Girl off the Grid

by Jillian Dodd

“Uh, yeah,” I say, reluctantly peeling my eyes away from Adam’s and trying to put my jacket on.

  “Can you believe how hard it’s raining?” he laughs, trying to get his jacket pulled over his head. His hair is dripping wet, but he has a smile on his face, and I can tell he is enjoying this little adventure. I’m very thankful I chose to put my hair in a bun and wear a hat and waterproof mascara. I can’t imagine how I would look otherwise.

  Everyone is walking at a quicker pace in the rain, but the ground is getting slippery, and Adam keeps stopping to take photos, so we fall behind a little.

  “Will your camera be okay in the rain?” I ask him.

  “Yeah, I put a waterproof case on it when we were at the top because it looked like it was going to rain.”

  Diego notices that we are back a ways and stops the group. “You two okay back there?”

  “We are,” Adam says. “I’m taking some photos. Why don’t you go ahead and I’ll catch up.”

  “Are you sure you know the way back? We can wait,” he offers.

  Vivianne seems uncomfortable in the rain but Jimmy is having a blast. He is jumping in puddles and kicking the water.

  “No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine,” he says. “Get everyone out of this rain.”

  “I’ll stay with Adam,” I say to Diego as he is turning back to walk away with the group.

  “What?” Adam and Diego say in unison.

  “I mean, are you sure?” Diego questions. He looks at me with a combination of shock and concern.

  “Yeah. I’ll make sure he doesn’t get lost,” I tease. Adam gives me a big eye roll, but I see a smile pulling at his lips.

  “Well, if you’re sure.”

  “Don’t worry, we will be right behind you,” Adam says reassuringly as the group wanders off.

  Then his focus is solely on a beautiful fern with water droplets sliding over its leaves. He kneels down and snaps a few photos. With his face still behind the lens, he says, “You didn’t have to stay with me.”

  “I know, but I couldn’t just leave you behind to fend for yourself in the jungle,” I tease.

  He laughs, then looks up at me through long, dark, wet eyelashes. His gaze so intense it almost makes me blush. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, but you should know I didn’t stay just for you. I am on a mission to find the quetzal bird. I saw a photo of it when I was looking up stuff about Costa Rica and thought it was beautiful. So if you see one, you have to take a bunch of pictures of it.” I give him a smirk. “And you’ll get bonus points if you get a photo of me and the bird together.” I do a 360, surveying the trees.

  “What does it look like?” Adam asks as he gets up and slowly moves down the trail.

  “Its head and wings are teal green, and it has a beautiful red chest. The underside of its wings almost looked yellow, at least in the photos I saw of it. Its head is round and there are little hairs sticking straight into the air. It was adorable.” I smile, thinking how cute it looked in pictures.

  “Sounds like the quetzal bird needs some of your hair products,” Adam quips.

  “Very funny,” I say with a chuckle.

  We wander down the path in a comfortable silence, the only noise our boots slushing through the mud, Adam’s camera clicking, and the occasional bird chirping.

  I try not to say anything because I don’t want to break Adam’s concentration, and he seems like he’s in some sort of zone. Even though I don’t love getting soaked, I’m glad that it rained. It’s not as stifling hot, and the forest looks completely different than it did on our way through it the first time. The water drips off the plants almost artistically. With everything wet, it’s all shinier and brighter. My grandma used to say that everything always looks brighter after the rain. I know she was talking about life, and how when you get through a rough patch of weather things get brighter. But I realize now that the saying is also literal. At least in the rain forest. Everything totally looks brighter and more beautiful—including Adam.

  “It sounds like that bird stuck with you,” he finally says, breaking the silence. Honestly, I had forgotten about the bird at this point. I was too busy boy watching. “Maybe we’ll spot it.”

  “It’s not looking good. I can see light ahead. We’re almost out of the forest.”

  As we get to the edge of the forest, Adam suddenly stops and turns around.

  “What do you see?” I ask, peering over his back.

