by Bess McBride
Kyle rolled out of bed and stepped into the shower. Ellie made her way into the kitchen and turned on the coffeepot. Kyle liked to have his coffee ready when he woke. She poured herself a cup of orange juice and looked at her watch. No time to drink it. She’d have to fly out of the apartment to catch the El to the college. She grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
“See ya, Kyle.”
“Wait, Ellie.” Kyle rushed into the living room, still wet from his shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. Ellie turned back in surprise. “Wait,” he murmured as he dashed back into the bedroom. He emerged in a moment, wearing a robe.
“I have to go, Kyle. Can this wait?”
“No. No, Ellie, it can’t. I’ve been waiting for a while now.”
Ellie stared at him, normally such a calm man, now nervously clanking in the kitchen for a coffee cup. She held her bag and waited.
“Sit down,” he mumbled as he moved toward the breakfast table.
“Ummm...okay.” She pulled out a seat and perched on the edge. “What’s going on?”
Kyle stared down into his cup for a moment and then glanced at her across the table. His eyes flickered around the room; he couldn’t seem to keep them steady. He resumed his study of his coffee.
“Kyle? I have to go.” Ellie was going to miss the train, and she would be late. It didn’t really matter. She didn’t have an early class, but she did have papers to read and grade.
“I know. I know. Wait just a minute.” He put up a hand and took a deep breath. “Ellie, I don’t know how to say this to you, but...I-I’m moving out.”
Ellie dropped her purse. “What?”
“I’ve met someone. I’m sorry. I hate to do this to you. We’ve been together so long.”
“But how? I thought we were going to...”
“I know. I know.” He couldn’t keep his eyes on her face. “I know we were going to get married, but we’ve never set a date. You never set a date.”
“Me? What about you?” Confusion more than anything reigned supreme in Ellie’s mind. She assumed the shock of the moment trumped everything and that misery and grief would soon follow, but for now she just felt confused.
“Okay,” he raised a pacifying hand. “Neither one of us set a date.” He finally managed to meet her eyes. “Doesn’t that tell you something?”
She shook her head and remained silent. He was right. She’d felt more of a sense of loss when she’d awakened from her dreams.
“I-I don’t know what to say. Are you in love with her?”
Kyle blinked for a moment and nodded sheepishly. “Yeah, I think I am. Maybe. I don’t know.” He raised a hand to his forehead and rubbed it. Then his eyes flickered back to her face again.
“I always loved you, Ellie. You have to know that.”
Ellie smiled weakly. “I know, Kyle. I know. I loved you, too.”
They looked at each other blankly for a few moments. It seemed they’d said all they could. She rose once again, trying to remember what her morning routine was. Go out the door, catch the El, go to work. “I still love you,” she murmured in a daze.
Kyle moved toward her, unexpectedly pulling her into his arms in an unusual gesture of affection.
“I still love you, too, Ellie. I’m sorry.” He pressed her face against his chest. He smelled of soap, his scent familiar, recognizable.
She pulled away, tears in her eyes. “When? When are you leaving?”
He hung his head for a moment before he looked up.
“Today. I’ll be gone before you get home.”
Ellie caught her breath. “So soon? I-I didn’t know it would be so soon. Why?”
“I think it’s best, Ellie.”
“Are you...are you going to move in with her?” Ellie knew she shouldn’t ask but she couldn’t help herself. The future looked bleak. While their relationship lacked spontaneity and romance, he had been her companion—the man she’d expected to marry until a few short moments ago.
Kyle studied the carpet for a moment. “Ellie, I don’t think you want to know.”
She bit her lip and turned away in humiliation. “You’re right. I don’t want to know.” She hurried toward the door before the tears fell onto her face. “I have to go.”
“Ellie,” he called, but she did not turn back.
Chapter Eleven
Ellie woke up in the dark—disoriented, confused. She turned to look at her clock but couldn’t see the bright blue numbers. She rolled over onto her other side and put out a hand. The rest of the bed was empty and cold. No Kyle.
He was gone!
A sliver of light peeped under the door, and she crawled out of bed to make her way toward the faint glow. She pulled open the door and peeked out. A soft light from a wall sconce kept the darkness of the hallway at bay. She was back in the Queen Anne house again. But in what era? What if she’d slipped back into the dream in another time? What if Robert no longer lived? Had she dreamt about Kyle? Was she dreaming now? The alternative—time travel—was just not possible.
Ellie turned back and grabbed her robe from the chair. She tiptoed into the hallway and shut the door behind her with a small click, unwilling to wake Melinda just down the hall...if she was still there.
Ellie made her way to the staircase, gripped the banister tightly, and followed it down, one careful step at a time. The darkened foyer revealed nothing. A round table stood in the middle...as it had. She ran her hand along the sleek wood, but couldn’t tell if the table was the same.
The first floor lay in darkness except for a sliver of light under the study door. She moved toward it and rested her ear against the wood, listening for sounds. The last thing she wanted was to wake up in the house with a complete set of strangers. Ellie found the handle, eased open the door and peeked in.
