Tears of a Clown

by MB Mulhall

  Darcy didn’t know what to say. A voice spoke up behind her.

  “Funny, I thought teachers normally encouraged students to be themselves and not bend to peer pressure and conformity. Looks like you’re not winning any teacher of the year awards with that advice.”

  Darcy’s jaw almost hit the floor when she turned and saw Chaz standing by the door, anger clouding his pretty features. He was the last person she would have expected to stand up for her. No, she rethought, Rich would have been the last, but Chaz was definitely at the bottom of the list after the past two days.

  “Mr. Worthington, I do not appreciate your tone.” He stepped into the room.

  “Well, I don’t appreciate what you said to Darcy, so we’re even.” Darcy must have looked like a fish out of water the way her mouth was soundlessly flapping. She’d never have imagined Chaz would act out to a teacher and certainly not on her behalf.

  Mrs. White pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes.

  “Was there something you wanted Mr. Worthington or did you just come back to be disrespectful?” Chaz flushed a bit but dug in his bag for a paper.

  “I found this article on magnetic fields I thought you might find interesting and relevant to our chapter.” Mrs. White glanced at the paper before slipping it inside her grade book.

  “Now don’t you two have somewhere to be?”

  Chaz nodded and turned to leave. Darcy, still speechless, followed on his heels. When they got into the hallway, Judd was there waiting for her. Chaz glared at him but said nothing as he started to turn away.

  “Wait!” Darcy finally spoke. Chaz turned, an unreadable expression on his face thanks to the sunglasses he had just put back on.

  “Thanks…for what you said in there. You didn’t have to say anything, but I appreciate it.” Chaz shook his head.

  “It wasn’t for you. I just hate that kind of hypocrisy.” He walked away before she could respond Judd gave her a questioning look, but she shook her head, brushing him off.

  A guarded expression replaced the one of curiosity as he stepped away towards her next class. The trip was another quiet one. Darcy was lost in thought and would have walked by her room if Judd hadn’t stuck an arm out to stop her. She looked up, surprised they were there already.

  “Thanks,” she said before entering the class.

  The day continued with other students cracking jokes, asking her to teach them to make balloon animals for auditions and for makeup tips. She ignored them all. Things continued to remain strained and often silent between her and Judd. Darcy wasn’t sure why he was even bothering to walk her from class to class.

  As the lunch period approached, she started to get nervous. All her least favorite people would be in the same place at the same time. A cafeteria was chockfull of ammunition as well. Maybe she should skip out, but where would she go? Hanging out in the Ladies was definitely off the list. She didn’t need another Tidy Bowl facial.

  Standing outside the door of her last class, she waited on her escort, pondering the possibilities of where to go. Not paying attention, she didn’t see Rich and his posse approach until they were upon her. Darcy looked up at them and frowned.

  “Hey, Dick. How are the balls? Still looking like you’ve got a bout of Elephantitis? That must help attract the ladies…until you get your pants off and they see it’s all berries and no twig.” Rich growled at her and stepped closer. Darcy stood her ground, but she was shaking inside. She really needed to be able to get through a whole day of school without a trip to the nurse or principal or needing a change of clothes. It really wasn’t asking much.

  “You think you’re such hot shit because you’ve got two popular guys following you around? Please, you’re a freak show they just want to stick their junk in and then be able to brag about. All us guys like a little crazy on occasion, keeps the sex exciting.” Darcy curled her lip.

  “You’re disgusting.” He stepped even closer, his hot breath making her skin crawl.

  “You’re dumber than you look if you think they’re in it just to be nice. They can just put a bag over your ugly face or do you from behind. The body’s not half bad.” Rich reached out a hand to paw her but before it could make contact, another arm shot out and grabbed him around the neck, hauling him back.

  “Don’t go talking about things you know nothing about. We’re not all trash like you, asshole.” Darcy watched as Rich struggled to get out of Judd’s dangerous grasp. Amidst the commotion, Jazz snuck in and grabbed Darcy, pulling her to relative safety.