  “Nothing really. I just want to get one last photo of the rain coming down.” The downpour has softened, the rain falling to the forest floor gently. The wetness has deepened the color of the trail to a rich brown, and its contrast set against the deep greenery is beautiful. I can see why Adam wanted to stop for one last photo.

  “Get one of us,” I say as he finishes taking his shot.

  “You want a selfie?” he questions, laughing at me.

  “Yes. Now hurry up! I want to get out of this rain.” I move next to him, throw my arm around his shoulder, and turn my head to look up at him. I’m a little taken aback that he is staring right back at me. The rain is dripping off his tanned face, but a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “This has been a fun day. I’m glad I got stuck with you on this trip.”

  “You did not get stuck with me,” I say, narrowing my eyes and pretending to be mad, even though I’m still smiling. “You’re lucky to be on this trip with me. Just imagine, you could have been stuck with someone way worse. Besides, I’m the one who has to put up with you.”

  “Oh, I’m sure,” Adam teases, his eyes bright and playful. His gaze moves up to my hat. “By the way, this hat is something else. Where on earth did you find it?”

  “My safari hat? I love it! It’s so cute. Don’t you think so?”

  “It is pretty cute,” he says, his eyes moving back down from my hat then locking intensely with mine. “Now smile,” he says as he pushes his camera out in front of us.

  I hear the click of him taking a photo, but I wasn’t looking at the camera. I was still staring at him.

  I swallow, realizing when he sees this photo he’ll think that I was checking him out. Or something stupid like that. But I can’t help it that he has such beautiful eyes.

  “Hey! You have to give me a warning,” I say, refocusing my attention on the camera as he takes another picture.

  Adam

  As we meet back up with everyone, I’m overcome with a sense of belonging. I hadn’t realized how comfortable I had come to feel on this bus, with Diego—and Camille. This trip has been a new experience for me. I’ve never spent so much time with someone I had never met before. It’s weird, realizing you’ve known someone for less than a week when you feel like you’ve known them forever. I’ve grown close to Camille, too close, probably. It’s not that I haven’t on occasion hooked up with someone knowing we had no future, but I can’t do that with Camille for some reason. Probably because she seems like more.

  She’s more of everything. She lights up a room. She lights up a downpour. I’m falling hard for her. And I can’t. She lives in New York, has an apartment, friends, university, and her family. I’m always traveling, jumping at any opportunity to be sent off somewhere new. Other than my parents, I have no roots. And I didn’t think I wanted them, but for some reason I’m drawn to her.

  We get on the bus and head back to the hotel. Camille leans her head against the window and dozes off. She can be infuriating and immature, but at the same time she is carefree, passionate, and quite beautiful. Her brown hair is damp and hidden under her silly hat, but there are little soft tendrils that have dried and curled around her face. Her thrift shop find clings to her chest. And those shorts—could they be any shorter? They expose way too much of her tan legs. Her feet are crossed on the floor in front of her, her boots still caked with mud, otherwise I know she would have them tucked up under her.

  But it’s not just the physical part of her that is attractive. It’s the way she looks so peaceful and content. I ache to feel that w
ay. I know what I want to do with my life, but is that going to be enough to fulfill me? That’s the million dollar question and something my parents have preached to me since I was young. They told me happiness comes from loving what you do and having someone to share and support your dreams. I know this trip and these photos will do great things for my career. That they will open doors to possibilities I’ve never imagined. But what else do I want while I’m on this journey? I’m talking about the journey of life, not the journey here in Costa Rica.

  My eyes wander back to the sleeping beauty across for me.

  “I don’t know about you all,” Diego says, “but I’m ready to wash off this mud.”

  “Are we back?” Camille stirs and slowly bats open her eyes. She stretches out her body and covers her mouth as she yawns.

  “It was like a ten-minute drive. How did you fall asleep?”

  “I guess I was tired.” She smiles. “I can nap almost anywhere. It’s a gift. So what’s the plan?” she asks as we get off the bus.

  Diego replies to her. “Manuel and I have to return the bus they were using. We’ll be traveling together for the next few days, so we won’t need it. You guys are free to relax. We’ll have dinner in a little over an hour.”

