The Color Purple Collection

by Alice Walker

  What you building? I ast.

  Jukejoint, he say.

  Way back here?

  No further back than any of the others.

  I don’t know nothing bout no others, only bout the Lucky Star.

  Jukejoint sposed to be back in the woods, say Harpo. Nobody be bothered by the loud music. The dancing. The fights.

  Swain say, the killings.

  Harpo say, and the polices don’t know where to look.

  What Sofia gon say bout what you doing to her house? I ast. Spose she and the children come back. Where they gon sleep.

  They ain’t coming back, say Harpo, nailing together planks for a counter.

  How you know? I ast.

  He don’t answer. He keep working, doing every thing with Swain.

  DEAR GOD,

  The first week, nobody come. Second week, three or four. Third week, one. Harpo sit behind his little counter listening to Swain pick his box.

  He got cold drinks, he got barbecue, he got chitlins, got store bought bread. He got a sign saying Harpo’s tacked up on the side of the house and another one out on the road. But he ain’t got no customers.

  I go down the path to the yard, stand outside, look in. Harpo look out and wave.

  Come on in, Miss Celie, he say.

  I say, Naw thank you.

  Mr. _____ sometime walk down, have a cold drink, listen to Swain. Miss Shug walk down too, every once in a while. She still wearing her little shifts, and I still cornrow her hair, but it getting long now and she say soon she want it press.

  Harpo puzzle by Shug. One reason is she say whatever come to mind, forgit about polite. Sometime I see him staring at her real hard when he don’t think I’m looking.

  One day he say, Nobody coming way out here just to hear Swain. Wonder could I get the Queen Honeybee?

  I don’t know, I said. She a lot better now, always humming or singing something. She probably be glad to git back to work. Why don’t you ask her?

  Shug say his place not much compared to what she used to, but she think maybe she might grace it with a song.

  Harpo and Swain got Mr. ____ to give ’em some of Shug old announcements from out the trunk. Crossed out The Lucky Star of Coalman Road, put in Harpo’s of _____ plantation. Stuck ’em on trees tween the turn off to our road and town. The first Saturday night so many folks come they couldn’t git in.

  Shug, Shug baby, us thought you was dead.

  Five out of a dozen say hello to Shug like that.

  And come to find out it was you, Shug say with a big grin.

  At last I git to see Shug Avery work. I git to watch her. I git to hear her.

  Mr. _____ didn’t want me to come. Wives don’t go to places like that, he say.

  Yeah, but Celie going, say Shug, while I press her hair. Spose I git sick while I’m singing, she say. Spose my dress come undone? She wearing a skintight red dress look like the straps made out of two pieces of thread.

  Mr. _____ mutter, putting on his clothes. My wife can’t do this. My wife can’t do that. No wife of mines... He go on and on.

  Shug Avery finally say, Good thing I ain’t your damn wife.

  He hush then. All three of us go down to Harpo’s. Mr. _____ and me sit at the same table. Mr. _____ drink whiskey. I have a cold drink.

  First Shug sing a song by somebody name Bessie Smith. She say Bessie somebody she know. Old friend. It call A Good Man Is Hard to Find. She look over at Mr. _____ a little when she sing that. I look over at him too. For such a little man, he all puff up. Look like all he can do to stay in his chair. I look at Shug and I feel my heart begin to cramp. It hurt me so, I cover it with my hand. I think I might as well be under the table, for all they care. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I’m dress. Nothing but churchgoing clothes in my chifferobe. And Mr. _____ looking at Shug’s bright black skin in her tight red dress, her feet in little sassy red shoes. Her hair shining in waves.

  Before I know it, tears meet under my chin.

  And I’m confuse.

  He love looking at Shug. I love looking at Shug.

  But Shug don’t love looking at but one of us. Him.

  But that the way it spose to be. I know that. But if that so, why my heart hurt me so?

  My head droop so it near bout in my glass.

  Then I hear my name.

  Shug saying Celie. Miss Celie. And I look up where she at.

