Complete Works of L. Frank Baum

by L. Frank Baum

  “Two bees?” said the Hungry Tiger, yawning. “Why, I ate one of them and the Cowardly Lion ate the other.”

  “Goodness gracious!” cried Dorothy horrified.

  “It was little enough for our lunch,” remarked the Tiger, “but the bees were the only things we could find.”

  “How dreadful!” wailed Dorothy, wringing her hands in despair. “You’ve eaten Trot and Cap’n Bill.”

  But just then she heard a buzzing overhead and two bees alighted on her shoulder.

  “Here we are,” said a small voice in her ear. “I’m Trot, Dorothy.”

  “And I’m Cap’n Bill,” said the other bee.

  Dorothy almost fainted, with relief, and the Wizard, who was close by and had heard the tiny voices, gave a laugh and said:

  “You are not the only two bees in the forest, it seems, but I advise you to keep away from the Lion and the Tiger until you regain your proper forms.”

  “Do it now, Wizard!” advised Dorothy. “They’re so small that you never can tell what might happen to ‘em.”

  So the Wizard gave the command and pronounced the Magic Word, and in the instant Trot and Cap’n Bill stood beside them as natural as before they had met their fearful adventure. For they were no longer small in size, because the Wizard had transformed them from bumblebees into the shapes and sizes that nature had formerly given them. The ugly roots on their feet had disappeared with the transformation.

  While Dorothy was hugging Trot, and Trot was softly crying because she was so happy, the Wizard shook hands with Cap’n Bill and congratulated him on his escape. The old sailor-man was so pleased that he also shook the Lion’s paw and took off his hat and bowed politely to the cage of monkeys.

  Then Cap’n Bill did a curious thing. He went to a big tree and, taking out his knife, cut away a big, broad piece of thick bark. Then he sat down on the ground and after taking a roll of stout cord from his pocket — which seemed to be full of all sorts of things — he proceeded to bind the flat piece of bark to the bottom of his good foot, over the leather sole.

  “What’s that for?” inquired the Wizard.

  “I hate to be stumped,” replied the sailor-man; “so I’m goin’ back to that island.”

  “And get enchanted again?” exclaimed Trot, with evident disapproval.

  “No; this time I’ll dodge the magic of the island. I noticed that my wooden leg didn’t get stuck, or take root, an’ neither did the glass feet of the Glass Cat. It’s only a thing that’s made of meat — like man an’ beasts — that the magic can hold an’ root to the ground. Our shoes are leather, an’ leather comes from a beast’s hide. Our stockin’s are wool, an’ wool comes from a sheep’s back. So, when we walked on the Magic Isle, our feet took root there an’ held us fast. But not my wooden leg. So now I’ll put a wooden bottom on my other foot an’ the magic can’t stop me.”

  “But why do you wish to go back to the island?” asked Dorothy.

  “Didn’t you see the Magic Flower in the gold flower-pot?” returned Cap’n Bill.

  “Of course I saw it, and it’s lovely and wonderful.”

  “Well, Trot an’ I set out to get the magic plant for a present to Ozma on her birthday, and I mean to get it an’ take it back with us to the Emerald City.”

  “That would be fine,” cried Trot eagerly, “if you think you can do it, and it would be safe to try!”

  “I’m pretty sure it is safe, the way I’ve fixed my foot,” said the sailor, “an’ if I SHOULD happen to get caught, I s’pose the Wizard could save me again.”

  “I suppose I could,” agreed the Wizard. “Anyhow, if you wish to try it, Cap’n Bill, go ahead and we’ll stand by and watch what happens.”

  So the sailor-man got upon the raft again and paddled over to the Magic Isle, landing as close to the golden flower-pot as he could. They watched him walk across the land, put both arms around the flower-pot and lift it easily from its place. Then he carried it to the raft and set it down very gently. The removal did not seem to affect the Magic Flower in any way, for it was growing daffodils when Cap’n Bill picked it up and on the way to the raft it grew tulips and gladioli. During the time the sailor was paddling across the river to where his friends awaited him, seven different varieties of flowers bloomed in succession on the plant.

  “I guess the Magician who put it on the island never thought that any one would carry it off,” said Dorothy.

