Daddy

by Danielle Steel

  “I'm just going to miss Alex so much. He's so cute now, Dad. He's crawling. I don't know …” He seemed to hesitate again. “Maybe this isn't the right thing.” But a part of him wanted relief from the responsibilities. The last few months had been a nightmare.

  “You're doing the right thing,” Oliver soothed, “you can visit him in Bakersfield. It's only two hours from here. This is the best thing that could happen to all of you. You, Sandra, and the baby. You can't go on struggling back there. You've done a hell of a fine job this far, and I'm proud of you. But you have to think of yourself too. At your age, without even a high school diploma under your belt, you can't offer anything to that baby.”

  “I know.” And then, in a worried tone, “Did Sandra's mom really say she'd help her with Alex? I don't trust her to do it on her own.”

  “She said she would and she's not even working. Now get some sleep.” And as he said the words, he could hear the baby crying in the distance. Benjamin decided to wait at the house for Sandra to come home, and Margaret was coming in the morning. “I'll talk to you tomorrow night, at Grampa's.” But when he called him the next day, Margaret said he was asleep. He had been absolutely heartbroken when Sandra and the baby left. He had insisted on cleaning up the house in Purchase himself, after they left, and when he got to his grandfather's house, he had just kind of fallen apart from the shock and strain of it. Apparently his parting from Sandra had been bitter and loud. And Margaret had put him to bed like a child, and he hadn't even eaten dinner. She wondered if he should stay for a few more days, but Oliver insisted that he wanted him in California as soon as he felt up to the trip. He needed to get out of there and put as many miles as he could between himself and the past year's nightmare.

  “He's a fine boy, Oliver. You should be very proud of him. He was a man till the end. And it killed him to see that child go.”

  “I know.” He had never expected him to love the baby so much, and it certainly complicated things, but in time, perhaps things would change, perhaps the attachment wouldn't be so great, or maybe one day Sandra would be willing to give up her rights and let Benjamin adopt him. Oliver had spoken to an attorney about it and he had assured him that unless she was willing to give the baby up, and she wasn't, there was no way to wrest the child from her. They had done the right thing in letting her take him, and the appropriate thing would be to let Benjamin visit the baby. “Thank you again for taking care of all of it, Margaret,” Oliver said. “I'm sorry to burden you with all that. I just didn't know who else to turn to.” He had thought of calling Daphne in New York. But she was too far away, and too busy with her work. Margaret had been a godsend in handling the problem, and he was deeply grateful to her. His father was right. She was a hell of a woman.

  “Your father says he's a lot like you were. Strong and kind and stubborn.” It was odd to hear her say the words, Oliver had always thought Benjamin was more like his mother. “He'll get on the right track again now, don't worry about him, and I'll put him on the plane to you tomorrow or the next day.”

  He thanked her again, and finally hung up, to call Sandra's mother in Bakersfield and make sure that Sandra and the baby had arrived safely. She said they had and wanted to know how quickly the first check was coming.

  “I put it in the mail to you yesterday, Mrs. Carter,” Oliver said with disdain. “Is the baby all right?”

  “He's a cute kid,” she said, more to please him than out of any real emotion she had for her grandchild. And then, finally, Oliver relaxed, as he stretched out on the couch next to Charlotte, who had been through most of it with him. The ordeal was finally almost over.

  He turned to her with a tired smile, as she gently stroked his hair. “It's been a year of hell for that boy, Charlie. Thank God he's free now.” Though even Oliver felt a pang of sadness for little Alex. He would be more removed from their lives now.

  “It must have been hard for him to call you like that. You have to give him credit for throwing in the towel while he still could.”

  “I do. I have a lot of respect for him. I'm just sorry he had to go through it.” They had a quiet dinner alone that night, after Mel and Sam went upstairs. By then, Benjamin had called, and they all knew that their brother was arriving the next day, and Oliver had warned them he'd had a tough time, and Mel had promised to do whatever she could to make things easier for him. They all wondered what he was going to do about school, but no one knew yet.

  Ollie drove Charlotte home late that night, and he only stayed for one quick drink. All they did was talk about Benjamin, and kiss for a few minutes in the kitchen. It was certainly a far cry from his wild, unbridled fling with Megan. And he smiled at her ruefully before he left, and apologized for all the confusion.

  “I'm afraid you'll find, my love, that things never go quite the way you plan, with kids around. I guess I've gotten used to it over the years, but it can't be much fun for you. I haven't been very good company for the past few days.”

  “You've been fine, and I wouldn't have expected you to be any different.” And then she had a thought, she loved being with him, and with his kids, and her heart had gone out to this boy she didn't even know yet. “Do you want me to come to the airport with you tomorrow night, or would you rather be alone with him?” She was always thoughtful about the time he needed with his kids, and he appreciated that too. There seemed to be nothing she didn't understand or wasn't willing to help with.

