Phoenix Rockstar (Book One in the Erotic Rockstar Series)

by Botefuhr, Bec

  “You have stooped Violet; I thought you grew up.”

  “Don’t you lecture me about stooping Dan, I cared about you and you cheated on me and broke my heart.”

  “I made a mistake, the biggest of my life. I still love you Vi.”

  “Stop, right there…I don’t want to hear it.”

  “Violet, just let me talk with you please.”

  His eyes are pleading, and it tugs at that broken part of my heart.

  “I can’t do this right now; don’t contact me or speak with me again.”

  I rush away from him and out the front of the shop. Travis is gone, and I dread what I will walk into when I get back to his house. All my ideas and fears are wrong; Travis is standing at the bench making salad subs. Ok, so maybe he knew he was over reacting and just got over it? I step in and walk over next to him; he doesn’t look at me.

  “Trav…”

  He doesn’t speak. Uh oh, this is far worse than I could have imagined. He is silent and silent means beyond furious.

  “Trav, I didn’t know he would be there.”

  He spins towards me. “Do you still want him?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Are you going to see him?”

  “I don’t…know.”

  “You are mine Violet.” He growls.

  “Trav, it’s complicated and…”

  “Mine.” He rasps, gripping my face and bringing his lips down on my so forcefully I bite my lip.

  I tangle my hands through his hair, as desperate as he is to confirm these feelings between us. The feelings neither of us want to admit are there. He grips my pants and yanks them down, then deposits my bottom onto the bench. He releases himself just enough so he can fuck me on the bench. He angrily shoves on a condom. When he presses inside me, I groan and thrash. He plunges deeply, growling at the intense pleasure.

  “Trav…please.” I beg.

  He slams harder, faster until the bench creaks beneath us. He explodes before I get the chance to, bellowing my name. He pulls out and yanks up his jeans with a curse. I stare, my eyes wide, tears tumbling down my cheeks. He looks at me, then grips his head and growls.

  “Fuck…why do you test me like that?” He snaps, walking out of the room.

  I should walk away; I need to walk away. Travis will break my heart, or worse; I will break his. We are opposites and yet the attraction is intense between us, so strong it tugs at my heart strings. I have never wanted anything in my entire existence the way I want Travis Phoenix, and I know, know deep down in my soul that he will either make…or break me.

  I find him sitting on the deck, staring out at the city. I sit beside him and open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. What can I say to him? I don’t think anything in this moment will make it better. He is hurting, and I don’t know how to comfort him. Then I remember something, a song I used to sing to him when we were younger. Anytime he was mad at me, and I couldn’t work out how to say sorry; I would sing it. I open my mouth and start singing.

  The grey ceiling on the earth well it’s lasted for a while,

  Take my thoughts for what their worth, I’ve been acting like a child.

  Your opinion, what is that? It’s just a different point of view.

  What else, what else can I do? I said I’m sorry, yeah I’m sorry

  I said I’m sorry but what for, if I hurt you then I hate myself.

  I don’t wanna hate myself, don’t wanna hurt you…

  Why do you choose your pain, if you only knew, how much I love you…

  Love you…

  He turns to me, and his eyes are glassy and red. He strokes my cheeks and pulls me onto his lap.

  “You are my life Violet, my soul, my heart. My world changed the day you were born, and it will never be the same again.”

  I snuggle into his chest, and continue singing; he begins humming along with me.

  I won’t be your winter; I won’t be anyone’s excuse to cry.

  We can be forgiven, ohh yeah.

  And I will be here….

  ~*~*~*~*

  “He was so mad at me Momma.” I sigh, sitting on the kitchen table and staring at my mother baking cookies.

  “Trav has always been a little crazy when it comes to you honey; he was just jealous.”

  “I hesitated, and I don’t know why. I should have told Dan to screw off, but I sent Trav away and listened to him.”

  “Look, you and Dan were together a while, and he broke your heart. It’s not un natural to have some softness towards him.”

