The Midnight Tour

by Richard Laymon

  But Dana didn’t want to talk about it. Especially not in front of Eve. She liked Eve, but hardly knew her and didn’t want to speak about her feelings for Warren in front of her. For that matter, she wasn’t sure how much she wanted to tell Tuck. Better to hold it all inside, private and safe and special. Keep it her own, at least for a while.

  “I’d still be at his place,” she said, “except I was afraid you’d decide to risk life and limb by doing something monumentally stupid. Which you, of course, did.”

  “Of course,” said Tuck.

  “Pretty damn reckless,” Eve agreed, shaking her head but smiling.

  “You’re both a couple of pussies,” Tuck said. “Anyway, I was ready for any eventuality.”

  “Don’t go looking for trouble,” Eve said, “just because you have a gun.”

  “You do.”

  “Trouble’s my job.”

  “You’re off duty tonight. But you came over looking for trouble, anyway.”

  “Just wanted to make sure you two didn’t get yourselves reamed by some bad-ass pervert, that’s all.” She poured more wine into her glass, then into Tuck’s. “Didn’t expect any of this, though. This is very nice.”

  “Come over any time,” Tuck said.

  “Thanks,” Eve said, then offered the bottle to Dana. “Have some?”

  Dana shook her head. “No thanks.”

  Eve set the bottle aside, then took a sip from her glass.

  “I was planning to scout around the grounds, make sure your friend wasn’t lurking around.” Lowering the glass slightly, she scanned the dense row of bushes and small trees beyond the far side of the pool. “Never exactly got around to doing that.”

  “Shame on you,” Tuck said.

  “You distracted me with this stuff about the wine and jacuzzi.”

  Dana suddenly found herself staring at the bushes.

  Especially at the dark space where Tuck had seen the prowler last night.

  “You’re not worrying, are you?” Tuck asked her.

  “If nobody checked over there...”

  “So what if somebody is there?” Tuck said. “We’re armed to the teeth. Anyone tries any shit with us, we’ll blow 'im to kingdom come.”

  “I should’ve checked,” Eve said.

  “Don’t worry about it. Forget it.”

  “It’s the main reason I came over in the first place.”

  Eve stood up. She turned around and set her glass on the ledge.

  “Hey, don’t bother,” Tuck said.

  “It’ll just take me a few minutes. Then we’ll know for sure that everything’s safe.”

  “We’re safe here. I don’t want you going over there. What if somebody is there?”

  “Then he’ll be in big trouble, won’t he?” Eve stepped onto the submerged bench, then onto the ledge. Water spilling off her body and spattering the concrete, she hurried over to the towels.

  She squatted and snatched up her pistol.

  “Wait,” Dana said. “Tuck’s right. You really shouldn’t go over there.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be right back.”

  “Maybe you won’t!” Tuck said. “Come on, you’re gonna ruin the party.”

  Still squatting, Eve shifted the pistol to her left hand. She pushed her right hand into the folds of Tuck’s towel and pulled out the .44 magnum. “Mind if I borrow this?”

  “Yeah, I mind. Just stay here.”

  “If somebody is hiding over there,” Eve said, “I think we should find out about it.”

  “Doesn’t mean you have to risk your ass.”

  The huge revolver in one hand, the black automatic in the other, Eve stood up. “This better be loaded.”

  “Damn it, Eve!”

  Eve smiled, said, “Take it easy,” then started striding toward the end of the pool.

  Dana leaped up. “Wait!” she called. “I’m coming, too.”

  “Me, too!” Tuck shouted.

  Eve stopped and faced them. “No. Just...”

  They both sprang out of the spa.

  “All for one and one for all!” Tuck yelled.

  “Jesus H. Christ,” Eve said.

  Water dribbling off her body, Dana crouched over her purse, fumbled inside and pulled out the pistol that Eve had loaned her last night.

  As she rushed toward her two friends, she saw Eve hand the Smith & Wesson to Tuck.

  “Be careful with it,” Eve said.

  “Don’t you want to deputize us?” Tuck asked.

