Brotherhood of District 23 Complete Series

by Amy Briggs

  I read through the messages from the unknown number.

  Jack—I think you’re right, there is definitely racketeering going on, we need to get a file on this with the evidence you have and then build a case

  Where are you? We need to get together.

  Are you getting my messages?

  Shit, why aren’t you replying, is everything okay?

  Then they stopped. They were all from about a week ago, one week after Jack died.

  Jack found out there was some type of racketeering? He had evidence to support this too? Who was he talking to about this? I stared at the screen for awhile before deciding that I had to get in touch with the person on the other end.

  Nobody ever thinks of their parents as anything other than parents until they’re confronted with it. I knew for me, my dad was my dad, and he was the fire Chief. He was my friend and my confidant and advisor too, but I didn’t really remember him as a husband to my mother. He was a friend to a lot of people, but since they were all mostly fire and emergency services people, it almost didn’t even count, because it was still kind of work related.

  Realizing that my dad had a relationship with Mrs. Cavanaugh, Catherine, was a real revelation for me. I decided not to call before making my way over to her place, I didn’t really know what to say I thought that swinging by would be better. I grabbed the box of letters, looked at them one more time quickly, and packed them and myself up for the short trip over to her place.

  She still lived in the same house the boys grew up in, and I'd always loved it there. They had a huge climbing tree in their front yard just like my dad’s, and Matt and I used to basically just sit in the tree planning out our lives. We didn’t need a tree house, just a good solid branch. Brian would join us once in a while when we were really young, but when we became teenagers, he was off doing his own thing. God, I missed him. I missed his touch. I missed the way he took control. He made me feel like I didn’t have to worry about anything; he was so strong and assured. He felt like home.

  I needed to get a move on, it was already noon. I had spent most of my morning lazily re-reading the letters I was about to give over, and thinking about what I’d say to Mrs. Cavanaugh. It was time to get to it. She deserved these letters.

  I pulled up in her driveway, and her front door was opened, leaving the screen door to the porch open. My Jeep isn’t exactly super quiet, so she probably heard me coming, since she came out to the porch when I pulled into the driveway. She started waving immediately, and looked happy to see me. She was so pretty, she had her red hair, which had started to gray over the years, up in a cute loose bun, and she always wore a dress. Always. She was no nonsense, but she was also very feminine.

  “Well, Josephine! How lovely to see you!” she called out.

  “Hi, Mrs. Cavanaugh, I hope this is an alright time to just show up?”

  “I’ve told you one hundred times, love, it’s Catherine,” she scolded me.

  “I’m sorry, Catherine. I hope it’s okay I just showed up without calling?” I asked.

  “Of course it is, love. Come on in, let me put on some tea for us and you can tell me what brings you by, sweetheart.” She was so warm and inviting all the time. I really loved her as much as I would my own mom.

  “Thank you,” I made my way into her sitting room, which was just for adults and looked around, waiting to see where she wanted me to go.

  She looked at me standing there, holding the box and laughed. “Sit, sit, my dear. You’re a grown up now, you can sit in here,” she chuckled on her way to the kitchen to make us tea. I wasn't a huge fan of tea unless it’s iced tea, but whatever she wants. The visit was feeling pretty awkward. I sat on the flowered sofa and looked around at the pictures of Matt and Brian, and a few of all of us doing a variety of things through our adolescence. We were some real goofballs back in the day. There was one picture of all of us making smiles with orange peels in our mouths that made me laugh out loud. That was definitely taken when we were playing soccer together on the Police Athletic League team. Since Brian was three years older than us, it was one of the rare times that our age difference put us all on the same team which was so much fun. Matt and Brian were always close, they never fought as brothers at all, and actually played really well together, much like they did at work as well. My dad and Catherine would come to our games and yell from the sidelines. I don’t know if it’s the Irish in her, but Catherine got yellow carded for screaming from the sidelines more than once. You’d never know that about her because she’s so soft spoken usually, but man did she love some soccer, and she loved calling out the referees on what she felt were bad calls. I would have been so embarrassed, but the boys loved it, they always thought it was the funniest thing, and she’d have to go wait in the car for the rest of those games

  “Oh, that picture makes me smile every single day, Josephine,” she smiled at me and handed me an iced tea. She knew me.

  “Thank you so much,” I took the tea. “We were so silly back then,” I said, drifting off into memories of what felt like one hundred years ago.

  “It wasn’t all that long ago you three were getting into trouble all the time,” she laughed. “So what brings you by, dear? What’s in the box?” She gestured to the shoebox I had placed on the coffee table in front of me.

  I took a deep breath. “Well, I was going through some of my dad’s things last night, and I found something that I think belongs to you.” She was watching me, small lines forming around her lips and eyes as she smiled. I suspected she knew exactly what was in the box.