  “This is done, Dick. You leave Darcy alone, you leave my sister alone, you leave anyone who doesn’t enjoy your…unique brand of companionship alone. I’ve held back for a long time and I’m nearly at my breaking point. Should that point be breeched, you might very well kiss your athletic scholarship goodbye, not to mention your pretty boy looks, so watch yourself.” Judd tightened his arm around Rich’s neck making the jock’s face turn an unsettlingly shade of blue. “Do I make myself perfectly clear?” Unable to speak, Rich nodded his head as best he could. Judd released him, shoving the football player toward the bank of lockers before joining Darcy and his sister.

  “Oh yeah, best to keep that tart Libby away as well. I don’t hit girls, but I’m sure Jazz would love a chance to get back at her if given the opportunity.” Judd put a hand on each girls’ back and propelled them away from the scene.

  “Thanks,” Darcy said when they rounded the corner, leaving the seething Dick in their wake.

  “Next time, stay in the room until I show, would ya? True I might enjoy the beat down, but I really don’t want to have to follow through on my threats and get kicked out. Who’d watch after you then?”

  Darcy stopped, hands on hips, annoyance plain on her face as her painted on smile.

  “Ya know, I appreciate the help and all, but there’s no need to talk to me like I’m a child.” Annoyance flashed on Judd’s face as well.

  “Then stop acting like one and doing stupid shit like antagonizing the Neanderthal.”

  “What was I supposed to do? Turning the other cheek with creeps like that leads to two black eyes rather than one…and you’d know all about black eyes, wouldn’t you? What the hell is up with that?”

  Anger darkened his eyes. He opened his mouth and shut it again, fuming. He took a couple of deep breaths, in through the nose and out the mouth. Finally he shook his head slowly. He had come to a decision.

  “You know what? I’m done. I’m done putting myself out for you, for trying to keep you safe and protect your reputation. All I get is shit in return, so screw this. Have a nice life. Hope you make it through to graduation. I’m out.” Judd left the girls standing alone in the hall, both in shock. Finally the silence was broken.

  “You’re 0 for two today, my friend. Perhaps it’s best you take a hit on the next one rather than striking out completely.” Jazz left Darcy alone with her thoughts as she followed after her brother.

  Head hung in shame; Darcy mentally chastised herself repeatedly for opening her big stupid mouth, yet again. Judd really was just trying to help her. Even though they had fought the day before, he sent Jazz to make sure she got to school okay and then showed up to walk her to and from every class so no one would bother her. How did she thank him? By getting on his case about Chaz. Stopping to think about it, she didn’t even know what went on between Judd and Chaz. Maybe Chaz provoked him some more. Maybe Chaz took the first swing and Judd merely defended himself.

  She ran her hand down her face, not caring if she smudged her makeup. Alone in the hallway, she heard voices heading her direction. It could be Rich and his cronies. She decided she better get out of sight. Turning down the nearest corridor, she realized she was headed for the front office. That was no good, but there was somewhere up there she could find sanctuary: the nurse’s office. Feigning a headache would allow her to lie down until the end of the period at least. It didn’t matter if she didn’t eat. Her stomach wasn’t too happy at the moment anyhow.

 
As hoped, the nurse gave her a damp washcloth and told her she could rest until the bell rang. Collapsing on a cot, Darcy closed her eyes and tried not to think of the hurt she felt when she fought with Chaz that morning or how much more it hurt when Judd told her he was through with her. Jazz had walked away too. Was it for good? Had she pushed away the only three people in the school who would even give her the time of day? Her life was a comedy of errors. She should have opted to be a mime rather than a clown so she’d have a reason to keep her mouth shut.

