Brides of the West

by Michele Ann Young

  He groaned, pulled out of her as if in pain, and then spilled his seed on her belly. Chest heaving, lips pressed to her cheek, he held himself over her, grabbing his neckerchief to wipe her skin. He collapsed on his side, nuzzling the point of her shoulder. He drew in a shaky breath. “That was close.”

  She snuggled against his chest and he put one arm around her shoulders. Never had she felt so happy, so sated, so content. She pushed away the sadness that there was no chance of a child. A memento like that would be her undoing.

  ***

  Their heartbeats and breathing slowly returned to normal. The liquid heat in Jake’s veins cooled. The thunder of his heart returned to manageable levels.

  He rolled on his back, pulling her tight against his side, supporting her length on one arm to lift her clear of the hard ground. The warm night air cocooned them, but he pulled Matt’s shirt across her shoulders in case she felt chilled.

  An unexpected sense of exhilaration burst like rockets in his head.

  What the hell? Yes, it had been a long time, but never had the primal urge to mate, to brand a woman as his, been so strong a life force.

  His chest felt full of something he dimly recognized, but had suppressed for too many years to make its intrusion anything but painful. The same kind of crippling pain he’d felt when his efforts to please his father had been met by sneering slurs.

  Compared to this sudden invasion of raw emotion, duty and responsibility seemed like pale shadows. He clung to them. They’d served him well these past years, allowed him to meet his obligation to his nephews without involvement. If their mother took them back, he’d be secure in the knowledge he’d done his best. Yet somehow this passionate, strong, ornery scrap of a female had stirred things up inside him so bad, he desperately wanted to take the risk and ask her to stay.

  She was no beauty in the accepted sense, she was far too skinny. But strength of character shone from her green eyes. She didn’t simper and bat her eyelashes, she faced the world full on and forthright, and didn’t shrink from hard work. And her passion. Just thinking about her demanding responses made him quicken and harden.

  In the sliver of sky above his head the stars seemed to wink with mocking scorn. ‘You knew,’ they seemed to say in bright tinny voices.

  Yes. He’d known. The truth hurt, made him feel like a coward. He acknowledged it anyway. The moment he’d seen her dozing on that rock, he’d wanted her more than anything he’d wanted in a very long time. Instinctively, he’d protected himself the only way he knew. He’d rejected her.

  Had he made a terrible mistake by not giving her a chance? Was it too late? He’d never know if he didn’t ask. He steeled himself and cupped her angular jaw, his fingers tangling in her mass of tumbled hair.

  She raised her face for his kiss and passion swept good intentions away.

  ***

  Tess loved the feel of his velvet mouth against hers, the sound of his sharp intake of breath when she nibbled his bottom lip seeking entrance.

  The kiss deepened until she felt dizzy with wanting, rather like the sensation of too much champagne at someone else’s wedding. Knowing this would be their only night together made her want him all the more, while her heart ached for the loss.

  To her disappointment, he broke the kiss and nestled her head beneath his chin on his chest.

  Poor pathetic Tess, always hankering for what she couldn’t have.

  “You did a good job today,” he said. The words pleasantly vibrated against her ear, as if they were man and wife, tucked up in bed discussing the day’s events.

  “Thank you,” she murmured. “I loved the way you and Raven twirled those ropes. How you pulled those poor steers out of the water.”

  His fingers brushed the curls back from her face. “Hey. You called them steers. I think you’re gettin’ the hang of it.”

  She couldn’t stop her sigh for what might have been, but disguised it with a laugh. “So I did.”

  He inhaled through his nose as if to say something important. The silence crackled with a strange sort of tension. She felt his stomach muscles tighten beneath her hand.

  “You could stay a few more days,” he drawled.

  Tess realized she’d been holding her breath. She let it out slowly, hopefully. “Why?”

  “I guess I didn’t give you a fair chance,” he said.

  Not her longed-for answer. With a wave of her hand, she encompassed their entwined limbs. “If it’s about...this, you don’t need to worry. I wanted it as much as you.”

