Yours Book 1: Losing My Innocence

by Blue Saffire

  Nick’s thumb brushes at the single tear that escape my eyes. I take a fortifying breath and start. “Luke said a lot and it all has me thinking,” I take a pause. “What aren’t you telling me, Nick? What did he mean about my necklace?”

  Nick sighs heavily and rolls onto his back. I watch his jaw work under his skin as he works out whatever is going on in his head. His nostrils flare and he runs a hand through his hair.

  “Sephora,” he draws another deep sigh before he continues. “I wish Luke would have let us find our own way to get into my mess, but I know I can’t deny you answers forever. I just wish…,” another sigh.

  “Baby, you know that I have a particular preference in the bedroom. There are reasons for that preference,” I go to cut him off to ask what those reasons are, but he gives me a warning look. I bite my tongue and continue to listen to him.

  “In time we’ll get to those reasons. The point right now is I was in a dark place for a long time and I had subs that were willing to let me push the barriers extremely far. Luke…. Well, you know we are very close so he knows just how far I have taken things a time or two. Usually out of my darkness.”

  He pauses and for the first time since he has started talking, his face softens and he really looks me in the eyes. “I would never hurt you and I have come a long way from that darkness since being with you. Taking you in the way that I did earlier was strictly for your pleasure. I had no need to exercise my demons. My mind was only filled with pleasing you.”

  “But what about the necklace? What did Luke mean about the necklace?” I insist.

  “I told you that Luke and I have talked before, about me pursuing you. I made it clear to him that I would not have you as just my girlfriend. However, I don’t want you as just my submissive either. Luke has expressed more than once that he would not be happy with me taking your innocence in anyway, but especially not if I were to have you in my lifestyle.

  “I made it clear that I would not back off unless you wanted me to and I also made it clear that I wanted to take our relationship all the way as your Dom and you as my sub,” Nick breaks eye contact with me to look at my necklace.

  He turns to reach into the night stand and retrieves a gift box. He places it on the bed between us. I sit up to sit with my legs crossed and stare down at the box between us like it is a snake.

  “I wanted to wait, but I guess this is as good a time as any,” he sighs moving to mirror the way I am sitting.

  “I gave you the locket around your neck for graduation. Luke was there when I had it designed. At the time he didn’t know it was for you. He had believed that I was interested in someone else. It was some months later that I revealed to him that my interest was in you.

  “I guess tonight he put the pieces together. I had promised your brother that I would take things very slowly with you, but having my locket around your neck means more to me than you know.”

  “I don’t understand, it is just a locket,” I say fingering the butterfly at my throat.

  “Yes, it is. To anyone else’s eyes it is just a locket,” Nick nudges the box on the bed closer to me. “Open it.”

  I reach for the box and sit it in my lap. Hesitantly, I pull the lid off and gasp once I see what is inside. My eyes flash back to Nick’s handsome face. He is smiling back at me, but it is a strained smile as if he is not sure of himself in this moment, which is so unusual for me to see on his face.

  I look back into the box and with trembling fingers I remove its contents from the soft velvet cushion. The choker is delicate despite how heavy it looks. In the center, is a hollow shape. As if the face of the pendent attaching the two ends of the necklace had not been finished. I lift the necklace to my face to examine it more closely. There is a latch in the center of the unfinished face.

  Nick leans over and unclasps the necklace holding my butterfly pendant. I bite my lip not so sure about this new necklace or why Nick would want to replace my beautiful butterfly with this unfinished necklace. Don’t get me wrong, the choker’s design is stunning with its ropes of gold and what I am sure are diamonds.

  “The pendant is the key to the choker,” Nick murmurs as he takes the choker from my hands. He places the butterfly in the unfinished center. I watch him latch the butterfly to the choker and with a twist it falls open in Nick’s hand. “Turnaround,” he says in a husky whisper.

