Fearless (Battle Born Book 12)

by Cyndi Friberg

  “Someone set off a bomb in one of the restaurants. That’s why I came here. Figured the Intrepid would have their hands full right about now.”

  The doctor shook his head, clearly disgusted by the cowardice. “Solar Warden?”

  “That would be my guess.” Jakkin stood silently while the doctor triggered a variety of scans.

  “She has no physical injuries.” He brought up a representation of her brain activity. “This is a severe form of shock, a protective mechanism.”

  Jakkin wasn’t surprised by the diagnosis. He’d seen soldiers shut down completely after, even during, battles. “Can you bring her out of it?”

  “I can, but I’m not sure I should. Her mind did this for a reason.”

  “Then what’s the treatment?”

  “It depends how long she stays like this. If she emerges on her own, then she’ll need a good therapist. If she doesn’t, you might want to com Indigo.”

  Indigo was one of the instructors who conducted orientation. She was also a psychic healer. Jakkin had never seen her work, but he knew of several people that she’d helped significantly. He sighed, not pleased with either option. It would have been nice if the doctor could administer a mist and all would be well. “The re-gen unit won’t help?”

  “Afraid not. There is nothing wrong with her, physically.”

  Jakkin started to pick her up, then hesitated. “Should I leave her here or take her to my quarters?”

  The doctor smiled at him. “Can you behave if you take her with you?” Jakkin glared at him, so he added, “Waking up in a safe, non-clinical environment would be good for her. Is your cabin safe?”

  Few of his crew felt comfortable enough to harass him, so Jakkin appreciated the teasing. “She’s perfectly safe with me.”

  Hating the helplessness, Jakkin carried her to his cabin and put her on his bed. He pulled off her boots, pausing over the elastic strap and scrap of material secured around one boot. It looked almost like a homemade holster, but where was the gun? He dismissed the detail as unimportant, took off her socks then pulled the covers up to her shoulders.

  After taking the quickest shower of his life, he pulled on a pair of exercise shorts and sat in a chair facing the bed. He would not take advantage of her vulnerability, nor would he allow her to wake up alone. So he notified his first officer that he was back on board, then used his datapad to sort through the correspondence that had piled up during the day. One would think he’d been gone for a month, rather than a day.

  Kelsey’s terrified scream jarred him out of boredom’s haze about two hours later. He tossed the datapad aside and crawled onto the bed, pulling her up and into his arms. “You’re safe, love. Everything’s all right.”

  She arched and shook her head, but immediately fell silent.

  He tensed, afraid she’d lapsed back into the protective trance. “Kelsey.” He brushed her hair back from her face and found her staring at him, anger and confusion sharpening her beautiful topaz eyes. “Hello, beautiful.”

  “Why am I in bed with you?” she snapped, but didn’t try to move off his lap.

  Should he avoid what she’d just been through? He wasn’t sure what to say. “You’re safe now. Everything’s fine.”

  She did move then, but she didn’t go far. She moved to sit beside him, facing him with her legs folded under her dress. “We’re back on the Fearless. Aren’t we? How did I get here?

  Her composure was superficial. He could still see a tempest of emotions churning behind her eyes. “Dakar asked me to check on you, but you didn’t respond. I let myself in and found you unresponsive, in a sort of trance.”

  She licked her lips and nodded once, her hands starting to tremble. “Can I have some water? My mouth’s really dry.”

  “Of course.” He swung his legs over the side and hurried into the living room. The water in the bathroom was nontoxic, but being part of the recycled supply, it tasted terrible. Instead, he ordered a bottle of water from the nutri-gen and returned to the bedroom.

  She’d shifted position, sitting against the wall with her legs under the covers. He handed her the water then returned to his chair. It was obvious she’d been uncomfortable with having him in bed with her, so he gave her some space.

  She held the water bottle as if she’d forgotten she asked for it. “How many died in the explosion?”

  That answered the question he’d been afraid to ask. She remembered everything. “I don’t know.”

  “Is Alyssa okay?” She finally twisted off the cap and took a drink.