  The slight shift of his legs beneath hers spoke volumes about his discomfort, but didn’t clarify his meaning.

  “Perhaps you should stay a few weeks,” he murmured. “Just to see how things...go on?” His voice sounded strained, as if he wanted to say more.

  “You want to see if I’m going to have your child.” The words came out flat and hard.

  He didn’t answer. It wasn’t a question.

  “And then what?” she asked. “Would you marry me?”

  “Of course.” He sounded relieved, as if she’d offered him some sort of escape. “It would be my responsibility.”

  He was a man who took his responsibilities seriously. Even in the two days she’d known him, she understood that. She ought to appreciate his thoughtfulness, but the thought of his child in her womb was so utterly wonderful, his stark practicality pierced a soft place in her heart and it wept tears of blood.

  “And that is the reason you think I should stay?” she managed to say calmly.

  “The boys seem to like you. You cook real good. You ride as well as the rest of us.”

  These were the same kind of reasons she’d married Pete. When she’d signed the contract with A Bride for All, the convenience issue hadn’t mattered. Now, from this man, she needed so much more. She wanted to be loved for herself, who she was, not for reasons of economy.

  Her heart sank in a headlong rush down a deep hole. She hit the bottom, shaken and bruised and angry. “Please, Jake,” she said with as much sweetness as she could muster. “Don’t disturb yourself on that score. You did your best to make sure there would be no unwanted child.”

  He stilled, froze, even his heart seemed to stop beating against her cheek. If she hurt him, she didn’t care right now. She had her own pain to deal with. She pushed herself up, away, gathering her clothes, only dashing the mist from her eyes, when she was sure he couldn’t see.

  “We’ll go to San Antonio first thing in the morning as planned,” she said.

  He moved away, thrusting legs into pants, stamping on boots. “What’s so all fired interestin’ about San Antonio? You got someone waitin’ there? A man?”

  “As a matter of fact, I am hoping to meet up with someone there.”

  “Is this man the reason you came to America?” He asked it casually. Too casually.

  She had no reason to hide the truth. “Yes. I was robbed in New York, almost the moment I set foot on land. The Bride for All offer provided the opportunity to get out here.”

  “How were you goin’ to explain this man to me...if we’d married?”

  Good God, he sounded...angry, and if it wasn’t impossible, she might think him jealous. Her short laugh sounded rather more bitter than she intended. “I did wonder about that.”

  She followed his long strides across the boulders and out of the gorge.

  ***

  They had broken camp the next morning before the sun was no more than a grey promise in the east. Tess had the feeling they were fleeing the scene of a crime, that Jake wanted nothing more than to forget what had happened down by the river.

  He growled when Matt complained about having to wait to get home to have breakfast. He snarled when Dave failed to tighten his cinches properly. The only person unaffected by Jake’s black mood was Raven. He had ridden out and left them to it the moment he arose.

  And now she and Jake were driving down the main street of San Antonio, after hours of a silence so taut it vibrated. The buildings we
re low and whitewashed, their interiors looked dark, cool and inviting.

  Jake pulled up in front of a door beneath a sign: A Bride for All, with smaller writing beneath: Let us help you find yours.

  “I’ll go in and tell Tom Wilkins to cancel the contract,” Jake said. “At least I can get some of my money back.”

  Her throat felt as dry as the dust on the road. And besides, how could she speak when tears of regret lay so close to the surface. So she grabbed her satchel and climbed down before he offered to help.

  Jake hitched the horse to the post. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Hotel’s across the street.”

  Her throat fuller than ever, she nodded again. Her vision blurred. Dammit she wouldn’t cry. She would not let him see how much he was hurting her. She knew all about men and their needs. So he’d used her. She’d used him, too. Enjoyed it.

  She swallowed hard and forced herself to speak crisply. “Goodbye, Jake. Thank you for the drive. Wish Raven farewell for me please.” Raven hadn’t been at the Circle Q when they got back. She’d been worried about leaving the boys alone, but Jake had told her Raven was close, that he hated goodbyes. Dave had announced he hated them too and had hurtled off to the bunkhouse, followed by the dragging steps of his older brother.