  I shift to my knees and turn as he asks. Nick brushes my hair over one shoulder and I lift it out of the way. Nick first places a kiss at the nape of my neck and then he places the choker around my throat and latches it into place.

  This time when he twists the butterfly it locks the necklace into place. I squeal as Nick lifts me from the bed and carries me into the bathroom. He plants me on my feet in front of the mirror and stares into my eyes through our reflection.

  He lifts his fingertips to the butterfly that is resting at the base of my throat. I watch as heat fills his eyes and the corners of his lips turn up. My breath hitches at the look of longing, lust, and heated desire. It is almost too much.

  “You are mine, Sephora. This collar will show that to the world. But someday, it is my hope that by your choice you will accept me as yours, to have, and to keep forever. I hope to be worthy of your love for as long as I breathe.

  “When you decide you are ready for that commitment, this,” he tapped the butterfly with his fingertip. “Will lock into place with the push of your finger and I will be the only one that can unlock it.”

  I lift my finger to push the butterfly into a locked position, but Nick quickly grasps my wrist. “No,” he breathes with a tight expression on his face as if he is in pain. Then more softly. “No, not now. When you lock this collar there will be no me letting you go. I need you to know all of me before you make that decision. You are not ready for that, Baby. If not for Luke, I would not have collared you so soon.”

  “But why would this make him so upset? Doesn’t this make me yours? Doesn’t that mean you will take care of me?” At Kimmie’s insists I had done a little reading online. The necklace now makes perfect sense. I push aside Nick not wanting me to lock the collar for now to focus on Luke’s anger over the necklace.

  Nick sighs and wraps his arms around my waist. “Luke loves you, all he sees is me moving his baby sister too fast. I guess seeing the key around your neck makes this all too real for him,” Nick replies before starting a trail of kisses down my neck. “Enough about your brother. You have no idea how much it is turning me on to see you with my collar on your neck.”

  “Well, you can show me can’t you, Sir?” I purr.

  Nick growls in my ear and swiftly turns me to toss me over his shoulder before stalking back in the room.

  Chapter Twenty

  The Torture

  “Nick,” I squeal and gasp from the pleasure and pain of the hot liquid that is warming my belly and breasts. I am so turned on, blindfolded, wrists restrained by my own panties and my legs spread open across the large king sized bed in our New York hotel suite. The suite in the hotel owned by my sexy boyfriend.

  We have been here since yesterday and I have been giving Nick the silent treatment because a certain red head was on the private flight here to New York. Had I known that she would be coming along on this trip then I would not have come along.

  I do my best to avoid Jillian in the office, but I was trapped on a plane with her sour face in view for the entry flight. Well, at least until Nick took me to the private sleeping cabin to make me forget all about her. I was floating when the flight landed, but of course Jillian made sure that didn’t last long.

  “Nick our dinner reservations are for nine,” Jillian said smugly.

  Nick groaned and rubbed his eyes. “I’ll see you at the hotel, don’t wait up,” Nick gave me a chaste kiss on the lips before helping me into the waiting car and closing the door behind me without another word.

  I was taken back and fuming as I watched Nick climb into a separate car with Jillian. I know Nick has promised me nothing
is going on with him and Jillian, but I see the way she looks at him and it drives me crazy. Besides, why couldn’t I go to dinner with them. He asked me on this stupid trip.

  I was so pissed off when he entered our room at one a.m. in the morning. He was giving me a smoldering look as he strapped down and climbed up the foot of the bed. I just huffed and turned my back to him, burying myself under the sheets.

  “Sephora,” he groaned against my neck. I could smell the whiskey on his breath as it warmed the back of my neck. I never answered and I don’t think it would have mattered if I did. He started to snore lightly as his head hit the pillow.

  I’ve been ignoring him since and he has not been none too happy about it. So now I am being punished for not talking to him or tell him why I am so pissed off at him.

