Seek Me With All Your Heart

by Beth Wiseman

  PRAISE FOR BETH WISEMAN

  “Wiseman’s voice is consistently compassionate and her words flow smoothly.”

  — Publishers Weekly review of Seek Me

  With All Your Heart

  “In Seek Me With All Your Heart, Beth Wiseman offers readers a heartwarming story filled with complex characters and deep emotion. I instantly loved Emily and eagerly turned each page, anxious to learn more about her past—and what future the Lord had in store for her.”

  — Shelley Shepard Gray, best-selling

  author of the Seasons of Sugarcreek

  series

  “Wiseman has done it again! Beautifully compelling, Seek Me With All Your Heart, is a heart-warming story of faith, family, and renewal. Her characters and descriptions are captivating, bringing the story to life with the turn of every page.”

  — Amy Clipston, best-selling author of

  A Gift of Grace

  “Seek Me With All Your Heart by Beth Wiseman is a heart-stirring story of second chances and learning to trust God in difficult circumstances. You won’t want to miss the start to this new Amish series!”

  — Colleen Coble, best-selling author of

  The Lightkeeper’s Bride and the

  Rock Harbor series

  OTHER BOOKS BY BETH WISEMAN

  The Daughters of the Promise series

  Plain Paradise

  Plain Promise

  Plain Pursuit

  Plain Perfect

  Novellas found in:

  An Amish Christmas

  An Amish Gathering

  Seek Me

  With All Your Heart

  A Land of Canaan Novel

  Beth Wiseman

  © 2010 by Beth Wiseman

  All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

  Thomas Nelson books may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

  Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version.

  Scripture quotations marked NIV are from HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONALVERSION®. ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

  Publisher’s Note: This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. All characters are fictional, and any similarity to people living or dead is purely coincidental.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Wiseman, Beth, 1962–

  Seek me with all your heart : a land of Canaan novel / Beth Wiseman.

  p. cm. — (Land of Canaan ; 1)

  ISBN 978-1-59554-824-5 (pbk.)

  1. Amish—Fiction. 2. Colorado—Fiction. I. Title.

  PS3623.I83S44 2010

  813'.6—dc22

  2010033439

  Printed in the United States of America

  10 11 12 13 14 RRD 5 4 3 2 1

  To Natalie Hanemann

  Pennsylvania Dutch Glossary

  ab im kopp—off in the head

  Aamen—Amen

  ach—oh

  aenti—aunt

  boppli—baby or babies

  The Budget—a weekly newspaper serving Amish and Mennonite

  communities everywhere

  dumm—dumb

  daadi—grandfather

  daed—dad

  danki—thanks

  dochder—daughter

  Englisch—a non-Amish person

  fraa—wife

  Frehlicher Grischtdaag—Merry Christmas

  gut—good

  guder mariye—good morning

  hatt—hard

  haus—house

  kaffi—coffee

  kapp—prayer covering or cap

  kinner—children or grandchildren

  lieb—love

  maedel—girl

  mamm—mom

  mammi—grandmother

  mei—my

  mudder—mother

  nee—no

  onkel—uncle

  Ordnung—the written and unwritten rules of the Amish; the understood behavior by which the Amish are expected to live, passed down from generation to generation. Most Amish know the rules by heart.

  Pennsylvania Deitsch—Pennsylvania German, the language most commonly used by the Amish

  rumschpringe —running around period when a teenager turns sixteen years old

  schtinkich—stinks

  wunderbaar—wonderful

  ya—yes

  Contents

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  One

  EMILY STOOD BEHIND THE COUNTER OF HER FAMILY’S country store, watching as the tall man walked down each aisle, the top of his black felt hat visible above the gray metal shelving. First thing that morning, he’d strolled in and shot her a slow, easy smile, white teeth dazzling against bronzed skin. He moved slowly, sometimes glimpsing in her direction.

  Emily twisted the strings on her apron with both hands and tried to slow down her breathing. Her heart pulsed against her chest as she glanced out the window toward her family’s farmhouse in the distance. Where is Jacob? Her brother knew she didn’t like to be left alone in the store, and he’d promised to be right back.

  Their community was small, and all the members in the district knew each other, which was the only reason Emily agreed to work in the shop. But this Amish man was a stranger. And Amish or not, he was still a man.

  Emily jumped when the man rounded the bread aisle toting a box of noodles in one hand and a can in the other. With the back of one hand, he tipped back his hat so that sapphire blue eyes blazed down on her. As he approached the counter, Emily clung to her apron strings and took a step backward.

  “How come everything in this store is messed up?” Tiny lines creased his forehead as he held up a can of green beans with a large dent in one side. Then he held up the box of noodles. “And this looks like it’s been stepped on. It’s mashed on one side.” He dropped them on the counter, then folded his arms across his chest and waited for her to answer.

