Heart of Darkness bbm-1

by Lauren Dane

  “Always happy to squire you around. But are you sure you have to go to the office? You work a lot, baby. Is that sustainable?” He kissed her forehead. It was nice to be worried over, made her all gooey inside.

  “It’s not usually this bad. I don’t usually go in on weekends or at night. It’s just that I’ve been a little … distracted this week.”

  He grinned. “Should I be sorry? Because I can’t really find it in my heart to regret all the time we’ve stolen this week.”

  She traced a thumb over his cheek. “You should talk about working all the time. You work more than I do.”

  “Yes, but darling, my work includes bringing you along when you’re indulgent enough to wear the little bits and bobs I give your way. This isn’t really work.”

  Little bits and bobs. He spoiled her utterly with gorgeous clothes she’d never had bought for herself in a million years, but she felt like a goddess when she wore them.

  “Giving me presents shouldn’t be. Though you know I don’t expect it.”

  “I find myself unable not to shower you with presents. I like making you happy.”

  “You do make me happy. I’ve never been so happy.”

  “Even though I haven’t done the ascension?”

  She took a deep breath, thinking it over. “Yes. Certainly I want that very much. But you’re here with me and that’s what matters most. The rest we can handle as it comes along.”

  “Even if it weakens your position in the clan?”

  “I already told you that was my mother spinning stories. She’s the only person who knows other than Nell and Gage so how can I be weakened unless she’s the one doing it?”

  “But will she?”

  “No. I can’t believe she would. Not as my mother and not as The Owen.” She sat, resting against the pillows and he settled, head in her lap.

  “Is that what they call her?”

  “It’s the official title of the leader of Clan Owen.”

  “It’s pretty epic.”

  He made everything better.

  It wasn’t that she’d never had a relationship before. There’d been boyfriends before. But nothing like this.

  “I think so too. I love your hair. So thick and soft.” She began to lightly knead and scratch his scalp until he groaned and relaxed totally, eyelids sliding closed.

  “Show me something,” he murmured.

  It delighted her the way he’d reacted to learning more about his magick.

  She moved to straddle him.

  “Or that. I’m always up for that. Though …” He paused and then grinned as he ground his reviving erection into her. “I was about to say something about how I wasn’t sure if all of me was up for that. But you continue to amaze me and my cock.”

  “Incorrigible. I meant this.” She touched his belly, the hard, flat muscle there. He was so delicious she frequently forgot what she was about to do or say when she caught sight of him.

  “You look like you’re about to take a big bite.”

  She sent a cockeyed smile and went back to his belly. “Give me your hands.”

  He did and she put hers around his, guiding his fingers.

  “Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Slowly. Then let it go.”

  He obeyed.

  “Your magick lives here.” She drew circles with his fingertips over the spot just above his belly button and her own magick stirred within. “Sometimes mine feels like a curled-up cat. Nose to tail. Know what I mean?”

  He smiled, his eyes still closed. “Yes. I see what you mean.”

  “You can reach out and stroke it. Coax it, bring it to the surface. Use your mind and connect with it.” His breath hitched and she knew he’d caught it and brought it closer to the surface.

  “When you get what we like to call a gut feeling, it’s oftentimes your magick flaring up in response to a perceived need.” She let go and moved back, watching him discover it himself.

  “That is wicked cool.” He opened his eyes, smiling up at her. “You’re smart, you know that?”

  She rolled off him, dipping down to kiss his lips before padding into the bathroom to brush her teeth. “The more you’re familiar with your magick, the quicker it responds. And thank you.”

  “I imagine you’re used to being told how smart you are. I’m not talking about book smarts, which you are as well, but you get your magick, you understand it. I’m envious. You’re good at showing what you mean. I’ve learned more about my magick in the week I’ve known you than in years. You’re patient with me.”

  He always knew what to say.

  “You’re a powerful witch. You felt it now, right? Do you see what I mean?” She was so proud of him but afraid to say it, not knowing how to give him the words that wouldn’t sound patronizing or weird.

  He pulled her close, her back to his front as he spoke to her reflection.

  “I got the wings on my back because I was foolish enough to tell the tattoo artist to do what he thought I needed. I never understood why he decided on something so intricate.”

  “The ladies must dig it though.”

  His quick grin told her she was right.

  “They may have before, but you’re the only lady I want digging it from now on. But as you’re my angel, maybe it was his way of telling me one day the tat would mean something more. I think we should do the ascension.”

  She nearly choked. “Don’t you dare let her guilt you into this.” She turned and he only shook his head, still smiling.

  “This has nothing to do with her. Well, that’s not entirely true but not in the way you think. You’ve given me such a gift and you don’t know it. I can’t tell you what it means that you never pushed. And that with her today you defended me.”

  “Of course I did.”

  He slid his thumb over her bottom lip. “I love when your bottom lip sticks out just a little when you’re arguing. What I meant was, I needed the space, I was reeling and fighting what I knew was true because it freaked me out. But I can’t deny this any more than I can stand here and look at you without wanting you again.”