  “I knew you’d come eventually, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.” She took my hand in hers. “I loved your father very much, Josephine, he was a very good man.” She smiled sweetly, tears filling her bright green eyes. She and Brian had the same beautiful green eyes, I couldn’t take my eyes off of them. “I’m sure you knew that already though, love.” She paused. “Before you begin, let me tell you a little bit about your parents, and the side of your father that I came to know, and then you can share with me, okay?”

  “Okay, yes please,” I started to sniffle a little bit. I had a tendency normally to simply just not be soft, I’m not sure why. Maybe it was spending so much time with boys my whole life, but I didn’t talk about my feelings much, and I didn’t like acknowledging them, but being here with Catherine, about to hear about a side of my dad I didn’t really know, gave me butterflies.

  “I know you didn’t know your mother very well, you were so young when she got sick, and you stayed with us quite a bit when your father was trying to take care of her, do you remember that?” she asked me.

  “I remember that a little bit. I mostly just remember hanging out here with you and the boys a lot more than anything. I don’t remember very much about my mom to be totally honest. My dad told me about her sometimes. He said he wanted me to know who she was, and said that I reminded him of her sometimes.”

  “Well, he was right, dear. You certainly look just like your mom, she was beautiful and you two have the same smile. You know that she was my friend, and she was a very loving person. She and I became good friends after we met in the hospital when we had you and Matt. She became sick soon after you were born though, and spent several years trying to get well again before the doctors realized what was wrong, and by then it was just too late to help her. Your father’s job became to make her comfortable more than anything else. At the same time, my husband left me and the boys, and I developed a friendship with your father as we joined forces to take care of your mom and you little ones.

  Your mother asked me to look after you and your father when she knew that her time on this earth was coming to an end. It was heartbreaking for all of us, but she knew that you would be raised in that firehouse, and she wanted you to have a woman in your life that you could come to when you needed, and I gladly offered to do whatever I could before she ever asked. It was shortly after your mom passed away that your father and I became closer. First, we shared our
grief together, and then the challenges of raising you kids.” She smiled as she was thinking about some memory. I’m sure the three of us were a handful back then, hell we were kind of a handful as adults too. I stayed quiet and hung on every word as she recalled the past I knew nothing about.

  “One day, when you and Matt were about four years old, and Brian was seven, your father stopped by to see me, and he didn’t have you with him, but he had flowers that he had clearly picked somewhere. When I asked him where you were, he said that you were at your Aunt Molly’s house for the weekend, and that he had come just to see me. It was at that moment, that I fell in love with your father. He had come just to visit with me, and brought me those beautiful flowers. The boys were out back playing, and we sat on my front porch talking about where our lives had ended up and what we wanted for you kids, and for ourselves.

  After that day, we began to have a romantic relationship. Don’t worry, I won’t go into details with you, but I want you to know that I never felt a love for anyone in my life like I did for Jack. He was my soulmate. He gave me a scanner so that I could listen to calls because I worried about all of you, and he taught me about what you do. Your father was a gentleman, Josephine, he was everything I hoped for my boys to become; kind and gentle, but tough when he needed to be. He showed me a love I never thought truly existed, and we shared our lives together quietly, because that’s what felt right for us. When your father died, I too lost a piece of my heart, sweetheart.” Those beautiful green eyes of hers started to fill with tears, tearing me up inside.

  I felt my chest tighten, and tears started to fall from my eyes. “I’m sorry, I read all of them, Mrs. Cavanaugh. I feel like there’s a whole part of my dad I didn’t even know and I feel so awful you had this wonderful love between you and that you felt like you had to keep it a secret…” I trailed off and started really crying.

  She leaned over and scooped me into a huge hug. “First of all, you call me, Catherine. And second of all, don’t you dare feel bad. It was a choice that we made as adults, and we were quite comfortable with it over the years. Our relationship was unique, and we liked it that way, so don’t for one minute feel like you kept us from anything.” She comforted me like only a mother could, stroking my back and squeezing me in that hug. Some people give weak hugs like they can’t wait for it to be over, not Catherine, she was all about a good hug, and I loved every moment of it.

  I pulled away to wipe the tears from my face, and she smiled at me. “Shall we have a real drink and talk, Miss Josephine? I want to answer any questions that you have,” she stood up and walked across the room to grab some tissues for me.

  I laughed a little through my tears. “Okay, that sounds good.” I took the tissues from her, and she turned back to go to the liquor cabinet, and poured us both some whiskey. She handed me one, and then walked over to a curio cabinet in the sitting room, and opened a drawer. She pulled out a beautiful round hat box with flowers all over it, and brought it, and her drink over to the couch.

  Setting the large hatbox down next to the shoe box I brought, she said, “These are the letters your father wrote to me over the years, Jo. You are more than welcome to read them if you’d like. It may give you an understanding of who your father was besides the Chief, and your dad of course. He was a deep and loving man, who loved you more than anything in the world, and was always so worried whether or not he was doing what was best for you.”

  I dabbed at my eyes and my runny nose and looked up at her. “Are you sure? These are private, you don’t have to let me read them,” I felt like I was ten years old suddenly, and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings or intrude any further than I already had.

