Complete Works of L. Frank Baum

by L. Frank Baum

  “I ‘m in the elderberry bush, and I ‘ve scratched my eyes in again!” answered Solomon.

  When the people heard this they marvelled greatly at the wisdom of a man who knew how to scratch his eyes in after they were scratched out; and they lifted Solomon from the bush and carried him home, where they bound up the scratches and nursed him carefully until he was well again.

  And after that no one ever questioned the wond’rous wisdom of our wise man, and when he finally died, at a good old age, they built a great monument over his grave, and on one side of it were the words,

  “Solomon; the Man who was Wond’rous Wise.”

  and on the other side was a picture of a bramble-bush.

  What Jack Horner Did

  Little Jack Horner sat in a corner,

  Eating a Christmas pie;

  He put in his thumb and pulled out a plum

  And said, “What a good boy am I!”

  Little Jack Horner lived in an old, tumble-down house at the edge of a big wood; and there many generations of Horners had lived before him, and had earned their living by chopping wood. Jack’s father and mother were both dead, and he lived with his grandfather and grandmother, who took great pains to teach him all that a boy should know.

  They lived very comfortably and happily together until one day a great tree fell upon Grandpa Horner and crushed his legs; and from that time on he could not work at all, but had to be nursed and tended very carefully.

  This calamity was a great affliction to the Horners. Grandma Horner had a little money saved up in an old broken teapot that she kept in the cupboard, but that would not last them a great time, and when it was gone they would have nothing with which to buy food.

  “I ‘m sure I do n’t know what is to become of us,” she said to Jack, “for I am too old to work, and you are too young.” She always told her troubles to Jack now; small though he was, he was the only one she could talk freely with, since it would only bother the poor crippled grandfather to tell him how low the money was getting in the teapot.

  “It is true,” replied Jack, “that you are too old to work, for your rheumatism will barely allow you to care for the house and cook our meals; and there is grandpa to be tended. But I am not too young to work, grandma, and I shall take my little hatchet and go into the wood. I cannot cut the big trees, but I can the smaller ones, and I am sure I shall be able to pile up enough wood to secure the money we need for food.”

  “You are a good boy, dear,” said grandma Horner, patting his head lovingly, “but you are too young for the task. We must think of some other way to keep the wolf from the door.”

  But Jack was not shaken in his resolve, although he saw it was useless to argue further with his grandmother. So the next morning he rose very early and took his little axe and went into the wood to begin his work. There were a good many branches scattered about, and these he was able to cut with ease; and then he piled them up nicely to be sold when the wood-carter next came around. When dinner-time came he stopped long enough to eat some of the bread and cheese he had brought with him, and then he resumed his work.

  But scarcely had he chopped one branch when a faint cry from the wood arrested his attention. It seemed as if some one was shouting for help. Jack listened a moment, and again heard the cry.

  Without hesitation he seized his axe and ran toward the place from whence the cry had proceeded. The underbrush was very thick and the thorns caught in his clothing and held him back, but with the aid of his sharp little axe he overcame all difficulties and presently reached a place where the wood was more open.

  He paused here, for often he had been told by Grandpa Horner that there were treacherous bogs in this part of the wood, which were so covered with mosses and ferns that the ground seemed solid enough to walk upon. But woe to the unlucky traveler who stepped unawares upon their surface; for instantly he found himself caught by the clinging moist clay, to sink farther and farther into the bog until, swallowed up in the mire, he would meet a horrible death beneath its slimy surface. His grandfather had told him never to go near these terrible bogs, and Jack, who was an obedient boy, had always kept away from this part of the wood. But as he paused, again that despairing cry came to his ears, very near to him now, it seemed:

  “Help!”

  Forgetful of all save a desire to assist this unknown sufferer, Jack sprang forward with an answering cry, and only halted when he found himself upon the edge of a vast bog.

  “Where are you?” he then shouted.