  She say my name again. She say this song I’m bout to sing is call Miss Celie’s song. Cause she scratched it out of my head when I was sick.

  First she hum it a little, like she do at home. Then she sing the words.

  It all about some no count man doing her wrong, again. But I don’t listen to that part. I look at her and I hum along a little with the tune.

  First time somebody made something and name it after me.

  DEAR GOD,

  Pretty soon it be time for Shug to go. She sing every week-end now at Harpo’s. He make right smart money off of her, and she make some too. Plus she gitting strong again and stout. First night or two her songs come out good but a little weak, now she belt them out. Folks out in the yard hear her with no trouble. She and Swain sound real good together. She sing, he pick his box. It nice at Harpo’s. Little tables all round the room with candles on them that I made, lot of little tables outside too, by the creek. Sometime I look down the path from our house and it look like a swarm of lightening bugs all in and through Sofia house. In the evening Shug can’t wait to go down there.

  One day she say to me, Well, Miss Celie, I believe it time for me to go.

  When? I ast.

  Early next month, she say. June. June a good time to go off into the world.

  I don’t say nothing. Feel like I felt when Nettie left.

  She come over and put her hand on my shoulder.

  He beat me when you not here, I say.

  Who do, she say, Albert?

  Mr. ____, I say.

  I can’t believe it, she say. She sit down on the bench next to me real hard, like she drop.

  What he beat you for? she ast.

  For being me and not you.

  Oh, Miss Celie, she say, and put her arms around me.

  Us sit like that for maybe half a hour. Then she kiss me on the fleshy part of my shoulder and stand up.

  I won’t leave, she say, until I know Albert won’t even think about beating you.

  DEAR GOD,

  Now we all know she going sometime soon, they sleep together at night. Not every night, but almost every night, from Friday to Monday.

  He go down to Harpo’s to watch her sing. And just to look at her. Then way late they come home. They giggle and they talk and they rassle until morning. Then they go to bed until it time for her to get ready to go back to work.

  First time it happen, it was a accident. Feeling just carried them away. That what Shug say. He don’t say nothing.

  She ast me, Tell me the truth, she say, do you mind if Albert sleep with me?

  I think, I don’t care who Albert sleep with. But I don’t say that.

  I say, You might git big again.

  She say, Naw, not with my sponge and all.

  You still love him, I ast.

  She say, I got what you call a passion for him. If I was ever going to have a husband he’d a been it. But he weak, she say. Can’t make up his mind what he want. And from what you tell me he a bully. Some things I love about him though, she say. He smell right to me. He so little. He make me laugh.

  You like to sleep with him? I ast.

  Yeah, Celie she say, I have to confess, I just love it. Don’t you?

  Naw, I say. Mr. _____ can tell you, I don’t like it at all.

  What is it like? He git up on you, heist your nightgown round your waist, plunge in. Most times I pretend I ain’t there. He never know the difference. Never ast me how I feel, nothing. Just do his business, get off, go to sleep.

  She start to laugh. Do his business, she say. Do his business. Why, Miss Celie. You make
it sound like he going to the toilet on you.

  That what it feel like, I say.

  She stop laughing.

  You never enjoy it at all? she ast, puzzle. Not even with your children daddy?

  Never, I say.

  Why Miss Celie, she say, you still a virgin.

  What? I ast.

  Listen, she say, right down there in your pussy is a little button that gits real hot when you do you know what with somebody. It git hotter and hotter and then it melt. That the good part. But other parts good too, she say. Lot of sucking go on, here and there, she say. Lot of finger and tongue work.

  Button? Finger and tongue? My face hot enough to melt itself.

  She say, Here, take this mirror and go look at yourself down there, I bet you never seen it, have you?

  Naw.

  And I bet you never seen Albert down there either.

  I felt him, I say.

  I stand there with the mirror.

  She say, What, too shame even to go off and look at yourself? And you look so cute too, she say, laughing. All dressed up for Harpo’s, smelling good and everything, but scared to look at your own pussy.

  You come with me while I look, I say.

  And us run off to my room like two little prankish girls.