  Jake didn’t look her in the eye. His hat pulled low on his forehead, his thumbs in his belt, he stared at the dirt. “Goodbye, Tess.”

  That was it, then. No more to be said.

  She swung away, took a swift look up and down the street for traffic, then crossed the road and entered the hotel.

  “What can I do for you ma’am,” the clerk behind the counter asked.

  “Is there a saddle maker in town?”

  “At the north end.”

  “I am looking for a man who does fine decoration.”

  The man scratched his nose with the end of his pen. “I wouldn’t know, ma’am. Do you want a room for the night or not.” He glanced at her satchel suspiciously. “Is that all the luggage you got?”

  Tess bit her lip. That was a complication she hadn’t thought of. That and her lack of money. The whole reason for agreeing to be a mail order bride had been because she’d been robbed of everything she owned. She still didn’t have money. And she wasn’t about to ask Jake. He’d probably see it as payment for services rendered and give it to her. Anger at the sudden pain in her heart reddened her vision and brought a hard lump into her throat. She forced her words around it. “Actually,” she said, “I’m looking for work.”

  The clerk’s pale face flushed. “You cheeky little bitch. Get out of here, before I call the sheriff. Didn’t you see the sign?” He pointed to the inscription on a varnished board above his head. “Or can’t you read?”

  “Yes, I can read,” she snapped. “It says no soliciting.”

  “And that’s what it means. This is a respectable establishment. Be off with you before I call the sheriff to put you in the hoosegow.”

  Heat flooded her cheeks as she realized what he thought. She turned about face with a flounce of her skirts and marched out.

  Jake’s buggy was gone.

  She glanced up and down the sleepy street, saw a couple of Mexicans dozing in the sun outside the saloon, a couple of horses waiting patiently outside the general store, and that was it. It was siesta time, according to Jake. Things wouldn’t get busy again until the sun went down.

  Oh, Albert, please be here. If he wasn’t, she might well find herself back in the Bride for All office looking for another husband. But she really didn’t think she could. Not after her encounter with Jake. She’d always compare any man she met to him. And that wouldn’t be fair or endurable.

  She straightened her shoulders and set off up the street. After coming all this way to find him, Albert just had to be here.

  At the north end of town, Fred Tuttle’s Saddle Shop was no different than the other adobe buildings. Tess peered into a window full of decorated saddles, each one with Albert’s trademark AW worked into the design, exactly like the one Jake owned. As she pushed the door open, a bell tinkled above her head. She stepped into the blessed cool and let the door swing shut.

  A dark-eyed woman of Spanish extraction with a black shawl over a pristine white blouse hurried from somewhere at the back of the shop. A full black skirt decorated with exquisite embroidery swirled around her ankles. She halted when she saw Tess, her expression turning doubtful, her black eyes huge. “Can I help you, señora?” Her soft accent was charming.

  Tess smiled. “I’m looking for my brother, Albert White. He made the saddles in your window.”

  The woman’s expression shuttered. “There is no Albert here.”

  Tess stared at her. Why would the woman lie? Was Albert in some sort of trouble? “My name is Tess. Albert is my brother. He wrote to me from San Antonio. I know he made those saddles.”

  The woman shook her head, hands clasped at her breasts. “I’m sorry, señora. It is a mistake, I think.”

  She made a shooing motion with her arms.

  Tess pushed passed her.

  “Señora,” the woman cried, “you cannot go there.”

  Tess didn’t stop. She passed through a storeroom and out the back door, where the dazzle of the white painted walls almost blinded her and the heat of the day hit her like a wall. On the other side of the courtyard was an open door to a workshop and stable. The woman trotted after her. Tess ran through the door, blinking in the sudden dark.

  “Tess,” said a familiar beloved voice. “What in hell’s name are you doing here?”

  She flung herself at her brother. “Oh, Albert. Thank God I found you.”

  “Well, well,” said a voice from behind. “How about that? Good thing I didn’t marry you after all.”

