SAUL

by Claire St. Rose

  Preston was right: It was a rush. Mastery or not, she felt fantastic, and a world of possibilities was opened up for her to explore.

  Kim and Yvette came into the garage from the attached kitchen door. “Are you two done killing — wow! Preston! I have never seen you so wiped out before.”

  “She’s an animal! She just kept killing me and killing me. It was wonderful,” he laughed.

  Kim smiled, but she couldn’t find the humor her husband felt at being killed over and over, or understand how good it felt to him.

  Yvette was galvanized by his tanned, perfectly formed, nearly naked, sweaty body. The poor thing looked like a doe in the headlights of an oncoming truck.

  “You two want a snack or something?” Kim asked.

  “No, thank you,” Bev told her. “I think we are done for now. I know I’ve never been this wiped out before. I want a long bath and a short nap.”

  They tentatively scheduled to meet next Friday at the same time.

  “Come a little earlier,” Kim offered. “That way you can relax a little after lunch before beating up my husband again.”

  As soon as they were back, Bev got out of her clothes and into the bath. She purred in the hot water.

  Yvette knocked lightly on the door. “You done yet? Can I come in?”

  “Done what?”

  “Rubbing one out,” she giggled.

  Bev laughed. “Come in here, brat.”

  Yvette came in and sat down on the back edge of the tub. “So you really had a good time, I guess.”

  “Yes, a very good time. I was seriously nervous, though. After watching those vids of him on YouTube, shit.”

  Yvette put her hands on Bev’s shoulders and began to massage the tired and tense muscles. And damn that felt good. Bev sighed and positioned herself to give Yvette better access to her shoulders and back.

  Yvette’s hands worked her deeply and soothed out aches Bev had already accepted as ones that were going to be painfully sore in the morning. When she worked her fingers into Bev’s neck muscles, Bev moaned with pleasure.

  After perhaps fifteen minutes of this, Bev was in deep, relaxed pleasure.

  “Bev?”

  “Yes?”

  “Are you into girls at all?”

  Bev sighed sadly. “I really wish I was now.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I can hear in your voice that you are, and I know it’s been awhile for you. I could tell a couple weeks after we met that you weren’t really getting any with Crash, and if you were, it was of the quickie variety.”

  “It’s been nearly two years,” Yvette agreed. “He came out of prison and we fucked like rabbits, of course. He couldn’t get enough of me. It was like we were kids again. I even had to begin using lube because he would take me four or five times a day. But then he started using meth, and that made his dick soft. He could still get off if I sucked him long enough, and that was alright for a while, because rubbing myself while sucking on him, even soft, was still a good encounter for me. But then he really started using a lot of meth; shooting it, smoking it. He just lost interest in sex. It just wasn’t something that was an urge for him.”

  “Yeah, I figured it was something like that, and I know that solo rubbing isn’t really all that fulfilling. At least for me it’s not. It helps, but it never fulfills. So, yes, now that I know you are into women, I do — really — wish I was, because I know you’re hurting. But I’m not, sorry.”

  “Should I stop massaging you then?”

  “God, no,” Bev laughed. “You’ve been with Crash for so long. Does that mean you had girl lovers while you were with him?”

  “I had one, a long time ago. I think Crash and I had been together for maybe two years then. See, I lost my virginity to a woman, and I didn’t have sex with a man until Crash. He was my first. After a couple of years with him, I began to wonder if I was missing something. So I had this girl on the side for a long time. Crash never suspected anything because I never told him about me and girls. I knew the kind of porn he liked to watch, and I knew I wasn’t sharing him with any other girl. That shit was not going to happen. I could have done it with, like, Kim and Preston, because Preston isn’t mine, but not with my man. No. Sounds fucked up, but that’s the way of it.”

  “So, what happened?”

  “Well, Lucy, that was her name, got tired of sneaking around and being my back-door girl. She found a lover who would hold her hand in public and who she could spend the night with, and she told me it was over. It hurt. It hurt a lot, because she was right, and she did deserve those things. She was a great woman. After that, I decided that, yes, maybe I was missing something, but sneaking around wasn’t going to give it to me, and I still loved Crash, so I never looked for another lover.”

  Bev didn’t know what to say to that, so she just melted into Yvette’s wonderful hands and soaked up the remaining heat of the bath. It was almost time to get out, because the water was cooling fast now.

  “Bev?”

  “Yes?”

  “Could you, um, hold me?”

  “You mean, while you took care of yourself?”

  “Yes. Does that freak you out?”

  “No, no, not at all, and sure. I could do that.”

  They spent most of the evening together, talking and just being close. Bev knew after an hour that this was never going to be something she would get into, but Yvette looked and felt so much better at that point, she decided that if this was as far as she had to go to see her friend’s eyes sparkle again, then this was fine. She could go this far. Caresses, light kisses, a little fondling. Yvette took care of the rest, and she was obviously deeply satisfied with the releases she was experiencing.