  He towered over her. Emily stared straight ahead, not looking him in the eye. The outline of his shoulders strained against a black jacket that was too small. Her bottom lip trembled as she turned her head to look out the window again. When she didn’t see any sign of Jacob, she turned back to face the stranger, who looked to be about her age—maybe nineteen or twenty—which didn’t make him any less threatening. His handsome looks could be a convenient cover up for what lay beneath. She knew he was not a married man since he didn’t have a beard covering his square jaw, and his dark hair was in need of a trim.

  He arched his brows, waiting for her to respond, looking anything but amused. Emily felt goose bumps on her arms, and chills began to run the length of her spine, even though Jacob had fired up the propane heaters long befo
re the shop opened that morning.

  “This is—is a salvage store.” Her fingers ached as she twisted the strings of her apron tighter. “We sell freight and warehouse damaged groceries.” She bit her lip, but didn’t take her eyes from him.

  “I can’t even find half the things on my list.” He shook his head as he stared at a white piece of paper. “What about milk and cheese?”

  “No, I’m sorry. We mostly have dry goods.”

  He threw his hands in the air. Emily thought his behavior was improper for an Amish man, but raw fear kept her mouth closed and her feet rooted to the floor.

  “Where am I supposed to get all this?” He turned the piece of paper around so she could see the list.

  Emily unwrapped the strings of her apron and slowly leaned her head forward. She tucked a loose strand of brown hair underneath her kapp.

  “What’d you do to your hand?”

  Emily glanced at her hand, and a blush filled her cheeks when she saw the red indentions around her fingers. She quickly dropped her hand to her side and ignored his comment. “You will have to go to Monte Vista for most of those things. People usually come here to save money, just to get a few things they know we’ll have for a lesser price.”

  “That’s a far drive by buggy in this snow.” He put both hands on the counter and hung his head for a few moments, then looked up as his mouth pulled into a sour grin. With an unsettling calmness, he leaned forward and said, “Just one more thing I can’t stand about this place.”

  Emily took two steps backward, which caused her to bump into the wall behind her. “Then leave,” she whispered as she cast her eyes down on her black shoes. She couldn’t believe she’d voiced the thought, and when she looked back up at him, the stranger’s eyes were glassed with anger.

  “Please don’t hurt me.” She clenched her eyes closed.

  DAVID COULDN’T BELIEVE what he’d heard. “What? Hurt you? What are you talkin’ about?” He’d never hurt anyone in his life. He walked around the counter and reached his hand out to her, but she cowered against the wall.

  “I’m sorry. Whatever I did, I’m sorry. Please, don’t cry.” He touched her arm, and she flinched as a tear rolled down her cheek. He pulled back and said softly, “Please. Don’t cry. Look . . .” He showed her his palms, then backed up and got on the other side of the counter. “I’m leaving. Don’t cry.”

  He rubbed his forehead for a moment and watched her trying to catch her breath to stop the tears from flowing. She swiped at her eyes and sniffled, then looked up at him. He noticed a scar above her left brow. A deep indentation that ran nearly to her hairline.

  The bell on the front door chimed, and David looked away from the woman and toward the sound. An Amish fellow around his own age stepped inside. He glanced at David, then took one look at the woman against the wall and hastily rushed over to her. He brushed past David, almost pushing him, and touched the woman on the arm.

  “Are you all right?”

  “I didn’t do anything, I promise.” David watched the young man wrap his arm around her and whisper something in her ear. “I mean, I guess I acted like a jerk, but I never meant to . . .”

  The fellow waved a hand at him and shook his head before turning his attention back to her. “Go on back to the haus.”

  David’s eyes followed the young woman as she scurried out the door, her chin tucked. Through the window, he saw her trudge through the snow toward a white house on the other side of a picket fence, her brown dress slapping at her shins as she hugged herself tightly. David pointed to a black wrap hanging on a rack by the door. “She forgot her cape,” he said and looked out of the window again. He wondered what exactly had just happened.

  “I’m Jacob.” The man walked closer and extended his hand to David, who forced a smile.

  “I’m David, and I’m real sorry. I came in here in a bad mood, and I guess I must have scared her or something.” He dropped his hand and shook his head. “But I sure didn’t mean to. Really. I’m just real sorry.”

  Jacob peeled off a snow-speckled black coat, walked to the rack, and hung it beside the forgotten cape. He turned to face David. “It’s not you. My sister just gets like that sometimes. I try not to leave her alone, but I heard one of the horses in the barn kicking at the stall, and I was gone longer than I should have been.”

  “Is she . . .” David wasn’t sure how to ask. “Ab im kopp?”

  Jacob chuckled. “sion grew serious. “She’s justNee, she ain’t off in the head.” His expres . . . I reckon she’s just going through a hatt time right now.”

  The bell on the door chimed again, and David saw a small girl enter. She was bundled in a black bonnet and cape and was breathing hard. “Are you the one who made Emily cry?” She thrust her hands on her hips and drew her mouth into a frown. David opened his mouth to answer, but Jacob cut in.