  At ten to the hour, the nurse popped her head behind the curtain and told Darcy the bell would ring soon and she’d have to go back to class. With great reluctance, Darcy swung her legs over the edge of the cot and stood up. Glancing at the wet wash cloth in her hand she saw much of her eye makeup had traveled from her face to the terry cloth fabric. She figured she might as well take it all off rather than fixing it. Maybe it would get people to leave her alone for the rest of the day. Not to mention, now that she’d be walking home, she wouldn’t have to worry about sweating it off. Pancake makeup stung the eyes something fierce. She ducked into the small bathroom in the office and quickly scrubbed her face. After patting it dry, she checked herself out in the mirror: still pale, eyes still too wide and innocent looking, lips, still too small. She felt naked and exposed without her makeup, but there was nothing to do about it at that moment. No time and she didn’t feel comfortable going into other bathrooms at school alone when she almost became a clown fish the day before. Sighing, she tossed the paper towel in the garbage can, missing of course.

  She was met with a slight resistance and exclamation when she swung the door open. Oops. She had hit someone.

  “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know anyone was out here.” She stopped when she saw who it was. Did these people stalk her, showing up everywhere just to make her feel uncomfortable? Chaz, sans the sunglasses, looked surprised to see her. His eyes were wide, as wide as the swollen one could be, as he looked her up and down.

  “Did something happen? Are you okay? Where’s your personal guard?” Darcy was not prepared to hear the concern in his voice. Tears sprang to her eyes. Mortified she turned away from him, trying to go back into the bathroom, but he caught her arm.

  “Hey, it’s all right. Whatever happened, you can tell me.” Darcy sniffled, unable to speak. Chaz gently led her behind the curtain so they could have some privacy. The nurse had stepped out to get something, but she’d probably be back any minute.

  He turned her to face him and gently rubbed her arms, which made her cry even harder.

  “Why- are- you- being- so- nice- to- me?” She managed to get out between sobs. He pulled her into a tight hug, running one hand over the back of her head. Knowing it was too late to stop; Darcy continued to cry on his broad shoulder.

  “I’m sorry about how I acted earlier. I was just…” He sighed. “I was mad at my own behavior. Embarrassed about how I acted yesterday. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you or Jazz.”

  “So, you’re not mad at me?” He released her and kissed her forehead.

  “I’m not mad at you. I’m…mad at some other things. Some situations I don’t really have any control of anymore, but no, I’m not mad at you. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

  She continued to sniffle as the onslaught of tears dried up. Using the back of her hand she rubbed her eyes.

  “Good thing I already took off my makeup, huh?” He gave her a small smile.

  When the bell rang they both looked towards it.

  “Waiting on Judd? I uhh, should go before he shows up. Are you going to be okay?” Eyes cast down, she shrugged and mumbled that Judd wouldn’t be coming. That he didn’t even know she was there, nor did he care.

  “I find it hard to believe he doesn’t care.” He reached up to touch his eye. “I’ll walk you to class. You can tell me what happened.”

  Darcy gave Chaz the short and sweet version of her run in with Rich and the argument with Judd and Jazz. He listened attentively, making unhappy noises when she mentioned the things Rich had said to her.

  “I wouldn’t worry about Judd and Jazz.” He leaned against the bulletin board outside her classroom. “They’ll come around and I know for a fact Judd won’t give up on something or someone so easily. He just needs a little space. I’m sure Jazz will tell you the same thing.”

  “I hope you’re right…” She wondered if Chaz was upset at her concern over losing Judd as a friend. She wondered if he realized the extent of her feelings for his enemy. If he did, he didn’t show it nor comment on it. Darcy sighed.

  Chaz shifted and revealed a neon green flyer pinned to the board behind him.

  “What’s that?” She nodded her head at the board and blinding sheet of paper. Chaz turned to see what she was looking at.

  “Oh. It’s for the Harvest Olympics. The different sports teams compete in a bunch of weird random events like tricycle races, egg tosses and competitive eating contests. The winning team normally wins a decent amount of money. A couple thousand dollars maybe. The money goes towards new equipment or uniforms or whatever the team needs.”

  “That’s a lot of money. Where does it come from?”

  “Some alumni who made it to the NFL donates it yearly and gives back to the ive back to the community. Blah blah blah.” Darcy smiled at his blatant disinterest in the whole thing.

  “Track team doesn’t need the money?” He rolled his eyes.

