the first to spot the flames. I got his fire extinguisher while he called the fire department. I’m sorry, boss.”