  “He figured that only men would want the plant, and any man who went upon the island to get it would be caught by the enchantment,” added the Wizard.

  “After this,” remarked Trot, “no one will care to go on the island, so it won’t be a trap any more.”

  “There,” exclaimed Cap’n Bill, setting down the Magic Plant in triumph upon the river bank, “if Ozma gets a better birthday present than that, I’d like to know what it can be!”

  “It’ll s’prise her, all right,” declared Dorothy, standing in awed wonder before the gorgeous blossoms and watching them change from yellow roses to violets.

  “It’ll s’prise ev’rybody in the Em’rald City,” Trot asserted in glee, “and it’ll be Ozma’s present from Cap’n Bill and me.”

  “I think I ought to have a little credit,” objected the Glass Cat. “I discovered the thing, and led you to it, and brought the Wizard here to save you when you got caught.”

  “That’s true,” admitted Trot, “and I’ll tell Ozma the whole story, so she’ll know how good you’ve been.”

  20. The Monkeys Have Trouble

  “Now,” said the Wizard, “we must start for home. But how are we going to carry that big gold flower-pot? Cap’n Bill can’t lug it all the way, that’s certain.”

  “No,” acknowledged the sailor-man; “it’s pretty heavy. I could carry it for a little while, but I’d have to stop to rest every few minutes.”

  “Couldn’t we put it on your back?” Dorothy asked the Cowardly Lion, with a good-natured yawn.

  “I don’t object to carrying it, if you can fasten it on,” answered the Lion.

  “If it falls off,” said Trot, “it might get smashed an’ be ruined.”

  “I’ll fix it,” promised Cap’n Bill. “I’ll make a flat board out of one of these tree trunks, an’ tie the board on the lion’s back, an’ set the flower-pot on the board.” He set to work at once to do this, but as he only had his big knife for a tool his progress was slow.

  So the Wizard took from his black bag a tiny saw that shone like silver and said to it:

  “Saw, Little Saw, come show your power;

  Make us a board for the Magic Flower.”

  And at once the Little Saw began to move and it sawed the log so fast that those who watched it work were astonished. It seemed to understand, too, just what the board was to be used for, for when it was completed it was flat on top and hollowed beneath in such a manner that it exactly fitted the Lion’s back.

  “That beats whittlin’!” exclaimed Cap’n Bill, admiringly. “You don’t happen to have TWO o’ them saws; do you, Wizard?”

  “No,” replied the Wizard, wiping the Magic Saw carefully with his silk handkerchief and putting it back in the black bag. “It’s the only saw of its kind in the world; and if there were more like it, it wouldn’t be so wonderful.”

  They now tied the board on the Lion’s back, flat side up, and Cap’n Bill carefully placed the Magic Flower on the board.

  “For fear o’ accidents,” he said, “I’ll walk beside the Lion and hold onto the flower-pot.”

  Trot and Dorothy could both ride on the back of the Hungry Tiger, and between them they carried the cage of monkeys. But this arrangement left the Wizard, as well as the sailor, to make the journey on foot, and so the procession moved slowly and the Glass Cat grumbled because it would take so long to get to the Emerald City.

  The Cat was sour-tempered and grumpy, at first, but before they had journeyed far, the crystal creature had discovered a fine amusement. The long tails of the monkeys were constantly sti
cking through the bars of their cage, and when they did, the Glass Cat would slyly seize the tails in her paws and pull them. That made the monkeys scream, and their screams pleased the Glass Cat immensely. Trot and Dorothy tried to stop this naughty amusement, but when they were not looking the Cat would pull the tails again, and the creature was so sly and quick that the monkeys could seldom escape. They scolded the Cat angrily and shook the bars of their cage, but they could not get out and the Cat only laughed at them.

  After the party had left the forest and were on the plains of the Munchkin Country, it grew dark, and they were obliged to make camp for the night, choosing a pretty place beside a brook. By means of his magic the Wizard created three tents, pitched in a row on the grass and nicely fitted with all that was needful for the comfort of his comrades. The middle tent was for Dorothy and Trot, and had in it two cosy white beds and two chairs. Another tent, also with beds and chairs, was for the Wizard and Cap’n Bill, while the third tent was for the Hungry Tiger, the Cowardly Lion, the cage of Monkeys and the Glass Cat. Outside the tents the Wizard made a fire and placed over it a magic kettle from which he presently drew all sorts of nice things for their supper, smoking hot.