  I gasp again as Nick shifts in between my legs and the hot liquid is gone, but his tongue is now his weapon of choice. First teasing my inner thigh as I try to squirm away from his warm mouth. Nick groans as he bites down on the flesh of my thigh and starts to suck.

  I am doing my best not to react to his drugging touch, but I lost that battle almost as soon as it started. Nick chuckles to himself before he runs his tongue to the one place that will get me to talk sooner than not. I arch my back off the bed and breathe through my nose trying to keep control of my body.

  I am closer than close and Nick knows it. Right on cue, reading my body like the master he is, Nick pulls away leaving me whimpering for him. His deep growl fills the air and reaches my ears. “Now Baby, are you ready to talk to me,” I can hear the frustration and edge to his words. “Why are you not talking to me, Sephora?”

  I am a panting mess, but he should know why I am not talking to him. I may be behaving like a brat, but I don’t like this feeling of being jealous. I don’t like how easily Jillian gets to push my buttons.

  Just this morning she called Nick’s phone. He was up and out of the bed before I could question him about last night. I’ve had it with her and whatever is or isn’t going on between them.

  I hear Nick growl again and this time I feel it up against my pussy lips. It vibrates through me and I moan out loud. Nick starts to push his tongue inside me and I bite down on my lip to keep from crying out.

  This time I feel myself going higher than before and I pray that he won’t stop, but I already know it is useless. He is not going to let me cum until I answer him. Just as I knew he would, he pulls away just as I have ecstasy within my grasp.

  “Are you ready to talk to me now, little one,” Nick murmurs against my thigh while placing little kisses against my skin.

  “Nick, please,” I cry out.

  “Please what, Sweetheart?”

  “Please, I need you,” I plead.

  “I need you too, Baby. But first you need to tell me what’s the matter. I can’t make you happy if I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. You have to talk to me,” he says sternly.

  I pout and whimper, but I know I am going to give in. I can’t take much more of this torture. Nick pinches one of my nipples for good measure and I swear that touch alone is almost enough.

  “I’m sorry,” I try hoping that will get me what I so desperately need.

  “Sorry for what,” Nicks asks with amusement in his voice as he climbs up my body.

  My mind is so scrambled I don’t know what I am sorry for or what to say to get him to give me what I need. I cry out as I feel his rock hard cock thrust into me, but he doesn’t move once he is fully sitting inside me. His lips are at my throat leaving a trail of fire with his hot kisses.

  “Tell me, Sephora. What is it that has you so displeased with me. I know it is not my cock. I’ve been keeping you more than pleased with it. Haven’t I?”

  Oh he is so arrogant, but right now it is sort of a turn on. As if to prove his point he starts to rotate his hips and grinds into me nice and slow, stirring a slow burn in my belly. I tug at my wrists wanting to touch him, pull him into me, anything.

  “This could be so much better, Sweetheart. Just tell me what I want to know. I promise to make you cum harder than you have every cum before,” he breathes into my ear.

  I groan as he gives one long amazing stoke that has my mind splintering. “Why did you leave me to go to dinner with Jillian when we first got here,” I pant out.

  Nick really growls this time. So loud that without being able to see his face I am a little afraid at first. He doesn’t reply, but begins pounding into me.

  He reaches for my legs and thrusts them over his shoulders. I am trapped beneath his assault and I can feel the sweat from our bodies mix. The smell of Nick’s cologne mixed with sex has my head spinning with its heady mix.

  Nick suddenly pulls the blindfold from my eyes and I am face to face with his green eyes. He is staring into my eyes so deeply I swear he can see into my very soul. I am taken back by the hurt and pain reflected in his eyes.

  Nick crashes his lips to mine plunging his tongue into my mouth to the rhythm of his thrusting hips. I am soaring now and I know he is about to keep his promise. I am about to cum harder than I have ever come before.

