Girl off the Grid

by Jillian Dodd

  Vivianne looks a bit pale and Floyd is rubbing her back. I can tell seeing her son so high up, zipping atop the trees, is unnerving for her.

  One by one, the Johnsons, Manuel, and Diego are hooked up and fly across to the next platform.

  That leaves just me and Camille.

  “You go ahead. I can pull up the rear,” Camille says, fidgeting, but I know better.

  “No, you should go first. Just get this one over with. Trust me, once you go, it will be fine,” I say, ushering her forward.

  Camille

  “Ready?” Fernando asks me.

  “I guess so,” I say, hesitantly standing on the platform. I look over the edge and immediately wish I hadn’t. The green tree tops below me might look like a cushiony floor, but I know better. Under those fluffy leaves is another twenty feet before the hard, dark ground.

  I instantly panic.

  “Do you see how high we are? I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” I say to Adam, who annoyingly keeps insisting I go.

  “Stop being a drama queen and just let the poor man strap you in,” he says, rolling his eyes at me.

  “Fine,” I say, pointing my finger at him. “But if anything happens, it’s all your fault.”

  I don’t get a reply, just another eye roll as I’m hooked to the line.

  “Alright. You’re good to go,” Fernando says as the reality of what I’m about to do hits me. I take a deep breath and tell myself I can do it. When that doesn’t help, I tell myself I’ll do it just to spite Adam. That seems to make me feel better, so I raise up my feet and glide through the air. At first, I hold onto the rope for dear life, but once I realize I’m not falling to my death, I try to take in all the beauty around me. I’m moving at a good speed, but everything below me moves slowly. The clouds part, allowing the sun to shine down on me, and the trees glisten brightly.

  As I’m moving toward what looks like the edge of the forest, a waterfall comes into view, taking my breath away. The waterfall is thin and pools far below, but the noise is consuming. The tops of the trees get closer, and I can feel them move as I go rushing by. I see the landing point ahead of me and make sure my legs are tucked as I land right next to Andrey.

  He catches me, holding me tightly in place on the platform. “Well, how was it?” he asks as he unhooks me.

  “Amazing!” I smile at him feeling both invigorated and a little wobbly. “Seeing the waterfall was incredible.”

  I turn around to see Adam flying down the line toward me. He has his camera in hand and is snapping photos of the waterfall. When he gets onto the platform, he stands up and smiles at me, but he’s still close to the edge, and it makes me nervous. I grab his hand and pull him onto solid ground.

  “Did you see me out there?”

  “I did,” he says, grinning at me. “You looked like a pro. I got some great shots.” He holds his camera out, showing me a few.

  “You’re amazing,” I say, buzzing with adrenaline.

  He moves closer to me. “Next time, I want to go before you, so I can get some photos of you coming toward me, okay?”

  He’s so close to me it’s hard to think of a reply. “Perfect.”

  I’m actually really proud of myself. I was so scared, but I’m so glad I didn’t let the fear keep me from missing out on an amazing experience.

  Before I know it, I am getting unhooked from the final zip line and feeling like I have conquered the world. Jimmy is just as wound up. We walk together down a dirt path and come to a stop in front of a set of metal stairs leading to a platform.

  “This is what we call the Tarzan swing,” Fernando says. Peering out, I see nothing but the ground way below us. “Andrey is going to go down there, so I’ll explain how this works. Basically, you just jump off the ledge, free fall, and then you’ll swing back and forth like Tarzan.” Once Andrey gets to the bottom, Fernando says, “Okay, who wants to go first?”

  Vivianne and Earl decide to skip out on this one, while Nancy makes the bold choice to go first. As she gets hooked in, I can see the mixture of fear and excitement in her eyes. She squeals and says she can’t do it, but she does. Within a few seconds of dropping, she is pulled up and swung across the open space. She screams first then starts laughing.

  Jimmy is right behind her, and he jumps without hesitation, probably giving his mom a heart attack. Floyd is next in line, and I can tell he is excited, as well.