  What it did do, though, was make Bev’s need for Leo a lot stronger. Listening to and feeling Yvette getting off against her — and she really had some serious sex music going on — didn’t make Yvette more attractive, but it sure made Bev want to be fucked.

  After the third hour, most of which was spent talking and laughing because Yvette was so close to being herself again, and she was funny as hell, Bev’s belief in her sexuality was even more confirmed. Part of her really did wish she could get into this and be a lover for Yvette, but being a comfort was going to be all she had to offer.

  Chapter Twenty Nine

  Monday morning, Bev woke up entangled with Yvette, which felt good and warm.

  Yvette’s eyes opened and looked at her across the pillow. “Hey,” she greeted Bev.

  “Hey,” Bev returned with a smile.

  “You should go see Leo today if he is around,” Yvette told her.

  Bev didn’t bother with questions like “hy.” She was so brutally in need, it had to be pulsing above her in neon: “Fuck me, Fuck me.”

  “You wouldn’t mind? Maybe someone like Kim could come over this afternoon.”

  “I think I can manage. Being with you helped a lot. It took a lot of the fear out of it for me.”

  “Fear of being alone?”

  “Fear of always being alone. Fear of never finding love again. That with Crash gone, my chances were over for things like kids, or a real house or any of that stuff. Things I always thought I would have with Crash, but always seemed to be further away the longer we were together.”

  “Being with me did that? Baby—”

  “I’m not getting all lezzy with you,” Yvette laughed. “It’s just, well, you aren’t into it, but you love me enough to give what you can, and Bev, that’s more than enough. It’s like mainlining hope. The fear is just not there anymore. I can feel that someday, probably not soon, but someday, someone will love me again, and I’ll be able to love them.”

  Bev nodded. “Good. That’s real good, because it is so fucking true. Seriously, if I was going to lez-out, it would be with you or no one.”

  “But you’re not,” Yvette said with a heavy sigh, “because you love Leo’s cock too much.”

  “Brat!”

  “Slut!”

  Bev kiss
ed her nose. “But you’re right. He really does do it for me. So, how do you feel about me taking you up to the club? It might be good just to be out with friends again,” Bev suggested.

  “The wake was good,” Yvette mused. “It really was. Have you talked much to Austin?”

  “I know who he is, but no, not really. Leo seemed to like him after talking to him once.”

  “He’s … refreshing,” Yvette said.

  “Not exactly a Greek god,” Bev teased.

  “No,” Yvette said seriously, “but a real man, though. I think if I wasn’t in so much pain at the time, and trying to hide it, I might have wound up necking with him in the parking lot.”

  “Really!” Bev said with surprise.

  Yvette nodded seriously. “I don’t know how or why, but he cut through all the pain and hurt and fear and that whole tarball of black emotions. He cut through all that and gave me glimpses of daylight. Blue sky.”

  “He was trying to pick up on you at the wake?” Bev asked.

  “No, no, nothing like that. In fact, he probably didn’t feel the connection at all, not like I did. It certainly was confusing for me, because, well, shit, I’m at Crash’s wake for crying out loud, and feeling this connection with Austin? But no, he was a perfect gentleman. He talked about his sister, and his mom back in Arkansas. Said he was going to ride back there next month to visit with them. He talked about getting back in shape, and his depression after coming back from the war.”

  “Doesn’t sound like upbeat subjects to me,” Bev said.

  Yvette rolled back onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. “That’s just it. They weren’t, really, but he was so upbeat, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t quite put together him and his depression. It was like he was describing a completely different man. And his energy was contagious.”

  “Maybe I should get to know him,” Bev mused.

  “Do anything more than that with him, and I’ll stick you with a pin,” Yvette said with a smile.

  “Wow, jealously already?”

  “Terrible, isn’t it?” she laughed. “I’m such a bitch. I just know some little flossy is going to snatch him up before I can get my shit together enough to even date him,” Yvette said. She tried to make it a joke, but Bev saw it wasn’t a joke at all.

  “Kinda young, though, isn’t he?”

  “He’s something like twenty-seven or twenty-eight. I’m only thirty! I’m not an old hag.”

  “Damn straight you aren’t,” thirty-year-old Bev agreed.

  When she called, Leo said he was at home all day and was dying to see her. He hadn’t called yesterday because of the funeral. He figured she would be mother-hening Yvette all day. He was right about that, though wasn’t sure “mother-hening” was the right term for what they were doing together. But Leo didn’t need to be burdened with that sort of information — she wasn’t sharing him with any other woman, either. She and Yvette were perfectly in tune with each other on that subject.