  My heart is stuttering in my chest and my whole body is shuttering. I am vaguely aware of Nick’s words as he continues to pump his way to his own release. “I. Only. Want. You. She is my fucking temporary assistant. It was a business meeting with three others. I only want you, Baby. Only you, Sephora.”

  My name comes out more like a roar as he released himself inside of me. Nick releases my legs and props himself up on his elbow, reaching to release my wrist. He never takes his eyes off my face. When my hands are free I place them against his heaving chest. He reaches to push the damp hair from my face.

  “You have to trust me, Sephora,” Nick sighs.

  “I know,” I say in a whisper. “I will.”

  I don’t know how but he is ready to go again and just like that, Jillian is forgotten and we are making love. I push all thoughts aside other than the fact that I have fallen completely in love with Nicholas Lincoln and there is no turning back for me.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The L Word

  I stand in Nick’s closet looking at myself in the mirror. My thoughts have been all over the place as of late. I huff a sigh as I read the text message I just sent to Kimmie, not that she will answer it. It has been a little over two months since my trip to New York and about just as long since I last saw Kimmie. We have been sending text back in forth, well me for the most part. If she does answer she usually answers with one word responses.

  I have no idea what is going on with her. About a week after returning from New York, Nick awoke me in the middle of the night with the phone pressed to his chest and his lips in a hard line.

  “Sephora, Baby wake up,” Nick said softly as he ran a hand through my hair. I blinked my eyes open to see him looking down at me as he clutched his phone.

  I shot up in the bed thinking that something had gone terribly wrong with my family or something. My first thoughts go to Lucian. It was the anniversary of my father’s death and I know that Luke takes it the hardest of us all. I was afraid that he had done something reckless from the look on Nick’s face.

  “What…what is it?” I breathe.

  “Relax Sweetheart. I just need to know if you and your team can stand to lose Kimmie for a little while?” Nick says soothingly.

  “Why, how long is a little while?” I ask in confusion.

  Nick winces before answering me, which only sends my thoughts racing even more. “She will need a week or two to relocate after that she can work remotely to catch up if that will work for you,” Nick says in an all business tone.

  “Relocate? Nick what is going on? Is that Kimmie on the phone? I want to talk to her,” I demand.

  “Sephora, can you spare her at this time or not?” Nick sighs in frustration.

  “Well…um, I guess we can cover for her for a week or two, but Nick I want to talk to her,” I insist.

  Nick ignores me and puts the phone to his ear.
“I’ll take care of everything,” He pauses to listen to the person on the other end of the phone. “No problem, you know I am always here for you. Let me know if there is anything else I can do. I call you in the morning.”

  “Nick, who was that, what is going on,” I ask in annoyance and frustration. “Is Kimmie okay?”

  Nick places his phone on the night stand and slides back under the sheets drawing me over to rest on his chest. He kisses the top of my head and tightens his arms around me.

  “Kimmie just needs a change for a bit. I’ll have her call you when she is ready,” Nick says and kisses me senseless when I raise my head to protest.

  Nick distracted me in the way he knows best. I fell asleep after we made love that night. I didn’t think about what was going on with Kimmie until the next morning when she sent me a text that she was fine and she would call me soon.

  She never called and I haven’t pushed her to, but I have still been concerned. I would have pushed Nick for more information if not for the fact that Kimmie does give little replies when I text to check in with her.

  I feel like a terrible friend. I know something is going on with her, but I have been so wrapped up in my relationship with Nick that I haven’t been there for her the way she is always there for me. I guess I haven’t really been there for anyone, but myself.

  Ettie calls me for help with the wedding and I have done what I can when I can. Now that I think about it Luke has been distant as well. I haven’t heard from him in, I don’t know how long. I know Nick has spent some time with him. Mostly when I am working.

  I press my lips and my brows compress as I reflect on the fact that I have let work and my relationship become more important than all the people that I love. I wince at the ping that shoots through my heart at one thought. I love Nick with all my heart. I have fallen deeper in love with him with each passing day.