  “I suppose.”

  “You two will be fine; you just need to be honest with him.”

  “He asked about Lil the other day.” I whisper.

  She stops and stares at me. “What did you say?”

  “I said she died.”

  “You didn’t tell him why?”

  “No, I couldn’t. If he hated me, I couldn’t bear it.”

  “Oh honey, Trav would never hate you. He loves you.”

  “Do you think I should tell him?”

  “I think honesty is a must, I think you should tell him everything because only then will you know if what you have is real.”

  I nod, swallowing and knowing she is right. I have to tell him; I have no choice. To gain trust and friendship alone, we have to be honest…the love part will take so much more. I open my phone and glance down at the text message he sent me yesterday after I left.

  Mischief, I am sorry. I keep doing this to you, and I know it’s not helping. I can’t imagine my world without you in it right now, you have attached yourself to my very core, and I need you.

  I reply.

  Trav, can we meet? We have to talk.

  Name the time and place.

  The cafe next to your house, now?

  I will be there.

  I say goodbye to mom, then make my way to the cafe. Travis is already waiting for me, looking gorgeous in his grey shirt and blue jeans. He stands when I reach him and reaches out for my hand.

  “Hey beautiful.”

  “Trav, I have something’s I need to say before we go any further.”

  He nods and sits down. I swallow and then begin speaking.

  “I haven’t given enough to you, and it’s likely my fault. I have lived a long time being this person; I have forgotten who I was. I have to be honest with you Trav, you scare me, but I want this as much as I want you. To get past it, I have to tell you something’s about my life in the past four years as you know, so you can make the choice…”

  “It won’t change the fact that I want you.”

  “Just let me tell you, and then you can decide that. You remember how close Lillian and I were? Well we remained that way until three years ago. One day, we were out swimming at a lake, and there were storms around, but it didn’t stop us. Lillian was hesitant; the storm was closing in, and she was hesitant. I teased her, saying what a sook she was and how she didn’t live…She was hurt, and she dived into the water, to prove me wrong. The lightening hit, I didn’t see it coming…I didn’t even realize she was hurt until…until…”

  “Hey, shhh.”

  “I saw her head resurface, and it wasn’t attached to her body. It cut her head clean off because it was the only part of her body out of the water. They told me it is because the lightening sends a current along the water top; that cuts like a knife. It was my fault; I picked on her, teased her when she was unsure, and she got in and died because of me.”

  I am sobbing now, and Travis has moved around the table to hold me in his arms.

  “It wasn’t your fault.”

  “It was my fault Trav, and I have learnt to live with that. I became secluded, scared of everything. I stopped living; every time I had fun all I could think about was how I taunted her for not living and having fun, so I stopped doing it myself. Like a punishment, or so my shrink said. Anyway, after the accident her brother grew a hate against me. He blamed me, told me it was my fault for changing her and trying to make her rebel agains
t the world like I did. He went a bit crazy; Jeremy was her twin brother and they were close.”

  “What happened with him?”

  “Well, I saw him one night, out on the town. I was wild by then; it had only been a month and I was drinking myself into a stupor. He beat me so badly I nearly died.”

  Travis clenches around me and hisses through his teeth.

  “He got charged, and I went into hiding. I didn’t hear from him again…”

  “That is why you didn’t want your name in the paper.”

  “Yes, but it didn’t work. Trav, he came into the firm the other day, and he is putting a manslaughter case against me, he wants me locked up. He is trying to claim that I forced her into that water and killed her.”

  “He what?” Travis’s voice is icy.

  “He came back.”

  “You didn’t tell me.” He snaps, glaring at me.

  “I didn’t know how.”

  “Give me all the details on that case; I am going to fight this for you.”

  “How Trav? You can’t have the resources to do that.”

  “I will get the resources. I know good lawyers.”

  “Sally had to take on his case, she wants to so she can keep him close. She is worried for me.”

  “That’s a conflict of interest Violet, and it will have to stop.”