  So at noon, Bev gave Yvette a $100 in fun money, forbidding any argument about it, and then added three hundred for rent and food. “We’re roomies, and I’m guessing that Crash didn’t leave you with much.”

  She nodded and looked at her hands. “Nothing, in fact. I think we have like forty in the bank, nothing in savings. He owned half the shop, but we weren’t legally married, so I doubt I’ll see anything from that.”

  “You were with him for over ten years, Yvette. I’ll bet common law would say you were his legal wife. Let’s call Jay,” Bev said.

  Jay agreed. He said he would meet Yvette up at the club around four, have dinner with her, and then go over her story. But yes, common law should provide her with the rights to his estate if he didn’t have a will, which Yvette was sure he didn’t.

  “He could have had something in his filing shit boxes, but I doubt it.” Yvette sighed.

  Bev gave her a hug and said, “Well, bottom line, for the next couple of months money isn’t an issue for you, alright? Seriously. I have savings and good money coming in, and I really am all fucked up about sleeping at my house right now. Maybe you could help me clean it up and set it right again someday.”

  “You know I will,” Yvette told her. “Any day you are ready, just tell me that’s what we’re doing and that’s what we’re doing.”

  Bev smiled, kissed her, and grabbed her ass. “You would make a damn good wife,” she told her, giving her lusty eyes.

  “Damn straight I would,” Yvette agreed, then they both giggled and got themselves ready to go.

  After dropping Yvette off at the club close to one o’clock, Bev headed straight to Leo’s house, only giving her own house a glance as she passed by.

  She ran up the stairs and nearly collided with Leo. He whisked her up into the air and spun her around, her legs flying out behind her.

  Her first kiss was greedy and needy, and Leo poured the same right back into her. She felt his hunger for her, and it felt so good. “I’m going to be naked the entire time I’m here,” she informed him as he led her inside.

  “Then I’m a blessed man,” he said with a smile as she shrugged off her jacket and hung it on a peg beside the door. “But before you get completely naked, here, put this in your saddle bags so you don’t forget it.”

  He handed her a black case. It was close to lunch box size and looked similar to a gun case.

  “What’s this?”

  “Twenty grand. I want you to dole that out to Yvette as she needs it. Maybe get her a new car or something so she can get around. Let her think she can pay you back some day if that makes it easier for her to accept,” he said.

  “Wow, Leo. Um, this is a lot of money,” she said, looking at the stacks of bills inside.

  “A bonus I got on Friday for giving him two ideas on how to better launder his money,” he explained.

  “I know that the club took up a collection for her at the wake,” Bev told him. “She doesn’t know about that yet. They’re going to give it to her tomorrow night, after the business meeting. I’m sure it will be at least a couple grand. Maybe it would be better if we just added this to that money, and then she could take it guilt free.”

  “Yes, that’s a really good idea. Take it with you when you go to pick her up and get that to Danny then, or Hugo, or whoever is collecting the funds.”

  “I think Preston got tasked with holding the money, but I’ll get it to him,” she agreed.

  “Speaking of Preston, how was your time with him?”

  “Hold that thought, I’m going to take this out so I can start getting naked,” she giggled.

  “Just mention the man’s name and you’re ripping your clothes off,” Leo teased.

  She stuck her tongue out at him over her shoulder as she hurried back out to her bike.

  Back in the kitchen with him, she started with her shirt. “You know what? It really does feel very natural to strip while thinking about him.”

  “I’ll tickle you until you pee if you don’t stop,” he warned.

  “Oh, well, just saying,” she offered humbly. “Anyway, I kicked his ass for almost an hour before he started getting the hang of knife fighting with me.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah! It was so fucking great. And you should have seen the look on his face every time I killed him. It was so innocent and confused and vulnerable. Fucking adorable is what it was, and just made me want to kill him again.”

  Leo lifted an eyebrow. “That was probably the most bloodthirsty statement I’ve ever heard in my life, darling.”

  She slapped playfully at his arm. “Stop it.” She started pulling off her boots. “Though he did mention that he had never been killed so many times on the mats in one session before. He was quite happy about it, too.”

  “I didn’t know you were going to spar with him. That must have been quite a treat, and certainly the first time I’ve heard of him doing something like that. He does workouts and training with the rough riders, of course, but I didn’t think he did one-on-one
stuff. How was the range?”

  She pulled off her pants and then wiggled out of her panties. “Awesome. And yes, he really is that good. Fuck!” Fully naked, she put her clothes on a chair by the door and said, “Now, if you don’t fuck me soon, I’m going to be very miffed.”

  Leo came at her so boldly and with such determination and strength in his eyes, she felt an adrenaline rush of fear and was ready to bolt. Before she could, he caught her, turned her, and pressed her face-first into the wall behind her. “Leo?!” she whimpered.