  “Sounds great,” Camille exclaims as Jimmy comes running up to her.

  “Camille,” he says, poking at her leg. “Do you want to come see my cars?”

  “Well, sure. Where are they?”

  “They’re in my room. I’ll show you.” He grabs her hand, making me feel stupid. Why can’t I do that? Just give her some line about seeing something in my room, grabbing her hand, and leading her there. I guess I’ll just go clean up or something. But then Jimmy stops and peers up at me, his eyes wide. “Adam, do you want to come with us?”

  “I would love to.” I smile warmly as he grabs my hand and drags both of us to his room, with his parents in tow.

  “It’s kind of you to come see his toys. He’s really taken a likin’ to you two,” Floyd says as he unlocks their door.

  “It’s no trouble at all. He’s a sweetie. I love his curiosity and excitement,” Camille says.

  As soon as the door is open, Jimmy barrels into the room, plops down, and dumps out a bunch of cars onto the floor.

  “Wow, you have so many,” Camille squeals.

  “These two are my favorite,” Jimmy says, handing her a purple car with painted flames. “This is a ‘69 Ford Torino Talladega.” He hands me the other car. “And this blue one is a 2016 Ford GT racer. It’s very fast!”

  “Very cool,” I tell him.

  “Which one is your favorite?” he asks Camille.

  She surveys the cars on the ground then picks up a purple, metallic, highly modified exotic car. I should have guessed she would choose the car that would cost the most in real life. Plus it’s obnoxious. I sigh heavily, her car choice cementing my thoughts on the bus ride back here. We would never work.

  “That one is called El Viento,” Jimmy says. Then he whispers to her. “My dad says that one is badass, but I’m not supposed to say that word.”

  Camille chuckles at him then says, “I agree, it is pretty awesome. But I think that would be my city driver.”

  She surprises me when she chooses another car, this one a modified dune buggy with a white body, an aqua roll cage, and thick treaded tires. “And this would be the car I’d want to take on my adventures. Just think, Adam, I could drive and you could stick your head out of the top taking pictures.”

  And with one stupid car choice, she has my heart.

  “That one is called Mountain Mauler,” Jimmy yells.

  Vivianne sits down on the edge of the bed next to us. “Alright, sweetie, why don’t you let Camille and Adam go relax before dinner. I bet they could use a nap, just like you,” she says, giving us a wink.

  “Yes! I’m exhausted,” Camille says, dramatically yawning. “I was already falling asleep on the bus. Do you mind if I go nap?”

  He shakes his head no, but I can see he’s sad.

  “Tell you what, after your nap, maybe you can sit next to me and Camille at dinner. Would you like that?” I ask him. I know how he feels. I don’t want her to leave either.

  His face instantly brightens, and he nods yes.

  “We’ll see you at dinner.” Camille waves at Jimmy as we head out the door followed by Vivianne.

  “Thank you. I could tell the wheels were falling off the wagon. I want him to get in a good nap before dinner, but sometimes he can put up such a fuss. You both have been great with him.” She gives us a warm smile.

  “It’s no trouble,” Camille says, smiling back at her. As soon as Vivianne shuts the door, Camille shoves her shoulder into mine and says, “What’s up?”

  “The sky,” I tease. “What are you going to do before dinner?”

  “Take off these muddy boots and change clothes, for sure. But that will only take a minute. Let’s do something fun.”

  “Like what?”

  “Hmm. I don’t know. Wait, I do! You can be on my vlog. I’m doing some videos in the hopes that I can post them after the article goes live.” She waggles her eyebrows and smirks at me. “Plus, my girls will like seeing a little man candy.”

  “You’re going to exploit me?” I tease, loving the fact that she called me candy.

  She rolls her eyes but then gives me a pout. “Please.”

  “I would, but I’m not like you. I’m not good in front of a camera. I take pictures. I don’t really like to be in them. I don’t like being the center of attention, I guess.”

  “Oh my gosh, that’s so cute,” she says, smiling up at me. “You’re embarrassed.”