  I sigh. “I know. I am scared Trav.”

  “From now on, I am putting security with you wherever you go. That creep isn’t getting anywhere near you.”

  “That’s not what I want!” I cry.

  He grips my chin. “Violet, don’t fight me on this because you WILL lose.”

  “Trav.”

  He kisses me.

  “Your life, you, it has all become so much to me. My world changed when you came into it Violet, and I won’t lose you.”

  His words burrow right into my soul. What can I say? Nothing. I simply step forward and lean into his chest.

  CHAPTER 10

  “Mom, I am staying at Reagan’s tonight and tomorrow night.” I yell out from my room as I pack.

  “Alright baby, have you spoken to your father and told him you won’t be coming?”

  “I will drop by on my way to Reagan’s.”

  She comes into my room and leans her hip against the door.

  “He has been very kind to me since I slapped him a million times.”

  “It wasn’t his fault Momma, that man was crazy.”

  “And that is the world he is in; bad people go after his family to get back at him. It worries me honey.”

  “I know mom, but what will you have me do? I can’t just get rid of him and pretend he isn’t my father.”

  She sighs. “I know that angel, I know. Look, just be careful. Carry that gun he gave you, please.”

  I laugh. “Be careful but carry a gun.”

  “Just looking out for you honey.”

  “Alright Momma, I love you and I will call over the weekend.”

  “Alright baby.”

  I finish packing and then drive over to daddy’s to let him know I won’t be there at all this weekend. The house is quiet, but the garage lights are on so I walk in. What I see reminds me hard and fast about the world Chief lives in. A man, I don’t know who, I strung up with a hook in his back. His mouth is gagged, and he is being tortured in ways I do not wish to explain. I feel bile rise in my throat. Chief sees me and his eyes widen, he snaps his fingers and the torturing stops instantly. I turn and rush out.

  “Hey Mischief, wait…”

  He grips my arm when I reach my car and spins me around.

  “Daddy what were you doing in there?” I cry, covering my face with my hands.

  “He has information about Demon, I am sorry you had to see that baby, but you know it’s what we do.”

  “And you judge me about people I want to see!” I scream. “When you are a monster yourself!”

  “That’s exactly why,” He bellows. “Because I fuckin know what can happen to you.”

  “I am going, I came to say I wouldn’t be here this weekend, and I am glad I did now.”

  “Mischief, don’t you fucking walk away while I am talking with you.”

  “Back off!”

  I get in the car and slam the door, hitting the accelerator hard and fast. I cry all the way to Reagan’s house, and after telling her what happened, she sits with me while I cry. God, what the hell kind of shit do I live in?

  ~*~*~*~*

  “Holy sweet lord, check this plane!” I cry, leaping up and down next to Reagan.

  Travis laughs at us, and so do his band members. The only one who isn’t laughing is the snot nosed receptionist.

  “Why did she come again?” I ask Trav, glaring at her.

  “She is seeing Marcus, though I am fairly sure it is a ploy to get to me. He wanted to bring her.”

  “She better watch her back.” I snap.

  He laughs and shoves me down onto the seat. “Behave my little ball of fury.”

  I giggle and slide onto the large leather seat, sighing. Reagan plops down beside me and pulls me close.

  “Who is the hotty staring at Trav?”

  I glare at her. “Hotty?”

  “She is a hotty, you are much more so though. So spill…”

  “His receptionist, she is mad about him.”

  “Well that isn’t half obvious!”

  I laugh. “Her name is Janice.”

  “Janice has stalker tendencies.”

  “I hope you two are behaving.” Trav says as he walks past, giving me a wicked grin.

  “Yes boss, we are.”

  He laughs and disappears down the back.

  “I can’t get enough of him, you are going to have to live with the fact that I am crazy about your boyfriend, and I have wicked sex dreams about him.”

  I shove her with a retarded sounding giggle.

  “I can help with those dreams, I could give you just a touch of an idea what he is like in bed.”