  “Of course they do, but it’s always the football team or the cheerleaders who win it. I think it’s rigged but we haven’t been able to prove it yet.” He thought for a moment, tapping a finger on his temple while gnawing at his bottom lip. “In fact, I bet the cheerleaders win it this year.” Darcy was intrigued.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Oh they were invited to some big pre-nationals competition in Florida but they need money to rent the buses and whatnot.”

  “And you think they’ll win?” Darcy shook her head. “I can’t picture those skinny twig girls eating anything competitively unless it was lettuce…and an egg toss? Not with those dragon talons.” Chaz grinned.

  “You’d be surprised at how many of them will chow down at the games. I think this year’s food is going to be cookies? Maybe brownies? Some kind of baked goods.” He held his stomach. “All that sugar would make me hurl.”

  “Bakes items, huh?” An idea sparked to life in Darcy’s head. “Do they all have to participate?”

  “In some event, yes. Captain and co-captain must enter the eating competition in order to qualify for the grand prize, but they’re allowed to double up if they want to do more than one event.” He looked at her closely. “That is one devilish look on your face…”

  “Is it?” she asked, feeling her grin grow wider. “Perhaps it’s because I’ve got the most brilliantly evil idea to exact my revenge on the rah-rahs.” Darcy threw back her head and cackled like a mad scientist seeing their creation come to life for the first time.

  Chaz took over Judd’s guard duty for the remainder of the afternoon, but due to his participation in the drama club, he wouldn’t be able to give Darcy a ride home. She gave him hell about the play choice, but he assured her PT Barnum was not his idea. He had voted against it but was outnumbered. She joked with him that they should hire her to do the makeup. When he offered to bring it up to the club she quickly shot him down. A joke was all she wanted it to be.

  When the final bell rang, she followed the swarm out of the building and headed towards home. It was still disgustingly hot for the end of September. Darcy decided to take some back roads which would offer some more shade, an escape from the pounding rays of that big shining ball of flame in the sky.

  She had walked about half a mile when she heard a car coming up behind her. Keeping her head down, she hoped it was just someone who lived on the road and not one of the school troublemakers. When she heard the loud bass music and the horn started to honk to the beat, she knew it was Jazz. She stopped walking but didn’
t turn around. The little red car came to a hard stop next to her, the tinted passenger side window sliding down.

  “Hey! What gives?” Darcy craned her neck down so she could see into the car.

  “What do you mean?” Jazz leaned over and flung the door open.

  “You are so damn dense sometimes. Get the hell in before you melt like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day.” Darcy relented and climbed in, immediately reveling in the icy comfort of the air conditioning set to Antarctic levels.

  As soon as Darcy closed her door, Jazz stepped on the gas and took off. Darcy struggled to get her seatbelt on. She wished she had one of Judd’s helmets too.

  “Why didn’t you wait for me? I had to drive up and down all the roads around here to find you. You owe me three bucks in gas!” Darcy could barely hear over the ear ringing dance music. Noticing her cringe, Jazz leaned over and turned the music down to a slightly less deafening volume.

  “So?”

  “I…didn’t think you were coming.” Jazz smacked Darcy upside the head. “Ow!”

  “And why would you think such a stupid thing?” Darcy rubbed the side of her head.

  “Oh I don’t know, maybe because you walked off all pissy earlier? Maybe you were taking your brother’s side? What the hell do I know?” Jazz took her eyes off the road to look over at Darcy, which freaked her out. “Eyes on the road please! My luck has been shit lately; please don’t help it along by being a reckless driver.” Jazz sighed but turned her attention back where it belonged.

  “Judd can get…careless when he’s upset. I followed him to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. I was mad at you, but only because you’re blind to those around you who care. You sure are quick to jump in and help someone or let them know they’re a good person, but if someone does the same for you, you can’t see it.” Darcy said nothing but kept her eyes on her lap. Jazz continued.

  “You’re both so damn sensitive and touchy about things. I make one little bad baseball analogy and you think I’ve stopped being your friend. As if it would be that easy to get rid of me.” Darcy cracked a smile and looked up. She didn’t recognize the neighborhood.