  “I’m quite sure. Now you sit and read, and I’m going to make us some lunch and then we can talk about anything you would like, okay?” She stood up.

  “Okay, thank you so much.” She smiled at me and reached over to squeeze my shoulder gently, and then made her way into the kitchen.

  I opened the box and looked at the stack of letters, and took the one off of the top, touching the corners of it. You could tell it wasn’t that old, the paper was bright white, and I recognized the handwriting on it as my dad’s. I’d seen him write a million reports, and he was always writing in his notebooks or journals, so I’d know it anywhere. On the outside of the envelope, it simply said “Catherine” in his unmistakable penmanship.

  I opened the envelope and pulled out the small piece of folded paper. It was dated about two and a half weeks ago.

  Dearest Catherine,

  I’m so excited to tell the children, I hope they won’t be angry we’ve kept this secret for so long. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do, and then it was our special thing that was just for us, like a vacation from the craziness of everyday life. I love those boys of yours as if they were my own, and Josephine already looks to you as a mother figure, and for that I cannot ever express my gratitude.

  You’ve meant so much to me all of these years, and shouting it from the rooftops doesn’t begin to be a big enough celebration of our future together.

  Love you always,

  Jack

  I smiled and put the letter back in the envelope and sighed. It was really sweet that he had someone, and in all honesty, I loved Catherine. You had to love her, she was the sweetest lady on earth, and she was also a good mother. She was always laughing with us, but also didn’t take our shit either.

  I pulled another letter out and opened it. They all looked pretty much the same, plain white envelopes, with Catherine’s name on the outside, and the notes were written on plain white, unruled paper.

  Dearest Catherine,

  I know we talked about it, but I still wanted to send a note apologizing for canceling our dinner plans the other night. I look forward to seeing you always, and I don’t like it when work interferes with seeing you. Soon, I’ll be able to retire, and we can sit on the porch together and not worry about these things. You are my heart, my mo chroi (I Googled it to make sure I got the spelling right, are you impressed?) I love that you teach me so much, my heart is full.

  I’ll see you soon.

  Love you always,

  Jack

  I giggled at that one. My dad really had a love hate relationship with technology. I considered it a big deal for him to Google something for a love letter. I read the rest of the letters, which were mostly summaries of how he felt about different things they did together, and about future plans. He talked about going to the beach with Catherine, she went with him fishing one time which shocks me, but apparently they had a lovely time not catching anything at all.

  Another one detailed how much my dad loved going to a flower show with her. My dad at a flower show, now that’s a sight I would liked to have seen. Apparently, they had a fantastic time smelling the roses, and they picked up a bunch of things that he planted for her here at her house. I saw Catherine peek out at me from the kitchen a couple of times to see how I was. When I was finished reading all of them, I relaxed and smiled. I felt happy, and relieved that my father had love in his life.

  I got up and walked into the kitchen and without saying a word just hugged her from behind. She had been at the kitchen counter doing something, and I just couldn’t hold back. She turned around and hugged me back.

  “Are you okay, dear?” she asked me while we stayed in each other's embrace.

  “I’m better than okay, Catherine. It makes me so happy to know how happy my dad was,” I released her and stepped back. “I used to worry so much about him, and thought he spent way too much time worrying about what I was doing, or making his whole life about the fire department. I’m honestly bursting with joy that he had all of these wonderful experiences with you over the years. I just wish that we could have shared it together, that part makes me sad.”

  “Don’t be sad, Josephine, to be honest, we talked about that a lot over the years, as I’m sure you gathered from the letters. At first, we just didn’t want to complicate your lives, and th
en later on we kind of enjoyed our little secret. It was an escape for us. I’m sorry that you had to find out the way that you did, you know your father was going to tell you but then…” she trailed off.

  She turned around to finish making us sandwiches, and continued talking while I sat down at the kitchen table to listen. “We can’t change the past, but we can certainly make the most of the days that we have here with our loved ones. Your father knew that, and he knew that you would eventually find your way as well.”

  “Did he talk to you about me?”

  “Of course he did! He would have been so happy that you are returning to the station, even though he’s not here to see it.” She said as she put a plate down in front of me. She set one down for herself as well, and sat across from me.

  I smiled. “Did Matt tell you I was coming back?”

  “Actually, no,” she smirked at me. “Brian was here the other day, and he told me all about it.”

  “Oh he did?” I tried not to look as guilty or annoyed as I felt.

  “Yes, he did. I understand you two had a bit of a falling out the other day. He was quite upset about it,” she was definitely egging me on now. I didn’t want to take the bait, but I was dying to know what he said. So, he was upset?

  “Hmm, well you could say that. He asked me to come back to the station, but then he was kind of a jerk to me when we went out on a call together the same day. I’m still going to come back though, I belong there. I wish my dad was here to see it.” I didn’t want to say anything bad about her son to her, and honestly, I wished things were different anyway. If I could be with him, I would.