  After they had eaten and talked together for a while under the twinkling stars, they all went to bed and the people were soon asleep. The Lion and the Tiger had almost fallen asleep, too, when they were roused by the screams of the monkeys, for the Glass Cat was pulling their tails again. Annoyed by the uproar, the Hungry Tiger cried: “Stop that racket!” and getting sight of the Glass Cat, he raised his big paw and struck at the creature. The cat was quick enough to dodge the blow, but the claws of the Hungry Tiger scraped the monkey’s cage and bent two of the bars.

  Then the Tiger lay down again to sleep, but the monkeys soon discovered that the bending of the bars would allow them to squeeze through. They did not leave the cage, however, but after whispering together they let their tails stick out and all remained quiet. Presently the Glass Cat stole near the cage again and gave a yank to one of the tails. Instantly the monkeys leaped through the bars, one after another, and although they were so small the entire dozen of them surrounded the Glass Cat and clung to her claws and tail and ears and made her a prisoner. Then they forced her out of the tent and down to the banks of the stream. The monkeys had noticed that these banks were covered with thick, slimy mud of a dark blue color, and when they had taken the Cat to the stream, they smeared this mud all over the glass body of the cat, filling the creature’s ears and eyes with it, so that she could neither see nor hear. She was no longer transparent and so thick was the mud upon her that no one could see her pink brains or her ruby heart.

  In this condition they led the pussy back to the tent and then got inside their cage again.

  By morning the mud had dried hard on the Glass Cat and it was a dull blue color throughout. Dorothy and Trot were horrified, but the Wizard shook his head and said it served the Glass Cat right for teasing the monkeys.

  Cap’n Bill, with his strong hands, soon bent the golden wires of the monkeys’ cage into the proper position and then he asked the Wizard if he should wash the Glass Cat in the water of the brook.

  “Not just yet,” answered the Wizard. “The Cat deserves to be punished, so I think I’ll leave that blue mud — which is as bad as paint — upon her body until she gets to the Emerald City. The silly creature is so vain that she will be greatly shamed when the Oz people see her in this condition, and perhaps she’ll take the lesson to heart and leave the monkeys alone hereafter.”

  However, the Glass Cat could not see or hear, and to avoid carrying her on the journey the Wizard picked the mud out of her eyes and ears and Dorothy dampened her handkerchief and washed both the eyes and ears clean.

  As soon as she could speak the Glass Cat asked indignantly: “Aren’t you going to punish those monkeys for playing such a trick on me?”

  “No,” answered the Wizard. “You played a trick on them by pulling their tails, so this is only tit-for-tat, and I’m glad the monkeys had their revenge.”

  He wouldn’t allow the Glass Cat to go near the water, to wash herself, but made her follow them when they resumed their journey toward the Emerald City.

  “This is only part of your punishment,” said the Wizard, severely. “Ozma will laugh at you, when we get to her palace, and so will the Scarecrow, and the Tin Woodman, and Tik-Tok, and the Shaggy Man, and Button-Bright, and the Patchwork Girl, and — ”

  “And the Pink Kitten,” added Dorothy.

  That suggestion hurt the Glass Cat more than anything else. The Pink Kitten always quarreled with the Glass Cat and insisted that flesh was superior to glass, while the Glass Cat would jeer at the Pink Kitten, because it had no pink brains. But the pink brains were all daubed with blue mud, just now, and if the Pink Kitten should see the Glass Cat in such a condition, it would be dreadfully humiliating.

  For several hours the Glass Cat walked along very meekly, but toward noon it seized an opportunity when no one was looking and darted away through the long grass. It remembered that there was a tiny lake of pure water near by, and to this lake the Cat sped as fast as it could go.

  The others never missed her until they stopped for lunch, and then it was too late to hunt for her.

  “I s’pect she’s gone somewhere to clean herself,” said Dorothy.

  “Never mind,” replied the Wizard. “Perhaps this glass creature has been punished enough, and we must not forget she saved both Trot and Cap’n Bill.”