  You guard the door, I say.

  She giggle. Okay, she say. Nobody coming. Coast clear.

  I lie back on the bed and haul up my dress. Yank down my bloomers. Stick the looking glass tween my legs. Ugh. All that hair. Then my pussy lips be black. Then inside look like a wet rose.

  It a lot prettier than you thought, ain’t it? she say from the door.

  It mine, I say. Where the button?

  Right up near the top, she say. The part that stick out a little.

  I look at her and touch it with my finger. A little shiver go through me. Nothing much. But just enough to tell me this the right button to mash. Maybe.

  She say, While you looking, look at your titties too. I haul up my dress and look at my titties. Think bout my babies sucking them. Remember the little shiver I felt then too. Sometimes a big shiver. Best part about having the babies was feeding ’em.

  Albert and Harpo coming, she say. And I yank up my drawers and yank down my dress. I feel like us been doing something wrong.

  I don’t care if you sleep with him, I say.

  And she take me at my word.

  I take me at my word too.

  But when I hear them together all I can do is pull the quilt over my head and finger my little button and titties and cry.

  DEAR GOD,

  One night while Shug singing a hot one, who should come prancing through the door of Harpo’s but Sofia.

  She with a big tall hefty man look like a prize fighter.

  She her usual stout and bouncy self.

  Oh, Miss Celie, she cry. It so good to see you again. It even good to see Mr. ____, she say. She take one of his hands. Even if his handshake is a little weak, she say.

  He act real glad to see her.

  Here, pull up a chair, he say. Have a cold drink.

  Gimme a shot of white lightening, she say.

  Prizefighter pull up a chair, straddle it backwards, hug on Sofia like they at home.

  I see Harpo cross the room with his little yellowskin girlfriend. He look at Sofia like she a hant.

  This Henry Broadnax, Sofia say. Everybody call him Buster. Good friend of the family.

  How you all? he say. He smile pleasant and us keep listening to the music. Shug wearing a gold dress that show her titties near bout to the nipple. Everybody sorta hoping something break. But that dress strong.

  Man oh man, say Buster. Fire department won’t do. Somebody call the Law.

  Mr. _____ whisper to Sofia. Where your children at?

  She whisper back, My children at home, where yours?

  He don’t say nothing.

  Both the girls bigged and gone. Bub in and out of jail. If his grandaddy wasn’t the colored uncle of the sheriff who look just like Bub, Bub be lynch by now.

  I can’t git over how good Sofia look.

  Most women with five children look a little peaked, I say to her cross the table when Shug finish her song. You look like you ready for five more.

  Oh, she say, I got six children now, Miss Celie.

  Six. I am shock.

  She toss her head, look over at Harpo. Life don’t stop just cause you leave home, Miss Celie. You know that.

  My life stop when I left home, I think. But then I think again. It stop with Mr. _____ maybe, but start up again with Shug.

  Shug come over and she and Sofia hug.

  Shug say, Girl, you look like a good time, you do.

  That when I notice how Shug talk and act sometimes like a man. Men say stuff like that to women, Girl, you look like a good time. Women always talk bout hair and health. How many babies living or dead, or got teef. Not bout how some woman they hugging on look like a good time.

  All the men got they eyes glued to Shug’s bosom. I got my eyes glued there too. I feel my nipples harden under my dress. My little button sort of perk up too. Shug, I say to her in my mind, Girl, you looks like a real good time, the Good Lord knows you do.

  What you doing here? ast Harpo.

  Sofia say, Come to hear Miss Shug. You got a nice place here Harpo. She look around. This and that her eyes admire.

  Harpo say, It just a scandless, a woman with five children hanging out in a jukejoint at night.

  Sofia eye go cool. She look him up and down.

  Since he quit stuffing himself, he gained a bunch of weight, face, head and all, mostly from drinking home brew and eating left-over barbecue. By now he just about her size.

  A woman need a little fun, once in a while, she say.

  A woman need to be at home, he say.

  She say, This is my home. Though I do think it go better as a jukejoint.