  “Where would I pin the badges?”

  “We don’t need no steenking badges.”

  Eve in the lead, Dana and Tuck side by side a few paces behind her, they walked the length of the swimming pool, turned the corner, and headed for the dark row of bushes.

  “If there is a Peeping Tom,” Tuck said, “he’ll think he’s having a wet dream.”

  “Oh fuck,” John muttered, “I’d love to get a shot of this.”

  “Don’t try it. We’ve gotta get out of here.”

  In Owen’s mind, John ignored him and lurched out of the bushes, onto the pool’s apron straight in front of the spectacular trio and raised the big-lensed camera for what might’ve been the greatest photo of his entire life—and they opened up on him, their guns roaring, fire flashing from their muzzles. Owen could see how the flashes threw stark light across their wet, naked bodies. And he could see how the slugs struck John, smacking holes in him, making him twirl and dance in slow motion until he fell on his back.

  Grabbing John’s arm, squeezing it, Owen blurted, “Come on!”

  And John didn’t try for the shot. “Yeah,” he said. “Let’s book.”

  Side by side, they scurried backward.

  We’ll be okay, Owen told himself. 'They’ll never see us in here. Not without a flashlight.

  He was nearly certain they had no flashlight.

  As he crawled backward, he kept his eyes forward and watched for them. He ought to be able to see their legs through the bushes when they got to this end of the pool. Probably a few seconds from now.

  Rustly sounds came from the bushes to his left.

  Oh jeez, somebody IS over there!

  The cough, a few minutes before Dana’s arrival, had frightened him badly.

  But he’d heard nothing more from over there.

  With Dana’s arrival, he’d been able to push his worries aside. Awestruck, he’d watched her remove her clothes. He’d been stunned to discover, when she pulled off her T-shirt, that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

  “Ah, look at them titties,” John had said, inspecting her through his telephoto lens.

  Owen had resisted an urge to hit him. He’d learned his lesson about that sort of thing. Besides, a blow might’ve jiggled the camera and ruined a shot.

  The camera had clicked and buzzed again and again as Dana drew the T-shirt over her head, dropped it, and stepped down into the spa.

  Then John had said, “Show’s over. Ready to go?”

  “No way.”

  “What, you don’t want to leave? I thought you couldn’t wait.”

  “Blow it out you ass, Cromwell.”

  “Think maybe they’ll have an orgy?”

  “Shhh.”

  “A three-way babe orgy.”

  “Shut up.”

  “How’d you like to get in the middle of that?”

  The mere thought of it excited Owen. “Just shut up, okay? You want them to hear you?”

  “They can’t hear shit...those bubbles and everything.”

  “Maybe. But I’m not so sure we’re the only ones over here.”

  “What, your phantom cougher?”

  “It sure sounded like a cough.”

  “Why don’t you go investigate, offer him a lozenge?”

  “I haven’t got a lozenge.”

  “What’re they gonna do, just sit in there and drink all night? Come on, babes, let’s have some action.”

  “Would you please be quiet?”

  Not long after
that, the beautiful stranger had climbed out of the spa.

  “Oh man, oh man,” John had murmured, his camera clicking and buzzing.

  “Oh shit,” Owen had said. “She’s getting the guns! She beard you, you asshole!”

  “Take it easy.”

  Then Dana had stood up and climbed out, followed by Lynn.

  “Oh man,” John had said, snapping shots rapid-fire, “look at Lynn, look at Lynn. Oh man, she shaves it!”

  I see, I see!

  “We’ve died and gone to heaven, man!”

  Except that Dana, down on one knee, had just pulled a pistol out of her purse. And Eve had just handed the giant silver revolver to Lynn.

  And then they were all together, coming around the pool like a bizarre version of the Earps on their way to the O.K. Corral.

  Side by side, Owen and John kept crawling backward. Owen watched for the legs of the women.

  “I meant to bring a flashlight,” he heard one of them say. Her voice came from the left and sounded as if she was still down by the deep end.

  “Want me to run in the house and get one?” He recognized Lynn’s voice.