  “After first leading ‘em onto an enchanted island,” added Dorothy. “But I think, as you do, that the Glass Cat is punished enough, and p’raps she won’t try to pull the monkeys’ tails again.”

  The Glass Cat did not rejoin the party of travelers. She was still resentful, and they moved too slowly to suit her, besides. When they arrived at the Royal Palace, one of the first things they saw was the Glass Cat curled up on a bench as bright and clean and transparent as ever. But she pretended not to notice them, and they passed her by without remark.

  21. The College of Athletic Arts

  Dorothy and her friends arrived at the Royal Palace at an opportune time, for Ozma was holding high court in her Throne Room, where Professor H. M. Wogglebug, T.E., was appealing to her to punish some of the students of the Royal Athletic College, of which he was the Principal.

  This College is located in the Munchkin Country, but not far from the Emerald City. To enable the students to devote their entire time to athletic exercises, such as boating, foot-ball, and the like, Professor Wogglebug had invented an assortment of Tablets of Learning. One of these tablets, eaten by a scholar after breakfast, would instantly enable him to understand arithmetic or algebra or any other branch of mathematics. Another tablet eaten after lunch gave a student a complete knowledge of geography. Another tablet made it possible for the eater to spell the most difficult words, and still another enabled him to write a beautiful hand. There were tablets for history, mechanics, home cooking and agriculture, and it mattered not whether a boy or a girl was stupid or bright, for the tablets taught them everything in the twinkling of an eye.

  This method, which is patented in the Land of Oz by Professor Wogglebug, saves paper and books, as well as the tedious hours devoted to study in some of our less favored schools, and it also allows the students to devote all their time to racing, base-ball, tennis and other manly and womanly sports, which are greatly interfered with by study in those Temples of Learning where Tablets of Learning are unknown.

  But it so happened that Professor Wogglebug (who had invented so much that he had acquired the habit) carelessly invented a Square-Meal Tablet, which was no bigger than your little finger-nail but contained, in condensed form, the equal of a bowl of soup, a portion of fried fish, a roast, a salad and a dessert, all of which gave the same nourishment as a square meal.

  The Professor was so proud of these Square-Meal Tablets that he began to feed them to the students at his college, instead of other food, but the bo
ys and girls objected because they wanted food that they could enjoy the taste of. It was no fun at all to swallow a tablet, with a glass of water, and call it a dinner; so they refused to eat the Square-Meal Tablets. Professor Wogglebug insisted, and the result was that the Senior Class seized the learned Professor one day and threw him into the river — clothes and all. Everyone knows that a wogglebug cannot swim, and so the inventor of the wonderful Square-Meal Tablets lay helpless on the bottom of the river for three days before a fisherman caught one of his legs on a fishhook and dragged him out upon the bank.

  The learned Professor was naturally indignant at such treatment, and so he brought the entire Senior Class to the Emerald City and appealed to Ozma of Oz to punish them for their rebellion.

  I do not suppose the girl Ruler was very severe with the rebellious boys and girls, because she had herself refused to eat the Square-Meal Tablets in place of food, but while she was listening to the interesting case in her Throne Room, Cap’n Bill managed to carry the golden flower-pot containing the Magic Flower up to Trot’s room without it being seen by anyone except Jellia Jamb, Ozma’s chief Maid of Honor, and Jellia promised not to tell.

  Also the Wizard was able to carry the cage of monkeys up to one of the top towers of the palace, where he had a room of his own, to which no one came unless invited. So Trot and Dorothy and Cap’n Bill and the Wizard were all delighted at the successful end of their adventure. The Cowardly Lion and the Hungry Tiger went to the marble stables behind the Royal Palace, where they lived while at home, and they too kept the secret, even refusing to tell the Wooden Sawhorse, and Hank the Mule, and the Yellow Hen, and the Pink Kitten where they had been.

  Trot watered the Magic Flower every day and allowed no one in her room to see the beautiful blossoms except her friends, Betsy Bobbin and Dorothy. The wonderful plant did not seem to lose any of its magic by being removed from its island, and Trot was sure that Ozma would prize it as one of her most delightful treasures.