  Harpo look at the prize fighter. Prizefighter push back his chair a little, pick up his drink.

  I don’t fight Sofia battle, he say. My job to love her and take her where she want to go.

  Harpo breathe some relief.

  Let’s dance, he say.

  Sofia laugh, git up. Put both arms round his neck. They slow drag out cross the floor.

  Harpo little yellowish girlfriend sulk, hanging over the bar. She a nice girl, friendly and everything, but she like me. She do anything Harpo say.

  He give her a little nickname, too, call her Squeak.

  Pretty soon Squeak git up her nerve to try to cut in.

  Harpo try to turn Sofia so she can’t see. But Squeak keep on tapping and tapping on his shoulder.

  Finally he and Sofia stop dancing. They bout two feet from our table.

  Shug say, uh-oh, and point with her chin, something bout to blow right there.

  Who dis woman, say Squeak, in this little teenouncy voice.

  You know who she is, say Harpo.

  Squeak turn to Sofia. Say, You better leave him alone.

  Sofia say, Fine with me. She turn round to leave.

  Harpo grab her by the arm. Say, You don’t have to go no where. Hell, this your house.

  Squeak say, What you mean, Dis her house? She walk out on you. Walk away from the house. It over now, she say to Sofia.

  Sofia say, Fine with me. Try to pull away from Harpo grip. He hold her tight.

  Listen Squeak, say Harpo, Can’t a man dance with his own wife?

  Squeak say, Not if he my man he can’t. You hear that, bitch, she say to Sofia.

  Sofia gitting a little tired of Squeak, I can tell by her ears. They sort of push back. But she say again, sorta end of argument like, Hey, fine with me.

  Squeak slap her up cross the head.

  What she do that for. Sofia don’t even deal in little ladyish things such as slaps. She ball up her fist, draw back, and knock two of Squeak’s side teef out. Squeak hit the floor. One toof hanging on her lip, the other one upside my cold drink glass.

  Then Squeak start banging
on Harpo leg with her shoe.

  You git that bitch out a here, she cry, blood and slobber running down her chin.

  Harpo and Sofia stand side by side looking down at Squeak, but I don’t think they hear her. Harpo still holding Sofia arm. Maybe half a minute go by. Finally he turn loose her arm, reach down and cradle poor little Squeak in his arms. He coo and coo at her like she a baby.

  Sofia come over and git the prizefighter. They go out the door and don’t look back. Then us hear a car motor start.

  DEAR GOD,

  Harpo mope. Wipe the counter, light a cigarette, look outdoors, walk up and down. Little Squeak run long all up under him trying to git his tension. Baby this, she say, Baby that. Harpo look through her head, blow smoke.

  Squeak come over to the corner where me and Mr. _____ at. She got two bright gold teef in the side of her mouth, generally grin all the time. Now she cry. Miss Celie, she say, What the matter with Harpo?

  Sofia in jail, I say.

  In jail? She look like I say Sofia on the moon.

  What she in jail for? she ast.

  Sassing the mayor’s wife, I say.

  Squeak pull up a chair. Look down my throat.

  What your real name? I ast her. She say, Mary Agnes.

  Make Harpo call you by your real name, I say. Then maybe he see you even when he trouble.

  She look at me puzzle. I let it go. I tell her what one of Sofia sister tell me and Mr. ____.

  Sofia and the prizefighter and all the children got in the prizefighter car and went to town. Clam out on the street looking like somebody. Just then the mayor and his wife come by.

  All these children, say the mayor’s wife, digging in her pocketbook. Cute as little buttons though, she say. She stop, put her hand on one of the children head. Say, and such strong white teef.

  Sofia and the prizefighter don’t say nothing. Wait for her to pass. Mayor wait too, stand back and tap his foot, watch her with a little smile. Now Millie, he say. Always going on over colored. Miss Millie finger the children some more, finally look at Sofia and the prizefighter. She look at the prizefighter car. She eye Sofia wristwatch. She say to Sofia, All your children so clean, she say, would you like to work for me, be my maid?