  “No, don’t bother. Let’s get this over with.”

  “What was that?” Dana asked.

  Bowels going cold, Owen stopped crawling. John stopped, too.

  “Did you hear something?” the stranger asked.

  “I thought I did. In there.”

  “What?” Lynn asked.

  “Like leaves.”

  “Probably just the wind,” Lynn said.

  “Maybe.”

  “I’m a police officer,” the stranger said suddenly in a loud, hard voice that made Owen flinch. “Come out of the bushes. We know you’re in there. Come out slowly with your bands over your bead.”

  Owen turned his head. John, on hands and knees, seemed to be looking at him.

  Softly, Owen went, “Shhh.”

  “I’ll give you five seconds. Then I’m coming in after you. If you make me do that, I’m gonna be pissed.”

  Owen counted slowly to five, then to ten.

  “Here I come, ” she announced.

  “You’re not really...?” Lynn’s voice.

  “You two wait here. Keep your weapons ready, but try not to shoot me.”

  “If you go in, I go in,” Diana said.

  “Me, too,” said Lynn. “All for one...”

  John suddenly whispered, “Let’s get the fuck outa here.”

  They resumed crawling backward.

  Fast.

  For a few seconds, Owen heard talk about getting scratched by the bushes.

  Then the stranger announced in a, loud voice, “Here we come, ready or not.”

  Chapter Forty-three

  HERE THEY COME

  Scurrying backward, Owen heard something shaking the bushes to his left.

  The gals?

  No. They were tromping through the foliage in the same direction, but farther away.

  It’s that other guy.

  No longer trapped in the thick shrubbery, Owen turned himself around, scrambled to his feet and dashed into the woods.

  John ran close behind him. They were both gasping for air. Their shoes pounded the ground, crunching the undergrowth and snapping twigs

  The woods were awfully dark. Owen could see nothing except dim shapes of gray and black and a few pale speckles of moonlight.

  He was risking a bad fall. Or a collision with a tree.

  But at least he was putting distance between himself and the heavily armed women.

  As the ground began to slope downward, he slowed his pace slightly.

  They won’t follow us this far, he thought.

  Still running, he glanced over his shoulder.

  Nothing back there except a dark, wooded hillside.

  We left ’em in the dust.

  Hell, they probably never did more than take a little stroll through the shrubs.

  If we give them a few more minutes, he thought, they’ll be back in the water.

  How about going back for a return visit?

  Not a good idea. That’d really be pushing our luck.

  Better not mention it to John. He’ll have us going back there for sure.

  John?

  Slowing down to an easy jog, Owen again looked behind him.

  He saw the dark, wooded slope, but he didn’t see John.

  Or hear him.

  No thudding of shoes, no huffing of breath.

  Where’d he go?

  Probably couldn’t keep up with me, Owen thought. The fat slob. Must’ve stopped to rest. Or maybe he tripped or something.

  Owen walked over to a tree, turned around, then leaned back against its trunk to wait for John. He was out of breath, himself. His clothes were clinging to him, and sweat trickled down his face. He wiped his face with a sleeve of his shirt.

  Okay, Cromwell, where are you?

  What’d you do, decide to take a nap?

  Owen gazed at the hillside rising above him and expected to see his obnoxious friend come chugging down it at any second, shirt flapping, camera swinging by its strap.

  Tuck, holding her .44 magnum high, climbed down into the steaming water. “I got pricked so many times,” she said, “I feel like a two-dollar whore.”

  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Eve crouched and placed her pistol on top of the towel.

  She’s not taking it in with her, Dana noted. Even though the weapon would still be within easy reach, it seemed like a good sign that Eve was willing to let go of it.

  So Dana squatted down over her purse and slipped her pistol inside. Then she followed Eve into the spa. The water, she supposed, was every bit as hot as before. But it didn’t seem to bum her this time.

  Its heat took away her shivers and seemed to soften the tightness of her muscles. It even made her scratches feel better.

  “Think he’ll be back?” Tuck asked.

  “You never know,” Eve said. “I bet we gave him a hell of a scare.”