  “Here!” answered a voice, and, looking down, Jack saw, a few feet away, the head and shoulders of a man. He had walked into the bog and sunk into its treacherous depths nearly to his waist, and, although he struggled bravely, his efforts only seemed to draw him farther down toward a frightful death.

  For a moment, filled with horror and dismay, Jack stood looking at the man. Then he remembered a story he had once heard of how a man had been saved from the bog.

  “Be quiet, sir!” he called to the unfortunate stranger; “save all your strength, and I may yet be able to rescue you.”

  He then ran to a tall sapling that stood near and began chopping away with his axe. The keen blade speedily cut through the young but tough wood, and, then Jack dragged it to the edge of the bog, and, exerting all his strength, pushed it out until the sapling was within reach of the sinking man.

  “Grab it, sir!” he called out, “and hold on tightly. It will keep you from sinking farther into the mire, and when you have gained more strength you may be able to pull yourself out.”

  “You are a brave boy,” replied the stranger, “and I shall do as you tell me.”

  It was a long and tedious struggle, and often Jack thought the stranger would despair and be unable to drag his body from the firm clutch of the bog; but little by little the man succeeded in drawing himself up by the sapling, and at last he was saved, and sank down exhausted upon the firm ground by Jack’s side.

  The boy then ran for some water that stood in a slough near by, and with this he bathed the stranger’s face and cooled his parched lips. Then he gave him the remains of his bread and cheese, and soon the gentleman became strong enough to walk with Jack’s help to the cottage at the edge of the wood.

  Grandma Horner was greatly surprised to see the strange man approaching, supported by her sturdy little grandson; but she ran to help him, and afterward gave him some old clothing of Grandpa Horner’s, to replace his own muddy garments. When the man had fully rested, she brewed him her last bit of tea, and by that time the stranger declared he felt as good as new.

  “Is this your son, ma’am?” he asked, pointing to Jack.

  “He is my grandson, sir,” answered the woman.

  “He is a good boy,” declared the stranger, “and a brave boy as well, for he has saved my life. I live far away in a big city, and have plenty of money. If you will give Jack to me I will take him home and educate him, and make a great man of him when he grows up.”

  Grandma Horner hesitated, for the boy was very dear to her and the pride of her old age; but Jack spoke up for himself.

  “I ‘ll not go,” he said, stoutly; “you are very kind, and mean well by me, but grandma and grandpa have only me to care for them now, and I must stay with them and cut the wood, and so keep them supplied with food.”

  The stranger said nothing more, but he patted Jack’s head kindly, and soon after left them and took the road to the city.

  The next morning Jack went to the wood again, and began chopping as bravely as before. And by hard work he cut a great deal of wood, which the wood-carter carried away and sold for him. The pay was not very much, to be sure, but Jack was glad that he was able to earn something to help his grandparents.

  And so the days passed rapidly away until it was nearly Christmas time, and now, in spite of Jack’s earnings, the money was very low indeed in the broken teapot.

  One day, just before Christmas, a great wagon drove up to the door of the little cottage, and in it was the
stranger Jack had rescued from the bog. The wagon was loaded with a store of good things which would add to the comfort of the aged pair and their grandson, including medicines for grandpa and rare teas for grandma, and a fine suit of clothes for Jack, who was just then away at work in the wood.

  When the stranger had brought all these things into the house, he asked to see the old teapot. Trembling with the excitement of their good fortune, Grandma Horner brought out the teapot, and the gentleman drew a bag from beneath his coat and filled the pot to the brim with shining gold pieces.

  “If ever you need more,” he said, “send to me, and you shall have all you wish to make you comfortable.”

  Then he told her his name, and where he lived, so that she might find him if need be, and then he drove away in the empty wagon before Grandma Horner had half finished thanking him.

  You can imagine how astonished and happy little Jack was when he returned from his work and found all the good things his kind benefactor had brought. Grandma Horner was herself so delighted that she caught the boy in her arms, and hugged and kissed him, declaring that his brave rescue of the gentleman had brought them all this happiness in their hour of need.