  “There'll be plenty of time to talk after we get home. I'd like you to come with me, Charlie.” He smiled, and kissed her again, and left a few minutes later, exhausted himself. He could barely imagine how Benjamin must feel after all he'd been through. But he was in no way prepared for the gaunt, pale, anguished-looking boy he picked up at the airport the next night, and all he did was put his arms around him as the boy cried, while Charlotte stood at a discreet distance. He finally wiped his eyes, and looked at his father like a long-lost friend. And Charlotte turned away so they wouldn't see her tears, as they both walked slowly over so Benjamin could meet her.

  “Charlotte, I'd like you to meet my son, Benjamin.”

  Oliver spoke quietly, it was a somber night for them, and she understood it. But the boy made an effort to look less distraught than he was, and smiled as he shook her hand.

  “My sister has told me a lot about you, and I've seen your show a lot of times. And Sam's told me about the guinea pig. You've made a big hit with my family, Miss Sampson.” She was flattered by the kind speech, and gently kissed his cheek, and Oliver noticed how much the two resembled each other. Almost anyone would have thought they were related, with their bright red hair, and creamy skin, and the thin dusting of freckles.

  “I'm flattered, Benjamin. But I'd be even happier if you'd call me Charlie. How was the flight out?”

  “Pretty good, I think. I slept most of the way.” He was still emotionally drained and totally exhausted. He had slept until noon that day, and Margaret had driven him to the airport, as she had promised his father. And then he talked quickly to his father in an undertone. “Did you talk to Sandra last night? Is the baby okay?”

  “They're fine.” He led him toward the baggage claim, sad to see Benjamin so worried about them. Alex was still his first concern and it was painful to see how much he missed his baby. He said as much to Charlotte, when they were alone for a minute, putting Benjamin's bags in his bedroom.

  “He's not just going to forget him, Ollie.”

  “No, I know that. But it's time he thought of himself now.”

  “He will. Give him time. He's still in shock. Don't forget all he's been through.”

  They walked back downstairs to join the others then. All the children, including Benjamin, had stampeded into the kitchen. And when Oliver and Charlotte walked in, Benjamin was eating a club sandwich and a plate of brownies that Aggie had made him. Mel was talking excitedly to him and Sam kept shoving the guinea pig in his face, to show him how beautiful he was. And Benjamin smiled as he listened to them. I
t was good to be home, better than any one of them knew. He felt as though he had just spent a year on another planet.

  “So how's school?” he asked Mel.

  “It's great. You're gonna love it.” And then she wished she could have swallowed her tongue. Her father had warned her not to press him about school, but her brother read the look in her eyes and smiled.

  “Don't worry, kiddo. I'm not that uptight. But I haven't figured out what I'm going to do yet. I want to go down to Bakersfield to check on Alex first, and then I'm going to look into taking a high school equivalency test. I think I might try to get into UCLA if I can swing it.” Gone the dream of Princeton and Yale and Harvard, but UCLA was a fine school, and he wanted to stay close to home for a while. Now that was all he wanted.

  He told Oliver the same thing when the others had gone to bed, and Charlie told him she had gone there, too, and offered to write him a letter of recommendation, if it would help him.

  “That would be great.” He thanked her, and tried not to look as though he was staring at her. But he had been impressed with her all night, with how nice she was, and how pretty, and how obviously crazy about his father. She insisted on driving home herself that night, she wanted the two men to have some time alone, and Benjamin had nothing but good things to say about her after she left, which pleased his father.

  “Looks like you lucked out, Dad. She's terrific.”

  “I think so too,” he smiled, and then looked worried again as he looked over his son, as though searching for scars. But none of them showed, except in his eyes, which looked a hundred years older. “Are you okay? I mean really?”

  “I'll do. Do you have a car I can borrow, Dad? I want to drive down to Bakersfield to see Alex tomorrow.”

  “Do you think you should? So soon, I mean. It might be hard on Sandra. Maybe you two ought to give each other a breather.”

  Benjamin sighed, and leaned back against the comfortable couch, relief written all over his face as he stretched his legs. “I'd be happy if I never saw her again. But I want to check on the baby.”

  “You're crazy about him, aren't you?” It was just like what he had felt for his own children after they were born, but he had expected this to be different, and the funny thing was that it wasn't.

  “He's my son, Dad. You wouldn't expect me to feel any differently, would you?” He seemed surprised. To him, legitimacy or not was not the issue. He loved his baby.

  “I guess not. I felt that way about you.” It would have killed him to walk out on him, or leave him in the hands of someone he didn't trust. And suddenly, he got a glimpse of what his own son was feeling. “You can take the station wagon if you want. Just tell Aggie you're taking it, in case she needs it to buy groceries or pick Sam up.”

  “Thanks. And I promise, as soon as I've done that, I'll get myself squared away with school. And if I have a long wait to get into UCLA, I'll get a job. I'm not going to sit on my ass. I want to thank you for everything you've done for me, Dad.” The words brought tears to Oliver's eyes, and he gently patted him on the knee as he stood up, tired himself, and relieved to have his son back in the fold at last.

