Complete Works of L. Frank Baum

by L. Frank Baum

  “I know,” replied Kwa, nodding his head; “we’re to have stewed horse for dinner tonight, and I’m very fond of the dish the way mother cooks it.”

  “Horses are getting quite scarce,” sighed the Littlest Giant. “We have eaten so many of them that the poor humans are now obliged to ride around in automobiles. Unfortunately, when the horses are gone, we cannot eat the automobiles.”

  “But tell me,” begged the boy giant, “what did you mean by saying the humans eat mince pie?”

  “I meant what I said. Mince pies, I am reliably informed, are their favorite diet.”

  “You didn’t read it in the newspapers?”

  “No, indeed; I believe it is true.”

  “And what sort of an animal is a mince pie?” inquired the curious Kwa.

  “No one can ever tell,” said Nibble, “for to trace a mince pie back to its origin is almost impossible. I must tell you, Kwa, that the pie consists of two crusts, between which is placed a compound of chopped meats and various other dainties, including raisins, plums and apples. The pie is then baked in an oven and eaten when it is fresh baked.”

  “A mince pie sounds very nice, Nibble;” said Kwa, smacking his lips. “I would greatly like to taste one of them.”

  The Littlest Giant gave the boy giant a shrewd look and replied: “One would scarcely be a taste for a giant, but a couple of dozen would make a nice mouthful. Isn’t it sad that those miserable, tiny humans have so many delicious things to eat, while we poor giants must hunt like wild beasts to secure enough food to keep us alive? That is why we eat the humans when we can catch them, for if they eat their mince pies, and we eat them, we are likely to get an enchanting flavor of the pies.”

  “We do not catch many humans,” said Kwa, “and I would prefer their pies at first hand. Is there no way for us to get some of them, Nibble?”

  Now this was the very question the cunning Nibble had been leading the boy to ask, but at that moment Queen Lazyliz espied them from the castle window, which was only nine miles from where they stood, and came running out of the door toward them.

  “Here comes your mother to drive me away,” whispered the Littlest Giant. “Come to my cave when you have a chance, Kwa, and we will talk further about the mince pies.”

  Lazyliz arrived, swinging in her hand a rolling-pin as big around as a live-oak tree and shouting the while:

  “Clear out of here, Nibble; quick! What do you mean, you disgraceful dwarf, by daring to speak to the royal Prince?”

  Nibble did not wait to reply but ran away so fast that the ground trembled under the weight of his feet and the people in the valley said to one another: “The giants are getting uneasy; let’s sharpen our spears, for fear they may come down on us.”

  Prince Kwa was not surprised at his mother’s display of anger, because he knew all the big giants were constantly chasing the Littlest Giant away, whenever he came near to their dwellings; but the boy did not dislike Nibble because he was so near to the prince’s own size, and that very afternoon he stole away from the castle and went to Nibble’s cave.

  Nibble had been sitting on a rock and waiting for the boy giant, and while he sat there his clever brain was thinking out a way to be revenged for all the insults he had suffered because of his size. It wasn’t Nibble’s fault that he was the Littlest Giant, yet all the big giants felt ashamed of him and called him a disgrace to their gigantic race. Nibble would sit on that rock in his isolated cave until he grew so lonely that he could bear it no longer, and then he would go to visit some of the other giants and be scolded and chased away from their homes. Their harsh words and cruel blows were a relief from his loneliness, for they furnished him with variety, so he accepted them as graciously as he could; but years of this uncomfortable life had finally made Nibble resentful and that was why he now decided to use Kwa to his own advantage.

  “Down in the Second Valley;” he said to the boy giant, when they were seated together in Nibble’s cave, “there lives a human baker who makes a hundred mince pies every day. You and I could go there some day — for it is only two hundred miles and we could walk that distance in half an hour — and seize the hundred pies and return here with them in our pockets. Then we could devour the delicious morsels at our ease and not a giant on the mountain would know anything about it.”

  “Let’s do it, Nibble!” cried Kwa, eagerly. “Let’s go tomorrow.”

  “We could easily get those pies,” continued the cunning Nibble, speaking slowly, “if we had just one thing to assist us. But that one thing we have not got.”

  “What is it?” inquired the boy giant.