  “Oh, stop it. I’m not embarrassed. I just don’t want to be on your silly vlog,” I say defensively.

  “Come on, it will be fun. And besides, it will be just you and me. And I’ll do most of the talking anyways. But I think it will be fun to do another one together. Please,” she says, grabbing my hand and sending a volt of electricity vibrating up my arm and through my body.

  “Fine,” I say, rolling my eyes at her.

  “Yes!” she screeches, much like she did when she beat me at cards.

  Camille

  “Hello, Effortless Girls! I just wanted to give you a little update on our trip. Yesterday, we drove to Panama and got to see manatees. These adorable creatures swim in the water and look sort of like a cow and whale mixed, and we got to see a baby as well! After we did that, we got to tour a mangrove forest. It wasn’t my favorite thing, because, embarrassing story, I fell in the mud there. But luckily, my photographer, Adam, rescued my boot.” I pan over to Adam. “Say hi to the girls, Adam.”

  He gives the camera a totally charming grin and a wave. Why he doesn’t think he belongs on camera with that strong jaw and those gorgeous eyes, I’ll never know.

  I leave the camera on both of us but keep talking. “Aside from my little accident, it was awesome because we got to plant mangrove seeds that will help the forest continue to grow. I didn’t know before all the stuff that mangrove trees do, but it’s pretty amazing how they affect the environment. Then last night we camped out.” I pause dramatically. “Yes, you heard me right. I, Camille Caldwell, went camping! It was an interesting experience, to say the least, but I think it taught me some great life lessons. For example, you have to be able to depend on yourself. No matter what, you’re always stuck with yourself. You have to figure how to get through things and overcome them on your own.”

  “Unless there’s a lizard in your tent,” Adam laughs, surprising me. I thought he wasn’t going to say anything.

  I let out a laugh. “He’s right. Sometimes, even when you are strong and depending on yourself, a little lizard will creep up on you in the middle of the dark and scary forest when you think you are safe in your tent. And you will maybe scream. And hopefully, someone strong and brave”—I give Adam a playful nudge—“like Adam, here, will come rescue you. He found the lizard. I will admit, it was just a little thing, but when i
t ran across me, trust me, it felt way bigger than it was, thus my screaming, and then Adam put the little guy outside.”

  “And then you had a meltdown,” Adam says with a smirk. What the heck?

  “Um, yes, I did have a small one. Sometimes, girls, when you are facing challenges that seem too daunting, you need a good cry. I had one. Got it all out of me. Then I was able to focus on overcoming my fears.” I turn to him. “Thank you for reminding me of that. It’s important to remind girls that you don’t have to be strong all the time. Sometimes you do need a little help from your friends.”

  “So, you’re saying we’re friends?”

  “We might be if you stop interrupting me,” I tease. “So anyway, today we drove back to Costa Rica and went hiking up to the Arenal Volcano. If you’re ever in Costa Rica, this is a must-do. There was a beautiful lookout spot where you could see all the hills surrounding you and the lake and forest below you. Adam took some amazing photos, and I can’t wait for you to see them. And on our way back we got caught in a rain shower. That was fun, too. So, Adam, what has been your favorite part of our trip, so far?”

  “Hmm. I would have to say the butterfly farm and then snorkeling.”

  “And why’s that?” I ask, urging him to talk more.

  “Because we got to see nature in motion. If you observe carefully, you will see extraordinary beauty. Like that butterfly you loved. It had translucent wings full of shimmering color, but if you would have looked too quick, you would have thought they were boring and almost see-through. Each butterfly, fish, and shell is like a work of art. That’s what I love about photography. It’s the quest to capture extraordinary beauty.”

  I’m taken aback by his passionate words. I sit and stare at him in awe for a few moments before he clears his throat, reminding me that we’re still on camera.

  “Uh, so I think we’ll end with that,” I stutter, turning off the camera. “You know, when you’re talking about the things you love, you get pretty deep and poetic.”

  “My mum says I talk about nature and capturing its beauty in an almost sensual way. She said that’s how she knew photography would be my passion.”