A small lamp on an occasional table provided the only light in the room. Robert slumped in one of the easy chairs—jacket and tie discarded, his normally well-groomed hair disheveled, an empty wineglass in his hand. A bottle of wine sat on the carpet at his feet. The scene, though at odds with the controlled man she thought she knew, brought her an intense feeling of relief. She had not lost him forever. Not yet.
“Robert,” she whispered, unsure if he slept.
His eyes flew open, and he turned in her direction.
He struggled to rise.
“Ellie, what are you doing here? Are you ill?”
He moved toward her, his hand outstretched. In the soft light of the room, she found courage and reached for his hand.
“No, I feel all right. I had a dream. I thought I had returned to my own time. Or maybe I’m dreaming now. I was so scared I wouldn’t see you again.” Ellie’s voice broke as she looked up into his haggard face.
Robert pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her neck, holding her tightly to him. Taken completely by surprise, she froze for a moment. His breath against her neck made her knees weak. She tilted her head back to look at him for a moment. Was he drunk? This was so unlike the seemingly proper turn-of-the-century man she’d met.
Robert stared down into her face with troubled eyes. He cupped her face in his hands and bent his head to kiss her. At the first warm touch of his lips on hers, he slid his arms around her once again and held her as if he would never let her go.
Delirious with the unexpected pleasure of his spontaneous kiss, Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck and rose up on tiptoe in an effort to mold herself to his body. She kissed him with abandon...without reserve. The past, present and future came together in a passionate crescendo as she moved against him. She felt him respond to her, pulling her tighter and tighter against him until she couldn’t breathe. His hands roamed her back until his hand caught in her hair.
Then he stilled suddenly and put Ellie from him. Unable to stop herself, she reached for him again, but he placed gentle hands on her shoulders. In the soft light of the study, she saw that his eyes traveled the length of her body as no well-bred Victorian man should allow. She blush
ed. What was he thinking? That she had no morals, no self-control?
“Ellie, we cannot.” His breathing was ragged. “I cannot tell you how much I want you, but I will not take advantage of you.”
“Yes, you can.” Ellie heard the words she wanted. He wanted her. She moved toward him again. With a groan, he pulled her to him. Still, he held back. With one hand under her chin, he raised her face to his. He gazed into her eyes and shook his head.
“No, this is not right. I am drunk. I have had the most difficult night. You are a guest in my house with few resources. I will not compromise you.”
Ellie grinned. He’d gone Victorian on her. She couldn’t believe he’d actually said compromise. How cute!
“Robert, I forgive you for being drunk. You are no less appealing to me. I choose to come to you willingly. You could never compromise me. I’m a twenty-first-century woman. We don’t get compromised anymore.”
Still, he held back, refusing to do more than hold her against him and bury his face in her hair.
“We did not have an opportunity to dance this evening,” he murmured in her ear.
Ellie tilted her head back to look at him. “Were you going to dance with me tonight? I couldn’t tell.”
Even in the soft light, she could see the deep dimples above his grin. “Of course I was going to dance with you...if Sadler could be persuaded to leave your side for a moment.”
Ellie snorted. “You mean if you could tear yourself away from Constance long enough.”
He pulled her against him more tightly. She struggled to breathe but relished the moment.
“Nonsense. Let’s dance.”
Ellie looked around the fully furnished and carpeted study.
“Here? Now?”
“Yes, here and now.” Robert kept hold of her with one hand and raised his other arm. Ellie slid her hand into his palm. He stepped out and began to move her around the room in a graceful waltz. She followed him effortlessly, prancing around the room in her bare feet on the carpet, two or three steps to his every one. Though no music accompanied their dance, a symphony played in Ellie’s head. She began to hum a tune as Robert twirled her around the furniture. As she laughed and responded to his charming grin, she felt heady, carefree, romantic and very much in love. The dreamy dance ended when Ellie stubbed her toe on a leg of the desk.
“Ouch,” she mumbled, grabbing her foot and hopping.
“Oh, my dear, I am so sorry,” Robert chuckled. He led her over to his chair and pulled her down onto his lap. He held her while they examined the toe together under the lamp, but no bones appeared to be broken. When she tried to rise, he held her against him.
“Well, don’t you think this is a bit compromising?” She arched an eyebrow but snuggled into his arms.
He grinned. “Yes, I do, but I cannot help myself.” He raised her hand and brought it to her lips.
A book on the small table, next to his wineglass, caught her eye. She peered at it closely.
“You’re reading the H. G. Wells book, Robert.”
He stared at it for a moment. “Yes.”
“Is that a coincidence? Did you conjure me up with a time machine?”
Robert failed to respond to her joke. He eased her off his lap and jumped up to pace the room restlessly. Ellie knew a moment of desolation. She hugged herself. Robert noticed and took both her hands.
“I am looking for answers,” he murmured as he pulled her into his arms again.
“Answers to what, Robert? What?”
“To tell me how to keep you here. How to keep you with me.” His husky voice tore at her heart. “I-I have written a letter to Mr. Wells to discuss some of his thoughts on time travel. I do not expect a response for weeks, but I hope he will give me some encouragement.”
Ellie leaned back to stare at him. “Robert, you didn’t tell him about me, did you?”