  “Your father’s Golden Dart.”

  Kwa was greatly disappointed when he heard that, for the Golden Dart was the most precious thing King Goola possessed and he never let anyone but himself touch it. The Golden Dart was the magic weapon which enabled the great giant to defeat all his foes and secure food for himself and his family. Whenever he left the mountain he carried the Golden Dart in his pocket, and when he cast it at an elephant or a human being or any other living thing, he would say:

  “Fly away without delay; Quickly slay the giant’s prey!” and the Golden Dart would slip through the air with the swiftness of the wind and pierce the heart of the giant’s victim. Then it would whirl around and come straight back to the giant’s hand, in readiness to be used again. If he wished to slay an enemy King Goola would say:

  “Swiftly go; carry woe To my foe and lay him low!” and the Golden Dart would obey and kill the giant’s enemy before he could come near enough to fight Goola. It was no wonder the giant King prized his Golden Dart and guarded it jealously.

  Now, Prince Kwa was only a boy and his knowledge was small and his judgement not developed. He was very sorry that Nibble needed his father’s Golden Dart for the proposed adventure, because he had set his heart on testing those mince pies and like all human boys he wanted what he wanted when he wanted it and did not like to be denied.

  “I am sure my father will not let us take his Golden Dart,’ he said to Nibble.

  “So am I,” returned the Littlest Giant, “if we ask him for it.” He gave Kwa time to think over this suggestion before he continued: “We could go to the valley in half an hour, seize the mince pies in five minutes and return here in another half hour. An hour and five minutes altogether. Why, Kwa, your father often sleeps for three whole hours, when he takes his afternoon nap.”

  “That is true,” agreed the boy giant.

  “When he goes to sleep you might steal into his room, take the Golden Dart and bring it here to me. Then we would go for the mince pies — I’m sure you will find them the most delicious food in all the world! — and on our return you will carry the Golden Dart to your father’s room and lay it beside him while he still sleeps. He will never know we have used it and no harm will be done.”

  Kwa hesitated, for it was a daring thing to steal the King’s magic weapon, even for an hour and five minutes, and he was afraid the theft would be discovered and he would be soundly beaten. Kwa remembered how hard old Goola struck when he was angry and the boy shuddered to think of the pommeling he would receive if caught in so bold an act of pilfering. Yet he wanted the mince pies.

  “I’ll think it over, Nibble,” said he, getting up to go.

  “All right,” answered the Littlest Giant, in a cheerful tone; “if you don’t wish to borrow the Dart, for an hour or so, we will say nothing more about those mince pies. They have a wonderful fragrance, and to smell them is almost as delightful as to eat them; however, unless we borrow the Dart for a brief space of time we shall never get near enough to the pies to even smell them.”

  Kwa walked slowly home and arrived in time for dinner, but all the while he ate of the stewed horses he thought of the mince pies and he gazed upon the Golden Dart which his father always carried stuck in his belt with longing eye. Goola the Glutton was cross that evening, because one of the horses proved tough, being of a great age when it was killed, and he boxed Kwa’
s ears so soundly — without any cause whatever — that the humans down in the valley below heard the sound and mistook it for thunder.

  Kwa was angry with his father, but more afraid than ever to steal the Golden Dart. Next morning he went to Nibble’s cave and told him he dared not take the weapon, because if his father chanced to waken and found it missing he would beat Kwa so cruelly that the boy’s flesh would be tender and sore for a month to come.

  “I have been thinking of that,” said the Littlest Giant, and going to a corner of his cave he brought forth a Golden Dart, which he held up before the eye of the wondering boy.

  “When did you steal it?” asked Kwa.

  “I didn’t steal it; I made it,” answered Nibble, laughing. “This Dart is gilded wood, instead of gold, and it has no magic power whatever. But it looks exactly like your father’s enchanted weapon and even Goola couldn’t tell the difference unless he tried to use it.”

  “But what is it good for?” inquired the boy giant.

  “You will stick this in your father’s belt when you take the magic Dart from him as he sleeps. If by chance he wakens while you are gone for the mince pies, he will think his Golden Dart is safe, and go to sleep again. In this way you will be safe from suspicion and whatever happens you will escape a beating.”

