Yours Book 1: Losing My Innocence

by Blue Saffire

  Chapter Two

  The Reunion

  I woke this morning with the start of a serious tension headache. I am so hurt that Luke would disregard my request to find my own independence. It took me hours to relax enough to even try to sleep.

  All I want is to be treated like an adult for once. Is that too much to ask? Just thinking about it makes me upset all over again. There will be no more sleep for me and I have a very long day ahead of me.

  Last night was my and Kimmie’s very last night in this dorm room. This morning we will pack the very last of our personal items and Luke will have someone to pick up the last of it this evening.

  Once again, Luke’s plan for my life. Once we finish gathering the last of our things Kimmie and I head to the showers. This is why I love Kimmie, she knows how much I am stowing about this job offer and has just comforted me with her silence all morning.

  “I’ll fix your hair and makeup if you like,” Kimmie offers in an almost whisper.

  “Ok, but I’m not wearing the dress Ettie picked for the ceremony. I need to do something I planned right now. I’ll just wear my hair back. I don’t want my makeover being more important than my speech yanno,” I reply.

  “I understand whatever you want,” Kimmie smiles. “We have time to come back here and change after the ceremony.”

  In no time Kimmie has my hair tied back and I only allow her to put lip gloss on my lips. I dress in the soft pink cotton dress I had picked out to wear today and cute pink flats.

  It is when Kimmie pulls on her cap and gown and turns to me that it really hits me. This is it, four years and now I am graduating. I have kept my promise and I am the valedictorian as a result.

  “Don’t you dare Sophi, I’ll ruin my makeup,” Kimmie whines.

  I can’t help it; I am all choked up. I worked hard for this and I am getting to share this with all the people that care about me even if I want to kill Luke right now. “Sorry Kim,” I sniffle.

  “Oh, you Brat,” Kimmie giggles and pulls me into a hug. “I love you so much. I’m so glad I got stuck with you for four years.”

  I wipe away a stray tear from Kimmie’s cheek as she fixes the tassel on my cap. This is it the moment we have been waiting for since we walked into our first dorm room together with anticipation written all over our innocent baby faces. Maybe more innocence in mine, but still innocent the same. I learned so much here, but I am ready to learn so much more.

  “Let’s go meet our future.”

  Graduation went by relatively without a hitch. Well almost, it went as good as you were going to get with Sephora Emilsson involved. I was doing perfectly fine until a tall figure joined my family five seconds into my speech.

  My brain to mouth filter short circuited as I started to wonder if it was him. I silently cursed my mother for making me start to wear contacts. I was sure I would have had a better view with my glasses on. It was by shear nerves that I had found and focused on my family in the first place. I have to say I am proud of how fast I recovered, that in itself was a miracle for me.

  Just the thought of him being there made me want to give the best speech of my life. Although once I collected my thoughts again I was unable to look back in my family’s direction until I got my last sentence out. It was then that I realized that the seat beside Lucian was empty once again.

  The rest of the ceremony went by without incident. There was a reception with the faculty that I was required to attend and my family was right there to support me. Kimmie had gone with her family to eat together before the party this evening so we would meet back at the dorm.

  Luke was eyeing me suspiciously as I shot drags in his direction throughout the reception. I have yet to have a moment alone with him, but as soon as we get one I plan on letting him have it. Ettie frowned at me every time she thought no one was looking.

  I am sure my choice of dress and hair is sending her into a tailspin. We had made such a breakthrough yesterday. I would just have to explain to her later that I needed to have some control today, even if it was just for a little while.

  I made my rounds to thank my professors and a few Deans that had been really helpful in the last four years. Of course my mother worked the room as only she could. The proud mother who had done so much to make sure my dreams come true, umm really? Andrew seemed to be the only one I didn’t have to roll my eyes at so I often looked to him to give a private smile whenever my mom was just at the point of being over the top.

  “Would you like to tell me what I’ve done this time,” Luke murmurs into my ear as my mother entertains two of my professors with a story about me hiding in the closet to read books at night or at family functions.

  “Nope, but I will be sure to later,” I snarl so that only he could hear. The look on his face is one of pure confusion and shock. I never give Luke attitude. I have to say I surprised myself as well.

  He clears his throat and nods his head as he turns back to my mother and her story. I could feel Luke watching me from the corner of his eyes until he become completely frustrated and excuses himself to go pick Nina up for the party this evening. She had a photo shoot this morning that she could not get out of.

  I was fine with that. Nina is nice, but I still think Luke could do better. That thought makes me think of Kimmie, she had the biggest crush on Luke freshman year. I’m not sure what happened to change that, but I know it was something I missed while being too busy with my face in a book.

  Things still get a little awkward between them when they are in the same room. I would never have the nerve to ask Lucian, and Kimmie has denied it every time I’ve tried to ask her. My brother is a handsome man. He takes more after our father like Ettie with tanned olive skin that makes you question their heritage and they both have our father’s grey eyes. Luke definitely has the face of a model.

  My phone buzzes in my pocket, pulls me away from my musing. I pull it from my dress pocket to see Kimmie has sent me a text.

  Kim: Flowers are in our room for you.