He laughed without humor. “Do you think I am mad, woman? No, no, I did not discuss your...ah...arrival with him. I asked if he believed time travel was possible, and that if one traveled in time, could the traveler stay in the time or would they have to return.” He cleared his throat. “I asked other things, but that was the gist of the letter.”
Ellie touched the side of his face tenderly. “Robert, I didn’t come in a machine, other than the train. It’s not the same thing.”
He pulled away from her to pace the room once again. “I know, I know. But perhaps Mr. Wells used the machine with literary license. Perhaps it was just an acceptable metaphor for something we do not yet understand.”
Ellie watched him as he wandered the room, restlessly placing one hand on his hip and the other to the back of his neck or alternatively clasping both hands behind his back. The man seemed possessed with finding an answer to something she thought she already knew. It was a dream. And in the dream, he was in pain...because of her. The happy-go-lucky, charming, suave man had evolved into a grim-faced, unhappy and morose man seized by doubts and confused by a phenomenon neither of them understood.
She sank into a chair and watched him stalk about the room.
“Robert, come here. Please sit down,” she called. He stopped pacing and returned to the chair beside her.
“What is it, my love?”
Her heart soared at the endearment, but she tightened her lips against the romantic aura his words evoked. He’d known her for only a couple of days. How could he be in love? She ignored the fact that she herself had fallen fast and hard.
“I can’t stand to see you like this, Robert. You look miserable. If this is my doing, then I need to fix it.”
Robert reached for her hand and brought it to his lips, turning it over to kiss the inside of her wrist. His mouth felt warm and delicious on the tender, exposed skin. Against the responding stirrings in her body, Ellie held fast to her thoughts.
“Do you hear me, Robert? I need to fix it.”
“And how would you do that, Ellie?” he murmured as he kept her hand in his. “Can you guarantee me that you will not disappear? Can you promise me that the future will not snatch you away again? Can you assure me that I am not some poor sap in a dream of your making?”
She shook her head mutely.
Robert rose from his chair and pulled her back into his arms.
“I cannot bear to lose you, Ellie, not now that I have found you. I have waited so long for you. I do not care whether this is a dream or if you have traveled through time to come to me. I do not want you to wake up one morning and forget me. I do not want you to disappear.”
Ellie shivered at his words, though her heart craved the love he so eloquently expressed. His fear and pain seemed genuine, and she knew she must make a decision. It could not go on. But for now...just for now...she would forget the future.
“Stay with me then, Robert. Don’t let me go to sleep. I’m terrified that I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone...that I’ll be taken from you.”
He whispered against her hair. “Hush, my love. I will stay with you. I will not let you go.” He lowered himself into the chair and pulled her down into her arms, cradling her on his lap like a child. “I have waited all my life to fall in love. I will not lose you now.”
They stayed together for hours, without words, without movement. Ellie rested her face on his chest and listened to the rhythm of his heart. How could such a strong, steady heartbeat belong to a shadowy figure in a dream? She fell asleep toward dawn.
****
Robert did not sleep. Sleep was an impossibility with Ellie in his arms. While she slept, he studied her face and her body, longing to trace a line from her eyes to her lips with his fingers. He barely suppressed the urge to caress the soft curves of her thinly dressed figure. It was all he could do not to stroke the sleek curls of the dark hair that dangled over his arm.
But he did not want to awaken her, and he chose to do nothing but watch her—committing her face to memory—in case the worst came to pass. He drew in a deep breath and released it, gritting his teeth as he contemplated lo
sing her. He was determined that would not happen this night. He would not let it. He would hold Ellie against him until dawn, securely in his arms. She would not slip away from him through time or in a dream. Not on this night.
****
Ellie made her way to her room early in the morning, after Robert kissed her and told her he had to go work.
She looked around her room and wished things could have been different, but they weren’t. Robert’s safe and secure life had turned upside down. He was miserable and uncertain of the future, and it was her fault. She would take action.
She found paper and pen—not a ballpoint but the old kind, with metal nib and ink—in the drawer of the nightstand, and she wrote out a note. When Alice came to help her dress, she gave her the note and asked her to have it delivered immediately. Alice left with the letter, and Ellie waited in her room. She couldn’t face the rest of the house. Melinda would probably sleep in, and Mrs. Chamberlain always took breakfast in her room.
Two hours passed, and still Ellie heard nothing. She tried to think of mom’s apple pie and the boy next door while she waited for a response. What if an answer never came? What if she had exposed her plans only to have them betrayed?
Alice tapped on the door.
“Mrs. Green is here to see you, ma’am.”
Ellie jumped up. Constance! She hurried out the door and down the stairs, tripping occasionally on the green skirt Alice had managed to squeeze her into earlier that morning.
Alice followed her down and opened the door to the parlor. Ellie slid in and shut the door behind her quietly.
Constance stood at the window, gazing down on the view of the city below. Her dark blue tailor-made silk suit and jacket showed her slim figure off to perfection, the netted hat giving her a regal bearing that Ellie knew she could never hope to achieve.
“Constance, thank you for coming. May I offer you some tea?” Some well-trained servant had thoughtfully placed a tea tray on the mahogany table in front of the sofa.