  Jake. His bright blue eyes hot and angry and full of hurt. Damn him. What right did he have to be hurt?

  The little Spanish lady hurtled through the door. “I am sorry, Alphonzo. I could not stop her.”

  Albert’s suntanned face split in a grin beneath his straggly brown moustache. “Ain’t no one can stop our Tess, I’m afraid.” Heavens, he sounded like an American, and he’d only been here four years.

  He looked at Jake. “But I’m not quite sure where you fit into the picture, mister.”

  Jake stared at Tess. “Nor am I. Or rather, I believe she used me to get to you.” He made it sound ugly. Very ugly. And she didn’t want him telling Albert exactly what they’d done.

  “Albert, you have to come home,” Tess pleaded. “Mother has married again. Her new husband doesn’t want the business. They plan to sell it and move to the country. If you don’t come soon, there will be nothing left.”

  “Did you come all this way to tell me that?”

  She stared at him. “It’s my home.”

  Jake was staring from one to the other. He looked sicker than a colicky horse. He jabbed his hat on his head and turned to leave.

  “Just a moment, Redmond,” Albert said. “Just how do you happen to know my sister?”

  Jake pivoted. “Your sister?”

  Albert narrowed his eyes. “Who did you think she was?”

  Jake shook his head. “Your wife? Maybe your woman? She was so damned keen to find you.”

  The little Spanish lady sidled up to Albert and put her arm through his. “Alphonzo es mio.”

  “You are married?” Tess asked.

  “Very much,” Albert said, planting a kiss on the woman’s dusky cheek. “And I’m not going back to London. I like it here. These cowboys,”—he gestured to Jake, who was staring at Tess so hard, her stomach clenched—“love my work, and they pay for it. Not like in London where all they do is expect something for nothing.”

  “But what about the business? It needs you. I need you. I can’t go and live with Mother in the country. There’s nothing for me to do.” She blinked back what felt horribly like tears. She was making a fool of herself.

  And Jake was watching her do it.

  Albert gave her a bit of a che
eky grin, laced with a smidgeon of pride. “Sorry to knock the wind out of your sails, Tess, but I’m managing quite all right without my older sister’s help. I’m thinking about going into politics. I can’t do that in England. I don’t have the right kind of education. Out here, they don’t care which school a man went to.”

  She sank down on a stool. She shook her head. “Mother doesn’t need my help,” she gave a helpless little laugh. “And neither do you it seems. Oh dear. Now what shall I do?” Suddenly, she felt like an idiot. She’d spent all her savings thinking she was doing it to help her brother and he was managing perfectly well without her.

  No one in the family needed her anymore. They were all happily married. And the only man she’d ever wanted had rejected her at first sight.

  Jake, who she wished would leave, stepped out of the shadows. She shot him a glare. “Don’t you have feed to buy? What are you doing here, anyway?”

  He took a step closer. “I saw your interest in that saddle. Your urgent need to get to San Antonio and knowin’ he was from England helped me put two and two together.” He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “I think I made five.”

  Albert cracked a laugh, then frowned. “You still didn’t say how you know each other.”

  “Mail order bride,” Jake said.

  “What?” Albert yelled. He leaped up and grabbed Tess’ arm. “Why would you do such a harebrained thing? I thought Dalton left you comfortably off. Don’t tell me you sank it all in the business.”

  Tess shook her head. “I invested some of it in the Funds and used the rest to travel here. But I was robbed in New York, had no means of proving who I was, so I signed a contract as a bride. I’ve always wanted a family, it seemed like the perfect opportunity.” She shook her head. “Only he didn’t want me.”

  ***

  Jake couldn’t stand the pinched look on Tess’ face. Clearly she’d been thrown off balance. He desperately wanted to haul her close and tell her everything would be all right, that she would come home with him and they would make a perfect life together. He took a deep breath . . . and held his peace.

  Tess got slowly to her feet. “Well, I suppose there’s nothing for it, but to go back to London, if you wouldn’t mind lending me the price of a ticket.”