  “To-morrow is Christmas,” she said, “and we shall have an abundance with which to celebrate the good day. So I shall make you a Christmas pie, Jack dear, and stuff it full of plums, for you must have your share of our unexpected prosperity.”

  And Grandma Horner was as good as her word, and made a very delicious pie indeed for her darling grandson.

  And that is was how it came that

  ”Little Jack Horner sat in a corner

  Eating a Christmas pie;

  He put in his thumb and pulled out a plum

  And said, “What a good boy am I!

  And he was — a very good boy. Do n’t you think so?

  The Man in the Moon

  The Man in the Moon came tumbling down,

  And enquired the way to Norwich;

  He went by the south and burned his mouth

  With eating cold pease porridge!

  What! Have you never heard the story of the Man in the Moon? Then I must surely tell it, for it is very amusing, and there is not a word of truth in it.

  The Man in the Moon was rather lonesome, and often he peeked over the edge of the moon and looked down upon the earth and envied all the people who lived together, for he thought it must be vastly more pleasant to have companions to talk to than to be shut up in a big planet all by himself, where he had to whistle to keep himself company.

  One day he looked down and saw an alderman sailing up through the air towards him. This alderman was being translated (instead of being transported, owing to a misprint in the law) and as he came near the Man in the Moon called to him and said,

  “How is everything down on the earth?”

  “Everything is lovely,” replied the alderman, “and I would n’t leave it if I was not obliged to.”

  “What ‘s a good place to visit down there?” enquired the Man in the

  Moon.

  “Oh, Norwich is a mighty fine place,” returned the alderman, “and it ‘s famous for its pease porridge;” and then he sailed out of sight and left the Man in the Moon to reflect upon what he had said.

  The words of the alderman made him more anxious than ever to visit the earth, and so he walked thoughtfully home, and put a few lumps of ice in the stove to keep him warm, and sat down to think how he should manage the trip.

  You see, everything went by contraries in the Moon, and when the Man wished to keep warm he knocked off a few chunks of ice and put them in his stove; and he cooled his drinking water by throwing red-hot coals of fire into the pitcher. Likewise, when he became chilly he took off his hat and coat, and even his shoes, and so became warm; and in the hot days of summer he put on his overcoat to cool off.

  All of which seems very queer to you, no doubt; but it was n’t at all queer to the Man in the Moon, for he was accustomed to it.

  Well, he sat by his ice-cool fire and thought about his journey to the earth, and finally he decided the only way he could get there was to slide down a moonbeam.

  So he left the house and locked the door and put the key in his pocket, for he was uncertain how long he should be gone; and then he went to the edge of the moon and began to search for a good strong moonbeam.

  At last he found one that seemed rather substantial and reached right down to a pleasant-looking spot on the earth; and so he swung himself over the edge of the moon, and put both arms tight around the moonbeam and started to slide down. But he found it rather slippery, and in spite of all his efforts to hold on he found himself going faster and faster, so that just before he reached the earth he lost his hold and came tumbling down head over heels and fell plump into a river.

  The cool water nearly scalded him before he could swim out, but fortunately he was near the bank and he quickly scrambled upon the land and sat down to catch his breath.

  By that time it was morning, and as the sun rose its hot rays cooled him off somewhat, so that he began looking about curiously at all the strange sights and wondering where on earth he was.

  By and by a farmer came along the road by the river with a team of horses drawing a load of hay, and the horses looked so odd to the Man in the Moon that at first he was greatly frightened, never before having seen horses except from his home in the moon, from whence they looked a good deal smaller. But he plucked up courage and said to the farmer,

  “Can you tell me the way to Norwich, sir?”

  “Norwich?” repeated the farmer musingly; “I do n’t know exactly where it be, sir, but it ‘s somewhere away to the south.”