  Me: Luke covering his tracks

  Kim: Want me to read the card.

  Oh, I know it is killing her right now to not open the card on those flowers. Kimmie can be so nosy. It is one of those things that you love and hate about her. It is great when it comes to analyzing coding, she can always find the things I miss, but it can be trouble in my personal life.

  Me: No, not interested in what he has to say.

  Kim: Ok … You on your way soon.

  Me: Sure be there soon.

  Just the mention of the party is enough to get my mother’s attention and have her heading for the door, barking orders for Andrew and Ettie to get me to my dorm to ‘change into something more presentable.’ I roll my eyes as Andrew nudges my ribs.

  “I think you look great and I’m very proud of you,” Andrew whispers before giving my shoulders a squeeze.

  “Thanks,” I beam.

  Andrew is a great guy; I am so happy Ettie found him. He is the type that will always be there when you need. The few times I had gotten sick while in college, he would always make sure I stayed with him and Ettie. Or the moment he found out I was under the weather, there would be soup delivered to campus for me, no matter where I was. It’s no wonder he swept Ettie off her feet, as stubborn as she is.

  “I would like to know what happened to all my hard work,” Ettie hisses once we are in Andrew’s car.

  “Long story Ettie,” I sigh. I should have known she was not going to let this slide. I am sure she is trying to figure out how she missed this dress in my closet when she so helpfully boxed my clothes for goodwill last week, leaving only what I had not hidden or the bare essentials I needed for the last week of school.

  “We have time, please do explain.”

  I throw my head back against the seat in exasperation. Andrew shoots me a sympathetic look in the rear view mirror. I start into the story of the package I received the night before. Of course they are both really excited for me until I tell them I had not applie
d and suspected that Lucian had a hand in it all. Ettie looks deflated, she of all people can understand what it is like to have my brother interfere with our lives anyway he can.

  “Oh, Lilla du, I’m so sorry,” Ettie sniffles. She really understands how important this is to me.

  “I don’t know, you two. Nick and I have known each other for a while now and in the last five years I have gotten a lot closer to him. I don’t think he would offer something like that just as a favor. I know he had something to do with paying your tuition, but that is something totally different from an executive position in his company. That does not say Nicholas Lincoln at all,” Andrew offers.

  “You do understand Luke is like a brother to him. He’d do just about anything for Lucian,” Ettie muses.

  “Yeah, but First Lincoln is Nick’s baby, he is all business when it comes to his company,” Andrew assures her.

  “Well, I don’t understand how I could get such an offer otherwise,” I murmur.

  “You also don’t know that you’re a beautiful, brilliant young woman that would be a great asset to any company. Hell, I was going to offer you a job until Ettie told me how you felt about going out on your own. I say Nick is one smart bastard and I’ll be calling my office to send you a counter offer first thing tomorrow,” Andrew says while smiling into the rearview mirror. “I really can’t afford Lincoln having one more ball in his court right now.”

  “Thanks Andrew, but I really want to see what I am capable of on my own,” I sigh.

  “Well, I still want my bid on the table in case you change your mind,” Andrew says warmly. I have no doubt this will be the last he’ll ever speak of this unless I decide to entertain his offer. If only Luke could take a hint the same way.

  The rest of the ride is pretty quiet and pretty quick, other than Ettie begging me to wear the outfit she picked for me tonight, I make it out of the car unscathed. Kimmie has the room set up like a salon when I enter. Ready to recreate the look from yesterday. I should have known she would be.

  I run to take a quick shower just to wash off the anxiety of everything Ettie and Andrew had said. I am still not ready to forgive Luke and thanks to the movers, –which Kimmie informed me had left a little bit before I arrived, –I did not have to see the flowers that most likely would have softened me up.

  I think Kimmie did a better job than the professionals with my hair and makeup. She used a soft violet on my lips and lined my eyes with blue and went heavy on the mascara using shades of gold, bronze, grey and black eye shadow for a smoky eye look. With all the drama pushed aside for tonight I feel really sexy. I slip my feet in my shoes as someone knocks on the door.

  “Mark,” Kimmie sings from the door, “boy I’m going to miss you lurking around our door.”

  “Who says I’m going to stop. Sophi already gave me an open invitation,” Mark croons.

  I never thought about it before, but I guess I did make more than one friend here. Mark has been a permanent fixture in front of our door. I can’t even count all the study sessions we have had in this room, some with Kim and many without. Kimmie would never willingly tell anyone her college major. She is not ready to admit she is a part of the geek squad. As Mark steps into the room, I can’t remember why I thought he was a part of the geek squad as well.

  He is decked out in a tailored navy suit and light blue dress shirt minus the tie from earlier. The top three buttons are loose, letting the ink that speaks of the true bad boy peek out just a little.

  Mark is kind of hot when you think about it, with his short wavy brown hair and those warm brown eyes. He has a strong jaw and straight nose and I have always thought he had a great set of straight white teeth. Despite spending most of his time creating coding and hacking, Mark always manages to have a tan. Mark is definitely not your stereotypical computer geek.

