Acceptance, The

by Bernadette Marie

  Courtney had been very careful to not talk about him too much outside the realm of the gala, but there must have been something that spoke volumes to her mother.

  Her mother searched for a dress for herself, though her mother didn’t seem as easy to please.

  “I’m worried I won’t look right,” she said after the fourth dress.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, this is a big thing. I mean I’ve seen it in the news for years. There are some very elite names there.”

  “Yes, that’s how the organization makes their money.”

  “I know. I just want to look right.”

  Courtney reached out her hand to touch her mother. “You will look just fine. Trust me. The people you are going to meet are very welcoming and accepting. Never could you look wrong to them.”

  “If they are anything like Tyler, I’m sure they will be very nice.”

  Courtney smiled. “You like him? Really?”

  “Oh, of course I do, honey. I think he’s a very nice young man.”

  “What if I told you I could see spending my life with him?”

  The room was quiet. Courtney had hit a nerve. “Well, that is a very long way away. Perhaps we could talk about that some other time. I’ll try on that blue dress. I did kind of like it best,” her mother said leaving her alone.”

  It wasn’t so far away, she wanted to tell her. There was a stink of emotion taking over. What had she really expected? She needed to be grateful enough that her mother liked him, perhaps when she met the whole family, she’d understand how amazing they all really were.

  Courtney tried not to let the single little thing her mother said upset her, but it was hard. That was until she walked through the front door of her house and smelled the aroma of grilled steaks and baked potatoes.

  Of course her mother had insisted on walking her inside. She wondered how this might go.

  “Who is here?” she asked the moment they walked in the door.

  “Who do you think, Mother.”

  “You’re home,” Tyler called from the kitchen and a moment later she felt him in the same room. “Oh, hello, Mrs. Field.”

  “Tyler.”

  “It’s very nice to see you see you.” He moved in, wrapped his arm around Courtney’s waist and kissed her softly on the cheek. “How was your day of shopping?”

  “It was wonderful,” her mother said. “I bought Courtney a beautiful dress for the gala, since it’s less formal than in the past.”

  Courtney felt the sting of her words, perhaps Tyler didn’t.

  “Yes, it’ll be family friendly and I think an enormous success,” he said and Courtney had to admit she loved how he handled things. “Courtney has written some amazing pieces for the media and for our event specific press kits.”

  “She always was good at dabbling in writing. Though nothing serious.”

  Courtney’s body tensed.

  “Oh, I don’t know. I’ve read many of her things and she’s got some amazing talent. When the gala is over, and we have some breathing room, my cousin’s husband Warner said he knew a few people who could look at her work. It’s very promising.” He gave her a squeeze to let her know he was on her side. “I’ve grilled some steaks and potatoes. Would you be able to join us, Mrs. Field?”

  Courtney wondered what he was doing. She certainly wasn’t in the mood for her mother any longer, which was sad, because they’d had the very best start to it.

  “Oh, Tyler, that’s very generous. I’d best be going.”

  “It was certainly nice to see you.” He let go of Courtney and she heard him walk to the door. Literally escorting her mother out.

  When the door closed, Courtney sighed as she heard him walk back toward her. “She wears me out.”

  “She’s out of sorts. Her son is gone and her daughter is moving on.”

  “Did you see how she belittled our event and my writing?”

  He smoothed his hands over her hair and kissed her on the forehead. “And did you see how it all doesn’t matter? You’re here. I’m here. I made dinner. Let’s eat.”

  The meal, Tyler thought, was fine. He was a good enough cook. But Courtney’s mind was preoccupied—obviously still irritated with her mother.

  This was new ground for him. As lost as he’d been over the truth about Darcy and what his mother had been through, he’d never really been irritated at her. Sure, annoyed when he’d gotten in trouble as a kid. Horrified when she’d caught him smoking with Jep out back when they were thirteen. Though that one made him want to laugh. The two of them had no idea what they were doing. But Jep had hijacked the cigarette from his dad and they were going to give it a try. Oh, was she ever mad.

  But never had she blatantly discredited him as Mary had done to Courtney in the few minutes she was in her home. If that was how Courtney had grown up—and Fitz too—it was no wonder why Courtney wanted to fight to be independent. Being blind wasn’t such a bad thing in contrast to living at home.

  “I could certainly get used to you cooking like this,” she said as she finished her bite and then sipped at her iced tea.

  “I have about four meals I can cook well. This is one of them.”

  “Well, let’s do this often.” She laughed and reached for him. “Thank you for handling her the way you did. I’m not sure I can convince you she’s different, usually. This seems to be the only side you’ve seen.”

  “A woman with a very direct husband, a son who has been killed in combat, and a very independent daughter who doesn’t need her all the time, is what I see. She’s just a bit out of sorts.”

  “You always tell me I see more than sighted people. I can read them. But I think you do too.”

  “Sometimes when you’re too close to it, you can’t see what’s going on.”

  “Like when you left.”

  He winced. “Exactly. I had to step away from it to realize she hadn’t hurt me. She’d protected me by not telling me about everything. Spencer understood that. Me—I had to go have a pity party.”