  “I think she’s fine. Let me check.” Dakar was doubtlessly swamped, but Alyssa didn’t have an audio-com. With great reluctance, he pinged Dakar and braced for a less than hospitable greeting.

  “This is Lux. Go.”

  “I’m with Kelsey. She’s asking about Alyssa.”

  “Alyssa is stubborn as hells, but uninjured. How’s Kelsey?”

  Jakkin couldn’t help but smile. “She’s doing better. I’m glad I came.”

  “Me too. Lux out.”

  He looked at Kelsey and assured, “Alyssa’s fine. Driving Dakar crazy, but she’s unharmed.”

  “Good.” She took another drink, then shifted her gaze to the wall in front of her. “I didn’t do a very good job of protecting her. Did I?”

  Jakkin tensed, hating himself for even considering the question. She was clearly traumatized. He needed to let her recover before beginning his interrogation. And yet, she’d provided the perfect opening. “Is it your job to protect Alyssa?”

  Her gaze snapped back to his, wary and fully alert. “Don’t you protect your friends?”

  It had been more than that and they both knew it, but he let it slide. He was so relieved to see her spirit return, he wasn’t about to start a fight. “Do you understand what happened to you? Has it happened before?”

  She looked particularly pained, but nodded. “Twice.”

  What did humans call battle terrors? Oh yeah, post-traumatic stress disorder. “You were in the Marines. Is this PTSD?”

  She nodded again. “I thought I’d conquered it. It’s been years since my last episode. I hardly even have nightmares anymore.”

  “Well, tonight was a little too much like war. It would have been more surprising if you didn’t react.”

  She started to say something then took another drink instead. He wasn’t sure how to comfort her. Did she need to talk, or should he try to distract her? He should have commed Indigo before Kelsey awakened. He’d never felt so helpless in his life.

  “I like your outfit.”

  Her teasing tone surprised him. “Sorry. I’ll get a shirt.” He pushed to his feet, but didn’t make it to the closet.

  “Don’t cover up on my account.” She smiled at him, gaze starting to smolder.

  Shit. She was not going to go there, was she? He’d been desperate to claim her ever since he caught her scent, but this was not the time. She had just endured an incredible ordeal. Sex was the last thing she needed.

  “You can look all you like, but that’s all you’re getting.” He sat back down and reached for his datapad, needing to hide his rapidly growing erection. “Dr. Iftar said you need rest.”

  “Some alien doctor knows my body better than I do? I don’t think so.” Kelsey’s heart beat so hard her chest ached. The memories hovered at the edge of her mind, ready to swoop in and torment her again. She could still hear the anguished cries of the dying. She needed something, anything to distract her from the pain, the horror, the loss. She would not break down, not in front of Jakkin.

  He just shook his head and activated his datapad. Unlike the ones the volunteers had been given, his was fully functional. He activated the holo-display and did his best to ignore her.

  She crawled off his side of the bed and stood in front of him. Her hands shook as she unfastened her belt, but she couldn’t let that deter her. More screaming echoed through her mind. Passion was the only thing so consuming it would silence the voices. “Does it have to
be your idea? Is that what this is about?” She was breathing too fast and she felt lightheaded.

  He focused on the holo-display with stubborn determination, but his hand shook as he manipulated the controls. “It’s not going to work, Kelsey. Get back in bed.”

  She unbuttoned her dress to the waist, but he didn’t look up. “I will, if you come with me.”

  A muffled groan rumbled in his throat and he closed his eyes. “You don’t know what you’re doing. This is stress.”

  “Damn right it is.” She freed a few more buttons, then pulled her arms out of the sleeves and waited for him to open his eyes. Angry now, she decided to challenge him instead. “Haven’t you ever jerked off after a battle because you’re so revved up you can’t sleep?”

  He clasped the datapad so hard his knuckles were white, but his eyes remained closed. “It wasn’t just a battle. I’m not going to touch you.”

  Stubborn man. She was shaking almost as badly as he was now, but she couldn’t turn back, couldn’t give in to the hysteria bearing down on her. She unfastened her bra and threw it at him.