  With a whistle Mark pulls me into an embrace. “Looking good little one,” he whispers in my ear. Funny, Kimmie is my best friend and I don’t think she knows what my family means when they call me Lilla du, but here Mark says it with the same endearment my family means it with.

  Of course he only knows the meaning because I use it as a username and during one of our late nights he had asked. I was feeling open enough to tell him it was what my father called me and it pretty much stuck. Again funny.

  “You smell great,” I murmur. Oh no, did I say that out loud. What is wrong with me?

  “Thanks,” he grins. It is almost sexy enough to send my thoughts sailing again. Definitely time to go. “Are we taking your car?”

  “Umm, sure, but we are not coming back here after the party. How will you get home?”

  “I was hoping I could crash with you guys or I can take a cab,” he says sheepishly.

  “Oh… well, I guess you could stay with me and Kim. It’ll be fun, right?” I say as more of a question than the statement I meant it to be.

  “Okay, now that we have that settled can we go,” Kimmie calls from the door.

  I blush and hold out my car key to Mark as I start out of the door. Mark takes the key in one hand and places the other on the small of my back. I feel my blush deepen. This is so new to me. No one has ever touched me like this except for him. It isn’t quite the same and does not cause the same electricity to flow through me, but it is nice.

  Mark walks us out to the car and opens my door before opening the back door for Kimmie as well. I shake the silly feelings away once Mark’s hand is no longer on me. Maybe Ettie is right, it may be time for me to start dating. No, No, No, career Sephora. Yes, career first, after tonight I will start looking for a job and then everything else will come later.

  I pull myself together and the ride to my mother’s house is less awkward. We fall into our usual laughter and teasing. I really will miss the time we spent together. Mark is easy to get along with. Kimmie just always makes everything fun. I can’t help but feel like everything is about to change.

  We pull into my mother’s driveway fifteen minutes before the guests should begin showing up. Of course Lucian had to make sure my mother is more than comfortable in California, otherwise she would still be in New York. This house is so over the top you would never know there was a time our family had questionable finances. Although when you step inside it feels warmer and more welcoming than our New York home ever felt.

  The Spanish style home sits on two acres overlooking the ocean. There is wall to wall, floor to ceiling windows everywhere you turn. The view is quite breathtaking.

  My mother appears from out of thin air, moving more gracefully than a dancer. Blowing air kisses and giving hugs to Kimmie and Mark before starting in on me. “I thought the guess would surely get here before you,” she sighs. “But Sophi… you look… I always knew with some effort you were my little diamond.”

  Normally these words may have stung, but to hear the emotion in her voice as she says them leaves me feeling… confident I guess. If you haven’t already figured it out I have a few insecurities from growing up in this family as this woman’s daughter.

  I have always questioned whether I belonged and felt different. My dad being white, his parents from Sweden and South Africa and Mom being African American, but always pretending to be anything but, left me really confused. If it weren’t for my grandmothers, I know it would be a lot worse. My mom’s mother always made me believe I was special inside and out, but when she died, I was left with more of my mother’s words in my head than hers.

  When things got messy with my dad, my mother didn’t want us to see our grandparents on my dad’s side so it has been a few years now. My grandmother was born and raised in South Africa, and is as white as white can be. She would often tell me she could relate with a person not understanding me and how sometime I couldn’t understand myself.

  However, right now I don’t feel like the adopted child I have been believing myself to be for years. Catching my reflection in the mirror on the wall I sort of feel like I may fit into this family. It makes me giggle at my mother instead of dra
wing back into my shell.

  The dress I am wearing is simple enough, with a boat neck and an open back. The dress is pale blue with a grey and navy belt around the waist. The dress shapes to all my curves in the most flattering way. It goes perfectly with the navy heels Ettie insisted on.

  It isn’t long before the house starts to fill with guests. Luke arrives with Nina not long after we arrive, but he seems to be giving me space trying to figure out what I am so pissed at. Just seeing him gets me all worked up again. I cannot wait to get him alone to give him a piece of my mind.

  Just like the great friends they are, Kimmie and Mark pick up on my stale mood and come to the rescue. Kimmie is pushing champagne into my hand and Mark is by my side making up stories about everyone that passes by us.

  “The blonde right there,” he nods toward the pool outside. “She doesn’t even know who you are or that this is a graduation party. She just followed all the cars into the driveway hoping to get lucky.”

  I laugh so hard I snort. “She lives down the road Mark. That’s Monica.”

  “Monica looks a little lost if you ask me,” Mark chuckles. “Oh, look at this guy. He was invited by Kimmie after a drunk night at her last frat party.”

  “Shut up Mark, that one was not funny,” Kimmie growls.

  “I think it was,” I snort.

  “Traitor,” Kimmie hisses.

  “What are you guys up to,” Luke croons as he walks over with two friends of his.

  “Nothing,” I murmur, trying to keep the sass out of my voice. I will do my best not to embarrass him even if I am totally pissed at him.

  “I want you to meet a few of my associates Sephora, this is Craig Hilton and George Ligal,” Luke offers.

  “Hello, nice to meet you,” I chime.

  “Very nice to meet you Sephora. Your brother told us of your intelligence, but seemed to leave out that you are stunning as well,” Craig smiles as he takes my hand and kisses it.