  “I’m thinking I’m going to skip this one,” I say to Adam. I turn to head back down the stairs.

  “Why?” he asks, like he doesn’t already know the answer.

  “Because I’m scared of heights. I already told you that before,” I say, annoyed.

  “I know that, but you had fun on the zip line. What if you would have been just as stubborn and not have gone on that? You never would have found out you actually enjoy it.”

  “Don’t make me feel bad for not doing this,” I snap at him. “Vivianne and Earl didn’t do it, and you didn’t say anything to them. I have the right to make my own choices about it.”

  “You do. But look, it’s not just about doing the stupid Tarzan swing. It’s about overcoming your fears. If you really don’t think you can do it, then don’t. But if you’re just scared, break through it. Life’s about breaking through those barriers within ourselves. Let this be a defining moment for you. It’s okay to be scared, but don’t ever let it control you. Just think about it, alright?” He gives me a shrug then walks onto the platform and gets strapped in.

  “Are you scared?” I ask him, looking down again.

  “A little, but I’m excited, too,” he says, grinning at me. “You know what Neale Donald Walsch said?”

  “What?” I ask.

  “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” He gives me a wink then jumps off the ledge.

  I watch as he swings down, and I can’t help but think about what he said. Life is made up of moments. Moments that define you, change you, and test you. You choose these moments. And I am choosing this moment to let go. Not to overcome my fear, but at least face it head on. I walk up onto the platform with my hands shaking and tell Fernando I want to do it. He gets me strapped in and holds onto the back of my harness until the gate opens in front of me.

  “Squat down and jump when you’re ready,” he tells me. My whole body feels frozen but I grab onto the rope in front of me, saying a little prayer under my breath as I let myself fall.

  My silence doesn’t last long. I let out a loud scream as I swoop up back into the air. When I come back down, I start laughing as I swing back and forth.

  I hear hoots and hollers coming from below me. Andrey grabs onto my foot, slowing me to a stop.

  The second I get unclipped, I look up to see Adam with the biggest grin on his face. He is clapping for me, and I can’t help myself. I run and jump into his arms. He spins me around excitedly.

  “That was amazing, Camille! I can’t believe you actually did it.”

  “I know! I can’t believe I did it either,” I say with just as much excitement. But then I realize I’m wrapped up in Adam, and all of the Johnsons are smiling at us.

  Adam sets me back down and shows me what’s in his hand.

  “You were moving kind of fast, but I got a Polaroid of you jumping,” he says, smiling at the photo which came out surprisingly clear.

  “Thank you so much.” I hold the photo in my hand, knowing I will treasure it forever. It represents so much more than just a jump for me.

  I’m overwhelmed by emotion and pull Adam into a hug as tears fall from my eyes.

  “Are you alright?” he asks, concerned, his brows furrowing.

  “I’m perfect,” I say, smiling up at him. “I’m just so happy. Thank you so much for capturing that moment in a photo for me.”

  Adam

  After dinner, Camille and I walk up to our rooms.

  “I’m not really tired yet. Do you want to play cards for a little or something?” she asks.

  “Yeah, that sounds fun. But I need to
upload these photos first. I’ll come to your room once I’m done. Say about an hour?”

  “Sounds good. So what all do you have to do to them?”

  “Once I get them onto my computer, I note which ones are my favorites. Once I narrow it down, then I edit a few to send to Janet. I’ll go through all the rest once I get home.”

  “You’ve taken so many photos, I can’t even imagine how long the editing process will take. Even the photos I do at home take forever, and they’re just random stuff like my coffee, or the book I’m reading, or photos I take in the city.”

  “It does take a lot of time, but it is just as much a part of the creative process as taking the photo. I love seeing how editing can transform them,” I say, stopping outside my door.

  “I never thought of it like that. I figured it would be the boring part. Hey, speaking of cameras, do you have a Polaroid camera with you?” she asks.