  The bra hit him in the chest and he reflexively opened his eyes. Luckily for her, his seated position put her breasts on a level with his gaze. He looked at her and cursed, then set the datapad aside. “This is a really bad idea.”

  Encouraged by her sudden progress, she advanced. She moved his legs apart and stood between his thighs. “Your objection is noted, Commander,” she whispered, then guided his hand to her breast. “I need this. I need you.”

  And just like that, she had him. He stood, picking her up on the way. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his hair as tears gathered in her eyes. She would not cry, would not give in to the ghosts, or the screaming.

  He gently laid her on the bed, then crawled in beside her. “You’re shaking.”

  “So are you,” she pointed out as she dragged his face toward her.

  “I think we should talk.”

  “No.” She found his mouth with hers and kissed him with wild abandon, rubbing her breasts against his chest, thrilled that they were finally skin to skin.

  He didn’t accept her aggression for long. His dominant nature simply wouldn’t allow it. He rolled her onto her back and drew her arms above her head. “Slow down, love. I’m right here.”

  “Don’t stop.” She kissed him again, being aggressive in the only way he’d allow her. “Promise you won’t stop.”

  He didn’t respond with words. Instead, he angled his head and took control of the kiss. His mouth fit over hers, preventing her frantic movements. Then he caressed her lips with his tongue. There was no other way to describe it. His movements were soft and slow, calming her, soothing her.

  “I’m not going anywhere.” His lips moved against hers as he spoke. “I’ve got you. Relax.”

  Like a drug, his command washed over her and tension bled from her muscles. He kissed her some more and she patiently kissed him back. The screams grew softer each time his tongue stroked over hers. She could do this. They could do this together.

  He held her wrists securely with one hand and slid the other down her neck. His fingers brushed across her upper chest before he cupped her breast. She stirred restlessly, but couldn’t really move. Her hands were restrained over her head and he had one leg thrown over both of hers.

  It seemed bass-ackwards, but her helplessness made her feel safe. She didn’t have to be strong because this warrior would protect her.

  Their kiss went on so long her lightheadedness grew. His hand moved from one breast to the other, spreading heat and tingles in its wake. He wasn’t even focused on her nipples, yet desire gathered between her legs, making her wet and needful.

  “Please.” She wasn’t even sure what she begged for, just knew she needed more.

  “Please, what?”

  After another drugged kiss, she whispered, “Please, more.”

  Mercifully, he didn’t ask her to clarify. Instead, he moved his leg off hers. She immediately bent her knees and opened for him. He didn’t move on top of her as she’d hoped. He brushed his fingers across her belly, then eased his hand between her thighs.

  “Oh gods.” He moaned against her open mouth. “You are so wet.”

  “I need you.” She lifted her hips and pressed against his hand. “I need you inside me.”

  With another throaty moan, he slowly pushed two fingers into her aching core. She shook, thrilled by the slight fullness, but desperately needing more. His thumb stroked over her clit and her entire body jerked. She gasped and he chuckled.

  “Like that?” He did it again and again, quickly driving her toward orgasm.

  She clutched her fists, thighs shaking from the tension. She hovered on the edge of completion and he stopped. “Bastard,” she muttered and he laughed.

  “We’re all bastards, sweetheart. You’ll have to try harder.” His fingers slid almost out, then thrust back in.

  She arched, taking him deeper. It felt so good to finally have her mate inside her, even if it was only his fingers. Your mate? A nagging voice mocked in the back of her mind. It didn’t matter. She couldn’t hear the screaming. Nothing else mattered.

  He filled her over and over and she reveled in the pleasure, riding the wave as high as she possibly could. His mouth returned to hers and soon his tongue thrust in tandem with his fingers. She squeezed her eyes shut, imagining him over her, filling her with something much more substantial than his fingers.

  His wicked thumb brushed her clit and she shuddered, her inner muscles rippling. She surrendered completely, trusting him to take away her pain. His thumb circled as his fingers slid and pleasure detonated deep inside.