  “I don’t want you to think that desire is out of your control, or not your choice.”

  “You told her the bond would be here in a month or a year. And it will. We do have time to get to know each other. The ascension will happen and I’ll still be learning you. They’re not mutually exclusive. I was hung up on something and the longer I think about it, the more I believe I was looking at it incorrectly.”

  “How so?”

  “It was sudden and I balked. You respected that and gave me some space to process something that in retrospect will probably still take the rest of my days to figure through it’s so huge. And I can. I can continue to examine it and find a way to make it make sense. Baby, the fact is, we are connected. You’re meant for me, and me for you. So I can accept that and enjoy it for all it brings to my life, or I can rail about it when I actually like it and who wins? Hm? We have this thing and it’s fucking awesome. Damn. Every time you get near my system revs up. My magick rises to meet yours. You say it’ll get even stronger after the ascension. Even your mother said that today. In the end, it underlines what I already know. It makes me a stronger and more powerful witch. It makes you one too. And it’s a way of telling you in no uncertain terms that I accept what we have.”

  She blinked back tears rather unsuccessfully. He flustered her because it mattered what he thought. How he felt was important. He got it. She wanted to hug him and cry, but then she’d get tears and possibly snot all over him and that was not the memory she wanted to leave him associating with this moment.

  “Don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you upset.” He looked so helpless it made her smile.

  “Good tears.”

  “Oh. Good. Okay then. When can we do this? The ascension I mean.”

  “It depends on what you want. It only takes a spell. We could do it now. But it’s usually done with at least one witness each. A grounding if you like. You can hav
e family there and do it at home or outside in a special place. Or, we can do a formal ceremony with a ritual. This would be in the presence of the entire seated full-council. You do know that even if you want to stay outclan, through me you have a seat on the governing council.”

  “Would that help you? Politically.”

  She liked that he got the politics of the situation without any prompting. So smart her man.

  “Yes. I can’t deny that. The more people on the dais who back my perspective the better it is for me. The stronger my position. I have no intention of shoving my mother out the door. She’s good at what she does and that’s good for the clan.” She shrugged.

  “I just realized I’m going to be bonded to the princess of witchlandia.” He said this totally deadpan.

  Her laugh filled her up as she tiptoed, stretching to kiss him just for the sheer pleasure of it.

  “Indeed. So you do know you’re like the first husband, right? I mean, you do accept that you’re mine and I’m not giving you back and that’s not just about the bond. It’s more. I’d want you even without this bond.”

  She saw it come over his face and realized she’d been nervous too. She’d accepted the mechanics and science of the bond, but she’d thought long and hard about the rest. Could she be with him for the rest of her life and know it was because she loved him, plain and simple? Because of, part of, whatever relationship the bond played, she felt it and it was real and that counted.

  They both let out a shaky breath. “Yes. I mean yes, I’d want you either way. I won’t remain outclan. I can’t play into any kind of feeling that I’m rejecting you or the clan. But I’m not like co-The Owen or whatever, am I?”

  “Come on.” She tugged him back into the bedroom.

  “Can I pick out what you wear?”

  She shook her head, rolling her eyes. “You’re demented.”

  “Damn right I am.”

  “All right.”

  He stepped into her closet and began to look through her clothes. She liked him in there with her. It felt intimate and sexy. He had excellent taste too, which was an added bonus.

  “To answer your question, no, there’s one leader of the clan and that’s the female firstborn of the sitting clan leader. Or a sister — that works too — and cousins. I’m totally digressing. Anyway, that’s me. And before me it was Edwina. Etcetera. Not all clans do it this way.”

  “But Owen does and that’s a big deal because Owen has a lot of power.”

  She turned to face him. “Yes. Why do you say it like that though?”

  “Trey. My friend and my accountant. You remember me talking about him?”

  “The friend from Los Angeles. He’s a witch too. Clan Hayes.”

  “Christ, I’m really going to have to step up my game. You never forget anything.”

  She shrugged.

  “Anyway, he said it when I told him about you. The others know I’m seriously involved with someone, but none of them are really going to get the witch stuff.”

  “We’re a powerful force in our world. I don’t deny it and I’m not ashamed of it. When you have power, people either leave you the fuck alone, or you can crush them when they do something stupid.”

  His smile made her tingly. “When you’re this way, all in charge and ruthless? It makes me want to lick you.”

  She paused, flattered and flustered.

  “I like that too.” He tucked her hair behind her ear. “You’re the genuine article, Meriel Owen.”

  “You make me forget everything,” she whispered. “My words. Sometimes even that I have a voice. No one ever has made me like this.”

  “Yeah? Good to know I’m not alone.” He kissed her and smoothed away that agitation.

  She still felt the phantom of his touch when he finished and stepped back to look at her clothes again.

  “What am I going to wear? I can’t pick the proper panties and bra if I don’t know what I’m wearing.”

  “Ah, the mystery of woman.” He moved closer and her heartbeat sped again. Never, ever had any man rendered her to goo the way he did. She’d always considered herself a healthy sexual being, but if she could work a way to have sex with him four or five times a day, she’d do it.