  “No, the zip-lining guys let me borrow theirs. I got a lot of photos of you on my camera, but thought you’d love a fun keepsake.”

  She smiles broadly at me and says, “Thanks, Adam.”

  I only make it about thirty minutes. I rushed through the editing process and sent Janet the fewest number of photos I’ve sent of the trip so far. They were all of Camille, though, and showed a lot of emotion. I hop into the shower, throw on some fresh clothes, and even have time to shave.

  I see light shining out from under the door to her room. I knock.

  “Come in,” she tells me.

  When I open the door, I find her sitting with her back against the headboard, wearing her pink pajamas and painting her toes. Her dark, bouncy curls are pooled around her face and when she looks up at me, I see she’s wearing her glasses. I feel a lump form in my throat. She looks adorable.

  “What?” she asks, looking me over.

  I clear my throat. “Nothing. So, uh, you’re painting your toes?” I say, sounding like an idiot. Because it’s pretty obvious that she is.

  “I am. It’s called bubblegum pink.” She wiggles her toes, admiring them.

  “I like them.”

  “Hey, you shaved,” she says, grinning at me. “It looks good. Are you ready to get your butt whooped again?”

  I sit across from her at the foot of the bed, shuffling the deck.

  “So, can you believe we were at the organic farm this morning?” she asks me. “It feels like we were there a lifetime ago.”

  “We have been doing a lot, and our days feel so long. But it’s crazy how the time is flying by, too.”

  “I know,” she says, her smile quickly fading. “We have only, what, two full days left, right?”

  “Yeah, two days. Not sure how I feel about it.”

  “I know,” she says. She’s looking at me, but I can tell her mind is somewhere else.

  “So, what are you going to do once you get back home?” I ask as I deal the cards.

  “Hmm. I think the first thing I’m going to do is get myself a searing hot coffee then find a comfortable cafe corner and write my article.”

  “Are you nervous to write it?”

  “Not really. I write a lot of posts for my website, and I’ve been journaling each night and taking notes, so I really just have to rewrite them into a story. Janet may even decide she wants me to keep them broken down into days. I’m not sure.” She stops talking to arrange the cards in her hands. “Will you be coming to New York to meet with Janet, or are you going on another trip?” she asks, her eyes meeting mine.

  “Actually, no,” I say, feeling sad. “I’m headed back to London. I’m going to finish editing these photos and apply for more jobs. I think adding in these new ones will give my portfolio an edge.”

  “I hope they help you. It’s pretty cool that you want to help the environment through your photography.”

  “Thank you. Awareness is the first step. Photography is a unique platform to showcase the beauty the earth has to offer. Once people see the beauty of it, hopefully they will make the connection that we need to make changes individually and as a society to better live in harmony with the environment,” I say, probably ranting too much. I thought Camille’s eyes might glaze over, but they stay focused as I speak.

  “What type of changes? Like how could I, just one person, have an effect?”

  “Take recycling, for example. Recycling in and of itself is amazing. But it also forces you to look at how much you were throwing away before. Once you become aware, you might start examining why you had to purchase or consume those things in the first place. Could we maybe use glass jars instead of plastic bottles? Or buy locally and support local farmers who are stewards of the land? It doesn’t have to be a huge change to make a difference.”

  “Huh. I might have to look into this all more once I’m home. It’s like a challenge to see what I’m throwing away, or try to buy more local products instead of always going to the store. I could do a ton of videos on it.”

  I’m taken aback by her enthusiasm. It’s nice having someone really connect with what you are saying. A lot of times people look at me like I’m trying to preach to them, or get offended. But with Camille, she just lets it be a conversation. I can talk about the things I’m interested in, and she truly is interested.

  “That would be amazing.” I smile at her. “And you’re just one person and look at the following you already have online. You could make a huge difference because of your impact on so many people.”