  She cried out against his mouth, shuddering violently as wave after wave of sensation crashed over her. He thrust his fingers deep and prolonged the spasms with his thumb. His kiss gentled and so did his touch. He brought her down slowly, then gently moved his hand to her hip and rolled her onto her side.

  Their bodies fit together, but he still wore shorts, ruining the glorious slide of skin against skin. His mouth closed, then slowly pulled away as he released her wrists. She wrapped her arm around his waist and pressed herself against him. Their legs entwined, but passion receded, leaving her sleepy and satisfied.

  “What about you?” she whispered against his neck. His arousal was unmistakable with their bodies so tightly aligned.

  He chuckled. “I’m holding my mate in my arms and my scent covers her body. I think that’s more than enough for one night.”

  She tensed, then let it go, too content to care that he’d marked her. “Promise you won’t leave if I go to sleep.”

  “Why would I leave?” He gave her a gentle squeeze. “I’m right where I want to be.”

  * * * * *

  Royce Marsden pulled his son into a tight hug, overwhelmed by gratitude and relief.

  “Step off, Dad.” Jason twisted out of Royce’s arms, looking around the arrival bay, obviously concerned that the embrace might have been witnessed. The ship’s molecular teleportation engineer didn’t appear to be paying any attention to them, so Jason relaxed. “What is with you tonight? Why are you all clingy?”

  “Shadow Leader is seriously pissed off. I was afraid he’d deny my transfer request. It was, more or less, a favor.”

  Jason tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “Why would Shadow Leader be pissed at you? You’re his favorite agent.”

  Royce had made damn sure his son had that opinion, even if it wasn’t quite factual. At one time, Royce had been Shadow Leader’s pride and joy. But those years were long gone. Too many disappointing missions had led to his fall from grace. Still, Royce was the agent who had been part of Solar Warden longer than any other, which guaranteed him certain privileges. One was personally requesting crew members. Jason had joined Solar Warden four years ago and Royce had allowed him those years to find his footing and develop his own relationships. Still, it had always been Royce’s intention to have his only child o
n board his ship where he could control his advancement.

  “I arranged a demonstration that didn’t go off as planned,” Royce admitted.

  Jason cringed and looked around again. They were alone in the tiny room, so why was Jason so anxious. “Are you talking about the restaurant explosion? Was that you?”

  Damn, gossip traveled fast. Did everyone in Solar Warden know about the disaster already? “The bombs were supposed to detonate in a warehouse, not that restaurant. No one was supposed to have been hurt.”

  “I can see why Shadow Leader is pissed.” Jason shook his head, eyes filled with condemnation.

  Having his son take Shadow Leader’s side stung like little else could. Royce was twice divorced and hadn’t attempted to maintain a relationship with either of his exs. Jason was his only living family and his opinion was vitally important to Royce. “It was an accident,” he stressed, “a malfunction. It was not my fault.”

  “Clearly, Shadow Leader disagrees.” Jason leaned down and picked up his duffle bag, slinging the long strap over his shoulder. “It’s late, Dad. Where’s my cabin?”

  Happy to move on, Royce led him out into the corridor. The Elena Marie wasn’t large, but she was one of only thirty-seven spaceships controlled by humans. Having access to any of them was an honor. Commanding one was a privilege he was determined to share with his son in the relatively near future. “I’ll have to be careful with how quickly I promote you,” he said quietly. “Everyone knows you’re my son.”

  Jason stopped walking and faced him. “I don’t want anything I haven’t earned. I’m serious, Dad. Treat me the same as anyone else.”

  Royce waved away the suggestion, finding it absurd. “You’re my son. That might not mean anything to you, but it means the world to me.”

  Clearly irritated by the statements, Jason fell in step beside Royce as they continued down the corridor. “What’s our next step? Have you been given new orders, yet?”

  Royce heaved a sigh of frustration. He wasn’t sure when or why their relationship had changed, but the last few times he and Jason had visited, Jason had been all business. He seemed uninterested in anything personal, anything familial. It was almost as if Jason were trying to forget Royce was his father. “Are you all right, son? Are we all right?”