  She wanted it all the time. And he was so endlessly energetic and inventive. And really dominant. Whooo. She’d scoffed at the idea of getting off on a big alpha-male type and boy, was she wrong.

  The way he shielded her with his body drove her to distraction. He was a door opener. A coat putter on-er. He gave her his total attention when they were out.

  And in bed. Mother of pearl. He was hard and rough. Took what he wanted, but only after he’d gotten her there first a time or two.

  “You’re thinking about me fucking you.”

  She came back to herself, too late to blush or stop that one step that brought his arms around her. “It makes me so hot to know that.”

  “I was just …” She considered lying, but then realized that would be stupid. “I was, yes.”

  “Well, let’s see what I can do about making that into a reality then, shall I?”

  She nodded because he’d made her witless. Again.

  Chapter 15

  REMARKABLY relaxed, he leaned back against the seat and looked her over. So. Fucking. Lovely. How he’d ended up with someone like her he’d never understand, but that didn’t matter because now that he’d found her, he wasn’t giving her back. So it worked nicely with her declaration of the same.

  That he knew the softness at the base of her throat, the subtle scent of her hair, the way she sounded as she came, well, that made him a very satisfied man.

  He’d managed to take her in her closet just an hour or so before. When he’d sat up afterward, he’d seen the pretty blue dress she currently wore. He liked that extra bit of context. Every time she wore it he’d remember.

  Sex addled, he’d forgotten their earlier pre-sex discussion because, well, sex.

  “So, what is it you’d like? For the ascension, I mean.”

  She stole a spring roll and grinned. “Washington is a community property state. Just FYI that means fifty percent of your spring rolls are rightfully mine. And don’t give me any of that we aren’t actually married stuff because let’s face it, I want that spring roll and I’m not above showing you my boobs to make that happen.”

  Her sense of humor had been such a lovely surprise. He hadn’t really expected it.

  “You may always have my spring rolls. This is my vow to you.” Interestingly enough, he’d sort of been considering this ascension thing to be like marriage anyway. After all, he was binding himself to her for life. He knew that the bond wasn’t always sexual or romantic, but this one sure as hell was and it pleased him she thought so too.

  It was also interesting that he hadn’t panicked at the thought. It was as if he’d taken one look, one deep breath of her and his entire being had honed in and said, mine.

  “I just want you to be happy and comfortable. If you like, we can go to Tom’s and do it there. It’s going to depend on what you want. If you plan to join the clan as more than just the guy bound to me, then I’d suggest we do it here on Owen land. We’re most powerful here, where we’ve lived for generations. Our magick is in the earth. Everything around us is imbued with our signature, our energy. But if we do it here, you’re accepting that. It’ll recognize you and accept you as well.”

  He’d thought about all that too. He didn’t like rules and regulations. He didn’t like being told what to do. But he was her bond-mate and her man and she was going to run the clan someday. What would their children think if he didn’t sit with her on the governance council?

  He also knew it would hurt her if he rejected the clan. It was part of her in a way that had a lot to do with her identity. He got that. And heaven help him, but he couldn’t bear to hurt her.

  “I’ll be joining the clan. I don’t have to do any more ceremonies, do I? And I don’t have to like, work at your office or anything? I can k
eep running my club?”

  “That’s a whole ‘nother thing. We’ll get to that in a minute. Technically, once you perform the ascension you’ll be a recognized member of Clan Owen. You’d normally need to come in and talk with us and learn a little about the clan’s history and our expectations.”

  “But you’ve been a very helpful teacher.” He couldn’t help that he leered just a little bit as he said it. She was hot and he was hot for her. And she’d taught him a lot.

  “Well, I can attest that my introductions to magick and clan history have never been so interactive.”

  He snagged a dumpling from her plate. “Better not have been.”

  “You don’t have to work in the business, though you’ll have a seat on the full-council and as such you’d be expected to fill leadership opportunities. Committees, mentoring, that sort of thing.”

  “Can we do it here but not at your building?”

  “Oh, of course! We don’t have them there usually. I prefer my dad’s garden for such things. I’ve always sort of imagined I’d do my ascension there.”

  He took her hands. “Why didn’t you say so?”

  Those eyes of hers locked with his. “Because I knew my path and I didn’t want that to affect your decisions.”

  “That’s what we’ll have though. You know that. I’m going to want to do things sometimes just because they make you happy. And don’t tell me you never thought of that because you do it all the time with me. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

  She smiled. “I like it when you’re happy.”

  “If we weren’t in public right now, I’d be working the zipper on the back of your dress down. I will though. Perhaps … in my office. Yes. On my desk.” He lowered his voice. “From behind.”

  Her bottom lip caught briefly between her teeth and a wave of lust rolled over him.

  “I sure hope this part doesn’t wear off.”

  She dabbed her mouth with the napkin. “Me too. I can’t imagine not running around all day with my head filled with all the smutty things I want you to do to me.”