  “Just make a good life for yourself, Benjamin. You'll have it all again one day. A good woman, all the children you want, at the right time, in the right way, with the right wife, if you're lucky.”

  Benjamin smiled at the advice, and looked up at him curiously. “You gonna marry her, Dad? I mean Charlie.”

  “I figured that much out.” The older man smiled, and was honest with him, man to man. Benjamin wasn't a child any longer.

  “I'd like to, but we haven't had much time to discuss it.” He'd been skirting the subject for the last month. He knew how important her career was to her, and he was desperately afraid of rejection. He didn't want to blow it by asking her too soon, but he had known from the first night that it was right. And it was just a matter of time before he asked her. It was different from anything he'd had before, and he had feelings for her that he'd never even had for Sarah. It had always been difficult with her, he realized now, a square peg in a round hole. But this was such a perfect fit. Charlie was everything he had always dreamed of.

  “She's a great girl. I really like her.”

  “So do I.” Ollie smiled, and then showed him upstairs to his bedroom. And then he walked slowly to his own, glad to have them all under one roof again. His three little chicks that were all growing up so fast, even Sam. He never slept in his father's bed anymore. He was perfectly content in his own room, with Charlie.

  Chapter 24

  Benjamin drove to Bakersfield the day after he» arrived, and he wasn't thrilled with what he found, but the baby was all right, and Sandra was there and her mother seemed to be keeping an eye on things, which was the best he could hope for. But the house was decrepit and unkempt, the air conditioner didn't work, and Alex was sleeping in a crib in the living room, with the TV blaring beside him. He squealed when he awoke and saw Benjamin in the room, and it was an agony leaving him again, but he was happy to get away from Sandra.

  He drove back to Bel Air feeling somewhat reassured. And in the ensuing weeks, he passed his high school equivalency test, and applied to UCLA and four weeks later he was accepted. He had gotten a part-time job by then, in the bookstore on campus, and he intended to keep the job, so he could help make the monthly payments for Alex.

  He had driven down to Bakersfield again, and things appeared to be the same, although Sandra was out that time, but her mother was there, drinking beer, and the baby looked happy, and Benjamin played with him for an hour, and then drove back. And this time, he didn't mention the visit to his father. He had a feeling that Oliver thought he was still too involved with the child, but he knew just as clearly that it was something he had to do, that no matter how many other children he had one day, Alex would always be his first, and an important part of his life. And he intended to stay very much in the picture. And Sandra's mother didn't seem to mind, she was very pleased with the payments that arrived punctually every month. Alex was the best thing that ever happened to her. Sandra sure knew what she was doing when she got knocked up by Benjamin Watson. The Watsons may not have been rich, but they were comfortable enough, and she knew from a little research she'd done back East that the kid's father made a hell of a good living. And then a few weeks later, she read a little item in a gossip column that really intrigued her. The old man was going out with Charlotte Sampson. It didn't mean much now, but one day, if they stopped paying their dues, a little blackmail might even be in order.

  But that was the farthest thing from Ollie's mind, as the romance flourished, and they spent more and more time with each other, much to his children's delight. And finally in late April, he got up the courage to ask her.

  They were having another one of their quiet, intimate dinners at Chianti, and he didn't surprise her with a ring, or ask her on bended knee. He waited until they had finished eating, and then looked at her nervously, and she giggled at him. She wasn't sure, but she thought she knew what was coming.

  “How was the office today?” she teased, and he almost groaned.

  “Don't do this to me … I wanted to talk to you about something serious. I have for a long time, but I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it … with your career and all….”

  “You want to offer me a job?” She smiled innocently.

  “Oh shut up. Actually, now that you mention it … yes. You could call it that. A permanent position, with rotten pay, compared to what you make. A lifetime commitment, live-in, with three major handicaps, a few perks, and eventually a pension.”

  “Don't you dare call your children handicaps, Oliver Watson! I happen to love them.” She sounded offended on their behalf, and he held her hand tightly in his own, and brought it to his lips to kiss her fingers.

  “So do I. But I also happen to love you. How would you feel about getting married one of these days?” His heart pounded as he asked, and he wouldn't have been surprised if she declined, but
she didn't say a word, she just kissed him.

  “That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me,” she said finally. But she still hadn't answered him, and waiting for her to was torture.

  “And?”

  “I think we should both think about it seriously. You more than I. I know what I'm getting, Ollie, and I love all four of you, but you've never been married to a wife with a career before, it can be pretty rough, especially a career like mine. We wouldn't have a very private life, no matter how hard we tried, and everyone would always be making a fuss about me, as long as I'm on the show anyway. And that can be a pain in the ass sometimes too.” He'd already experienced it when they went out, the constant demands for autographs, the press, the well-meaning intrusions. But it didn't bother him, and he was proud of her. He didn't mind standing back and letting her be the star.