  “Do tell, I need some more visuals.”

  “Well, he has this, god this body and his…you know is huge. He loves it rough, he loves it slow, and he loves to kiss everything.”

  I hear a gasp behind me and Janice stands, storming down the back of the plane. Reagan and I burst out laughing, and she shoves me.

  “Keep going, I must know more…”

  “Yes, please do.”

  I spin around to see Trav leaning against the seat behind us grinning. My cheeks flame and Reagan sputters her drink.

  “Can we have a little word angel?”

  I grin up at him and stand; I follow him down into the back room of the plane. It is tiny, but enough for two people to sit, just. He shuts the door behind him and then slams me against the wall.

  “You ought to be careful talking about me like that.”

  “W-Why?” I whisper.

  “Coz it makes me crazy hard.”

  He thrusts his hips against my pelvis, and I groan.

  “There’s no room.”

  “We make room.”

  He grips my hips and spins me around, shoving the front of my body into a small gap. My bottom is the only thing hanging out. Travis grips my dress and slowly inches it up, leaning down to kiss my backside as he does.

  “You are beautiful here.”

  I practically purr.

  He slides my panties down, kissing right down my legs. When he is free of his pants, I hear the crackling of a condom packet, then he is inside me so deep and beautiful. I grip my arms; I am so squashed in this space but nothing matters. His hand touches the top of my neck and slowly drags down my back, causing me to shiver. He thrusts his hips, not hard because he doesn’t have the room, but that’s ok because I don’t mind it slow like this.

  “Travis, I need you, need you so bad.” I whimper in ecstasy.

  “God baby, you…”

  A knock sounds on the door.

  “Trav?”

  It’s Marcus.

  “Marcus fuck off man.”


  “Are you getting laid in there?” He yells out so loudly the whole plane would have undoubtedly heard.

  “Dude! Fuck off!”

  “Travis is getting laid in the fucking closet! Woooo!”

  I flush and groan. “Oh my god.”

  “Baby I can’t stop.”

  “Don’t…don’t stop.”

  He slides in and out faster as if he doesn’t care if anyone can hear. I am building higher and higher; Trav reaches down to stroke my clit, slowly thumbing it until I explode around him. I shudder and cry out as my orgasm racks me. Travis isn’t far behind, and he grates out my name as he pumps his seed into me over and over. When he pulls out and gets me standing straight, I am a little dizzy.

  “You dizzy?”

  “A little.”

  “Come on, it’s stuffy in here.”

  He does up his pants and ties the condom, then helps me with my panties. When we are straightened up, we come out and everyone cheers. I feel my cheeks blazing as they all clap and pat Trav on the back. He laughs, like he always does, and helps me back to my seat. We all sit chatting for the hours that the flight takes. At one point, the boys pull out their guitars. I notice that Reagan is cozying up against Harley. I give her a wink; he is uber hot.

  “What would the lovely ladies like us to sing?”

  “Sweet home Alabama.” I cry out, slightly under the weather from all the cocktails the air hostess has been feeding me.

  “Anything for my lady.”

  I notice Janice glower. In your face psycho. The men begin playing, and me and Reagan sing along at the top of our lungs.

  “Big wheels keep on turning…”

  When the boys join in, I conclude that we all sound super wicked singing together.

  “Take it away Vi.” Trav sings, strumming his guitar and winking at me.

  “Sweet home Alabama…” I sing, while he strums the chords.

  By the time the song is over, we are all laughing.

  “You should join the band!” Harley laughs. “You rock!”

  “I know right?” I grin.

  “My girl rocks!” Trav grins, kissing me quickly.

  “Sing me something rockstar; blow my heart strings to pieces.”

  He winks at me, and begins strumming lightly on his guitar. When he starts singing the song he sang me on the beach that night, he really does blow my heart strings to pieces. It was beautiful then, but with the music it has the whole plane going silent and staring in awe. It takes you to another moment, another place; you forget who is around when Travis sings like that.