  Kwa was delighted with the Littlest Giant’s cleverness. He took the Dart and concealed it in his sleeve and then went back to the castle of his father, the giant King.

  Old Goola the Glutton ate a hearty luncheon of elephant steak — sliced thin and fried in perfumed fat- — and then he grew sleepy and lay down for his afternoon nap. Queen Lazyliz cleared the table and went into the kitchen to wash the dishes and while she was engaged in this task Kwa heard his father snoring lustily. The towers of the castle trembled with the sound, as if an earthquake had shaken them, and the boy giant stole quietly into Goola’s bedroom and crept up beside him. When the giant drew in his breath, the Golden Dart was held tight; when he let out his breath, the Dart became loose. Noticing this, Kwa watched his chance and in one breath removed the Golden Dart from the belt and in the next breath replaced it with the imitation Dart. Then he softly left the room and the castle and ran to the cave of the Littlest Giant.

  “Here it is!” he cried, panting as he held up the magic weapon.

  Nibble’s eye sparkled in his forehead, but he restrained his eager joy and said in a composed voice:

  “Very good; let us be off at once, Kwa. And since your courage has made the trip possible I will give you two mince pies for every one I take myself. Are you sure this is the real Golden Dart?” he asked, extending his hand for it, as if to examine it.

  “Oh, yes,” replied Kwa, and having no suspicion of the Littlest Giant’s great plans he allowed him to take the Dart.

  Nibble’s hand trembled with suppressed excitement as he placed the powerful weapon in his own belt. It was this very Golden Dart which had enabled Goola to become King of the Giants, as well as to rule them with cruel and merciless sway, for all feared the enchanted weapon which could pierce their hearts the instant it was commanded to do so. Goola had once captured it from a famous magician of the Gillikins, and now Nibble had captured it from Goola by cleverly encouraging Prince Kwa to fill his stomach with mince pies. The Littlest Giant was good natured in his triumph and decided that the boy had earned his promised reward.

  Together they descended the mountain and reached the Second Valley, where stood the house of the baker. The man was terrified at beholding the two giants and fell on his knees and begged for mercy.

  “Bring forth every mince pie in your bakery!” commanded Nibble, and the baker obeyed at once. There were ninety-three of them, for he had already sold seven of his morning’s baking, and the giants filled their pockets with the pastry, taking the tins in which they were baked as well as the pies. Then they let the baker go unharmed and returned to the mountain. They reached Nibble’s cave in exactly one hour and five minutes from the time they had left it; but Kwa said: “We did not need the Golden Dart, after all!”

  “True,” replied the Littlest Giant; “but we might have needed it.”

  While Kwa sat on the rock devouring the mince pies, which he thought very nice but not quite so good as Nibble had described them, the Littlest Giant went to the back of his cave and, quite unobserved by the boy, replaced the Golden Dart in his belt with another gilded wooden one, for he had made two imitations. Then he hid the real magic weapon in a crevice of rock and returned to Kwa, who had just finished eating his share of the pies, so that the floor of the cave was all littered with tins.

  “You must run home and replace the Golden Dart before your father wakens,” he said to the boy, drawing the imitation one from his belt and handing it to him.

  Kwa ran home and found Goola still asleep; so he managed to exchange the darts without wakening the Giant King. Nibble had warned him to destroy the wooden dart, so Kwa managed to thrust it unobserved into the kitchen fire, where it burned to ashes.

  At dinner he saw his father appear, with the Dart stuck in his belt, and the boy was content in the belief that his trick had not been discovered. Kwa had eaten so many mince pies that he had no appetite for roast elephant, and his failure to eat so provoked his father that he boxed his son’s ears again, not knowing that this time the punishment was deserved.

  A day or two afterward, the elephants and horses being now devoured, King Goola started upon another hunting trip. He tramped six hundred miles or so and came upon a herd of fierce rhinoceri. Taking the Dart from his belt he said:

  “Fly away without delay; Quickly slay the giant’s prey!”

  Then he cast the dart toward a distant bull rhinoceros, but it only flew a few feet and dropped to the ground.