  Courtney stood and moved to him, sitting down on his lap, and wrapping her arms around his neck. “I’m very glad your pity party ended when it did. I’m very happy that fate threw you on that plane.”

  “I’m just glad that when it did, I still smelled good.”

  She laughed and rested her head on his shoulder. “Let’s clean this up and spend the rest of the night numbing our brain in front of the TV cuddled up.”

  “I think that sounds like a fine idea.”

  They moved in sync in the kitchen, cleaning dishes and wrapping up leftovers. Tyler washed the dishes and Courtney dried them. They laughed. They talked about the gala. They fell deeper in love over simple and everyday activities.

  When everything was tidy and back in place—which was necessary for her safety and was going to take some work on Tyler’s part—they moved toward the living room to spend their evening wrapped in each other’s arms.

  As they passed the table by the stairs, Tyler looked down at the basket filled with mail. “I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why do you have a basket of unopened mail?”

  She stopped and turned to him. “I just put it there when it comes and my mother usually comes by and helps me take care of it. Mail doesn’t usually come in braille. But I haven’t been spending time with her. Oh, Tyler, there are probably some very important bills in there.”

  “Okay, let’s take this into the kitchen and go through it. I’m here now. I can help you with this every day.”

  She nodded, but the crease between her brows told him that this was one of those cases where she needed someone’s help and that bothered her.

  Tyler picked up the basket and they walked back to the kitchen. For the next hour, they sorted envelopes according to what they were. Courtney pulled out her laptop and as Tyler told her what bill was to be paid, she entered it into the computer and sent the payment through the bank.

  Eventually the pile was dwindled down to junk mail, sale ads
, and one letter.

  “It’s just addressed to the family of Fitz Field,” he said.

  “A sympathy card?”

  “No, it must be a letter. No return address on it.”

  She lifted her hands in the air and sat back in her chair away from the computer. “Let’s hear it then.”

  Tyler opened the letter and pulled out two sheets. One was crisp and pristine the other very obviously had been tattered and folded many times.

  Tyler began to read, “To the family of Fitz. I hope I have waited long enough to send this letter. I was with Fitz when he was injured in combat. We had taken fire and he’d been hit in the leg. It wasn’t a fatal wound, in fact, except for the chance of infection, it was only a flesh wound as the bullet hadn’t even lodged itself in his leg.” Tyler took a breath and continued.

  “When we were able to take cover, we were in an area where there was still heavy gunfire. We had the unfortunate moment to come across a young Afghan man who was very scared. He held us at gunpoint, but obviously he was in as wrong a place as we were.

  “He shared with us his food and at one point Fitz asked him if he had something he could write on. Fitz spent the next few hours penning the note I have sent along.

  “I know he was in some pain, but he’d not been himself in months. He was angry and spoke of his father many times. And on more than one occasion he mentioned that he never should have been in a war. He should have been home running some financial company. That was what he wanted to do. The military was never his choosing.”

  Tyler stopped for a moment and looked at Courtney whose face was pale. “Maybe we should stop for now.”

  “Are you kidding me?” she snapped out at him. “Finish the damn letter. In fact, read Fitz’s letter. I want you to read Fitz’s letter.”

  Tyler looked at the second piece of paper. It had been wet, ripped, and drenched in blood. But the only part of the letter he could read was the writing at the top.

  “I can’t read this. It’s for you.”

  Courtney’s lips pursed and her cheeks grew redder from anger mixed with the tears that were filling her eyes. “Don’t mess around. I’m not kidding. Read it.”

  “The only part I can read says, For Courtney. Please get this to her.” He swallowed and placed the letter in her hands. “It’s in braille, done with the tip of a pen.”

  Her hands shook as she took the paper. “I taught him braille so we could send notes to each other and my mother would never be able to read them.”

  “I don’t know how well you’ll be able to read it. It has been folded.”

  Courtney set the paper flat on the table and gently skimmed her fingers over the raised bumps on the paper. She did it repeatedly.

  Her lips trembled. Her nose grew redder and she closed her eyes as the first tear rolled down her cheek.

  “Can you read it? Do you understand it?”

  She nodded and wiped her eyes.

  “Sweetheart, what does it say?”

  Courtney pulled the letter to her chest. “I think you need to go for now. I need some time alone.”

  “Courtney, what does it say?”

  She stood from her chair, her hands flat on the table. “I said I need some time.”

  “And I want to know what’s going on,” he said as he rose.

  Because he was fully aware that it was her house and she knew it like the back of her hand, there was no keeping up with her when she fled from him and ran up the stairs.

  The door slammed and the lock clicked when he reached it.

  “This is ridiculous. Why won’t you tell me what he said?”

  “I-want-to-be-alone,” she screamed in almost a demonic voice.

  Tyler stepped away from the door and went back to the kitchen where the other letter lay. He picked it up and finished from where he’d left off.

  He began where the writer said; The military was never his choosing.

  If I could call him a daredevil in combat, I would. He didn’t show fear when standing down insurgents. But he did show great remorse if he took a life.