  “Thank you,” said the Man in the Moon. — But stop! I must not call him the Man in the Moon any longer, for of course he was now out of the moon; so I ‘ll simply call him the Man, and you ‘ll know by that which man I mean.

  Well, the Man in the — I mean the Man (but I nearly forgot what I have just said) — the Man turned to the south and began walking briskly along the road, for he had made up his mind to do as the alderman had advised and travel to Norwich, that he might eat some of the famous pease porridge that was made there. And finally, after a long and tiresome journey, he reached the town and stopped at one of the first houses he came to, for by this time he was very hungry indeed.

  A good-looking woman answered his knock at the door, and he asked politely,

  “Is this the town of Norwich, madam?”

  “Surely this is the town of Norwich,” returned the woman.

  “I came here to see if I could get some pease porridge,” continued the Man, “for I hear you make I the nicest porridge in the world in this town.”

  “That we do, sir,” answered the woman, “and if you ‘ll step inside I ‘ll give you a bowl, for I have plenty in the house that is newly made.”

  So he thanked her and entered the house, and she asked,

  “Will you have it hot or cold, sir?”

  “Oh, cold, by all means,” replied the Man, “for I detest anything hot to eat.”

  She soon brought him a bowl of cold pease porridge, and the Man was so hungry that he took a big spoonful at once.

  But no sooner had he put it into his mouth than he uttered a great yell, and began dancing frantically about the room, for of course the porridge that was cold to earth folk was hot to him, and the big spoonful of cold pease porridge had burned his mouth to a blister!

  “What ‘s the matter?” asked the woman.

  “Matter!” screamed the Man; “why, your porridge is so hot it has burned me.”

  “Fiddlesticks!” she replied, “the porridge is quite cold.”

  “Try it yourself!” he cried. So she tried it and found it very cold and pleasant. But the Man was so astonished to see her eat the porridge that had blistered his own mouth that he became frightened and ran out of the house and down the street as fast as he could go.

  The policeman on the first corner saw him running, and promptly arr
ested him, and he was marched off to the magistrate for trial.

  “What is your name?” asked the magistrate.

  “I have n’t any,” replied the Man; for of course as he was the only

  Man in the Moon it was n’t necessary he should have a name.

  “Come, come, no nonsense!” said the magistrate, “you must have some name. Who are you?”

  “Why, I ‘m the Man in the Moon.”

  “That ‘s rubbish!” said the magistrate, eyeing the prisoner severely, “you may be a man, but you ‘re not in the moon-you ‘re in Norwich.”

  “That is true,” answered the Man, who was quite bewildered by this idea.

  “And of course you must be called something,” continued the magistrate.

  “Well, then,” said the prisoner, “if I ‘m not the Man in the Moon I must be the Man out of the Moon; so call me that.”

  “Very good,” replied the judge; “now, then, where did you come from?”

  “The moon.”

  “Oh, you did, eh? How did you get here?”

  “I slid down a moonbeam.”

  “Indeed! Well, what were you running for?”

  “A woman gave me some cold pease porridge, and it burned my mouth.”

  The magistrate looked at him a moment in surprise, and then he said,

  “This person is evidently crazy; so take him to the lunatic asylum and keep him there.”

  This would surely have been the fate of the Man had there not been present an old astronomer who had often looked at the moon through his telescope, and so had discovered that what was hot on earth was cold in the moon, and what was cold here was hot there; so he began to think the Man had told the truth. Therefore he begged the magistrate to wait a few minutes while he looked through his telescope to see if the Man in the Moon was there. So, as it was now night, he fetched his telescope and looked at the Moon, — and found there was no man in it at all!

  “It seems to be true,” said the astronomer, “that the Man has got out of the Moon somehow or other. Let me look at your mouth, sir, and see if it is really burned.”

  Then the Man opened his mouth, and everyone saw plainly it was burned to a blister! Thereupon the magistrate begged his pardon for doubting his word, and asked him what he would like to do next.