  Goola was amazed. He tried it again, but the dart would not fly because it was made of wood and had no magic power. Then Goola became frightened, not knowing why the dart had failed him, and he turned around to go home again. But in two steps he encountered an army of the humans, who were armed with sharp spears and had lain in wait to capture this cruel giant, who had killed so many men and horses.

  Goals started to retreat, but the rhinoceri were now chasing him in a great band on one side and the army of humans was advancing on the other side, so that in less than five minutes Goola was a lifeless giant — one less of the dreadful race that had terrorized the people for ages.

  When Goola failed to return the giants of the mountain called a meeting to elect a new king, and some were in favor of a fierce giant named Polycrimus and some favored the boy Kwa, the son of their former king. But, to the astonishment of all, the Littlest Giant stood up and declared he would be the King, saying that if any dared oppose him he would slay them without mercy.

  So accustomed were they all to sneer at Nibble that they paid little heed to his threats until, by means of the Golden Dart, he had killed all the biggest and strongest of the tribe — making that many less to terrorize the peaceful inhabitants of the valleys. The others reluctantly submitted to the conqueror and the Littlest Giant became King.

  “I think I will live in Goola’s castle,” he said, and so Lazyliz and the boy Kwa were obliged to move into the cave where Nibble used to reside.

  After that all bowed low to the Littlest Giant and feared the magic power of his Golden Dart. Lazyliz could never understand how Nibble got the Dart, for Kwa did not tell, being too ashamed, and Nibble did not tell, being too shrewd. But all knew that as long as Nibble possessed the enchanted talisman he would remain King.

  “Which proves,” said the former queen to her son, the former prince, “that cleverness is worth more than size and strength.”

  “And it also proves,” said Kwa to himself, “that it is unwise to deceive one’s own father, or to steal what another values. For when I borrowed the Golden Dart I won, indeed, a lot of mince pies, which were soon gone; but I lost a father and a throne and am now condemned to pass my life in a cave, to atone for my fault.”

  Which pr
oves, in addition to the above, that Kwa was beginning — too late, perhaps — to learn wisdom.

  Thereafter, he spent many days amusing himself by spinning tin pie plates down from the mountain into the valleys below, until those reminders of his evil deed no longer cluttered the floor of the cave.

  The Short Stories

  LIST OF SHORT STORIES IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

  SHE REMARKS EMPHATICALLY ON SOME TIMELY AND TRUTHFUL TOPICS

  SHE REMONSTRATES ON THE GIDDINESS OF CHURCH SOCIALS

  SHE GOES TO A BALL AND LETS A CAT OUT OF THE BAG

  SHE OUTDOES NELLIE BLY AND MAKES A TRIP AROUND ABERDEEN IN 72 MINUTES AND 6 SECONDS

  SHE INSISTS ON HER BOARDERS KEEPING LENT, WITH INDIFFERENT SUCCESS

  SHE GETS A LETTER FROM HER BROTHER IN HARRIMAN THAT NEARLY BREAKS UP THE ESTABLISHMENT

  SHE DABBLES IN POLITICS AND ASPIRES TO A GREAT OFFICE

  SHE WORRIES OVER SEED WHEAT, AND GETS LECTURED BY THE BOARDERS

  SHE DISCUSSES THE DISADVANTAGES OF PROHIBITION, AND INVENTS A NEW METHOD OF BAKING PIES

  SHE MAKES A TERRIBLE MISTAKE AND QUOTES A PROVERB

  SHE TELLS WHY FARMERS SHOULD BE HAPPY AND DISPLAYS REMARKABLE FORETHOUGHT

  SHE ASPIRES TO RIVAL ELLA WHEELER WILCOX AND CONCOCTS ANOTHER SCHEME

  SHE LECTURES THE BOARDERS FOR UNSEEMLY CONDUCT AND FEEDS THEM A GREEN APPLE PIE

  HER EXPERIENCES IN ATTEMPTING TO PHOTOGRAPH A BABY, AND THE SEVERE MENTAL STRAIN THAT ENSUED

  SHE DISCOURSES ON MANY TOPICS AND TELLS HOW ALLEY DEALS OUT THE CORN

  SHE GIVES AWAY THE INITIATION CEREMONIES OF THE UNITED WORKMEN AND HAS A FRUITLESS SEARCH FOR THE CHIEF OF POLICE