  “Also gave him a hell of a show,” Dana pointed out.

  “He probably won’t be back tonight, anyway,” Eve said.

  “Took off like a scalded monkey.” Tuck set her revolver on the ledge and picked up her wine glass. It was nearly empty.

  “Too bad he waited so long,” Eve said. “Could’ve saved us from getting scratched all to hell in those bushes.”

  “You would’ve gone in anyway,” Tuck said, then drained her glass. “You’ll go in anywhere.”

  “Maybe not anywhere.”

  “I was afraid you might take off after him.”

  “I gave it some thought,” Eve admitted.

  “He sounded big,” Dana said.

  Eve shrugged her bare shoulders. Dana noticed a few red scratches on them, and some faint scars as if she’d done this sort of thing before. “I wasn’t worried about that. But I didn’t want to go chasing him through the woods and leave you two behind. He might’ve circled back...”

  “If you’d tried to chase him,” Tuck said, “I would’ve tackled you.”

  “Fat chance.”

  “Okay, maybe not. So I would’ve told my big buddy Bullwinkle to do it.”

  Eve looked at Dana. “Bullwinkle?”

  “That’s me.”

  “Well, you’re about my size. I’m sure you could tackle me if you set your mind to it.”

  “That’s why I keep her around,” Tuck explained. “Now, everybody stay put. The night’s still young. I’ll get us a new bottle.” She set her glass out of the way, then hurled herself out of the spa. Dripping, not even bothering to grab a towel, she ran naked into the house.

  Eve said to Dana, “You actually broke your evening short so you could come back and watch out for Lynn?”

  “Afraid so.”

  That takes some real loyalty.”

  “I knew she’d come out here.”

  “I had my suspicions, too.”

  “Glad you came by,” Dana told her.

  “I messed
up, though. I should’ve scouted around first thing...with my flashlight.

  “Oh, well, no harm done.”

  “I’m not so sure of that. We really did give the guy an eyeful. He’ll be back for sure, sooner or later.”

  “You’ll have to keep coming back to protect us.”

  “You mind?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Maybe I’ll use some of my comp time, take a few nights off and keep coming over till I manage to nail him.”

  “Really?”.

  “Sure.”

  “That’s a lot of trouble.”

  “No big deal. Hey, I don’t have enough friends to let stuff happen to them.”

  Staring into Eve’s eyes, Dana nodded.

  “I look out for my friends,” Eve said. “And I destroy my enemies.”

  “Glad you’re on our side.”

  “I’ll get this guy. Maybe tomorrow night...”

  “Tomorrow night, we won’t be here.”

  Eve looked puzzled. Then her face seemed to light up. “Oh! Of course not. The Midnight Tour. You’re going, too?”

  “I thought I’d give it a try.”

  “That’ll be fun”

  “Have you ever done it?”

  “A few times. It’s terrific.”

  “Here comes the vino,” Tuck announced, hurrying toward them.

  She held a bottle of red wine in one hand, a cork screw in the other. A few strides from the edge of the spa, she stopped, bent over slightly and clamped the bottle between her thighs. “Ah! That’s cold!”

  “Don’t do anything obscene with it,” Eve said.

  Laughing, Tuck wrapped her left hand around the neck of the bottle. “I’m not that kinda girl,” she said. With her right hand, she started twisting the screw into the cork. “So what did I miss?” she asked.

  “I was just telling Dana that I’ll take a few nights off work and try to catch this guy.”

  “Good deal!”

  “And I mentioned about tomorrow night,” Dana added.

  “Ah. Yeah.” Tuck twisted the screw deeper. “Dana’s gonna try the tour.”

  “So she tells me.”

  “How about you, Eve? Wanta come along, too?”

  “Wouldn’t mind. You sure there’s room?”

  “For you, there’s always room. Just make sure you wear your uniform.” She grunted and tugged, legs squeezing the bottle hard, tremors shaking her body. “The guests... love it.” With a sucking pomp!, the cork sprang out. Tuck’s arm leaped high. “Got it!”