  She gives me a grin. “You’re right. Maybe you can help me come up with some fun topics to share on my YouTube channel. Maybe once we’re back home we can FaceTime and come up with some ideas.”

  “I’d like that,” I say, my heart pounding in my chest.

  “Good. So are you ready to lose?” she asks with a twinkle in her eye.

  Camille

  After Adam leaves, I realize that I haven’t done my video yet today, so I grab my camera and press play.

  I sit there for a second not saying anything because I’m mesmerized by how happy I look in the preview screen.

  “Today is day six. In case you can’t tell by my smile, today was a great day. And it was because of Adam. Well, actually, because of me. How do I even explain it all? I live in New York. I have a nice life. I do the same things every day. Sure, I mix it up a little, but I’ve been living in my own little bubble. Which is funny because one of my favorite quotes is about life beginning at the end of your comfort zone. I thought that I was living on the edge when I tried soy milk in my latte instead of skim. Today I lived way outside of my comfort zone. I pushed myself to do things that scared me. And guess what? I am glad I did. I can’t imagine not having experienced what I did today. I’m sort of afraid of heights. If my friend stands too close to a glass railing at the mall, it freaks me out. I get this pit in my stomach and fear she’s going to fall. So it’s not that I’m afraid of heights. I have no problem flying in an airplane or going to the top of the Empire State Building, but I can’t imagine doing something like jumping out of an airplane, or zip-lining over thirty feet off the ground.

  “I almost bailed on the whole thing, but Adam got all bratty with me and told me I was a drama queen. It made me mad, which is funny, because now I can see that he was just pushing my buttons. He’d encouraged me to do it all day. And it worked. I went. At first, I was so scared I couldn’t even look, but when I opened my eyes, the view was incredible. I even saw a waterfall. So I did well on the rest of the zip-lines. But then we got to this thing at the end called the Tarzan swing, where you basically jump off the side of a cliff then swing back and forth. A lot of the people in our group chose not to do the swing. I almost didn’t do it.

  “When I first got here, Adam and I didn’t really get along. We got on each other’s nerves big time, I guess. But at some point I told him that quote. Today, when I said that I wouldn’t do the swing, he was so sweet. He told me that if I was really scared, I shouldn’t do it. But he also told me that I shouldn’t let my fear hold me back. That I should let i
t be a defining moment for me. Then he left me on the platform all by myself while he got strapped in. Just before he jumped, he winked at me and reminded me of that quote. And I knew I had to do it.” I hold up the Polaroid he took of me. “I don’t know if you can see this clearly, but Adam managed to capture the moment and gave this to me. This photo will be one of my most cherished souvenirs from this trip, because it will remind me of that moment forever.

  “I was so excited when I did it, I literally jumped into Adam’s arms. He was hugging me. And we had this moment. Oh, and I almost forgot. This morning, Adam almost told me he thought I was beautiful, but for some reason he stopped mid-sentence.” Tears form in my eyes. “But I think I know why. He lives in London. I’m in New York. And that could never work.”

  DAY SEVEN

  Camille

  I rub my eyes and sit up in bed, taking in the dark room and early morning silence. Last night Adam invited me to watch the sunrise with him. I’m looking forward to everything about today, from sunrise here to seeing the sunset at the hot springs. I get up and quickly throw on yoga pants, a tank top, and sandals. As I head out of my room, the sky is starting to just lighten. Sunrise is close.

  “Adam, hurry up!” I knock on his door. I hear his footsteps on the wooden floor and a second later his door opens.

  “Morning,” he says with a smile, handing me a paper cup filled with warm coffee.

  “Oh my goodness! When did you get this?” I ask as the beautiful aroma reaches my nose.

  “I went down to the dining area and snagged you one.”

  “Thank you. That was so thoughtful of you,” I say, unable to contain my grin as we make our way outside. Because that was so freaking sweet of him. “So where should we watch the sunrise?”

  “If we go up that hill over there,” he points to the one behind the hotel, “we should get a great view.”