  I highly believe that that and the lack of military desire, led to the following events.

  We had promised to take turns sleeping. We were aware that we had been away from our squad for nearly going on two days. There was some chance we’d not be found. Though Fitz was sure they were near and would still come for us. During one of my sleeps I was awaken by gunfire. When I rose I found our Afghan friend standing over Fitz’s body holding a gun. He was shaken badly and was bleeding. I pulled my gun and began to interrogate him.

  He said Fitz attacked him. But not in anger. He wanted the man to kill him. Fitz told him he wanted to die. When the man refused Fitz reached for the gun and that was when it went off into his chest.

  Tyler dropped the letter and sat down at the table. He ran his hand over his face and tried to breathe. Nausea bubbled in his stomach and he had to will it down. Fitz Field had committed suicide.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  It had been nearly two weeks since Courtney had locked Tyler out of her room, out of the house, and out of her life.

  He’d spent the night after finding out what was in the letter. He slept on the couch to be there when she needed him. The truth had been, she didn’t need him.

  Courtney had stood there the next morning and asked him to leave. No explanation. No apologies.

  Tyler had done just that. Since then he’d called, texted, and stopped by. But for two weeks, he hadn’t seen her or heard from her.

  Perhaps she was mad because he’d called her father the next day. But Michael Field already knew about the letter and his daughter’s reaction. He too was feeling the pain of his son’s final words. However, with Courtney’s wish in mind, he wouldn’t agree to help Tyler see her.

  “In time and only when she’s ready,” he’d said on the front step of his home when Tyler had driven out.

  “I understand. Please, sir, tell her I love her. I want to be there for her—for you all.”

  Courtney heard her mother sigh as she stepped back from the window. “He’s gone,” she said and Courtney nodded. “Don’t you suppose you should talk to him? He seems to care a lot about you.”

  “He does. That’s the problem.”

  “And how could that be a problem?” Her mother sat down next to her on the bed. “Don’t you believe in the power of love?”

  Courtney swallowed back the venomous anger she wanted to spew. Instead she took a deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it free.

  “Mother, I can’t be someone’s burden ever again. I don’t plan to be yours and I certainly don’t plan on giving this horrible life to someone else.”

  She heard the saddened tsk her mother made, but she didn’t scold her. “What about the gala tomorrow? You’ve worked so hard. You should be there.”

  “No. I won’t go. He can fire me, because I’m never doing that again.”

  Her mother patted her knee. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me. Your father and I don’t think you’re a burden. And I don’t think your brother thought you were either.”

  She felt her mother rise from the bed and heard the door close when her mother had left.

  Courtney fell back onto the bed and sobbed again. How could Fitz have said such things in his letter? He resented their father for putting him into situations which had landed him where he was. “Who forces their son to train to kill others?” Fitz had written.

  It still hurt—the sting of his words. Though he’d never said she was a burden, he’d apologized for the life he’d ended up giving her—a life of darkness and missed opportunities.

  Who was he, the boy who’d taken his own life from them, to say she’d missed any opportunity? If he could have seen the life she painted in her mind he’d never have done what he did. Fitz had been her life and now he was gone by his own hand. It hurt. It hurt worse than having learned about it the first time. Worse than the day they collected his casket off the plane and her
mother sobbed over it.

  But Tyler had mended her heart and let her mourn her brother and accept his fate. How could she possibly accept this?

  If Tyler ran when a blessing such as a sister arrived in his life then he certainly would run from a woman who would always need and depend on him—or anyone for that matter.

  It was better to let him grieve their brief affair and move on with his life. He’d be a foolish idiot if he didn’t realize that his family was perfect. All of them. Even his mother who gave away her baby when it seemed darkest.

  It stung to know that Tyler’s family would accept her as she was forever. But then again, they wouldn’t be the ones daily having to make sure everything was just right. Even children. Those children would come and she’d learn to adapt, but even their slight messes around the house could be dangerous. It was just better to say goodbye to the man and not think another thought of him.

  Courtney sobbed until she no longer could tell light and dark. The sun had gone now, she knew. She was in her childhood bedroom—alone.

  And she missed Tyler.

  ~*~

  Simone worked the room as she did so well. The event was bigger than Tyler could have ever imagined. There was a vendor that was supposed to be set up in the tents that was late. One of the sections of parking hadn’t yet been opened. And of all people, Simone’s father had shown up.

  How come his arrival at the event hadn’t shaken her up? After all, she’d barely spoken to her father in twenty years. Why show up now? Why here? Why bother?

  However, Simone graced her guests with a smile and pure calm. So why did Courtney’s absence make Tyler feel so off kilter?

  “Honey, you did a wonderful job,” his mother said as she approached him. “This is the best gala I think Diamond Gift has ever had.”

  “Thanks. I didn’t do it alone though.”

  She smiled sweetly and reached out for his arm. “I know. Where is she?”

  Tyler bit down hard so that he didn’t snap at his own mother when nothing was her fault. “I haven’t seen her in two weeks. I’ve had to bury myself into final details here and—well, she hasn’t been around.”