  “Betsy, what are you doing out here? You’re supposed to be helping Mamm get those jams labeled so she can carry them to Abby’s bakery later. Does she know you ran over here?”

  The child untied the strings of her bonnet, pulled it off, then tucked loose strands of blonde hair beneath her kapp. “I reckon this is more important.” She folded her small arms across her chest as her hazel eyes bored into David. “What did you do to Emily?”

  “Betsy, he didn’t do nothing. Now, get on back in the house.” Jacob stacked papers on top of the counter, dismissing the child.

  Betsy walked to David, her hands landing back on her tiny hips. She squinted her eyes and pursed her lips together. “I want you to know that if your behavior instigated this outpouring of emotion from my sister, it would be best for you not to visit us here again.” She nodded her head once, but David was too stunned to say anything. The women in this family are crazy.

  “Just pretend she’s not here,” Jacob said as he walked to the girl. He gently grabbed her by the arm and led her to the door. He pulled the door open. “Put your bonnet on and go home, Betsy.”

  Betsy stood in the doorway as snow powdered her black cape and the threshold of the shop. She plopped her bonnet back on her head, tied it, then lifted her chin. “I will be going back to tend to Emily, and I suspect you should be heading to your own haus.” She spun around and slammed the door behind her.

  David cocked his head to one side and watched Betsy from the window. “How old is she?”

  “Seven.” Jacob shrugged, then sighed. “And a handful.”

  David scratched his chin and finally pulled his gaze from the window. “I have a sister who is seven, but she doesn’t talk like that.” He paused. “I don’t know many Amish folks who talk like that, even us older ones.”

  “Ya, Betsy is special. She’s a real pain most of the time, but Mamm and Daed let some Englisch people give her some tests, and they said she’s what they call gifted.” Jacob pushed a button on the cash register, and the drawer swung open. He filled the slots with bills as they talked. “Betsy’s been reading since way before other kinner her age. I reckon she thinks she knows everything.” He chuckled. “Sometimes I think she does, too, using them big words and all. She does math real gut too.”

  David nodded. “Oh.”

  Jacob slammed the cash drawer shut, then smiled. “In case you were wondering, mei mamm is normal.”

  David laughed. “Gut to know. Are those your only siblings?”

  “No. I got a younger bruder, Levi. But he works with mei daed doing construction and installing solar panels.”

  David had noticed that lots of the Amish homes in Canaan used solar panels, something you didn’t see a lot of in Lancaster County. “How’d your daed and bruder get into that?”

  “Daed knew he was going to need to find an outside job here since farming is going to be a challenge, at least in the beginning.” Jacob shook his head. “Can’t believe that there’s only three months of frost-free weather here.” He paused with a sigh. “Anyway, Daed planned ahead and learned about these solar panels before we moved here.”

  Dav
id nodded again as he considered whether or not his family might benefit from solar panels.

  “And me and Emily take care of the shop, and ’course Mamm has the house to tend to . . . and Betsy, which is a fulltime job when she ain’t in school.” Jacob scratched his forehead.

  “What ’bout you? Where’d you come from? I haven’t seen you around here.”

  David sighed. “We moved here. Yesterday. We’re not even unpacked, but my stepmother wanted me to pick up a few things.”

  “You don’t sound happy about this move.” Jacob sat down on a stool behind the counter and eyed David skeptically.

  “I’m not, really. I mean, my whole family and everything I’ve ever known is in Lancaster County. In Pennsylvania. My great grandfather left us some land, so we moved.” David shook his head. “Although . . . I reckon I don’t know why. This is nothing like Lancaster County. It’s—” He stopped when he realized he might offend Jacob if he went on.

  “It’s all right.” Jacob took off his hat and ran a hand through wavy brown hair. “You ain’t tellin’ me anything I don’t know. We moved here from Middlefield, Ohio, three months ago. It’s real different here for us too.”

  “What made your family move?”

  Jacob shrugged. “Needed a change.” He pulled his eyes from David’s and his forehead wrinkled as he went on. “And Levi’s got asthma. The weather is better here for him. Less mold, which seems to trigger it.”

  David suspected there was more to it than that, but he just nodded.

  “Lillian, my stepmother, was wondering where the school is for my sister. I have two sisters, but only Anna is old enough to go to school. She’s the one who’s the same age as Betsy. Elizabeth is almost five, so she won’t start until next year.”

  Jacob grunted. “There ain’t no schoolhouse. Hoping to build one soon, though. Right now, the young ones are getting their schooling from Emma Miller, the widow around the corner.” Jacob pointed to his right. “Big blue house on the next road to the right. She teaches them in the barn.”

  “In the barn?”

  “Ya. She’s got a gut setup out in her barn. All the young scholars have their own desk, and it’s all heated with propane. It’s just until we can get the school built. Widow Miller is sick; otherwise Betsy would be in school today.” Jacob chuckled. “Bet Mamm is hoping she gets well real soon.”